Notes: Title from Snow Patrol (even though the song totally doesn't relate). Also, special thanks to Jenny (tumblr: cuddlyBlainearchive) for giving me such great art and Cassie (tumblr: sassyblaien) for being an amazing beta! (Originally written for the kblreversebang on Tumblr/LJ)
"Happiness depends upon ourselves." -Aristotle
Kurt Hummel would not admit that he was jealous. Absolutely not. He would instead sit here seething with envy, staring intently at Blaine while he sipped his coffee in the student center.
Blaine Anderson was a freshman who had Kurt completely enamored. He was good. He was definitely here because he deserved to be, but at NYADA, you had to be better than good. You had to stand out, and Blaine's charisma made him stand out like the star on top of a Christmas tree.
The dance majors weren't known for being nice; they were known for being cut-throat. But Blaine didn't play by their rules. He was friendly to everyone, flirted with everyone, and it irritated Kurt.
"Just ignore him," Rachel said as she sat down with her cappuccino.
"What?" Kurt asked.
"You're staring at Blaine again. Don't be mad."
"What? That he got the lead in Rechnitz's performance? A month into his freshman year? I'm not mad," Kurt shrugged.
"Oh really?" Rachel sipped her coffee.
Kurt was supposed to be the lead. No one ever said anything, but Kurt had been Rechnitz's favorite last year. This part was going to be his before Blaine showed up.
"Really," he smirked. "He is barely trained. He's going to make a fool out of himself. The entire spectacle is going to be laughable. I'm just mad that I have to be swaying in the background. Maybe I'll leave it off my resume if it's really horrible."
Rachel sighed. "Does that mean you're skipping his class today?"
"What do I need to go for? I'm background. I can do those dances in my sleep. Want to go shopping?"
Rachel shook her head. "Not all of us can do a cabriole in our sleep. Some of us need practice. Try not to stare at him so openly. It makes people think you're plotting to kill him."
Kurt laughed as Rachel left for class.
He was staring again. Blaine saw him out of the corner of his eye.
He'd been told many things about Kurt Hummel, the most important being to stay away. He was an amazing dancer. He was likely to end up at a top company. However, he didn't have to put in effort. He didn't go to class. He didn't like the histories. He ate things he shouldn't. He danced in clubs, places the serious ballerinas would not go. He did the bare minimum to stay in school because Kurt knew he was good enough to get an amazing gig after school.
It made others hate him. He was the ballet school version of a bad boy, which Blaine found rather funny because, quite frankly, the boy looked like he'd stepped out of Vogue.
Everyone here was very intense. He honestly wasn't sure why Kurt was staring at him all the time. He had never even talked to him. Kurt always stayed as far away as possible in the few classes they had together. Blaine wondered if Kurt hated him. There was only one way to find out.
Blaine approached Kurt's table with a big smile. "Hey," he said.
Kurt looked up, eyes wide. "Hi," he said flatly.
"I don't feel like we've officially met."
"There are less than 150 students in each graduating class here. You know everyone."
"Yeah, but not officially. I'm Blaine," Blaine held his hand out.
"Kurt." Kurt accepted the handshake, but his frown remained.
"So I've noticed you staring at me," Blaine said as he sat down across from Kurt.
"I haven't been staring."
"Yes, you have. People have told me to be afraid of you."
"Are you?" Kurt raised an eyebrow.
"No, I'm not scared of guys who have tattoos of flowers on their arms."
"Maybe you should be."
"Oh, is this the brooding bad boy thing I hear so much about? Does that come with the pink hair and the piercings and the tattoos?" Blaine smiled. "There is a lot of gossip about you, Kurt."
"You're far too friendly for a freshman. You shouldn't talk to so many people."
"I find that being friendly makes people like you, and having people like you makes life easier."
"It won't here. They'll use it against you," Kurt warned.
"Let's get back to the staring," Blaine said.
"Which has not happened."
"I figure if we're friends, I can be looking at you and you can be looking at me, and it won't be at all creepy because we're friends."
"You want to be friends with everyone, don't you?"
"It really does make life easier. Our friendship would entitle you to copying my notes from Friday's 15th century Russian ballet lecture," Blaine grinned.
"That's cute that you think I care about the notes."
"You don't care about grades?"
"Nope. Good companies care about talent, not meaningless numbers that make up my GPA."
"So why aren't you in class right now?"
"Rechnitz's class? Do you know my schedule?"
"I know everyone in ensemble is in that class, and you're in ensemble."
Kurt rolled his eyes. "It's a stupid class. The moves are elementary."
"Not for everyone. You really don't even want to practice?"
"The performance is before Christmas. It's not even Halloween. I have at least a month before I should even bother because Rechnitz will be making changes as he sees fit." Kurt twirled the wooden stirrer around his cup with boredom. "I'll come in for the last of the changes and I'll be better than the rest of them because I'm not set in a specific routine yet. Then he'll put me in a featured role because I can adapt so easily."
"You could fail if you do that."
"As long as I attend all the tests, he doesn't count attendance against students. You're far too concerned with my life, Blaine."
"We're friends. We're supposed to care about each other's lives."
"Oh, am I supposed to be interested in your life right now?"
Blaine smiled again. "I don't think you're that self-absorbed."
"You'd be wrong."
"Nah, I know self-absorbed people. I'm related to many, actually. They don't realize what they're doing because they're only thinking about themselves. You, Kurt Hummel, know exactly what you're doing. Why don't you want to be friends with me?"
"Because you're the little shit who took my part."
Blaine's face fell. "I won the part."
"Rechnitz likes you. You have charisma and an ass that's perky enough to distract audiences."
"Oh Kurt, don't worry, your ass is very attractive in tights."
Kurt smirked. "I know. That's why I was his favorite last year. It's not your talent, Blaine. You can't pick up moves fast enough and you're not graceful enough. Rechnitz is a perv and that's the only reason your name will be in lights come December. When I get a part, it'll just be because I'm flawless." Kurt stood up. "Enjoy your coffee." He turned on his heel and left.
Blaine hated Kurt. He was a bastard.
"He told me that I only got the part because Rechnitz likes me!" Blaine said.
Anna, a sophomore who lived across the hall from Blaine, sat on his bed while he vented. "Well, he definitely took a liking to you in the summer program," she said.
"He's married to a woman for Christ's sake! And I worked hard on that audition piece. I nailed it. I earned that part."
"You did do really well at the audition. It's just Kurt Hummel. He's an ass," Anna said.
"You don't think Rechnitz is a pervert do you?"
"All men are perverts. Some are just better at restraining it than others," she shrugged.
Blaine didn't respond. Kurt was just trying to get under his skin.
Right?
"Heard you bitched out Blaine," Rachel said as she entered their Bushwick apartment.
