So Much for my Happy Ending
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except my whacked-out thoughts.
Spoilers: Small parts from: Play with Fire; Butterflied; Bloodlines; Nesting Dolls; Committed; Grave Danger; Way to Go; and Living Doll
Summary: So much for Grissom's happy ending. GSR
A/N: This doesn't have a beta...I may not own CSI, but I own all the mistakes in this fic. There is a Character Death!! So if you don't like them, don't read...this is your last warning!
A/N2: To avoid any confusion, this fic is written from Grissom's point of view. He is talking about Sara throughout the entire story. Hope you enjoy!
When I was younger, I always pictured myself dying with a beautiful woman in my life. Until you, Sara, came around, I believed it impossible. Then you arrived in my life and offered me a happy, loving life with you. At first, I was scared, so I declined, even though I wanted to be with you. It nearly killed my to reject your dinner date after you were nearly blown up. I kept on rejecting you, and I pushed you farther away. I thought that if I kept you at arms length, my feelings for you would disappear...boy was I wrong.
After the Debbie Marlin case, I re-evaluated my feelings for you. I had nightmares that you died. You looked so much like Debbie Marlin, it was creepy. It took weeks for the nightmares to disappear. Then, after your near-DUI, I tried to keep a watchful eye on you. I didn't want anything to happen to you, so I tried to pair you up with me on every case I could.
I felt like crying with you went you told me about your family. I wanted to scoop you up in my arms and hold on to you. When Adam Trent held you captive with that ceramic shard poised at your throat, I was terrified. I tried to decide whether or not to take a risk and let you in or not. I wasn't sure if I wanted to live the rest of my life alone, or not. After Nick was abducted, I learned that life was too short, so I decided to make a move. I timidly asked you if you wanted to have breakfast with me at my house. I was so relieved when you said yes. After breakfast, I worked up the nerve to ask you if I was too late. I saw the tears in your eyes as you told me that I could never be too late. I remember scooping you up in me arms and holding you the whole night. I never wanted to lose you.
After Jim got shot, I knew that I didn't want to die alone. I didn't want to die without saying a proper goodbye to the people I love and cherish. After saying that you weren't ready to say goodbye, you held me tight and promised never to leave me here on this earth on my own...
...But you broke that promise. When I received that miniature model of you under that wrecked car, my blood ran cold. I searched frantically, trying to find you. I almost agreed with Jim to drip bleach all over Natalie until she gave up the location to where you were. When she wandered into her own little world her mind made up, we dispatched search helicopters to search the desert for a red, overturned Mustang.
A day past, and nobody knew where you were. I went into a helicopter to look for you as well, and I spotted the car. I landed and ran over to you, not caring that it was pouring down rain. I dropped down onto my knees and grasped your pale hand. I was very relieved when you gave my hand a weak squeeze. I whispered for you to hang on and that they were going to get the car off of you. They lifted the car and I slid you out from the muck. I hugged you, kissed your cheek, and whispered for you to hang in there and that you were safe now. They loaded you into the ambulance and I jumped in with you. I took your cold, clammy hand and kissed it. I remember you looking up at me and saying, "Gil, I'm sorry...I love you.
"No, Sara, you're going to be okay," I had said fiercely.
"My body is broken," you had weakly murmured.
"Please, Sara, don't! I need you!" I had pleaded, tears rising as I realized that you were giving up.
"I know," you had said, struggling to stay awake. "Gil, I love you...so much."
"I love you too," I whispered, crying as you closed your eyes and slipped into an eternal slumber. The heart monitor beeped and went flat.
CSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSICSI
So, that is why I am sitting on the cold, damp earth, staring blankly at your gravestone. Tears rise in my eyes as I finger with a black, velvet box. Nestled in the box is a beautifully cut diamond ring. Had Natalie not abducted you, I would've asked you to spend the rest of my life with you, and then given you the ring. But, she took you and pinned you beneath a car, and we got to you too late.
I sigh as I get up. I place my hand on the gravestone before leaving. I walk to the Denali and get in the vehicle. I sit there a few minutes, thinking of all the pleasant times we shared. I have tears rolling down my cheeks as I think dully, 'So much for my happy ending.' Because of Natalie, I will have to grow old and die alone. Life is so cruel.
I go home and try to get some rest, but my dreams are plagued with images of your broken body, you're empty eyes, and – worst of all – your gravestone.
Sara Marie Sidle
September 16, 1971 – May 18, 2007
A/N: Please let me know if you liked it, hated it, or think I am WAY too depressing:) I am working on a happier version of when they rescue Sara.