So, this is my first actual story. I had it in my head as a one shot, but I might get the urge to add on. The story takes place a day before the Landsmeet, and involves Layla Cousland my current PC I'm playing right now who is romancing Alistair. She finds herself conflicted with some of the choices she'll have to make and hopes Alistair can relieve her 'tension'. :-9 Be warned, there is a mature, yet kinda sweet, love scene. If there are any errors; grammar or otherwise, please let me know. I feel like I've have gone over it like a hundred times. But, I know how the littlest things can sneak up on you. ^_^

My Love

Conflicted

Layla Cousland walked out of Wade's Emporium and sighed wondering about the days to come. She was so lost in thought that she didn't notice the red head swiftly walking up to her.
"Found you!" Leliana proudly exclaimed as she took Layla's arm and linked it with her own.
"Oh! I'm sorry were you looking for me?"
"Not really, but I found the most wonderful pair of shoes you just have to see them!" Leliana led her to the Wonders of Thedas shop. To their surprise, Alistair was walking out, a small box in his hands.
"Well, what do we have here?" Leliana queried, trying to get a better look at what was in his hands. Alistair quickly pulled his hands behind his back. "Oh, it's nothing, nothing in particular for no one in particular."
"Really, and this 'no one' wouldn't happen to be someone we'd know?"
He blushed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Oh my, look at the time. I should really get going. So, I guess I'll see you back at the estate." He said nervously as he turned and walked (very swiftly) away.
Leliana giggled at the sight. "It seems like you and Alistair have been getting awfully close." Leliana said, nudging Layla's side. She couldn't help but giggle. They were like two gossiping schoolgirls. "So, just how close have you gotten?" Leliana asked raising a brow. Layla's eyes widened. "Leliana, that's hardly any of your business!" She gave her a playful shove in which Leliana grabbed her by the wrists and pulled her in for a hug. "All right let us go. We probably shouldn't keep Eamon waiting."

What was so wrong with waiting? Was I to give myself to him the moment we confessed our feelings to each other?
 She thought as they were walking through the Market Place. Besides, it's not as if they haven't done other things. Maybe a few sessions of heavy petting here and there either in their tent or stolen moments whenever they had the chance to stop at an inn. Nevertheless, as far as the actual act, they were hopeless. She had expressed her feelings of wanting him but he wasn't ready. Then he expressed his feelings towards her, but she became apprehensive. They were both new to the idea of spending the night with someone. At least Alistair was.
Layla's memory trailed off to Iona, a lady in waiting to her mother's close friend Landra. They never really met but Layla found her captivating, and to her surprise, the feeling was mutual. It was something on a whim. Her spontaneous side came out; which looking back on it, was a bit of a shock. She never imagined sleeping with someone she barely knew, much less another woman. However, it was a beautiful experience. She had learned quite a bit that night. One last night of bliss before...

A sob almost came to her as she remembered that terrible night. Then her hands balled into fists as she remembered Howe's twisted face as she gutted him. Howe was dead, her loved ones avenged, only the Landsmeet awaited. A huge responsibility loomed over her, which made her uneasy the closer she got to the Arl's estate.

After everything finally settled at the estate, Eamon called for a dinner. It was nothing fancy, just a quiet dinner in order to try to calm nerves about events to come. The whole event bored Layla to no end. She was just always indifferent when it came to noble dinners. If it was not for Zevran and Oghren's 'lively' dinner conversations, she may have dozed off in her soup. It was also amusing to see Sten's cookie fascination come to life when dessert came around. In addition, Anora declined the dinner invite, so that made things more complaisant.

It was the view in front of her that made her night. Alistair was sitting across from her, occasionally shooting a charming glance her way. She played along, running a foot up his leg until his knee would spike up and hit the table. He would blush; say that he bit his cheek or that the food was a little too hot and chuckle nervously. No one really paid any mind to it since it was Alistair. Yet, it was always fun making him get flustered.
Everyone retired to his or her rooms after dinner. Eamon had stolen away Alistair. Catching up for lost time, she didn't want to interrupt, so she could not properly bid him goodnight. Understanding, but disappointed, she retired to her chambers.

