Lucy, a csi: miami fanfic

Hey Lucy, I remember your name
I left a dozen roses on your grave today
I'm in the grass on my knees, wipe the leaves away
I just came to talk for a while, got some things I need to say

He sat down in front of her grave, a small sigh escaping his lips. Tracing her name with her fingertips he closed his eyes, absorbing the pain. He knew, now, his destiny wasn't what he dreamed it would be, but he guessed he knew that a famliy of his own was never going to happen. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry you got in the middle of my fights, and you had to pay for it… I never meant for it to happen, I would of done anything to protect you, but in the end I couldn't I'm so sorry" He choked trying to hold back the tears in his eyes. "I'm so sorry"

Now that it's over, I just wanna hold her
I'd give up all the world to see
That little piece of Heaven looking back at me
Now that it's over, I just wanna hold her
I've gotta live with the choices I made
And I can't live with myself today

He laid down his head resting where hers would be "Do you remember our first night together? I do… I don't think I can forget it… your lips tasted like cherries, and your skin was so chocolaty, I loved the feel, and the taste" he went quiet for a moment, remembering the cries, the feelings, the pure pleasure that had pushed him right to the edge "I gave you everything I had, and it was torn away from me" He whispered "And it's all my fault. I'll never forgive myself for not protecting you." He went quiet again, regret taking over him,

Hey Lucy, I remembered your birthday
They said it'd bring some closure to say your name
I know I'd do it all different if I had the chance
But all I got are these roses to give
And they can't help me make amends

"I just needed to say goodbye, on my own" He whispered, "I needed to let you go, I know that, but right now, I can't… I loved you, so much, and you're gone, and i'm here, and I want to be with you, and every day its harder to live without you… the others are the only reason I can stay here the only things that keep me connected to this world. I just hope you can forgive me one day"

He sat back up, and placed his hand on his hip, where his gun rested in its holster. "Since we came back its always been in the back of my mind, but I can't do it. My famliy needs me, the team needs me, the city needs me… everyone needs me but no one wants me but you. God, I miss you so much, and every day it gets worse and worse, and I don't know if I can make it anymore. But I have to. Because I know this is how you wanted it. I knew I couldn't have you for long, and maybe its selfish of me, but I wanted you longer" he uncliped the gun. "I know I can never do it… I owe to you, to Ray, to my mother… I hate it but I can't."

Here we are, now you're in my arms
I never wanted anything so bad
Here we are for a brand new start
Living the life that we could've had

Me and Lucy walking hand in hand
Me and Lucy never wanna end
Just another moment in your eyes
I'll see you in another life in Heaven
Where we never say goodbye

"Marisol, I promise you will never be forgotten, I love you" he placed the rose next to her headstone and headed down the path towards the gate. "Goodbye"

Here we are, now you're in my arms
Here we are for a brand new start
I got to live with the choices I've made
And I can't live with myself today

Me and Lucy walking hand in hand
Me and Lucy never wanna end
I've got to live with the choices I've made
And I can't live with myself today

Hey Lucy, I remember your name