SOMETHING CRAZY

A REALIZATION

I like the way you're everything I ever wanted

Lily Evans smiled as she looked at the tall, thin, grinning boy with the black hair who was sitting just a few feet away on the grass. James Potter. She'd never really thought about it before last year, but he was really quite handsome. Lily decided that it was something in the way he stood. He would really be just average with dark, ruffled hair and those hazel eyes, but he held himself confidently, like he knew what he was doing and didn't care what anyone else thought. Confidence that Lily had once mistaken for arrogance.

Lily's friend Mary poked her shoulder. "Lily, earth to Lily. Come back from planet James, please. I need help with my Charms essay. I've no idea how we're supposed to finish three and a half feet of parchment on the theory of a fire charm, honestly. Professor Gragger is mad."

Lily smiled. "I was NOT thinking about James, Mary! Well, have you written about the invention of the fire charm? What about—"

"Or maybe the pronunciation?" a voice came from behind the two lounging girls, a boy's voice. Lily whirled her head around. James Potter stood behind her and Lily rolled her eyes. He must have been quiet, she thought. She remembered that he had recently turned seventeen, a couple months after herself. She also noticed that about five feet away, his friends were all watching intently as he talked to them.

Without asking, James settled on the grass beside Lily, smiling. "So, Lily—" It was only last June that James had finally stopped calling Lily 'Evans', which had come as somewhat as a relief—"I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go to Hogsmead with Sirius and I next week? Mary could go with Sirius, if she wanted."

Lily knew that Mary wanted very much. Since their second year Mary had gone on and on about how hot Sirius Black was. Lily had to admit he was handsome, but he'd always been such an arrogant git that she'd never really paid attention.

"Um, sure, that sounds great." Lily smiled and Mary nodded.

"Yeah. Er, is Sirius... around?" Mary asked hopefully. James shook his head.

"Nah. Avery and him got into a pretty bad row and they're both in the Hospital Wing," James lied, turning his back on Mary and continuing to talk to Lily. "Nice day, isn't it? Wish we were allowed to swim in the lake."

Lily laughed. "Giant squid sure is lucky."

Feeling awkward, Mary got up and walked away. Niether James nor Lily noticed; they were too deep in conversation about the warm September sun warming the grass and the tranquil lake waters. Mary found it kind of hilarious that her best friend looked so happy talking about the weather.

As Mary was walking sideways, trying to cross the grounds and keep watching James and Lily at the same time, she bumped into an angry, tall, black-haired boy with bad skin. Pressing her lips together tightly, she nodded at him. "Snape," she said, trying to be civil. She had tried to avoid ever since the year before last, when he'd broken Lily's heart by betraying her trust and meddling in the Dark Arts.

He nodded back. "McDonald." Irritated, Mary continued up the steps and by the time she was inside, all unpleasant thoughts of Severus Snape had disappeared and her mind had happily wandered back to the near-supernatural attractiveness of Sirius Black.

When James stood from talking to Lily he was thanking the gods (God? Jesus? Merlin? He didn't know.). Finally! Finally, she said yes. His knees seemed to be made out of something slightly less sturdy than water as he walked back to where his friends were sitting. "Well?" asked Sirius, who was perfectly fine and not in the hospital wing. "You seem somewhat happier than you were when you left, Prongs."

"Well, I didn't think she'd go with me when I left, did I?" James chuckled at his friends reaction when he said this. They'd been waiting for him to start dating Lily almost as eagerly as James had ever since second year when they'd realized that, hey, girls were good for something besides decent conversation.

"And, er, Sirius... you're going with Mary."

"Mary McDonald?" Sirius gave James a look that psyched him out. Hadn't Sirius just yesterday been talking about the girl? "That's fantastic, James!" James breathed a sigh of relief before marvelling at his success. He, James Potter, would be spending Saturday with the girl of his dreams—and maybe, if all went well—maybe he would kiss her, too.

The following week, a group of four, two girls and two boys, trekked across the smooth green grass and over rolling hills to the lane that would lead to the wizarding village of Hogsmeade. Laughing and joking, the group made its happy way onwards, oblivious to the strong, biting wind or the bitter looks being sent their way by a thin, greasy-haired boy not far back, who was standing with his friends.

"It's all right, Snape," Avery said to him, noticing where his younger friends' eyes kept wandering. "You're far better off without that sort of riffraff. Can you imagine dating a Mudblood? No, you made the right choice, don't worry..."