"He was trying to be friends with me," Kurt said as he made a disgusted face.
"Kurt, first of all, you find him attractive."
"I go to school where men regularly walk around in tights without shirts. I find a lot of people attractive. A pretty face and a great butt does not mean anything to me."
"You don't have to hate every person who is nice to you at NYADA."
"Oh, right, because NYADA is full of trustworthy people who love and support each other," Kurt said disdainfully.
"He's from Ohio."
"What? Am I supposed to feel a hometown connection to him?"
Rachel sighed. "He's not New York or Boston or London. He's from Ohio. He isn't trying to undermine you or steal your spotlight—"
"Because he already did."
"He's a genuinely nice guy. Don't give him the New York treatment. Everyone else will crush him soon enough."
"You think so?" Kurt asked, trying to sound hopeful.
"Please, you think everyone thought you would get that part? Every upperclassman wants a shot at that part and a freshman took it. He's about to be slaughtered."
Kurt wasn't so sure. Blaine was like a puppy. He ran up to people with his tail wagging and soon enough they're feeding him scraps off their plate. "I don't know. He seems to be charming his way into everyone's hearts."
"If you attended class, you'd know that's the opposite of true."
"Really?" he asked. They wanted to slaughter a puppy?
Rachel turned to look at him and saw the concern on his face. "Oh my god."
"What?"
"Do you like him? Did Blaine Anderson's charms work on the icy Kurt Hummel?"
"Go take your meds, Rachel. I do not like Blaine Anderson at all. End of conversation."
"Do you think that will really end the conversation?" Rachel asked.
"No, but the fact that you're going to be late to your Skype date with Finn will definitely end it."
"Oh!" Rachel ran to her laptop.
Kurt rolled his eyes. He did not like Blaine Anderson. He found him attractive and charming, but he did not like him. He did wonder, though, if Blaine really would encounter all the meanness Kurt ran into first semester. Dancing is ridiculously competitive. There are only so many jobs with real companies available and so many theme park jobs opens. It made people a little crazy.
The idea was that being cruel weeds out the weak ones. NYADA students discover quickly who they don't have to worry about. Kurt quickly realized that this was not McKinley; you don't take anything lying down. Kurt remembered putting Nair on a girl's eyebrows after she put canola oil on the bottom of his pointe shoes. He got kicked out of the dorms after that, but the look on her face when she realized she didn't have eyebrows was worth it. If someone tries to hurt you or get you in trouble, you get even. That's how they know that yes, they do have to watch out for you. Kurt wondered if Blaine would figure that out.
Kurt liked records. They reminded him of his mother and her old Beatles' albums. Vinyl is one of the few things outside of fashion that Kurt splurges on. Luckily, record stores aren't hard to find in Brooklyn.
The one he was in currently was his favorite. It was a wide selection of used records, and there weren't too many hipsters there purely to take Instagram photos.
He looked up from the Fleetwood Mac albums to see Blaine Anderson walk in. He looked back down. Maybe they could pretend they don't notice each other. If Blaine noticed him, he didn't say anything. Kurt snuck glances occasionally. Blaine seemed to be into older R&B and Motown. He definitely picked up a Sam Cooke album.
Kurt kept his eyes on the rock music of the 60s and 70s, though. They met somewhere around Jefferson Airplane. Blaine didn't say anything.
"Hey," Kurt said.
"Careful, a greeting might be seen as friendly," Blaine said without making eye contact.
Kurt stayed silent. He wanted so badly to go back to looking at records. He should have been able to ignore Blaine. He could ignore tons of people. He did it all the time. Wasn't that how he got through four years of high school?
Blaine wasn't a jock with a slushie, though.
"Look," Kurt sighed. "People are going to be mean to you. You're talented, and you got really lucky with the Rechnitz performance. You're a target. Build a shield."
"Oh, is that how you sleep at night? You tell yourself that it's okay you're a dick because everyone else is?"
"No, I'm a dick because I don't care about the people at NYADA."
"How well is that going for you?"
"Blaine, there are other people who aren't going to be as upfront as I am about how much they don't want you to succeed. I honestly hope you break a limb so I can be called in to take your place. The others won't tell you that. They'll tell you what you want to hear until they find your weakness and use it against you."
"Has it occurred to you that people were mean to you because you're an asshole?" Blaine spat.
"Keep growing that backbone. You'll need it." Kurt went back to his browsing.
Blaine didn't know what to make of Kurt's words. He was trying to remember if he liked Jefferson Airplane or Jefferson Starship more. He definitely liked one of them a lot more, but he couldn't focus because Kurt was wandering into Motown albums. Was he trying to make Blaine paranoid? Or was he actually giving him a warning?
It took fifteen minutes before he went over to Kurt. "Okay, why would you give me that warning? Doesn't that defeat the entire purpose of the weird cruelty cycle?" Blaine asked.
Kurt sighed. "I don't know. You're from Ohio."
"Yeah, so?"
"So me and Rachel are from Ohio. We didn't get it either. Rachel had eyebrows shaved off freshman year when she got a featured role in Dr. July's spring performance."
"And what about you?"
"There was a guy who—he just—let's just say he hurt me, okay?"
For the briefest moment, Blaine saw the pain in Kurt's eyes. The moment passed quickly, and Kurt's glazed over, expressionless eyes returned.
Blaine nodded. "Okay…you should go for the Temptations records they have, if you're over here."
Blaine couldn't tell, but it almost looked like Kurt was grateful for the change in conversation. "I've never really listened to a lot of Motown. I could never get into The Temptations or Jackson 5 or anything. My dad really likes Otis Redding, and I kind of have no idea what that's considered."
"Soul," Blaine smiled. "You want soul. Sam Cooke is really amazing. It's, well, I like it because I don't immediately want to choreograph it. It just makes me want to sing."
"Maybe I'll try it."
"What do you usually listen to?" Blaine asked.
Blaine knew that he should've left him alone, but part of him wanted to make Kurt feel better. He knew it was stupid, but he really didn't want to see that pain in Kurt's eyes. So they kept talking, and Kurt didn't push him away. Blaine wouldn't have been surprised if he did, but they just kept talking about music.
Kurt just got music the way Blaine did. He liked how it made him feel. He knew other dancers found their solitude in the way they moved, and that had never been the case for Blaine. The choreography was always secondary to the music for him.
They talked until the shop closed.
"It was, um, well, it was actually nice to talk to you, Kurt."
Kurt smiled at him. "Don't tell anyone I'm human…or about my weakness for classic rock. Goodnight, Blaine."
Blaine hadn't spoken to Kurt since their music shop run in. Kurt supposed they had made their peace. He watched Blaine from afar, and Kurt wondered if being that genuinely nice and funny really did thaw the cold, dead hearts of the NYADA dancers.
