Title: This Is Gotta Be A Good Life.
Synopsis: Sometimes there is bullshit that don't work now.
Author: missadie.
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Notes: I was inspired by the song "Good Life" by One Republic. I hope you enjoy, thanks for reading. (:
Hopelessly
I'm taking a mental picture of you now
'Cause hopelessly
The hope is we have so much to feel good about
It was raining. Of course, it was raining. It was always raining. This was Seattle. She couldn't go anywhere without the moisture dampening her hair or face feeling moist. So, why was she surprised at the rain? Well, maybe because she felt so damn depressed inside. Swallowing, Meredith pushed the stroller harder down the street. It was times like this that she wanted a car. She wanted some sort of normal mother transportation. Then again, she wasn't normal. She lived in a city. A city that rained more than normal, and she was running around with an infant that seemed to like water. Go figure.
Glancing down the street, Meredith began to push the stroller over the crosswalk when she watched the sippy cup fly. She froze and considered going to pick it up. Peering at her watch, she knew that she was already running late. Zola had taken a while longer to get out of bed. Then, she had refused to eat her bottle. Cristina was gone when she made it downstairs. Sighing deeply, Meredith hurried to where the cup lie and grabbed it. She tossed it to the undercarriage of the stroller and hurried across the street. She was officially jay-walking, but Meredith would like to see someone stop her. Hurrying down the busy street, she dodged and swirled between the citizens of the city. Life always seemed so much easier when it was just her. Now, it seemed like the world was in her way.
Panting, Meredith slowed as she pushed up the hill of the hospital. When did it suddenly become so steep? Her legs were already tired and arms burned with the strain of the stroller. Pushing into the Pit, Meredith felt a hand grasp her biceps. Words were uttered and she growled in response. They were explaining that she couldn't enter the ambulance entrance. Whipping back the hood of her rain coat, her hair slick to her face, Meredith pushed it back. The ponytail had done little to control her hair today. It was cool outside, but she was sweating. Glaring at the intern, Meredith pushed the stroller through the emergency room. She parked it behind the nurses' station. It was going to be a long day.
"Grey..." Miranda Bailey carried a stack of clipboards so high they covered her face. She attempted to balance them. Her full arms shook with the strain of the thick clipboards. "Grey," she spoke again and her voice rose with annoyance. A heavy huff stole from behind the stack of clipboards and they suddenly clattered atop the nurses' station. Raising a brow, she watched as Meredith awkwardly changed the diaper. She used two fingers and fiddled with the straps timidly. The corner of Bailey's mouth twitched upward and she watched. Suddenly, she burst out and scurried around the counter, "What are you doing to that child, Grey?"
Surprised at the distinct voice, her head snapped up. She tossed the dirty diaper into the metal pale. Meredith wished that you could just pull infant diapers on. Now, they had to make them complicated. Finishing, she padded the tabs lightly and pulled her hands backwards. "Changing Zola," Meredith said promptly and buttoned the onesie. She tugged the little girl's jean pants up her pudgy legs as Bailey watched amused. The days hadn't gotten better and Meredith grew more bitter with each day.
Derek had disappeared.
Squaring her jaw, Meredith ground her teeth and brushed Zola's hair tentatively. The gritty curls had grown into soft twirled locks. Hugging the baby to her chest, a nurse passed and stopped at the sight of Zola. Immediately, she began to coo over the sweet infant. Meredith chewed her lower lip and eyes drifted to Bailey who had begun to peer and scribble at charts.
"Could you take her to the nursery?" Meredith asked the nurse with a babble of halfway strung words.
The nurse shot her a ludicrous look and Meredith half-heartedly smiled, "Please. I am late."
She scoffed and took the baby into her arms, "Just this once."
Meredith let out a sigh of relief, "Thank you." She pushed the stroller forward and stopped. Spying a storage closet, she shoved it inside and pulled the door shut. No one would care. Snapping it into its stowaway position, Meredith hurried tugged off her rain jacket and tossed it atop the carriage. She grabbed her lab coat and pulled it on. Hurrying out of the storage closet, she combed her fingers through her damp hair. Moving quickly, she met Bailey at the desk and grabbed a chart. Her eyes drifted over the symptoms, name, and general procedure of the patient. Nodding curtly, more to herself than Bailey, she made her way over to the patient.
"Grey... Meredith," Meredith stopped as Bailey called her but didn't turn around, "Good job."
The corner of her lips twitched at the praise, she needed it. She needed someone - anyone - to acknowledge that she was trying. She was trying to be a suitable Mother. Meredith wasn't sure yet. She doubted herself every moment, but she kept going. Meredith hadn't much of a choice. Taking a deep breath, Meredith whipped back the curtain and smiled tightly at the patient. Her eyes fell to the name again and widened slightly. She glanced at the patient and eyes narrowed. Her lips twisted into a grim line and Meredith took a moment to stare.
Grabbing a stool from behind her, she took a seat. The woman's face was turned away from her. Her knees were tucked to her chest. She appeared pensive, lost within herself and Meredith suspected that she was intoxicated. Despite, her being turned away, Meredith could see the dark bruises which marred her face. A jaded cut slid across a brow. Meredith craned her neck and attempted to see, but the woman just hid her face deeper into the pillow.
Clicking her pen, Meredith scribbled notes on the medical file and the woman finally faced. Her lips were pinched and despite her swollen eye, Meredith knew that she was glaring. Her steel blue eyes reminded Meredith of the ones that she used to miss. Eyes that she had grown to miss less and less with each day that passed. Raising her head, Meredith met the hard gaze. A brow rose and their eyes met in a deep staring match. She bit down hard and watched, waited for the young woman to speak, Meredith cleared her throat reflexively.
The curtain whooshed back further and their privacy was more disturbed. Cristina stood, a clipboard tucked under her arm, mouth slightly agape and she murmured a swear, "Shit."
She owed Karev fifty bucks.
The woman raised her head and glared at Cristina as well, "Yang..." She replied pointedly and her voice was crisp, icy - dead. She swallowed loudly and noticeably.
"Little Shepherd." Cristina replied with a nod of her head. Her eyes never strayed from the various bruises and large gash on her face. Her hand hung limply, but she rested on it. She was surely in shock. It was broken - badly. Cristina
could assess that from a simple glance. And her shoulder was popped out of place. She had to be in pain. Her eye was swollen shut, why wasn't Meredith doing anything? This was a surgical case. She could have an aneurism. "Mer..." Cristina nudged her shoulder.
"What are you doing here?" Meredith asked coldly and she snapped the clipboard shut.
"Heard I had a niece and decided to come see her."
Meredith froze and stood up. She pushed the clipboard into Cristina's hands and stole the one from under her arms, "Amelia Shepherd, meet your new physician, Cristina Yang." She moved behind the curtain and pulled it angrily shut again.
Releasing a harsh breath, Meredith opened the clipboard and stole down the hall. It was going to be a long day.