Of Mary Sues and Murder: Chaper 1

Hello! TheNeonNinja is back! This is my first PJO fic and just to be clear, it's a PARODY. :) Enjoy!

Hello! My name is Rubella Starshyne Lilak Raynebow Princessa Sue Loren Twynkle Tulyp Rose Avaari Mary Sapphiire Jones! My friends call me Ruby! So you can call me Ruby, okay? Great! Well, my amazing superhuman senses tell me that you're here to hear about my riveting, amazing, thrilling, scary, adventurous, suspenseful, wonderful, woeful, romantic, unbelievable, fantastical,and completely incredible tale of love, loss, and MURDER!

Hmmm... where to begin my tangled tale (Haha I love alliteration!)? Well, I suppose I'll start at the beginning!

First of all, I was born. I know, it's hard to picture ME as a little squealy baby, but trust me, I was there. I never want to go back.

I always knew that I was speshul. With my beautiful silver and purple hair cascading down my back and my silver eyes, I was always the center of attention. Boys would fawn over me and girls would praise me with compliments, no matter how much I assured everyone that I was completely normal. I never let it get to my head, though.

It was no surprise when one day, a stranger appeared at my school, Sir Peter Edward's School House and Unbeatable Library, and told me that we had to go or a vicious monster would come rip my head off.

The stranger was a good-looking boy with black hair and sea green eyes that could rival my silver ones. Of course I nodded and told him I would go with him. Who wouldn't go with an amazingly hot guy?

I followed him out of the twisting labyrinth that was my school. He led me outside to a beautiful black horse... with wings!

"Pegasus!" I squealed. Guys always thought it was adorable when I squealed. I ran over to to the pegasus and threw my arms around its neck. It whinnied and shook its head nervously.

"I don't like this one, boss. She's too squealy and she smells like an overripe fruit basket."

"Silly horsie! I'm not too squealy! And my perfume doesn't smell like a fruit basket! I don't even wear perfume!" I squealed again.

The stranger looked stunned. "You can understand him?"

I nodded and threw my hands up in the air as a sunbeam broke through the clouds and landed on me, making my hair glow like molten silver. I heard a faint hallelujah chorus. "I can understand all horsies!" I cheered.

The boy shook his head and growled "This is not good. Come on, they're waiting for us. Oh, by the way, I'm Percy." He expertly hopped up on the pegasus' back.

I looked up at him. He looked all majestic on the horse. "How do I get up?" I asked forlornly.

He growled again and jumped down. I stepped into the cup he made with his hands and gracefully clambered on the horse.

"Whee! This is fun!" I bounced excitedly on the pegasus.

"You're gonna have to stop that. I'm a pegasus, not a trampoline!" the pegasus whinnied.

"I'm soooooooo sorry... what's your name?"

"Blackjack," Percy said.

"Blackjack! What a cute name for a cute pegasus!" I gushed.

"Yeah, yeah. Are you ready to go?" Percy asked.

I nodded. An adventure! I always knew I was speshul! A pegasus only proved my point.

I gasped dramatically as Blackjack flapped his wings. We soared over New York City, over the Statue of Liberty, over everything. It all looked so pretty, like a gray quilt spread beneath me.

I gripped Percy's waist tighter as we dove down. Hmmm... he had a six pack! I resisted stroking his tight abs to rid me of my fear as we dove even steeper. I had a feeling Blackjack and Percy were enjoying my fear.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh! Save meeeeee!" I screamed as we got in range of the ground. Blackjack wasn't slowing down.

We came to a perfect stop on a tall hill. People wearing orange t-shirts that said 'Camp Half-Blood' gathered around us.

"Oh, help! I almost died on that vicious beast!" I pointed to Blackjack.

Percy snorted. "Don't pay attention to her. She's a drama queen." He turned, and I saw his face light up.

A blonde girl stood away from the group. She looked tan and athletic. I guess she was pretty, but she was nothing compared to me. She gave a smirk and gazed at Percy.

"Hey Annabeth." he said. He gazed back at her like she was the only one on Earth. He leaned towards her and gave her a peck on the lips.

I had enough. "Percy! What about me? I'm new here! I don't know about any of this! And your mean horse almost killed me! I feel dizzy!"

I swooned. I groaned for effect and stumbled drunkenly. Finally, I slid to the floor, gracefully, of course. No one was there to catch me. Instead, I heard loud laughter at my Oscar-winning performance.

I got up angrily. "Percy! Drop that ugly girl and get your butt over here!"

Percy was at my side with a sword in an instant. "What did you call her?" He held his sword menacingly.

"I just called her ugly! Me and you were obviously meant to be together! I mean, I even touched your six-pack!"

"You did WHAT?" A girl voice shrieked. Annabeth. "Percy, give me your sword."

"Ummm... Annabeth... I don't think..."

"Give... it... here," she growled. Percy gave her his sword and backed away.

Annabeth lunged at me, sword first. I screamed and dodged, gracefully, of course. I wasn't quick enough, and the sword caught me in the side. I screamed again. Annabeth gave a startled yell as the sword clanged against my side and broke into two pieces.

"My sword!" Percy yelled. He jumped on me and raised his fist to hit me right before I passed out from fright.

Well? What did you think? R&R! Oh yeah, check out my other fic, In My Imagination. It's a Maximum Ride fic! Also, I have an awesome sister that writes. Her pen name is DunkingSarcasm. Check her out too!

Hehe Percy has a six-pack. Mmmmmm...

Virtual ice cream sundaes to the first one that can tell me the secret of Ruby's school name. :)

TheNeonNinja