When she walked in, she noticed there was a bath waiting for her in her room.
Thank the Maker!
Layla wasted no time getting out of her stifling noble clothes. She walked over to the tub, pulling up her long hair in a loose bun. Then she gingerly sunk herself in the hot water letting out a satisfied groan as her body descended.
Oh, this must be what heaven feels like!
There was an intoxicating hint of lavender and rose oil in the water. The smell of the oils somehow reminded her of Alistair, and his gift. She still had the rose he had given her months before. She tried to keep it with her at times, but, now it was so very withered and delicate, she only kept in her diary. Thinking of Alistair she softly smiled, her hand started to slowly graze her neck, tracing a line between her breasts, slowly moving past her belly button, until...
All of a sudden there was a knock at the door.
"Andraste's flaming ass!" She cursed under her breath. "Who is it?"
Leliana's voice came from behind the door.
"Are you decent? The maid informed me she had a bath drawn, but a package came for you."
Layla let out a grumble as she exited the tub and put on a robe.
"Come in" With an annoyed tone in her voice, she plopped onto the foot of her bed.
"I'm sorry to barge in so abruptly but... Are you all right? You look flushed."
Layla started to blush a little. "Oh, it's just the bath. It was uh, hotter than I expected." She let out a nervous laugh, trying to avoid Leliana's inquisitive eyes.
"So, something came for me? Why so late?"
"Oh, this came from Wade's Emporium. You placed an order earlier, yes? It seemed very important."
Layla looked at the parcel and smiled thinking back on earlier that day.

I walked into the shop, uneasy about the welcome I would probably receive. Then he saw me. Harren took one glance at me and rolled his eyes with disgust. I put my hands in defense. "I have no scales. I swear it! I just want to ask a small favor."
His mouth was aghast. "A favor? You and troublesome scales have done you enough favors."
"Hey, if it were not for those scales you wouldn't be so financially fortunate now. Besides, it's not challenging. It'll probably take less than a day at most"
Wade walked over in a huff. "Do not patronize my skill dear lady. What is it you need?"
I reach in my pack and show him the material.
"What is this? It feels as heavenly as silk but has the look and weight of…"
"Leather; it's Orlesian. My father… (I pause and try my best to keep my voice from cracking) my father gave it to me its part of an armor set I used to wear. A favorite in fact, so I would hate to throw it away if it could still be useful"
He shrugged. "Well there's not enough material to make a descent full set of armor"
"I know. I had something else in mind" I flash him a coy smile as I tell him my plan.

She opened the package and saw her project come to life.
"Ooo!" Leliana cooed, wide eyed, admiring the attire "Is this Orlesian velvet?"
Layla nodded, running her fingers on the fabric.
It seemed like a set of small clothes, but these were much different. The top was like a corset, with laces that tied up the front. The bottoms were small shorts with laces on the sides. She giggled at a comment Wade had on the design:
"Well, far be it from me to judge, but if you want to run around in little boy shorts so be it"

'Boy shorts' that does have an interesting ring to it.
She casually shrugged off the thought as she examined her garment.
"So, are you going to try it on or what? I want to see!" Leliana demanded.
"Fine, fine" Layla went behind a screen to change. She was quite surprised how well it fit. It hugged the curves in her body, and accentuated a few as well. It was so smooth, like a second skin. She also saw some boning in the front and sides that she didn't notice before.
"Maker's breath. Can you even breathe in that thing?"
Layla laughed. "It is a bit snug, but I can breathe just fine."
"So, this can't be a walking around outfit, is this for some 'special' occasion?" Leliana smirked.
"Oh, stop it. I just got tired of wearing the same thing under my armor, or to bed. It seems like everyone and their mother has the same kind of small clothes. Sure, you can get them in different colors, but I wanted something more."
Leliana was not truly convinced, but she would not nudge further. "Well, for whatever the reason it's exquisite!" She gave Layla a hug and walked towards the door, "Have a pleasant night, my friend." She smiled, closing the door behind her. Layla stood confused for an instant.
What was that about? Oh Maker! She doesn't think this is for…
She shook her head, shaking off what her friend might be thinking, and got ready for bed.

Layla could not sleep. It was all too much. Landsmeet, Loghain, the Blight. Everything was running through her head. She had to talk to someone; try to get all these emotions off her chest. But, who? Morrigan, Shale or Sten would not want be bothered. Oghren was too drunk. Leliana would just tell her stories to try to make her feel better. Wynne would lecture her, and Zevran would try to give her a 'massage'. It seemed the only other person that could comfort her was Alistair. Also, was he even still awake?