Blaine was surrounded by people all the time. Kurt could literally never get him alone for a second. He did start to hear about Blaine in classes though.
Kurt was in Rechnitz's class as a courtesy. He had to at least pass. Anna came in and announced, "He's gay, kids! Let that settle your bets."
"What?" Kurt asked Rachel.
"Blaine," Rachel answered.
Kurt saw people around him high fiving and exchanging money. "You all bet on Blaine's sexuality?" Kurt asked.
"Necessary information," Brent said.
Kurt felt anger boil within him. Some cute upperclassmen would be sent to seduce him and somehow figure out how to make him fail. They could play on his weaknesses or, if he was in love, just play with his emotions.
"It would be such a shame for you all to have to beat someone out with your talent instead of your deception," Kurt said.
"You should be lining up for this, Kurt. Everyone thought that you were the big competition for the lead," Brent said.
"We'll see if he even lasts through Halloween. The pressure of being a freshman is hard enough without a lead role on his shoulders. He might crack on his own."
Professor Rechnitz came in, ceasing all conversation. "Thanks for gracing us with your presence, Kurt," Rechnitz said.
"Always a displeasure," Kurt smirked as the class began.
Blaine was having a weird week. Everyone had started hitting on him, and he wasn't sure why. He wasn't interested in anyone. Quite honestly, all the guys who had hit on him had come off as cold to him before now.
He knocked on Anna's door and poked his head inside the propped open door. "Come on in!" she said.
"You're not going to believe how many guys have hit on me this week," Blaine said.
Anna's eyes widened. "How many?"
"Seventeen. Seventeen! I mean, the entire ensemble, except Kurt, plus a few guys I don't even know. It's so weird."
"Well, you said at the party last weekend that you're gay. I guess they took that as an invitation," Anna shrugged. "So how many dates do you have this weekend?"
"None. I don't know. None of them felt right to me. It was all so odd. Some of those guys had never talked to me before. Some of them had been rude to me before."
"Well, they didn't know you back then," Anna reasoned.
"They still don't. Kurt said something to me that just—he kind of warned me that guys would try to use me."
"You're taking warnings from Kurt Hummel?"
"You weren't there, Anna. He seemed serious."
"Blaine, look at Kurt Hummel's life choices. He has permanently marked his body with tattoos that will forever hinder his career. He goes to clubs and associates with the vermin who dance there. He has pink hair. His GPA barely keeps him here. Kurt is the last person you should listen to."
Blaine sighed as he flopped down on her bed. "You're probably right."
"So you should just give one of those guys a call and say you changed your mind. Every star needs arm candy," Anna smiled.
Blaine didn't call any of the guys that night. Part of him really believed Kurt more than anyone else, but why should he believe the guy who breaks every rule and no one likes? Something told him to stick with his gut, though.
Kurt hadn't stopped listening to Sam Cooke in a good three weeks. It was a problem. He loved the music, and he really wanted to talk to Blaine about it.
Shit.
He liked Blaine.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
Kurt sighed as he lay on his bed. He liked Blaine, a lot. He didn't even know why. He was just so fucking adorable and open and pleasant and, well, he was everything Kurt was afraid of being. He was so genuine with people. Kurt wanted to slaughter the people who wanted to tear Blaine down. He wanted to shield him from it.
Kurt stole Rachel's phone to get Blaine's number (oh god, he really liked him). He texted Blaine
To Blaine: Hey. It's Kurt.
To Kurt: Hi!
To Kurt: How is the soul music going?
To Blaine: It was just what I needed.
To Kurt: Yeah, I know the feeling.
To Blaine: So I haven't been able to talk to you on campus much…
To Kurt: I've kind of been locking myself in the studio practicing.
To Blaine: Well, I'll be at the music shop again on Saturday afternoon. If you were to stop by, I could use help with my foray into soul and motown.
To Kurt: You really want my help? Just my help?
To Blaine: I liked talking to you and I'd like to talk to you again.
To Kurt: Why not at school?
Kurt's breath caught in his throat. He didn't want to see Blaine at school. Too many people would talk, and it wasn't as if Kurt really cared what people said about him. They would talk about Blaine, though. They would tell him to stay away.
To Blaine: Because then it becomes about dance and other people and their opinions. I just want to hang out with you. I'm not asking for anything more.
To Kurt: I'll see you Saturday.
Blaine wandered into the record store not knowing what he was doing. He was hanging out with Kurt, who everyone told him he should avoid. Yet, for some reason, Blaine wanted to know Kurt. He wanted to talk to him and hang out with him. He wasn't sure if it was real or if he just liked the mystery around Kurt. He figured the best way to find out was to start unwrapping the mystery.
"Hey," Blaine said.
"Hi," Kurt smiled wide.
"How are you?"
"I'm good. You?"
"Good. What are you looking at there?"
"Sly and the Family Stone." And just like that, they slipped into conversation. It was easy, and Blaine wondered if that was just because it was music. He didn't change the subject for a while, though, because Kurt used music to tell stories. He told Blaine which albums his mother used to play. He told him which his father used to play while they learned to cook after she died. He told him what albums he used to listen to in high school when he dealt with bullies. He never went into detail about the events. He just talked about the music and how it made him feel, how it helped him.
"Why aren't you studying music?" Blaine asked after a while.
"What?"
"You love it. You're really passionate about it. Why aren't you studying music?"
Kurt sighed. "I'm really good at dancing."
"So? I'm really good at math. Doesn't mean I'm going to do anything with it."
"Math would lead to a much more reliable career path."
"And the risks are the same in music and dance. So why?"
Kurt looked down. "It's, you know, it's not something I'm ready to talk about with you yet."
Blaine wondered if honesty was a kink because Kurt being so blunt and honest was bizarrely attractive. Wouldn't most guys change the subject or give some half-truth? "Alright, I respect that," Blaine said. "Can I try another personal question, though?"
Kurt gave a little laugh. "I guess. No answers guaranteed."
"You said that a guy used you when you were a freshman? A lot of, um, well. There have been a few guys a-and—"
"People found out you're gay and now they're all clawing at you like a piece of fresh meat in a bear cage," Kurt said.
"Well, yeah. How did you know that the guy wasn't genuinely interested in you?"
"I didn't. Not until after he got what he wanted."
"Can I ask what happened?"
Kurt looked back down at the records. "A lot. I guess I should've noticed a lot of things happening. He always made himself seem better than me and made it seem like I should be grateful that he would be with me." Kurt sighed. "I was stupid enough to believe that he was right because I was the only out gay kid in my high school. I never had a guy interested in me before, so I basically worshipped the ground he walked on. He got cast as my understudy in Professor July's fall performance last year."
"Did he sabotage you?" Blaine's eyes widened.
