Disclaimer: Um, J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter stuff. Not me. I'm not J.K. Rowling.
Author's Notes: I have actually been trying to write this story for about four years. Apparently, I got stuck or busy or something like that. But here it is, and I hope you enjoy it! Also, Albus and Minerva are together in this, but it's not really a shippy fic—so it should still be enjoyable for those who don't like ADMM.
The Great Teacher Switch!
"Must I take part in this, Albus?" I whined. Albus was my husband, of course. I wouldn't be caught dead whining to anyone else. I am considered too severe to even tolerate this sort of behavior.
"Why, of course, dear! Surely you want to participate in my wonderful new idea. Even you said that Hogwarts life was a bit dull sometimes."
Albus had formulated a ridiculous idea that we teachers switch places, as in, we would teach a different class while another teacher taught ours. Really, what nonsense! I was not sure he could possibly think of something more outrageous.
"Would you prefer I let Boggarts loose throughout the school? Because that was another idea I had..."
Or perhaps he could.
"Boggarts! Albus, have you lost your head? The first years will be scared out of their wits! They don't even know the Riddikulus spell, and Heaven only knows if half the school can perform it properly. Really, Albus, can't you think of anything else?"
"What was wrong with my teacher switch idea? I thought it was quite a good suggestion," he said with a puppy-dog look in his eyes. Albus obviously wanted to have us take a stab at a completely different field of magical expertise, and he wanted this very badly. Merlin, I couldn't resist those eyes.
"Fine," I conceded. Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad, I thought. Hopefully someone like Filius would be covering my class... somebody skilled enough. One missed day of a proper Transfiguration education would be highly unacceptable.
"Excellent," Albus smiled. "I'll inform the others right now." He kissed my forehead. "Thank you for agreeing to this, my dear."
"Do you think I could have resisted your pouting face?" I asked, shaking my head. "Of course not."
He chuckled. "Even so, I'm glad you're behind me, Minerva. I'd best be off. Expect a staff meeting tonight for class selection!" he exclaimed, blowing me another kiss as he slipped out the door.
Albus was almost unstoppable when he had a "fun" new idea, but I couldn't help but smile. He always got so excited and could hardly wait to get started with the whole shenanigan. He was such a child sometimes.
I moved over to the window of our shared quarters and observed the school grounds. It was a Sunday afternoon, and many of the students were outside enjoying the unseasonably warm weather. Early February rarely brought spring-like conditions, and it was nice that they could take advantage of the beautiful day. Unfortunately, I could not go outside and soak up the winter sun. I had obligations that included marking papers and writing lesson plans.
Thus, I headed to my personal office to work. While walking through the school corridors, I noticed the Potions Master, Severus Snape, striding briskly toward the dungeons. His expression was quite sullen, even for him. I wondered if a clumsy student blew up another cauldron in detention. He looked positively murderous.
"Don't tell me a student exploded something on you today," I said as he approached. His dark eyes darted toward mine.
"It's that husband of yours!" he exclaimed. "He's forced me into some barmy scheme..."
Oh dear, I thought. Albus must have told him about the teacher switch. How he ever made Snape agree to this, I didn't know.
"And they say the Dark Lord's evil!" he barked, stomping past me to escape to his subterranean office.
With twinkling eyes, Albus greeted all of us and began the staff meeting. I scanned the room. Somehow, he managed to persuade a majority of the Hogwarts teaching faculty to attend. Perhaps he hadn't told them about his goofy idea. Certainly Professor Sprout, who was chatting with Hagrid, didn't want anybody else to supervise the care of her plants.
No, he couldn't have told her the entire truth, I thought. I'm not so sure about the others though...
"Well, I'm sure you all know why you're here," Albus began. "I am greatly pleased at your enthusiasm to participate in this event. Now, without further ado, let us select our new classes!"
A swish of his wand produced a starry purple bag, which he held up in the air for all to see. To my astonishment, there was a murmur of excitement among my colleagues. I gawked at them and didn't notice Professor Snape weave through the small crowd to join me on its outskirts.
"How in Merlin's name did he get them all to come?" he muttered darkly to me.
"I have yet to determine that," I answered in a low voice. Both Severus and I were scowling at the zeal of our co-workers. "We must be the only sane people here."
"Agreed!" Snape murmured just before Albus continued.
"Yes, it is quite exciting!" Albus grinned, overjoyed at the positive response. He motioned for silence and proceeded. "In this bag, there are eight slips of parchment, each bearing the name of a course. You are to, without peeking, pull out one slip. The class you've pulled will be the class you will teach tomorrow. Let us begin now with, ahh..."
As Albus tried to decide, the door burst open. A sea of wild shawls walked into the room.
"My crystal ball commanded me to attend a gathering in the staff room, and thus I hurried to join you, my fellow staff members," Sybill Trelawney announced mistily.
I frowned at her arrival. The crackpot "Seer" always annoyed me to no end with her frequent predictions.
"Ah, Sybill, welcome!" Albus greeted heartily. "I am glad you came. Please, do join us. I imagine you are interested in participating in the Great Teacher Switch? It will take place only tomorrow; you simply teach a different class for the day."
Trelawney's eyes widened considerably.
"My tea leaves informed me of such a change. Yes, Headmaster, I shall partake in this event!" she exclaimed profoundly. I rolled my eyes.
"Marvelous, this makes nine." Albus flicked his wand, and a bit of parchment materialized and drifted into the violet bag. "Let us begin! Filius, would you please choose a subject?"
