Hey. Boy Troubles will be up by Sunday. Sorry for the wait. I came up with this when I was watching Ep 200. I had heard somebody say that Mayuri had sex with Nemu to heal her. He actually blatantly denied AND disproved that theory by telling Ishida to 'get his mind out of the gutter'. this is my version of what really happened. From Mayuri's POV.


I look at Szayelaporro with slight interest. It appears the drug has worked very well. I turn to look at Nemu when I notice the Quincy boy is already doing so. I can see the gears turning in his head, working to find a way to save her. Naturally, I wish to have some fun with him.

I call out to her, watching him as he gets angry watching me call her when I obviously see how injured she is.

"Nemu! Come here! Nemu... Good grief, she sure is a handful." I say, discreetly looking back at the Quincy once again.

The boy has murder in his eyes. He obviously wishes to hurt me for saying that so calmly while she is in that position. I walk to her at a leisurely pace, just to annoy the kid further. He has already confirmed my suspicions, so I need not mess this up.

The boy... Uryu Ishida, has feelings for my daughter, Nemu.

I guess it can't be helped, as she has fallen for him as well. At least now nobody can say I'm a bad father, I love Nemu, just have a weird way of showing it. My daughter deserves happiness though. And if it means giving in to her desires and letting her court* that boy, then so be it.

I remember clearly the night I had found out about these 'feelings' of hers.


FLASHBACK (neutral POV)


Captain Mayuri Kurotsuchi lays his head on his desk in exhaustion.

"Why must I do this treacherous paperwork?" he yells out to the empty room. "It is a waste of my valuable time."

Too bad, no matter what he thinks or does, he still has paperwork to do.

A knock at the door snaps him from his self-piteous thoughts. "Who is it and what do you want?" he yells to the door.

"It is Nemu, Mayuri-sama**. I wish to speak with you." Nemu calls from the door.

Mayuri thinks about it for a little bit before allowing Nemu entrance. "What would you like, my daughter?" he asks, annoyed.

Nemu blushes slightly before telling about her problem. "I have a strange feeling ever since I met the Quincy, father. Could you please tell me what it is?" she asks, embarrassed.

Mayuri mulls over it for a second, "Well what is it you feel?" he asks slowly, surprised she'd ask him such a personal question... and a question about feelings at that.

"Well..." she starts, already thinking with a blissful look on her face. "My stomach feels as though the Hell Butterflies decided to flutter around in it whenever I even think about him, and it gets worse when I am near him. I always blush at every little thing he does when I am around. When I look into his eyes, oh I feel as if we are the only two beings for miles around." she says in a wistful voice, "I find myself wanting him at night, craving his touch. A hug, hand holding, just any physical contact at all."

"You can stop now, Nemu!" Mayuri nearly shouts. He had a faint blush staining his cheeks (Though you couldn't tell with the make-up) as he knew what his daughter was feeling. He was blushing because he remembered when he felt that way about a girl. That was before he was messed up, though.

However, as he should have been happy for his daughter falling in love with a boy, he wasn't happy it was with the Quincy. "You are in love." he told her. "However, I refuse to delve deeper into that with you, and you are forbidden to go out with the Quincy. Are we clear?" he said, tone leaving no room for argument.

"Yes, Mayuri-sama." Nemu said, eyes downcast. She left the room quietly, shutting the door on her way out.


END FLASHBACK (Back to Mayuri's POV)


I arrive at Nemu's body, lying still. "What are you planning to do?" I hear Uryu ask. Honestly, what does the boy expect me to do. I must resuscitate her.

I lean over her and start preforming the CPR. I can't imagine what this must look like to the two sitting behind me but I slowly start hearing her breathe again. She begins moaning and I can only guess that she is dreaming of the boy in her unconscious state.

Nemu gives a final scream as she wakes up. I place a hand on her chest to make sure she does not injure her self by trying to get up so fast. I lean in and whisper into her ear, "If you get up, I will let you date the Quincy when the time comes around. Not a single whoop of joy or word about this though, got it?" she nods slowly, and I let her sit up.

She has a blush on her face (I deduct the it is from the content of her dream and the fact that I will let her date the Quincy) but is frowning slightly to act normal.

"SHE RECOVERED!" the idiots scream in unison. I'm sure I see a happy glint from behind Uryu's glasses though.

