Chapter One: Kyle's Wish
Another long afternoon in South Park Elementary, sucks for everyone. Having to deal with the weird Mr. Garrison, Mr. Mackey's long lectures about you shouldn't do drugs and other stuff, much to Cartman's chagrin.
"OK, class," said Mr. Garrison. "Let's do some math... let's ask Mr. Hat what we should do... Mr. Hat, what problem shall we do?"
"2x27," replied Mr. Hat.
"4?" said Clyde.
"I know the answer Mr. Garrison," said Kyle.
"No he doesn't," said Cartman.
"Shut up you fucking fat ass," said Kyle.
"Don't call me fat you stupid Jew!"
"Not again!" said Stan, hiding his face in shame.
"Goddammit, Cartman, stop calling me a stupid Jew!" screamed Kyle.
"STOP IT YOU GUYS!!!" said Kenny. He was just as tired as Stan with having to put up with Cartman and Kyle arguing all the time.
"Screw you Kenny," said Kyle.
Then the bell rung and Kyle ran to Stark's Pond.
"Stupid fat ass," said Kyle. "He may consider me a friend, but he's my worst enemy since he stole Wendy away from me...I wish he'd die! I wish he'd commit suicide I don't care!!"
Kyle was tired of having to put up with Cartman teasing him and calling him names that referred to his religion. He only put up with it because he had to...
The next day was very happy and normal, until the announcement Mr. Mackey made over the loudspeaker.
"Mr. Garrison, one of your students is near the Stark's Pond bridge, mm'kay?"
Then everyone ran to the bridge only to find Cartman there, probably about to jump off.
"Eric! Don't do it!" screamed Mr. Garrison. "I don't really like you that much but please don't do it!"
"I can't take it anymore," sobbed Cartman. "I just wanna die!"
"Don't, Eric!" said Liane Cartman.
"Nobody likes me!!!" sobbed Cartman.
"Don't do it Cartman!" screamed Stan.
"Forget you! Kyle hates me and everyone knows it! You all hate me! I never had a father or any real friends!
My girlfriends always dump me because I'm so cold!"
Then Cartman took a step forward and sighed.
"DON'T DO IT ERIC!!!" screamed Butters.
Then Cartman jumped off and fell in the river.
"Oh my God!!!" screamed Liane. She sobbed in the Scotches' arms.
"Cartman, killed himself," said Stan. He's never been shocked like this before.
"For a mean-spirited boy, he sure did have an impact on us and he was an OK friend I guess," said Kenny.
Then Stan, Butters and Kenny went over to Kyle's to tell him what Cartman did.
"Hey, is Kyle in?" said Stan.
"Yes, come in," said Sheila Broflovski.
"Kyle," began Butters.
"What's wrong?"
"Cartman killed himself!!!" sobbed Butters.
"I knew he was gonna do something like this!"
"You don't feel sorry for him at all?!?!?" said Stan. "You bastard! He killed himself because he cared about you!"
"He couldn't give a crap about any of us," said Kyle.
"You know what? He may have been a little mean, but I liked it!"
"Me too!" said Butters.
We just heard Kyle's feelings towards Cartman's suicide.