Kurt scoffed. "That would've been so much less embarrassing. No, he convinced me to back out of the part. He put ideas about stage fright in my head and just played all these mind games with me. He convinced me that I would freeze up and that I should just drop out to save myself the embarrassment."
"And you did?"
"Yup. I thought he knew better than I did because what did I know about being a professional dancer? He just wanted the part. The night of the performance he told me that we shouldn't see each other anymore. I was too immature for him. As I watched him receive his applause, I realized that's all it was for. He never wanted me."
"Kurt." Blaine put a hand on Kurt's shoulder.
"Blaine, when I say don't trust anyone, I mean it. They're vicious."
"I trust you," Blaine said quietly.
"You want to know something really weird?" Kurt asked.
"What?"
"I think I trust you too."
It was early November, and Blaine did not expect himself to have friendship with Kurt Hummel at this point. They hung out every weekend. They even started sitting next to each other when Kurt went to his Ballet History 102 class.
No one really noticed though. They didn't hang out on campus. They usually met somewhere in Brooklyn to hang out. They moved from the record store to small cafes and movie theaters. They never mentioned it to anyone else. They didn't even mention it to each other either.
"Hey Kurt?" Blaine asked while they were in a thrift shop in Williamsburg.
"Yeah?" Kurt asked while he looked through a box of bowties.
"Does Rachel know we hang out?"
Blaine saw an array of emotions cross over Kurt's face, but he couldn't pinpoint one. "No," Kurt said.
"It's okay. I don't tell anyone either."
"I just, I don't know. It's stupid, but I worry about what other people might say."
"Yeah, I'm not exactly in a motorcycle gang," Blaine said as he picked up a leather jacket.
"No, not about me, Blaine. Put that down. Try this," Kurt said as he slid a purple bowtie around his neck. "I don't care what they say about me. I'm worried what they'd say about you. I don't want our friendship to affect the way other people see you." Blaine gave a small smile as Kurt was tying the fabric around his neck. "What?" Kurt asked.
"You just always surprise me," Blaine said. "You should let more people see that you've got a big heart."
"I told you, a big heart gets you in trouble at that school. I'd rather just show it to the people I like."
"You like me?"
"Maybe a little. I also like that bowtie on you. You're getting it," Kurt said as he tossed it into their basket.
"I like you a little too." Blaine put his hands on Kurt's hips. "Out of all of my friends with septum piercings, tattoos and a pink streak in their hair, you're definitely my favorite."
Kurt rolled his eyes, but he didn't move away from Blaine. He just picked up another bowtie to try on him. "I wonder how you'd do with needles."
"I got my ear pierced when I was 12. I cried," Blaine said.
Kurt laughed. "Well I'd be there to hold your hand, obviously."
"I thought you weren't a bad influence on me."
"Oh, I never said that. I just said I didn't want everyone else to say that I was a bad influence on you," Kurt smiled.
Blaine was pretty sure that he let Kurt tie a ridiculous number of bowties on him, but he didn't really mind as long as Kurt stayed that close to him.
Kurt didn't know if Blaine would be coming to the senior ballet performance. A lot of freshmen skipped the first senior performance because they didn't want to know what was to come. The idea of putting together such an intense performance in two months was daunting. Kurt was only there to see who got picked up by dance companies. Scouts and agents always came to senior performances. Very few things get Kurt to take out his piercings and flip up his septum piercing so that it was unseen; the possibility that someone here could determine his future was one of them.
The performance was wonderful. It was beautiful and moving and everyone hit their marks perfectly. Kurt wondered how the hell everyone manages to be perfect.
He stopped Cassandra July afterwards. "Professor July, that performance was amazing," Kurt said.
Cassie gave him a hug. "Thank you. They put a lot of work into it. That's what happens when people start to get the hang of things, you know. They start to get better and better."
Kurt knew what she was getting at. "Well, I wonder when that'll kick in for the underclassmen."
"Well you'd have to attend class to see it happen, wouldn't you?"
Kurt gave his best devious grin. "Have you and Rechnitz been talking about me behind my back?"
Cassie didn't return the grin. "The entire staff talks about the boy who hits his mark but has a 2.5 GPA. You're smart and talented, Kurt."
"I know. That's why I'm here to schmooze the scouts."
Cassie laughed. "Like hell you are. We won't let you near them."
"What?"
"You heard me, Hummel. I love you, kid, but you've got to clean your act up. Rechnitz gave your part away and you still don't care."
Kurt's jaw clenched. "Oh trust me, I'm pissed."
This was none of her business. Kurt didn't understand why she was getting involved.
"Then go to class. Show us you give a shit. You're talented, Kurt. You have talent spouting out of your ass, but this 'I don't give a crap' act is getting you nowhere fast. Talent only takes you so far. You have to be easy to work with and dependable. So far, you haven't shown us any of that."
"So you're going to prevent me from doing something that would actually benefit me, like talking to scouts?"
"Yes, because you're not ready. When you grow up a bit, maybe it will be an option."
Kurt huffed and walked out on his heel. He walked into the lobby where too many underclassmen were. He just wanted to get out.
Then he saw Blaine. He would feel better if he talked to Blaine, but he couldn't do that. He didn't want people to think they were alike. Clearly, not even Cassie July thought highly of Kurt, and he was truly afraid of damaging Blaine's reputation. Blaine obviously didn't have the same concerns. He walked over to Kurt. "You alright?" he asked.
"I'm fine."
"You seem angry."
"I brood. I'm a brooder. It's what I do. It's a talent that's given to you the second a tattoo needle touches your skin. You wouldn't understand."
"Maybe you can explain it to me sometime." Blaine looked hopeful.
"Your friends are over there. You should go before they see us."
He heard Blaine sigh. Kurt wondered how much they're on the same page. Kurt liked Blaine far more than he was comfortable with. He was so open and honest, but kind and forgiving at the same time. He didn't want to jeopardize Blaine's career at NYADA by association, though. He wasn't sure that Blaine really understood how much reputation meant to these people.
"Later, Kurt," Blaine said as he walked over to his friends.
Blaine was starting to get annoyed with the secrecy behind his friendship with Kurt. He didn't really think it would be a huge deal for them to be seen together. It might even help Kurt's reputation, which Blaine knew was affecting him. He'd heard Professor July and Professor Rechnitz talking about Kurt. Though, really, he wanted more. He liked Kurt far too much. He wanted him in ways that he wasn't really sure that Kurt wanted him back. Everything would just be easier if they could be seen in public together.
But Blaine also knew when to pick fights with Kurt. Here wasn't the place. So he went over to a group of friends in the lobby. He hadn't known Anna and their group of friends from pilates were coming tonight.
He approached quietly and heard them giggling. Craig said, "You guys, he's going to suck. I've been taking him to parties every weekend. He's put on five pounds since drinking beer."
