A/N: I am proud to present this new series of one-shots with the prompt for each one being one of the items used to diagnose psychopathy. There are two factors: aggressive narcissism and socially deviant lifestyle and 20 items, 18 of which fit under these two factors. The remaining two are uncategorised. First up...
FACTOR I, ITEM I: GLIBNESS/ SUPERFICIAL CHARM
Stacy: God, you're an idiot.
House: I think I'm more of a jerk.
Stacy: I'm not being glib.
They met at the Annual Princeton Lawyers vs Doctors Paintball Tournament.
House poked his head out from behind a tree and suddenly found himself assaulted with little blobs of red paint. His mask was completely covered. He shot wildly in the direction of his attacker, but stopped when he heard a shout from his left.
"Over here, idiot!" He pulled off his mask to see a woman grinning at him, her customised dual paintball pistols slung low in a holster by her side.
"And they say doctors are meant to be smart." She tugged off her own mask to reveal shoulder length dark hair surrounding an angular face.
"Yeah, well," he groused. "Whoever has the red paintballs always wins."
"The doctors didn't win last year. You had the red balls then," she told him.
"Fluke," he said. "This year it's blue balls all round, anyway."
She looked at him, not sure whether he was being serious.
"Oh. Wait. Um... that came out wrong."
She laughed. "With blue balls I can see why." The tips of House's ears went red. This woman was pretty. And brunette. The brunettes always did it for him. He hoped he didn't look too foolish.
She saved him from his embarrassment.
"I'm Stacy. Constitutional lawyer."
"Greg. Nephrologist and the go-to guy for infectious disease."
They shook hands.
"So," she said. "wanna grab a drink?"
And there was the beginning of their relationship. A chance encounter and some swift incincerities. The very definition of glib.