Well, I would rather go and try then be laying in insomnia.
 She got out of bed. There was hardly any time to search and put on an outfit so she just put on her cloak, and quietly exited her room. Trying her best to blend in with the shadows, the rogue made her advance to Alistair's bedroom door. Maker help her. She had fought darkspawn, abominations, and dragons. Yet, for some reason, she could not find the courage to knock on his door. She hesitated two times before she finally decided to give up. The door defeated her. As she turned to leave, she heard the doorknob turn. She looked back it began to open. It was Alistair standing in the doorway. He had a confused look on his face for a moment before it faded into a smile seeing who it was at his door.
"Are you all right? I was just about to come see you, to uh, tell you goodnight."

Was this a divine intervention setting something in motion? Was some entity doing what she could not?
She was lost in thought until she noticed what he was wearing, or not wearing actually. He was shirtless, wearing a pair of common brown trousers. She gazed at the contours of his muscular shape, and the scars that healed but remnants remained. Certain things that she never truly realized until this moment. She stared at him with wondrous longing and could not say a word.
A more concerned look came about Alistair's face as he walked towards her, and placed his hands on her shoulders.
"Layla?"
She flinched slightly at his touch that finally shook her from her daze.
"I'm sorry wha...?" she started then stopped, "I-I mean...N-no I mean yes I'm fine. I was actually coming here to tell you something. Well, ask you something... Maybe. I'm sorry, could I come in for a moment?" She bit her lip and blushed, a bit embarrassed,
Maker's breath I'm starting to sound like Alistair!
He tilted his head slightly, much like a puzzled dog.
I thought I was awkward.
"Of course, come in. You're sure you're O.K?" she smiled and nodded as Alistair lead her in.

They sat on the edge of his bed for a moment -what seemed like forever- until Layla finally broke the silence.
"I'm nervous about tomorrow." She sighed, put her arms up and fell back on the bed.
Alistair looked down at her, scanning the vision on his bed. Her long loosely curled ebony hair fanned out around her. The candles in the room played off her golden brown skin. Dark green eyes dancing about looked to be deep in thought. She was biting her lower lip, those soft dark pink petals. His eyes traced along the contours of her body through her cloak. She had the perfect hourglass figure. Then he noticed something,
Maker! Is she only wearing her small clothes?
Alistair felt a knot growing in the pit of his stomach (among other things) He took his gaze from her and coughed nervously.
"What is it?"
"This whole 'picking a side' thing, it makes me uneasy" She frowned and put her hands on her stomach.
"What's so difficult? We present the evidence, get the people on our side, execute Loghain, and announce Anora queen; Easy as that." He smiled
She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, no pressure at all" She moved onto her side facing him, propping herself on her elbow.
"So, you really don't think you're a good enough candidate?"
His eyes widened and he looked at her, but she would not return his gaze. He sighed and fell back on the bed,
"We both know I'm not king material. I know nothing about being a king"
"You could learn."
"And just why would I want to do that?" He started to sound more agitated at the subject.

She straightened up from the bed eyes fixated on Alistair. "You really don't think you would be equal or better at running the country then Anora?"
Yet another exasperated sigh. "It's not that. It's just she has been running the country for years now. She desires it more then I, how can I compare to that?"
She moved next to him on the bed so that their shoulders touched, and took his hand, interlacing his fingers with hers.
"Alistair, you have a good heart and you know how to fight for what is just." She turned over so she was facing him, and placed her hand on his chest,
"More importantly, you'll be a king for the people. You have compassion for the people around you that some rulers do not have. I think, in time, you would make a fine king."
Staring at the ceiling, Alistair sighed, placed his hand on hers and gave it a gentle squeeze.
She could see the tension on his face. "O.k. I'm sorry. I should not have brought it up. Let's talk about something else."
"I can't see how I'll be able to"

Layla shuffled herself off the bed and moved towards the vanity.
Well, there's really no turning back now. Might as well go for it
She turned towards him, slowly taking off her cloak, revealing her outfit.
"Then may I offer a suggestion"
Alistair sat up from the bed, marveled at the vision before him. He got up and walked towards her taking in her beauty. He put a hand on her cheek and leaned closer to her as she sat back on the vanity.
"Maker's breath." He whispered, "You are a remarkable woman"
She smiled, running her fingers through his hair,
"And you are a wonderful man."
She pulled him in closer and kissed him. Like lightening, their desire ignited as they kissed. She wrapped her arms around him as he started to kiss her neck.
"Alistair, I want you." She purred.
He was taken aback for a moment, "Are you sure…I-I mean..."
She placed her hands on his cheeks, and looked him straight in the eyes.
"Alistair, I love you. I can't think of anyone else I want to be with right now, or ever."
His hazel eyes lovingly glazed over "Layla…I…You don't realize how that makes me feel."
She wrapped her legs round him and grinded herself into him feeling his growing heat between her thighs. He gritted his teeth and made a hissing sound, which caused her to giggle.
"I think I'm starting to realize." She raised her brow and smiled. He gave her waist a squeeze and bent down until his lips brushed against hers.
"Oh, you really have no idea."