"But we still couldn't get him to date anyone," Brent said.
"Oh, trust me, we had a fucking girl talk last week," Anna said. "He's scared shitless. It'll be easy enough to psych him out. If he doesn't think he's good enough, then making him drop out will be cake. If Jason could do it to Kurt Hummel last year, I'm sure we can fuck up Blaine Anderson's career. He isn't even half as talented."
Blaine's mind raced. People didn't like him? They were just trying to get to him? They were setting him up?
It was then that Brent noticed him. "Shit. Guys." He pointed at Blaine who was standing there dumbfounded.
Blaine turned and walked out.
Kurt couldn't believe it. He was only a little behind Blaine. They had been obnoxiously loud. There was a certain amount of secrecy that comes with sabotage and deceit, but clearly, Kurt's classmates couldn't comprehend that.
Kurt felt like his blood was on fire. He wanted to pounce on them. He wanted them to feel the pain that he knew they caused Blaine.
"You're pathetic, every last one of you. It's why you'll never be where he is. You're too busy plotting how to take down the lead instead of figuring out how to dance better. You're idiots," Kurt spat.
He walked out before they had a chance to respond. He wanted to catch up to Blaine.
Blaine didn't know what to do. Kurt warned him about this. He suspected all the guys hitting on him had been a ploy, but he thought that was it. And Anna? Anna had quickly become his best friend, and she just wanted to set him up.
Blaine quickly walked. He thought he should practice. He should be working on his dancing. He headed towards the studio.
"Blaine!" he heard from behind him.
He looked back to see Kurt jogging to catch up with him. "Go away," Blaine said.
"Blaine, just—"
"I don't really feel like hearing an 'I told you so' right now, okay, Kurt? I actually am perfectly aware that I'm an idiot for believing that I could be nice to people!"
"Blaine," Kurt reached out for him as he approached.
"Don't," Blaine said as he took a step back. "Did you know? Did you know that they were planning this?"
"I'd heard some of them say stuff about you in Rechnitz's class once."
"And you didn't tell me."
"Would you have believed me? You trust me, but would you have trusted me more than Anna?"
Blaine looked at the ground. He wouldn't have. He knew that he would have gone to Anna, and Anna would have convinced him that Kurt was messing with him.
"I do now," Blaine said.
Kurt reached out for Blaine, and he didn't step away this time. He let Kurt wrap his arms tightly around him, and buried his face into Kurt's neck. Kurt was right to be the way he was. Everyone was out for themselves. He shouldn't have trusted any of them. It was silly to think that he could win people over by being nice. This wasn't Dalton.
"I'm so stupid," Blaine said.
"No," Kurt said. "You're kind and optimistic."
"Yeah that got me really far."
"Those two things are hard to find in a person, Blaine. Hold onto them."
Blaine wasn't so sure he should.
The campus was suddenly suffocating. He looked around at the buildings with the names of famous dancers on them. They mocked him the same way his friends did. He'd never be that good.
"I need to get out of here."
"Okay, where do you want to go?"
"Somewhere that's not here."
Kurt was silent a moment. "How would you feel about going to a club?"
Blaine thought for a moment. Anna always told him that they were above the creatures who gyrated their bodies to bad remixes. "Take me," Blaine laced his fingers with Kurt's and Kurt gave his hand a squeeze.
Kurt honestly wasn't sure what he was doing, but Blaine had needed to get away from NYADA. He brought Blaine to Enigma, a gay bar that Kurt became well acquainted with last year.
"How much is cover?" Blaine asked.
"Don't worry about it," Kurt said. He lead Blaine past the roped queue of people and straight to the bouncer. His tight black t-shirt, bald head and bulging muscles made him the epitome of a typical bouncer.
The bouncer immediately recognized Kurt. "Porcelain, it's been a while."
"Yeah, been busy. Brought a friend this time," Kurt nodded to Blaine.
"Cute. Head in," the bouncer winked.
Kurt lead Blaine to coat check. "So you know that guy?" Blaine asked.
"I came here a lot in spring semester last year. It was—I needed something outside of NYADA, and this was it for me. They liked me, the bartenders looked out for me, and, most importantly, never carded me."
Kurt checks his coat and the blazer that was underneath his jacket and tells Blaine to do the same. Kurt is left in a tight waistcoat that flatters his figure fabulously and just rolled up the sleeves of his black dress shirt. "C'mere," Kurt said to Blaine.
"Was trying to impress professors tonight," Blaine said sheepishly.
Kurt smiled softly. "I know. Nothing we can't work with." Kurt pulled off Blaine's bowtie and untucked his blue dress shirt. He rolled up Blaine's sleeves and unbuttoned the top two buttons on his shirt.
"How come you get to keep your bowtie?"
"Goes with the waistcoat. You, on the other hand, look much sexier without it." Kurt noticed a blush go over Blaine's cheeks.
Kurt brought Blaine over to the bar. "Can I order for you?" Blaine nodded.
"I thought we'd lost you babe!" The female bartender, Sarah, greeted Kurt with a huge grin.
"Just needed a break. I brought a friend, Blaine."
"Well then, what can I get you two?"
"Malibu Bay Breezes?"
Sarah made them their drinks and had to run off before Kurt could really talk to her.
"You're popular here," Blaine said.
"Yeah, well, I guess I can sometimes be a decent person."
"More than sometimes." Blaine took a sip. "This is like fruity goodness."
"That's the beauty of it. It gets you drunk without tasting the alcohol. Well, if someone has made it right."
Kurt and Blaine sat and bantered back and forth for a little while, completely ignoring earlier events in the night. It wasn't until Kurt turned to catch Sarah's attention that someone approached Blaine.
Kurt didn't even realize anyone was talking to Blaine until he heard him say, "Really, I'm fine."
Kurt turned to see an attractive older guy getting a little too close to Blaine. "He's here with me," Kurt said, grabbing Blaine's hand.
The guy raised his hands up and walked away. "Sorry," Kurt said. "I just didn't think you looked comfortable. I shouldn't have—"
Blaine squeezed his hand. "I'm here with you," he said.
Kurt's heart raced faster as Blaine held his hand. "Shots?" he asked. Blaine nodded.
Blaine was pretty sure that it was the shots that did him in. They were purple and tasted like candy, but they made everything feel a little looser.
"Three, we should do another!" Blaine smiled.
Kurt raised an eyebrow. "I don't know if that's a good idea."
"It's purple and delicious. Of course it's a good idea."
Kurt laughed and signaled the pretty bartender for another one. Blaine liked her. She was nice.
"I don't want to sip this one," Blaine declared. He hadn't figured out how to down a whole shot in one gulp yet.
"Just relax your throat and swallow quickly." Blaine did it easily.