Professor Flitwick stepped toward Albus, who was stooping to Flitwick's height and was holding open the bag. He reached into the bag and pulled out a slip of parchment. He read it quickly and rejoined the crowd.
"Well, what did you get?" Professor Sprout asked curiously.
"Yes, please share with us your selection after choosing," Albus said.
Professor Flitwick's squeaky voice could be heard somewhere among the other teachers: "Astronomy!"
"Be sure not to break my telescope!" Professor Sinistra, the real Astronomy professor, warned playfully, smiling. A few of my colleagues laughed quietly.
Next was Hagrid, whose enormous hand nearly got stuck in the bag when he picked his class When his hand finally emerged, he said, "Well, I got Potions. I'll try my best, I s'pose." He sidled back into the group of teachers, looking uncertain about his new assignment. "...Yeh okay there, Professor Snape?"
Snape had slapped his hand to his forehead and looked absolutely mortified. Surely he was imagining what damage Hagrid would deal in his one day on the job. Explosions, spills, cauldron meltdowns… Only Merlin knew what could happen with Hagrid as the Potions teacher.
Hagrid shrugged and Professor Lupin stepped forward.
"Arithmancy," he stated simply and resumed his former position next to Hagrid. Professor Vector smiled and wished him luck.
"It's your turn, Minerva," Albus said to me with a special sparkle in his blue eyes.
I put on a false smile and reached into the velvet star-patterned bag, which thoroughly resembled one of Albus's robes. It was no surprise he'd create a bag such as this. I shuffled through the slips of parchment for a few seconds before grasping one. Finally, I removed my hand and read my subject's name. Then I read it again. And again, just to make sure my eyes weren't deceiving me. I tried to tell myself that I couldn't have possibly pulled this subject. It just wasn't allowable. I wondered if it were a hallucination. I did feel a bit lightheaded, after all.
"What is it, dear?" Albus asked after a moment, releasing one of his hands from the bag to place a hand on my shoulder. I could hear some of the other teachers begin to whisper amongst themselves as I stood rooted to the spot, my hands trembling.
"Divination," I murmured softly. A look of realization dawned on Albus's face. He knew as well as anyone that I hated Divination with a heated passion. I didn't want to have anything to do with the subject. After a few more moments, at last, I pulled myself together and said a bit more acidly than intended, "Divination." I swiftly retreated to a chair behind Severus, who seemed to be stifling laughter.
"Good luck with that," he sneered and sniggered silently to himself. He slipped into the shadows to hide his grinning face.
I glared at him, but he was unfazed.
Professor Sinistra was next, and I breathed a sigh of relief when she selected Transfiguration. At least this now eliminated the possibility of Sybill also teaching my class. Professor Sinistra was competent enough. I forced a smile at her, despite myself.
"Severus! It is your turn to select," Dumbledore said cheerily, motioning for the Potions Master to step forward. Snape put on an emotionless mask as he approached the Headmaster. His expression remained unchanged after he had read the slip of parchment.
"Care of Magical Creatures," he said shortly before returning to his former position in the shadows to brood. He swore under his breath. Hagrid had been tending to the Blast-Ended Skrewts this weekend.
The remaining professors were rather agreeable about Dumbledore's idea, and they seemed pleased with their assignments. Professor Sprout would be teaching Charms, Professor Trelawney would have Defense Against the Dark Arts ("I foresaw this!"), and Professor Vector would be running the greenhouses as Herbology instructor for the day.
After everybody knew what position they would be filling the next day, Albus advised us to speak with the regular professor to determine what plans they had already set for Monday. He also told us that if we had scheduled any exams, we should postpone them until after the Switch. Not wanting to speak with Sybill Trelawney at all, I swiftly made my way toward Professor Sinistra to discuss Transfiguration.
Once I briefed Aurora about my plans and informed her that I would leave a written copy on my desk in the classroom, I hoped to evade Professor Trelawney, even though I had no idea what I would do in her place tomorrow. My hopes were dashed when I saw Remus, who said, "Ah, and here is Minerva now. Good luck to you tomorrow, Sybill," and brushed past me to find Professor Vector. He shot a smile in my direction, and I knew I could not avoid the Divination instructor.
"Minerva," she said cautiously, sensing my unwillingness to speak with her or teach her class. Despite all the fog in her head, she was not actually stupid. This much I acknowledged.
"Sybill."
"I will—I will draw up a plan for you and place it on my desk."
I refrained from asking why she hadn't already done so, if she had predicted this change, as she had mentioned earlier.
"Thank you."
I stepped away and out of the Staff Room as quickly as I could after our encounter, and I found Severus making his exit at the same time.
"Going to search for the gift of Sight, Minerva?" he drawled. He obviously took pleasure in my misfortune.
I raised an eyebrow at him. His situation was not far better, although I would have traded with him if I could. Care of Magical Creatures seemed useful to me, at least.
"Should you be so concerned about what I will be doing? I will still have a classroom when the day is over," I pointed out. "And all of my body parts."
He glowered and failed to return with a snappy retort. Displeased, he turned on his heel and swept away, likely to attempt to protect the dungeons from the mishaps that Hagrid would cause, using any spells he knew. His panic actually amused me momentarily, but quickly remembering what I would have to do the next day, I retreated to my office to gather my thoughts and formulate a plan to make Albus's Great Teacher Switch more bearable.
Nobody, not even Sybill, could predict what the next day would bring.
Author's Notes: I intend for this to have just one more chapter. I'll try to update quickly! (As in, in a time span significantly shorter than four years. Less than a month, hopefully.) Thank you to everyone who read. :) - Erin