"It's such a nice day, Luigi," observed Mario. He looked out a castle casement to the green fields of the Mushroom Kingdom bathed in golden sunlight and sighed.
"Too nice a day to be stuck inside fixing these old pipes," agreed his younger brother, replacing a wrench into his toolbox. "I know; let's have a picnic lunch! You can invite Princess Peach, too!"
"Yes, she would make it a lot more fun," agreed Mario, although, surprisingly enough, he said it unenthusiastically. "Say, Luigi, have you noticed lately that the Princess isn't, how can I put this, quite as nice as she used to be?"
"What do you mean, Mario?"
"It's just that she…."
"What are you two lazy moochers doing standing around talking when there's work to be done?" yelled the fair ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom as she majestically strode into the room. She took a deep breath, ran a hand through her yellow hair, and glared expectantly at the two brothers who shuffled their feet nervously and cleared their throats.
"We were just taking a break, Princess," explained Mario, when the silence had gone on entirely too long for comfort.
"And the weather is so enticing," added Luigi, "so we thought we'd go outside and…."
"Collect me some coins? Yes, that's a great idea," she agreed, suddenly looking pleased. "Well, what are you waiting for? Go on, get going! Those coins won't collect themselves, you know!"
"Right away, Princess," said Mario, hurrying off, with Luigi close behind.
"And while you're gone I'll inspect the castle basement and see if you've been repairing the pipes properly!" she shouted after them. "I'm a princess and I shouldn't have to put up with substandard living conditions!"
"I think I see what you mean, Mario," announced Luigi, once they were safely away.
"I don't understand it," mused Mario, stroking his large moustache thoughtfully. "It all started that day she had the appointment with her new hairdresser."
"You mean, when she went from being a redhead to a blonde?" asked Luigi anxiously. "But, changing the color of her hair wouldn't make her act any differently. Wouldn't it?"
"No, that must just be a coincidence," declared Mario. "Still, something's not right. Maybe the stress of ruling a kingdom while getting kidnapped all the time is proving a bit much. I know! We need to cheer her up. She said she was going to the basement, so, while she's busy down there, let's go up to her room and decorate it for a surprise party! That should be just the thing she needs. She'll unwind and be back to her old self again!"
"But what sort of party should we throw her?" asked Luigi, frowning. "It's not her birthday, Mario!"
"We can have a Thank You Party," decided Mario, after a moment of thought.
"Thank you for what?" demanded Luigi.
"Oh, you know, for her being such a good ruler."
"But that's just the point," disputed Luigi, "as you were saying, she hasn't been a good ruler. She used to be, but lately she's been very mean. Remember how she suddenly raised the renewal fees on our plumbers' licenses to double the old amount?"
"I'm telling you, it's just stress," insisted Mario stubbornly. "Come on, Luigi, let's hurry back to the castle. We can bake her a cake in the kitchen. She's always making me one, so this will be a nice switch. Then we can set things up for the party; we can play Pin the Stem on the Mushroom and have a Bowser piñata filled with candy and all kinds of other fun things. This is going to be so exciting!"
"Mario, I'm not too sure about this," said Luigi. The two brothers grunted as they staggered while carrying a broad, silver platter. On the platter lay a large cake (peach flavored, of course), slathered in creamy white icing and decorated with pink hearts and mushrooms. They looked around the Princess's bedroom, but, unable to find any other place large enough, they finally placed it carefully on the crisp, cerise covers of her bed. "Peach said something very important that day after the hairdresser finished with her. Don't you remember?"
"That gentlemen prefer blondes?" suggested Mario.
"No, that we were never, ever, under any circumstances whatsoever, with positively no exceptions, to go into her bedroom, no matter what!"
"I'm sure she didn't mean a fun party like this, though," shrugged Mario.
"Having a party is an okay idea, I guess," said Luigi dubiously, "but I don't see why we have to have it in her bedroom. Besides, there's not much space for everything. Let's get that cake out of here and move everything somewhere else!"
"Luigi, stop worrying! It'll be fine. Now, to hammer this poster to the wall… Luigi! Did you hear that?"
"I heard something," shuddered Luigi. "It sounded like a moan. Maybe it's a ghost! Peach's room is haunted; that's why we weren't supposed to come up here!"
"I don't think it's a ghost," said Mario. "Someone's in here, though, besides us. Hey, you, hiding behind the dressing partition, come out so we can see you!"
The only answer was another quiet moan.
"That's it! I'm going to have a look!" declared Mario.
"No, don't!"
Mario ignored him and walked around. "What's this?" he called out. "Princess Peach is back here, bound and gagged!"
"And her hair is back to red again," observed Luigi, who had reluctantly followed him.
"And she's only wearing her undergarments!"
"Mpfff!" called out Princess Peach, perhaps suggesting that the two heroes could discuss her predicament after they untied her. She was indeed only wearing her underclothing, although these were extensive enough to cover her more than adequately and spare her any embarrassment. The two brothers blushed just the same, though.
She sat on the soft, rosé rug, with her hands tied behind her back. Raspberry-colored ropes tied her ankles to a dresser leg. Shiny, salmon tape sealed her lips shut. She wiggled expectantly, and then seeing the brothers were still staring at her, went "Mpfff!" once again.
They jumped to action, finally! In mere seconds, they had her untied and standing on her feet. They hurried back around the divider as Peach slipped into a gown, opened a dresser drawer, and selected a crown. She joined the brothers again and surprised Mario with a sudden kiss.
"Princess, what happened?" asked Mario when he could finally speak again. "Was it King Koopa? But no, he wouldn't just leave you in your bedroom; he would have carried you away!"
"It was my new hairdresser," she explained simply. "I guess she wanted to see what it would be like to be a princess. But, couldn't you tell she wasn't the same person?"
"Er, well…" stuttered Mario.
"We're just glad to have our real princess back!" declared Luigi, deciding to change the subject.
"We have to do something about that fake, though," fumed Mario. "Who does she think she is, tricking us like that? And I know just what to do, too!"
"Mpfff!" screamed the hairdresser. She still wore Princess Peach's clothing and one of her many crowns. She sat on a toadstool, with her hands bound together in front of her and her legs tied together with ropes that crisscrossed repeatedly around the long hem of her skirt. The same salmon tape that had gagged the Princess now kept her (relatively) quiet, which was just as well, judging from the poisonous looks that accompanied her incoherent words.
"Hey, Luigi, where's that sign?" asked Mario.
"Right here!" announced Luigi, holding up a wooden board painted in large, coral letters:
Hey, King Koopa! You want to kidnap her so bad? Well, here she is!
Mario hammered the sign into place, angling it so that a large arrow at the end of the writing pointed directly at the hairdresser. "There! If we couldn't tell she was an imposter, neither should King Koopa!"
"Oh, dear," said Princess Peach, genuine concern written softly on her gentle features. "I know some very bad things have been done, but don't you think this is all just a bit too much?"
"I'm sorry, Princess, but I would say this is proper poetic justice!" stated Luigi firmly.
"Exactly!" agreed Mario heartily. "This punishment is exactly what King Koopa deserves!"