"No one told me it was like giving a blow job!" Blaine said. "I would've been able to do that from the beginning if someone told me that."
Kurt's mouth opened ever so slightly, but then he just smirked.
Blaine noticed a guy further down the bar doing body shots. "You could do that," Blaine said.
"What? Body shots?"
"Yeah. Guys would totally line up to lick your chest."
Blaine saw Kurt look down and rub the back of his neck. "Did I make Kurt Hummel flustered? Check that off the to-do list."
"Do you want to dance?" Kurt said.
Blaine nodded and they headed onto the dance floor. Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt's neck as they moved to the beat. The remix of some Top 40 R&B song made Blaine's ears ring as he felt Kurt's hands on his waist. He wanted Kurt's hands everywhere though.
Blaine turned around and pressed himself against Kurt. He felt Kurt half-hard against his ass. Kurt took a step back, but Blaine held onto Kurt's arms and wrapped them around his waist again, resting on his stomach.
"Blaine Anderson, you are a professional dancer," Kurt said into his ear.
"So?"
"You've abandoned everything you know and have started grinding."
"Do you like it?" Blaine asked, though he really didn't have to. He could feel Kurt's positive response loud and clear pressed against him.
Kurt sighed. "I've corrupted you."
They dance for a while. Kurt's hands explore Blaine's torso, and Blaine realized that he was the perfect height to rest his head back on Kurt's shoulder.
Eventually, Blaine turned around. Kurt was about to lead him off the dance floor, but Blaine pulls Kurt's hips to his own. Kurt gasped, not anticipating the friction between his and Blaine's hard-ons.
"Blaine," Kurt breathed.
Blaine leaned up and kissed him. Blaine pulled away quickly. "This okay?"
Kurt nodded before leaning in again. As he kissed Blaine, he tasted alcohol and knew neither of them were on the right side of sober. But then again, maybe that's why it's called liquid courage.
Kurt wasn't sure how long they stayed on the dance floor making out, but everything shifted when Blaine whispered in his ear, "Take me home with you."
"You're drunk," Kurt said.
"We had those shots at least an hour ago. Do you know how much I want you every day? How much I wonder where else you have tattoos?" Blaine asked. "Just-God, I want you so badly."
Kurt captured Blaine's mouth again before dragging him to coat check.
Kurt thanks whatever forces in the world made Rachel pick this weekend to visit Ohio. There is a cute boy in his bed and he did not need her to scare him off. Kurt was really hoping that he didn't scare Blaine off himself.
He noticed Blaine start to stir next to him. "Hey," Kurt said as Blaine opened his eyes.
"Hey," Blaine said. He looked slightly disoriented. "Oh god, you probably have stuff to do. I should get out of here. I didn't mean to stay—"
Kurt straddled Blaine's lap to keep him from getting up. "I do not have stuff to do, and you should stay," Kurt said as he kissed Blaine. He saw Blaine's face relax into a smile. "Are we good?" Kurt asked.
"Very," Blaine smiled.
They spent the day around the apartment in their underwear (and sometimes less). Kurt made breakfast for them, and Blaine did the dishes. Kurt felt like he could get used to a cute boy cleaning up after him.
It was decided that Blaine really didn't have to get back to the dorms this weekend, so he stayed in Kurt's apartment. On Sunday morning, Kurt noticed Blaine tracing the tattoo on his arm. "Are you disappointed that there weren't any hidden, surprise tattoos?" Kurt smirked.
"No, I was thrilled. Your ass is just perfect without anything marking it."
"I think you've got a fascination."
"Just-Why? Why get a tattoo in such a prominent place? It makes it harder to get jobs."
"I thought I was going to drop out after my first semester. I got this over break before I decided to come back."
"Why flowers and skulls?"
Kurt kissed his forehead. "I found a journal of my mom's from when she was in college. She was a really good artist. She filled her journal with drawings and quotes and pressed flowers. I guess it was things that inspired her. This was one of her drawings. It was next to a quote from Jim Morrison: 'You feel your strength in the experience of pain.' It was something I needed at the time."
Blaine nodded. "Still think I'm crazy?" Kurt asked.
"I never thought you were crazy. I like it." Blaine pressed a kiss to the tattoo.
Sunday night came and Blaine had to go back to the dorms. Rachel was going be back in the morning, and Kurt thought that she might scare Blaine. There would be screaming followed by accusations that Kurt hid his life from her. Kurt was sure she would make this about her, and he worried Blaine could actually be made to feel guilty by Rachel's craziness. It was better to send him off now.
"We could get coffee tomorrow?" Kurt asked.
"Well, I get my coffee before class, and then I bring it to class. So I don't think so," Blaine said.
"Oh," Kurt said. He tried not to let his face fall.
"Unless you wanted to, you know, actually attend class," Blaine smirked.
"Jerk," Kurt smiled.
"You corrupted me. I plan on doing the same to you."
Kurt leaned in and kissed him. "I will see you for coffee before class tomorrow."
"Good. I'll need it. I'm probably going to be in the studio late tonight."
"Why? Did I cut into your practice time?"
"Not much I just—I want to be better than people expect," Blaine said.
Kurt knew what he meant. Anna and company basically said he wasn't good enough. He wanted to prove them wrong. Kurt knew that this was probably the best direction he could head in.
"I'll help you," Kurt offered.
"Really? You would actually have to come to the studio on, like, a schedule?"
Kurt rolled his eyes. "I want to help you. You're my…Blaine," Kurt said. He immediately regretted it. It sounded so stupid. They spent a weekend in bed together; that didn't make them boyfriends.
"How about I be your boyfriend?" Blaine asked as he squeezed Kurt's hand.
Kurt felt a wave of relief. "I thought you were supposed to be the good one. Isn't the bad one supposed to be all smooth and suave?"
"I hate to tell you this, Kurt, but you're not all that bad." Blaine kissed Kurt again. "I should go."
"I'll see you in class tomorrow."
Blaine didn't like the idea of another person owning him, and Kurt didn't act like he owned Blaine. They work really well together, Blaine thought. Other people, however, seemed to think differently. Blaine was surprised to find that he didn't hate it.
The first week with Kurt wasn't great, but he decided he didn't want to flaunt his relationship around campus. He didn't want people in his business, especially not after everyone he trusted turned out to be planning against him.
Then Anna approached, asking if they could talk.
"I don't really want to hear it, Anna," Blaine said. He saw Kurt from across the student center. He was sitting with Rachel. As soon as Kurt saw Anna, he got up.
"Look, think of it as us doing you a favor. You really aren't ready. It's better that you don't embarrass yourself," Anna said.
"He won't," Kurt said. "Because he's good."
Anna raised her eyebrows. "Seriously? You'll listen to Kurt Hummel? How do you know he isn't trying to screw you over?"
