A/N: Artemis Fowl/Harry Potter crossover, takes place after the 3rd book of AF and the 5th book of HP. Enjoy muchly.
Disclaimer: I don't own Artemis or Harry, end of story.
Unusual Alliances
Chapter 1: Vacation in London
Artemis Fowl strolled down the streets of London, accompanied by his family, and looking quite out of sorts.
"Look, Arty!" cried his mother, grabbing his shoulder and pointing. "It's the Eye!"
Artemis let his eyes take in the contraption before him, and pretended to be excited. Maybe it was exciting to regular people, but to him it was only a piece of very simple engineering - just on a very grand scale. Nothing special, really.
"I was thinking we could take a ride," continued his mother. "The view of London from that height must be truly majestic!"
"Of course, my dear," agreed Artemis father, planting a swift kiss on her cheek.
Why do they have to be so soppy all the time? Artemis wondered sourly. When his parents had first suggested a family vacation in London, he had thought he was going to die. As it was, it was turning out to be one of the worst experiences in his life - besides that boarding school a couple years back. But honestly… he really had better things to do than escorting his parents around London.
They bought their tickets and stood in line. A very long line. Artemis tried to use the time to think up new ways to escape from his parents - just for a day - but kept being interrupted by his mother's high-pitched squeals of 'just how beautiful it looked, she had never imagined' and 'oh isn't this a wonderful vacation, Artemis?"
At last they boarded. Their compartment wasn't quite large enough for the many people in it - but perhaps that was not the number of the people inside, but the size of them. There were two very large males across from Artemis, taking up about half the space. One looked about Artemis' age, blond and very stupid-looking. His enormous T-shirt could not quite hide the bulging muscles underneath, and Artemis surmised that he was the kind that relied on brawn instead of brains to get him through life.
"Dad," he whined to the portly man next to him with a rather large mustache, and a rather short neck. "I don't like it here. I wanna leave."
"Now Duddykins," said the bony, blond woman on his other side, obviously his mother. "We can't leave now, we're already off the ground!"
"Teenagers," sighed Artemis' father long-sufferingly. "Always so stubborn, so hard to please. I have one myself - Arty!"
Artemis' normally sallow complexion turned crimson with embarrassment. Did his parents really have to call him by his hated pet name in front of complete strangers?
"Artemis, come meet the nice people."
Artemis thought these people were hardly nice, but said hello, and shook each of their hands anyway. After all, he always carried some hand sanitizer in his pocket - he could clean away the germs later.
"And this is our nephew Harry. He's rather odd y'see… Goes to St. Brutus Asylum for Incurably Crimminal Boys, for all the good it does him. The rest of the time, we keep him close… haha…"
Artemis didn't even take a moment to wonder what sort of parents would say such a thing about their own family. He had stopped listening long ago, and was now engrossed in the boy in front of him. It was something about his stance… he sensed - could almost feel - the aura of something that he had been searching for, and not expected to find - especially here.
Magic…