Grasping Blindly

Rating: T for mild language.

Category: Romace/Angst/Action

Pairings: mild SakuSasu, SakuNaru, SakuJira

Disclaimer: I only wish I owned Naruto, but I don't.

She couldn't believe it. Not now, not now. It didn't happen. Yet it had.

She had sworn to protect them both, as well as she could, yet the seventeen-year-old kunoichi knew in the back of her heart it wouldn't matter. She looked in disbelief at the white-haired man before her, her eyes hollow.

"Did you…. Recover the bodies?" Sakura's grip on the edge of the door tightened as the words left her lips. Her long hair, which had darkened with age, fell past her elbows in messy waves and curls, framing her face, which was filled with conflicting emotions.

Jiraiya looked her over and nodded sadly. He hadn't wanted to be the one to deliver the news, yet he had. Tsunade had other matters to attend to, and she had been afraid that if she broke the news to her student, she wouldn't be able to stand seeing the girl break.

Sakura straightened up and looked at him squarely, her jaw set.

"I want to see them. As... as a final farewell. I know it won't be pretty, knowing those two, but I still have to… say goodbye." Jiraiya turned and walked halfheartedly down the street. She walked out of her house, shutting the door behind her, and following Jiraiya like a soldier making sure her prisoner was minding his manners. As they reached the Hokage's office, Tsunade appeared at the door and motioned for them to come in.

"We fixed them up the best we could…. Sakura, I'm so sorry…" Sakura strode past Tsunade and marched into her office, stopping short as she saw the two stretchers. A pale hand hung from one of them, a mass of black hair cascading from beneath the sheet. And the other one, she could see nothing but she knew full well who it was. She took a deep breath and knelt, moving back the sheet of the stretcher nearest her, gazing at the face of the man she hadn't seen in four years.

Sasuke's eyes were wide open, his Sharingan now a dull maroon instead of bright crimson. His smooth, pale skin shone in the moonlight that filtered through the windows of the office and his silky black hair framed his face, messily falling around the edges of the stretcher and onto his bare chest. A soft smile graced the edges of his cold lips, and Sakura fought hard to stifle a sob. Jiraiya and Tsunade watched silently and sorrowfully from the door as she moved to the second stretcher and pulled the sheet back.

Naruto's tanned skin looked pale in the light, and his golden hair short and messy, making him look more like a sun than anything else. Sakura knew that his cerulean eyes were dull beneath their lids, but she forced into her mind the image of them sparkling, full of life instead of dull and grey. His jacket was torn open, and his necklace shone in the light, giving him an ethereal look. Sakura couldn't stand it anymore. She wailed and flung herself on Naruto's chest, the tears flowing freely.

"Naruto! Why, goddammit, why? You promised me you'd never go! How could you do this! And Sasuke…" She sat up and looked over her shoulder, sniffing loudly. "How could you do this to him! To me?" She buried her face in her hands and cried harder, and Jiraiya walked over and knelt next to her, wrapping a comforting arm around her shoulder.

"Sakura…. You knew it would happen sooner or later. Don't pretend you didn't." Sakura didn't answer; instead, she sobbed into the older man's chest, her hiccups and sobs fading away slowly as she drifted to sleep, exhausted. Tsunade nodded to Jiraiya, and he picked up the young woman and carried her out of the building, walking back to her house.

He knew it would be like this. He knew she would break down, he knew that she would cry herself to sleep, knew that when she woke up she would blame herself for everything. As they reached her house, Jiraiya opened the door quietly and carried the kunoichi upstairs, to her room, and laid her on the bed. He pulled a chair next to the bed, and waited for her to wake up so he could calm her down. However, it came a lot sooner than he expected.

Sakura bolted upright an hour after she had passed out, breathing heavily, her eyes wide and panicked. Jiraiya reached over and pushed her back down.

"Sakura, get some rest. God knows you need it." Sakura shook her head resolutely and looked at him stubbornly.

"No. I'm never going to forgive myself for this... I didn't try hard enough. I wasn't strong enough. I couldn't stop them…. Either of them." Jiraiya growled and glared at her.

"Knock it off. There's nothing any of us could have-" "Well then, what the hell's the use? If I'm no use, why am I here?" Sakura bolted up again and glowered at him. He stood and pushed her back down, holding her shoulder to keep her there. She looked at him, tears welling in her eyes.

"Of course… Jiraiya, where were you? Why didn't you stop him?" Her eyes looked at him, full of accusation. "You did nothing, isn't that right?" Jiraiya looked at her face and sighed.

"I was letting Naruto choose his own path. You should have too." Sakura shut her mouth, but she continued to glare at him. He chuckled sadly and gazed at her softly, smiling.

"Now I know what Naruto saw in you that made him want you so. When it comes down to it, you two are really the same." Sakura's eyes widened. "What-" she was cut off by Jiraiya pressing his finger to her lips.

"Ssh. Just listen. There's a reason you two never seemed to get along, yet you loved him all the same, like he loved you. You're almost exactly the same. But the difference is that you never told him. And he gave up on you a while ago." Sakura let out a muffled sob, and Jiraiya's grip on her shoulder loosened momentarily. In that moment, Sakura grabbed onto him and pulled him down, hugging him and crying. Jiraya could only turn red, and he patted her back awkwardly.

"Um.. yeah Sakura…. You can let go now…" Sakura shook her head. "You were always there for him. I owe it to you, I'm sorry I accused you like that….." She pulled away a bit. "I was just blinded." Jiraiya smiled a bit.

"So was I." Without warning, he bent down and kissed her full on the mouth. Sakura's eyes widened a bit, but she relaxed and kissed him back. After a few seconds, she pulled away.

"This is what I was missing, ne?" She smiled sadly. "I was so busy looking at Sasuke… I looked right past the one always there for me." Jiraiya chuckled and got off the bed, walking out the door.

"Don't worry, Sakura. After all, it's just a dream." He walked out, leaving Sakura befuddled.

"Huh?"

Sakura sat up as the sunlight hit her eyes. She could hear someone downstairs knocking at her door. "What the….?" She stood shakily and walked out of her bedroom door, then walked downstairs. As she reached the front door, she hesitated, then pulled it open. There was Naruto, grinning at her.

"Good morning, Sakura-chan! I was-" He was cut off by Sakura leaping onto him, laughing. "S-sakura…" She pulled back and looked at him as his face reddened.

"Nani?" Naruto looked at her, raising an eyebrow. "You seem to be in an awfully good mood. What happened?" Sakura giggled, then pressed against him. "I was just shown what to do." "Wha-"

Sakura reached up and grabbed his shoulders, pulling him down and kissing him. Naruto wrapped his arms around her, his heart pounding. They pulled away a minute or so later… it felt like hours. Sakura grinned.

"Wanna go out to ramen? My treat." Naruto smirked.

"As you wish, Sakura-chan." Sakura ran upstairs and threw on a regular white tee and jeans, then pulled on her boots and ran downstairs, brushing her hair. She walked out the door, grabbing Naruto's arm as she did so, and shut her door, giggling as they walked down the street to the restaurant.

Sekhimet: Yeah yeah, I know it sucked. But review and tell me what you think, please!