"I don't answer to you anymore, Anna," Blaine said.
"C'mon, sit with me and Rachel," Kurt said as he held Blaine's hand.
When he and Kurt started walking around campus together hand in hand, no one looked twice at Blaine. They didn't approach him. They didn't mock him for believing he had friends in upperclassmen. He liked it. But Anna still had a way of getting to him.
As Kurt helped him in the studio, Blaine was getting better. Kurt was able to tell him all of his tricks and methods. Dancing was like breathing to Kurt, but Blaine had to put more effort in. Kurt was much more patient than Blaine.
Blaine took a particularly hard fall during a session. "Here, walk it off, we'll try again."
"No, don't. Just don't."
"I know you're frustrated, sweetie, but you can get this."
"Why are you helping me? Wouldn't it be better for you if I stayed on my ass? Isn't that what everyone wants?" Blaine yelled.
Kurt stepped back. "Woah, that came out of nowhere."
"Yeah, well…I don't get it, Kurt. I don't get why you like me or why you want to help me. This part can be yours if I never figure this out."
"Blaine, I don't want the part anymore."
"No?"
Kurt knelt down on the floor next to Blaine. "Well, not enough to sabotage you. Look, I care about you a lot. I want you to be happy and successful, and I want you to win."
"Win what?"
"Win against the upperclassmen, the people who think they can just play mind games with people to get them to drop out. I want you to prove them wrong. You can. I know you can," Kurt placed a hand on Blaine's cheek. "Okay?"
Blaine nodded. "Sorry, just…"
"I get it. I do, but I need you to push it all out of your head. Let the story we're telling with the dance be all that's in your head, okay? It'll make the moves come easier. I'm going to grab our water."
Blaine knew he was right. Kurt was very textbook about the dancing, and he was direct when talking about it. In fact, Blaine wasn't sure that he ever heard Kurt say anything good about dance.
"Do you like dancing, Kurt?"
"What? Why?" Kurt asked as he handed Blaine a water bottle.
"You just—when you talk about dancing, it's not like a dancer. You really don't want that feeling on stage when you land the move and everyone applauds? When the blood rushes through your veins and you feel like you're on top of the world? I just could never give that up, even just an opportunity. It's addictive, that feeling."
"I've never felt that way while dancing. It's kind of like a puzzle for me. I feel accomplished once I get it right, and then I move on."
"Have you ever felt that way?" Blaine asked.
Kurt thought for a moment. "Show choir in high school. We went to a lot of competitions. Even if I was just swaying as a backup singer, it was still a rush."
"You should sing to me sometime."
"You should figure out how to keep your weight on the ball of your foot for this move."
Kurt really disliked going to class. Blaine liked it, though, and Kurt decided it was a sacrifice he could make. He even attended his classes without Blaine.
Cassie eventually noticed and called him into her office one afternoon. Kurt assumed it was about his schedule for next semester.
"If this is about switching out of Mathison's class and into LeBeau's next semester, I don't want to hear it. I'd rather have a lobotomy than sit through another term with that woman's PowerPoint lectures," Kurt said as he sat down in front of her desk.
"Good afternoon to you too, Kurt. It's not about that. This is about your performance," Cassie said.
"What could you possibly have a problem with now? I go to class, I do my homework, I eat three balanced meals and go to bed at ten," Kurt huffed. Really, the audacity of Cassandra July was astounding.
Cassie smiled. "That's what I mean. You've been doing really well. Why the change?"
Kurt thought for a moment. He cared about Blaine. He still didn't care about dance, but Blaine wanted him to do this.
"It made someone I care about happy," Kurt answered.
"Well, you should keep them around. Professor Rechnitz is sick today, but he wanted me to offer you the lead in the performance."
"What? What about Blaine?"
"He hasn't been able to land the finale, and Rechnitz doesn't want to risk it. You've really proved yourself these last few weeks, Kurt. I'm really proud of you," Cassie said.
Kurt's heart raced. Blaine couldn't be replaced. He'd been working so hard.
"I won't do it."
"What? Kurt, if you don't do it, we'll still replace him."
"No, just—don't do that to him. I'll understudy him. If he really isn't ready opening night, I'll step in."
"You know that by understudying, you're giving up your part in ensemble? If Blaine performs, you won't be in at all."
"I don't care. Look, I'll work with Blaine. He'll nail the finale, I promise," Kurt said. Kurt realized he didn't care about dance at all. He honestly felt nothing as he turned down one of the best parts of the entire year.
"You know, I've never had this happen before. Even when we know that the two are friends, the replacement is always willing to risk their friendship…you must like Blaine a hell of a lot."
"I love him," Kurt said quietly.
Cassie looked at him with raised eyebrows. "Good luck, Hummel."
Kurt got intense when he focused. Blaine was adjusting to this, but it took some compartmentalizing. He had to separate Kurt the Dance Tutor from Kurt the Boyfriend. Kurt the Dance Tutor was demanding, but he helped. He pinpointed everything Blaine needed to work on and focused on it.
He did a lot of cross training. Running and gymnastics were part of his daily routine now, but at least Kurt worked with him on them. He didn't mind running when it meant Kurt would wear those tiny shorts that he liked.
Blaine was happy that Kurt guided him like this. However, Kurt never told him why.
"You've almost got this down, Blaine," Professor Rechnitz noted.
"Yeah, Kurt's been helping me a lot."
"Strange. Usually our understudies turn against the person who was first cast. I'm glad Kurt decided to break that particular mold."
"What?"
"Kurt. We won't have to call him in as your understudy, at least I don't think so. It appears you'll be just fine by Friday. Ah, it appears we're out of time. Good work, Blaine. Keep it up."
"Thanks," Blaine said as he stood in confusion.
Why was Kurt his understudy? Was he actually trying to set him up? Was Kurt going to do something opening night? Was he doing some twisted repeat of his own history?
He went to Kurt's apartment, where they had planned to meet for dinner while Rachel had a late class.
"Hey!" Kurt greeted Blaine with a hug.
"Hi," Blaine said.
"I've got pork in the oven since it Rachel's night away. Apparently, pig products are not kosher. More excitingly, I've got happy news."
"Kay," Blaine said flatly.
"You okay?" Kurt asked.
"Not really, Kurt. You see, I was just told that my understudy changed a few weeks back," Blaine said calmly.
"Blaine—"
"And apparently my boyfriend is my understudy, which is super weird. Why is it weird?" Blaine's voice started to get louder. "Well, he's been helping me prepare for the part, which is super nice. But now I don't know if he's actually helping me or sabotaging me."
"Blaine, I wouldn't—"
"Wouldn't what? You kept this a secret from me, Kurt. You clearly didn't want me to know."