"H-How? Where in your movements did you cure her?" the boy demands. I only now discover what it must have looked like from their position. It disgusts me that they would think that way, though I can't blame them being as they barely know me.

I turn to him "What? You can't even understand something that obvious and easy, scum?" I ask him.

He jumps up suddenly, screaming. It appears he isn't doing this as of his sick mind, but looking out for my daughter's well being. She will be in good hands at least. "There's no way we could!" he yells, "Just now, you did something you couldn't show the audience!" he continues.

Honestly, like I'd rape my own daughter.

Something I can't show the audience?" I say in defense, "That couldn't be. You people were just watching with your minds in the gutter."***

They both blush as they realize that, once again, I'm right... and they were thinking perversely. "Well... never mind." I say to them, "Explaining my techniques to ordinary people is just a waste of time." Especially since most people already know CPR, I say in my mind.

"That was a blatant dodge!" the Quincy says, before divulging into a coughing fit. Him and the pineapple-headed lieutenant of squad six have a small conversation about it before Uryu shouts "Who are you calling a four-eyed pervert?" and begins coughing again.

I am beginning to get a headache from their supidity. "Man, you guys sure are stupid and arrogant." I say. "You're really messing up my seasoned reasoning skills." I shake my head while saying this and they shut up.

I have Nemu dig up Szayelaporro's lab for me, watching he Quincy stare in awe at her power with an amused look on my face. Ahhh, young love. I have to explain to them the ways you set up a lab, and then watch them stare in awe at what's inside.

Later on, I decide to start repairing the two idiots, staring with Uryu to give Nemu some peace of mind. I tell her to hold him down, but he seems reluctant to accept treatment from me.

"Stop it!" he yells angrily, thrashing around to escape Nemu's grip. "Let go of me! What are you going to do to me?" he shouts in rapidly, still flailing around. "Let GO!" he pleads to Nemu, who looks down at him with slight interest. Probably wondering why he is denying treatment.

"What, you ask? Isn't that obvious?" I ask him. "I'm going to fix you." I say, pulling a needle from my coat.

"You're making a mistake!" he yells, "That's not healing, that's rebuilding!" I make a 'Tch' sound and look away. "I knew it!" he continues, "Crap! Let me go!" he starts renewing his struggle with Nemu.

"Your squawking is annoying." I complain, "You really are a lily-livered fellow. Come on, give it some thought. I'm saying I'm willing to heal your wounds for free. It's only reasonable to say a word of gratitude... regardless of how your looks or appearance end up as a result." his face is priceless right now.

"I'll do no such thing!" he shouts in response, "You mean you were planning to go as far as to change how I look?" he asks in incredulously.

Nemu holds him down and I see the mischievous glint in her eyes. "Please don't move." she tells him. She is blushing and I am at a loss of as to why until I see where the boy's face is. She put him right under her chest! Oh this is just priceless.

The boy's eyes widen, his mouth drops, and he shrieks in surprise. "Too close, too close, it's too close!" he yells, voice cracking under his nervousness.

"What is?" Nemu asks, before making a small smirk and pretty much shoving the poor boy's (did I really just think that?) face into her bosom.

"Oh!" I say, "Very good, Nemu. Suffocate him just like that." she actually continues to stay on him untile he stops struggling and falls silent.

Okay, so it seems like the boy and my daughter will end up together. Be it for better or worse, all I know is that this is going to be funny as hell along the way!


sorry, the ending seemed a bit rushed to me but I didn't know how to end this. I hope that cleared up some stuff. Actually, the part where she was suffocating him made me laugh so hard, tears came to my eyes. It was just really funny.

* Court refers to dating. I always thought of Mayuri looking at it in an older way rather than modernly.

**Mayuri-sama translates to 'Master Mayuri', which Mayuri has Nemu call him.

***That line is my proof, being in the anime, Uryu and Renji are behind Mayuri, so they only saw his back movements and heard Nemu's sounds. It would sound like they are having sex, but that line purely denied it, telling them that they are just being perverted instead of logically thinking about what he did.

Anyway, I'm not one do do this but if you can, add me to an author alert list as I will be doing stories in many different genres and fandoms that I encourage my fans to try. thank you. Don't forget to review. Bye