He kissed her, softly at first then with more passion. His hands moved from her hips to her thighs and a sigh escaped her mouth. He grabbed her thighs, picked her up, and carried her towards the bed. He laid her down and started to work away the confining laces of her bodice and shorts. He sighed as the task was done, enabling him to gaze upon her splendor. He gently started to kiss her neck, making a trail to her collarbone. She mewed in pleasure and rolled her head back. The further he descended the more intense were his kisses.
His hand lightly traced up the curve of her thigh causing her to shiver. His hand stopped once he felt the warmth of her mound, and she gasped when he rested his hand there. His fingers moved inquisitively as if surveying the area, all the while noting the sighs and moans that his partner was making.
Layla's head rolled from side to side, breathing heavily upon the exquisite torture. She moaned when he finally slipped a finger into the opening of her sex
"Alistair!" Layla hissed through clenched teeth.

His finger delicately trailed back and forth from her entrance, while Layla's hand dug into his neck, the other clawing at the bed covers. Feeling bold, Alistair ran his thumb over the tiny blossom between her legs, "Maker!" She arched her back and moaned, presenting her ample bosom to him. He leaned down and gently kissed the bud of her nipple making her wimpier in ecstasy.

Franticly, Layla worked at the ties on his trousers until they were loose enough to slip in her slender hand. She tenderly ran her hands down his manhood causing him to let out a deep groan as he kissed her. With their cloths discarded in a heap on the floor there was no turning back.

They kissed passionately as she guided him into her. He pushed himself further, tentatively approaching her limit. Alistair looked at her apprehensive, but she nodded, permitting him to continue. She took in a deep breath and tightly grasped at Alistair's shoulders as he pushed his way past her barrier. A groan mixed with pain and pleasure escaped her lips once he slowly pulled out. He tenderly ran his fingers through her hair.
"I'm sorry, did I hurt you? Are you in much pain?"
A single tear ran down her face and he gently kissed it away.
She smiled and gazed up at him. "Oh no love, I'm fine. I'm just happy to share this moment with you."

He wrapped an arm around her and rolled her on top of him. She eased herself slowly, feeling every inch of him. Alistair squeezed her thighs and let out a moan as he gently bucked beneath her. She interlaced her fingers with his as she made small circles with her hips. Alistair mimicked her action and placed a hand upon her breast giving it a gentle squeeze. She bit her lip as another sigh of pleasure escaped her.
Maker, this must be what Heaven feels like!
Their movements quickened as they were reaching their breaking point.
"Layla... I'm..."
"Alistair!"
She pulled him towards her, and they kissed deeply as they both reached their crescendo.

They collapsed back on the bed, hearts racing, chests heaving. Layla rested her head in the crook of Alistair's shoulder. Her hand was lying on his chest while his was stroking the sweat soaked hair off her forehead. They lay there, gazing at each other, sharing the occasional giggle from experience they just shared. Layla broke her stare and looked off into the room.
"I should probably go, huh?"
"What, w-why?" There was a mix of confusion and hurt in Alistair's voice.
"Well, this is your uncle's estate. It probably wouldn't be proper if the Warden was seen leaving the possible King of Ferelden's bedchambers. Think of the scandal!" Her sarcasm was only hiding disappointment.
"Layla!"
"What, I said 'possible'."
"Not that." He sighed. "Look, I love you, and I don't care who knows or who sees." Layla smiled and snuggled closer to him as he pulled the bed covers over them both. "Besides, what we shared here tonight... It would just mean a lot to me if you would stay... Layla?" He glanced down to see her already asleep. He smiled and wrapped his arms around her, and started thinking on what she had said earlier.

Maybe being king wouldn't be so bad he thought, placing a gentle kiss on Layla's forehead as he drifted off to sleep. Somehow, it didn't seem so bad anymore.