Kurt slammed a fist on the countertop. "Because I didn't want you to worry! I didn't want you to think you weren't good enough! You get so frustrated with yourself, and you let it get in the way of your dancing. Telling you would have made it harder for you."
Blaine felt his face redden as he got angrier. "So what? This was you protecting me?"
"Kind of, maybe? I just wanted you to be in a positive headspace. I believe in you, Blaine. I know you can do this."
"Yeah? Then why not tell me that? Why not tell me that you're my understudy, and I shouldn't worry?"
"Blaine, you're making a huge deal out of this."
"Because it is a huge deal, Kurt! This is exactly what happened to you last year."
Kurt's voice dropped lower as his eyes narrowed. "Don't you dare compare me to him. You have no idea what I went through. I would never—"
"Are you sure? Because this part was supposed to be yours, Kurt. I hear people talk. I know Rechnitz wanted you. But I'm here instead. You wanted to kill me earlier this semester."
"That was before I knew you, Blaine."
They're silent for a moment. "I think I need space," Blaine said.
Blaine saw the tears form in Kurt's eyes. "Blaine, I'm sorry—"
"No, don't. Just, can we take a breather? Until after the performance? We'll see where we are when the semester ends."
Kurt wiped away the tears that had started to fall down his face. "Y-Yeah, we can do that."
Blaine performed a week later. It had been a hellacious week, working on the finishing touches without Kurt and dealing with their 'break.' He'd gotten through it, though; he'd been able to pull it together for the performance. His brother and his mom even came out to see him. They kept him occupied to look for Kurt after the performance.
Blaine hated himself just a little for thinking that Kurt was trying to sabotage him. He found flowers for him from Kurt backstage. There was just a simple note that said, "Good luck. –Kurt" with a dozen blue roses. Blaine knew he screwed up. He let the paranoia get to him.
After he sent Cooper and his mother off to their hotel, he headed to the after party. It was in some karaoke bar a few blocks away. He spotted Kurt as soon as he walked in. He was sitting at a table with Rachel, but Blaine decided not to approach them. He knew a better way.
No one was participating in a karaoke, which Blaine expected. They would need to be much drunker for that. He got up on stage and talked to the band. They knew the song he wanted, thankfully.
"Hey guys," Blaine said. He received a nice round of hollering and applause. "Thank you guys so much. Tonight was really amazing, and I hope you all have a wonderful time celebrating. None of this would have been possible without the one and only Kurt Hummel. So right now, I'm going to dedicate a song to him."
Well, this wasn't the way Kurt saw this going. He had been hoping Blaine would come and talk to him during the party so they could sort things out. He didn't even know Blaine could sing.
Kurt gasped as the opening notes to Sam Cooke's Bring It on Home to Me played.
"If you ever change your mind
About leaving, leaving me behind.
Oh-oh, bring it to me,
Bring your sweet loving,
Bring it on home to me, yeah yeah yeah."
Kurt remembered the first time Blaine handed him that album. He couldn't stop listening to it for weeks.
"I know I laughed when you left,
But now I know I only hurt myself.
Oh-oh, bring it to me,
Bring your sweet loving,
Bring it on home to me, yeah yeah yeah."
Kurt smiled as Blaine serenaded him. It wasn't really necessary. He would have been paranoid about everything too. He enjoyed himself, though. He was glad Rachel was getting this on her phone because he wanted to have this performance to watch over and over.
As Blaine finished the song, he received some well-deserved applause before heading straight to Kurt.
"Rachel, give us a few."
Rachel frowned. "You guys never let me hang out with you."
"Just think of it like finally having siblings," Blaine said. She glared before leaving.
"I'm sorry," Blaine said.
"It's okay. I mean, I was hurt, but I understood. I get it. Hell, I went through it so I definitely get it. I'm sorry too. I should've been upfront about everything," Kurt said.
"No, I overreacted."
"Maybe you did, but not without reason. I'm not mad at you, Blaine. I think a breather was good. It let me focus on me."
"So we're good?" Blaine asked.
Kurt reached across the table and kissed him. "We're good," Kurt said.
"So what did you do with your 'me time' this week?" Blaine asked.
"I transferred schools," Kurt said casually.
"What?! Kurt, no, were you leaving because of me? I won't overreact again. I swear I—"
"Calm down," Kurt laughed. "I won't be going far. I just transferred from The School of Dance to The School of Music."
"Really? I mean, congratulations! I'm so proud of you, but why switch?"
"You know how you explained to me how dance made you feel once? I realized that I don't feel a damn thing when I dance. I'm supposed to be an artist, but there isn't any feeling behind what I'm doing. I came here for dance because I was offered a full scholarship, and I didn't know if I'd ever get an offer as good from a music school. I didn't want my dad to worry about tuition."
"So what changed? I know you still worry about your dad worrying more than anything else in the world," Blaine smiled.
"Well, you changed everything. You made me realize that I have to at least give my dreams a chance. I don't want to live my life without ever feeling that exhilarating performance feeling again. So I figured, if worse came to worst, I would double major to keep my scholarship."
"Oh god, you're going to do two NYADA programs? We're going to need an espresso machine. This is going to require so much caffeine."
Kurt laughed. "You know, it turns out that male countertenors are a rarity, and NYADA was willing to offer an impressive scholarship to get one. It isn't full tuition, but it's enough. I can drop dance and study music."
"Kurt!" Blaine jumped out of his seat and hugged him. "That's so great."
Kurt's heartbeat sped up, but he knew it was time to say it. "I love you," Kurt said in his ear.
"I love you too," Blaine said without any hesitation.
Kurt laughed. He shouldn't have been nervous at all. "What's so funny?" Blaine asked.
"I'm just happy…I haven't been this happy in a really long time."
"I'm glad. I want you to be happy. I want to make you happy."
"You do. Every day."
"You know what would make us both happy?"
"What?"
"Getting a cheesecake and going back to your apartment."
"Food and sex is indeed the way to my heart," Kurt chuckled. "But you have to talk to your adoring public first."
Blaine rolled his eyes. "I'm making a quick round and then we're getting cheesecake."
Kurt laughed as he watched his boyfriend get up to talk to people. Rachel quickly returned to take his place. "Details. I want to know everything."
Kurt could go into details, but the details weren't all that important. "We're happy," he said simply.
"My, my. Blaine Anderson made Kurt Hummel go soft."
"Oh, trust me, he makes me anything but soft."
"Kurt!"
"By the way, can you sleep at Santana's place tonight so I can have reunion sex?"
"Kurt Hummel!" Rachel laughed as she lightly smacked his arm. Then he voice softened. "I mean it though. You're different. I like it, but Blaine Anderson definitely made you different very quickly."
"Blaine Anderson made me happy," Kurt said. "And that's a very good feeling."
A/N: Reviews are appreciated!