Ahead, Lily was darting away from James as he playfully tried to snatch her wand from the inside pocket of her cloak. "James!" she cried, pulling back away from his reaching hand. "Stop it!" Despite her harsh tone, she was giggling nearly uncontrollably. Meanwhile, Mary and Sirius were holding hands and were deep in discussion about what might be on the History of Magic homework next week.

Lily and James walked a bit ahead of their friends, talking more quietly now. "James?" Lily asked. James looked up, and his curious eyes made Lily feel like she was melting. "Why did you always used to bully Sever—Snape? I mean... what had he ever done to you?" It was a question Lily had meant to ask for quite a while, but she still found it so painful to talk about Severus, and she'd never actually been alone, in private with James before.

James hesitated before answering. "I guess it was just a habit, you know? I mean ever since that first day when you two left Sirius and I in our compartment, I knew he'd be a pain. Imagine, wanting to be a Slytherin!" He smiled. "Not to mention that he'd denied me the chance to sit with a very pretty girl." He paused, and before he could start talking again, they'd reached the Three Broomsticks.

"Oh, James, can we go in? I'm starved," Lily said, looking somewhat longingly at the warm, welcoming lights of the building that would be refuge from the chilly spring air and the strong winds off the lake. James nodded and they entered the building.

Once they were settled at a table, James kept talking. "And he was always with you, you know? I guess... well, I thought he was bad for you. Turns out I was right." Lily shot him a warning glance and James quickly changed the subject. "But... the real reason would have to be that I could tell he was absolutely crazy about you."

Lily's eyes widened. "Sev? No way! I won't believe it, he's absolutely hated me ever since fifth year..."

James raised his eyebrows but said nothing. Eager to change the subject, he said, "Well, now you know a bit about me, and I think it's time I got to know a bit about you." Lily grinned.

"And what would that be, then, James?" Lily leaned forward in anticipation.

"I always wondered why you hated me."

Lily laughed. She burst out into giggles and she just couldn't stop. After a few minutes, James began to chuckle at her hysterics, and soon after the couple was laughing loudly and raucously at the table. Across the room, jealousy bubbled in the stomach of a Slytherin boy watching them.

When Lily was out of breath and her stomach hurt for laughing, she finally stopped. James asked, "What's the joke? I don't get it."

Lily grinned. "I never hated you, James, it's just, you were always so arrogant, you know? Captain of Quidditch, prefect, good student, funny. I guess I always saw: conceited sports-player, stupid authority, flaunting cleverness, and bullying, and... I don't know. You were always so rude to me. 'Oh, Evans, care to come up to the boys dorm tonight?'" Lily said, doing an uncannily accurate imitation of the fifteen-year-old James Potter. "And you were SO mean to Severus. I suppose I stopped caring so much about that a couple years ago, but still. I didn't want to be like all the other girls: totally and absolutely in love with dreamy Quidditch player James Potter and his mysterious, good-looking friend, Sirius Black." She laughed.

James grinned. Dreamy. James knew it was a girls' term, but he also knew that it probably meant Lily liked him—maybe a lot. He took a long, confident swig of his butterbeer.

Lily continued. "But I never hated you. You were always a major annoyance and kind of a git, but I hated people like... Malfoy, or Avery. Them I hated, still hate, in fact. You were just conceited."

"Oh, so that's comforting, then," James said, and Lily giggled. They went on like this for ages, telling jokes and stories as they finished their drinks and got up to explore the village. They discussed almost everything, from classes, to homework, to friends, to enemies, to what they wanted to do after school and which teachers they hoped got sacked. After a while, they ran into Mary and Sirius again, and the group of four bought ice creams from Honeydukes. They sat outside on a bench, licking the cones and talking amicably.

Far too soon, Mary and Sirius had to return to the castle, for, not being prefects or Head Boy or Girl, they couldn't stay in the village past dinner. Lily and James, however, stayed out and sat, growing ever colder as the night grew darker, talking for a while, or sitting in comfortable silence. After a while, James said, "We'd better head up to the castle, it's getting cold." Lily nodded and together they headed up the hills and back to Hogwarts.

That night, Lily lay in her bed, unable to sleep, her mind twisting and turning over the Hogsmeade visit with James. It was only when she was nearly asleep that she realized—she'd been having fun today. With James Potter. Well, she thought, there's a first time for everything.