This was an idea that came to me from when me and the guys were trapped inside for ten days (it was a bet for fifty bucks), and all we did was play board games. There will be more to this, rest assured. God has not stopped his punishment for he wants KFC. And he wants it now, bitch.
Chapter 1: Monopoly
The Titans were bored (this introduction to a story has been used by virtually every fanfic writer. Aint it sad?) . They had defeated all the villains, done all their chores, cured cancer, discovered the connection between Jesus and all his current relatives, ended all wars and feuds, had sex with John (just the girls), polished Punky's new bald head, and they've even discovered where the remote was; up my ass the entire time.
"Gee, it seems we've done everything." said BB.
"Don't say 'Gee', it makes you sound like a pansy." commanded Raven.
"Yes, master." obeyed BB.
"How about we…um…eat…food?" suggested Starfire, really struggling to come up with something.
Cyborg belched. "I ate all the food already. And the t-car, and a cactus, and a Mexican hat, and Gizmo."
"Wow. You're an obese slob." stated Robin.
"That's what yo' momma said last night!" laughed Cy.
"Oh snap! No heeeee Diiiiiii'iiiintttt!" yelled BB as he high-fived Cy.
"My mom is dead!" said Robin before he broke into tears.
"She said that too! Damn! I am the burn master!" cheered Cyborg.
"Robin, will my breasts comfort you?" asked Star as she…comforted…Robin.
"Yes, ma'am!" said Robin.
WHAM!
BAM!
"Thank you, Ma'am!"
"Oh, no, thank you!" said Starfire, dizzily.
"Cyborg, why are you such an abusive prick?" asked Raven.
"That's what yo' momma said!"
"You're small, limp, and unsatisfying." said BB, grinning evilly. EVIL! EEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLL!
"That's what YOUR momma said! ……Wait. Let me think about that for a second…"
"I HAVE AN IDEA!" yelled Aqualad as he ran in with a cardboard box under his arm.
"That's what yo'-" Cy is cut off as BB rams a coffee table into his gut.
"Let's play this fun, exciting and totally new game!" he suggested as he jumped up and down really quickly.
"….Aqualad, are you….okay?" asked Robin as he stepped over the gasping Cyborg and towards his spastic comrade.
"Huh? Oh, yeah. I just tried some speed and now I can smell colors and everything is so…explosive! I NEED TO LICK IT!"
He ran over to Raven, but Raven had already guessed what he was gonna do so she used her powers to knock him out. BB picked up the monopoly box.
"Well, at least we have something to do."
They all agreed and started playing.
FIVE MINUTES LATER…
"Please, Ray, just five bucks. I wanna buy some gum."
"Fuck you, BB, I'll give you five bucks for Water Works."
"Ten."
"Seven fifty." debated Raven.
"Ray, there is no half-dollar bill." Cyborg pointed out.
"Tough shit. Tear a dollar in half."
"You can't do that! It's like buying the Chance spot." said Robin, "Which is totally unfair, Cy." He glares at where Cy has 222 mansions on his illegal turf.
"Hey, we let you get away with saving money buy hiring illegal immigrants and child labor, so shut the hell up. Whose turn is it? BB, your turn. Go before I buy out your company and have sex with your wife."
"I don't have a wife."
"BECAUSE SHE'S MINE! SNAP! ….Now go."
BB's piece is at the beginning of the side of the board that is completely controlled by Robin. That boy had everything! Shopping malls, industrial parks, condominiums, and even a Disney Land.
"Oh shizzie…" said BB.
"Your ass is mine! Get ready to beg for welfare." gloated Robin.
"Please, God, give me a big one…"
BB rolls.
"Hot shit! A twelve! Thank you, God! JUMP! JUMP! JUMP! JUMP! JUMP! JUMP! JUMP! JUMP! JUMP! JUMP! JUMP! JUMP! Fuck you, Robin! I aint even stopping on your side! Fuck you and Boardwalk, too!"
"That's all right, BB, you'll be back again."
"Hell, no. I'm outsourcing my companies to the Scrabble board. I'll avoid taxes and shit."
Raven was up next.
"Who am I? Am I the horse? No, that's Star. The miniature bust of Chopin? No, too stupid. Oh wait, I'm the hat! Kick ass! Hey, who's the ship?"
"I am. Don't even touch the ship." said Aqualad. He was dressed like Napoleon and was eating a banana.
Raven rolls and lands on chance.
She picks up the card, "Two thousand dollars for being an asshole. Dammit."
The Monopoly guy in the middle of the board comes to life and runs towards Raven's money. He grabs it and runs away while yelling in a high-pitched, squeaky voice, "Money! Money! Money! Money!"
"Sweet Jesus! The game is possessed!" cried Cyborg.
"I'll use the holy handgun!" yelled Robin as he shot the board game with a golden pistol, scattering the pieces and killing the demon.
"Well…now how will we know who wins?" asked Star.
"I win. I hired the thimble to kill all your corporate asses." said BB.
Monopoly: The game of corporate evil.
Review and tell me what Game I should do next. If your suggestion doesn't suck, I'll use it. But then again, I'm pretty open to stupid ideas.