Save Me From The Hanging Tree, a hunger games fanfic

Are you, are you
Coming to the tree
Where they strung up a man they say murdered three.
Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree.

Are you, are you
Coming to the tree
Where the dead man called out for his love to flee.
Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree.

Are you, are you
Coming to the tree
Where I told you to run so we'd both be free.
Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree.

Are you, are you
Coming to the tree
Wear a necklace of rope, side by side with me.
Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree.

I stared up at the tree: the Hanging Tree. It's around midnight and there are two ropes hanging from the thick branch. The screams of those who hung from it have killed the tree. A hole in its trunk shows me that all that is inside is dead, rotting wood. Perhaps the dead have taken their revenge on the tree that has taken their lives. No one will ever know.

Thunder strikes. I don't flinch. I've lost the ability to feel any emotions. The tree lights up by one of nature's most disastrous children. The lightning casts a light over my world but adds no colours. It remains black and white. It had begun to rain and my dark hair sticks to my skin. I brush it from my face and throw my braid over my shoulder. My hand touches my bony collarbone and shoulder. Ever since Peeta died, I have stopped eating. Haymitch and Effie wild try and feed me but I refuse. Sometimes I will force it out after they leave. I just can't keep it in. Everything tastes horrible.

In my head, I replay the months that led to Peeta's death. How he would get weaker with each day and how all blood fled from his face. His cheekbones began to almost poke through his skin and in the end, he couldn't lift a finger. I sat by his side as he lost the fight to an enemy the world's doctors thought they had defeated many years ago. They were wrong.

I think of our two children, the two miracles Peeta had wanted so much. The three of us would light up his world. He lit up mine and now that he's gone, there is no more colour. I didn't leave our children unattended in this cold, dark night. Annie has proven herself to be very good with children and since our children get along remarkably well, Annie and her son live with us in District Twelve. No longer is she insane or even somewhat bedraggled. Yes, sometimes she leaves this world but that is only to join her true love for a little while. I do the same every night in my dreams when I dream my boy with the bread is holding me, chasing the nightmares away. I would say Annie is saner than I am.

I have no doubt that my children will be okay after I finish my task here in the Hanging Tree. I have tried to move on but I can't. How can I move on without my parents, my lovely Prim and my Peeta. Even Gale has left me. Sometimes I think that he has joined the ones I miss most and that that is why he never returned.

I see how Prim looks at me and opens her mouth to call my name. I hear Peeta's last staggering breath. I smell the smoke coming from the coalmines. I read the message of my mother's death. I look into Rue's empty eyes. I feel the last beat of Bogg's heart under my hand. I am too late to stop Mags from running into the fog. I see Cinna being dragged away. Wiress' body flashes before my eyes. I hear the crack of Finnick's neck. The light melting off Messalla's flesh blinds me. I hear the screams of Leeg One, Castor, Homes and Jackson before the Mutts stop their hearts. I see how one of the Morphlings throws herself in front of Peeta to be killed by the monkeys. I see the dart going in Leeg Two's head. I see Peeta push Mitchell back, triggering a pod. I imagine how the people in Twelve died in the bombings, I see their bones on the ground. I see all the Tributes killed at the Cornucopia. I hear the scream of the girl who made the fire before the Careers take her life. I even hear Clove's screams for Cato. I barely recognize Glimmer on the ground. I hear the sound of my arrow connecting with Marvel's neck. I despise my smile next to Foxface's corpse. I see Thresh's face in the sky. Cato's eyes plead me to kill him. I remember it all. And I know why I am here.

I have seen too much death, have been the cause of too many last heartbeats. I cannot live while I'm dead on the inside. Peeta was always better with our children. Annie is better with them than I am. What reason do I have to live?

I take a deep breath and step closer to the Hanging Tree. I step up the box under the rope and put it around my thin neck. The rain pours down my face as the drops that missed me attack the ground with a thousand thuds a second, creating a symphony. I don't bother to brush the wet hair from my face again, even though it limits my vision. I look up to the sky with its thunder, lightning and rain. In my head, I say goodbye to those who might still care about me. I close my eyes and hook the nose of my right foot behind the crate. I kick it away.

Are you, are you
Coming to the tree
Where they strung up a man they say murdered three.
Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree.

Are you, are you
Coming to the tree
Where I told you to run so we'd both be free.
Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree.

Are you, are you
Coming to the tree
Wear a necklace of rope, side by side with me.
Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree.

I don't hang. I lay. On the ground. ...Why?

"What are you doing, Brainless?"

I look up to see a person in the dark. Had it not been for the nickname of so many years ago, I wouldn't have known. Johanna Mason.

"Get up." she orders. "Stop being pathetic. Get up."When I don't move and just stare at her, she walks up to me and picks me up from the ground with surprisingly delicate hands. I move my hand to my neck and feel the necklace of ropes in place. The rope has been cut. In the dark, I can see Johanna's smile and a sparkle in her brown eyes.

"Long live District Seven and its axes."

Before I can react, Johanna takes my hand and walks with me, back to town. Her skin is warm against mine. Mine must be cold from standing in the rain for so long. I think of my children, Annie and her son. Are they still asleep? Have they noticed I'm gone? Is that why Johanna is here?

As if the woman has read my mind, she says "I'm not here because someone realized you're feeling sorry for yourself. I'm here because Annie wanted me to come for her son's birthday."

I remember: his birthday is in three days. I don't even feel insulted by Johanna's demeaning tone and words. It's Johanna Mason. I can hear a slight tone of worry in her raw voice, if I'm not mistaking. Now that I think of her and feel her near me, I realize that the deceased aren't the only ones I miss. I can't deny that I missed this woman's remarks, her expressions, her dark eyes and her perfectly imperfect laugh. I missed her.

Without me noticing that we have crossed the woods, I must really be lost in my own mind, Johanna guides me into a house. My house. I left my door open, I remember. It's a habit. Panem is too wealthy under President Paylor for there to be thieves and even if there were some, there are barely enough people in District Twelve to do the work. Most have no time to steal.

Johanna sits me down on the couch and takes of my father's old hunter's jacket off. It's soaked. I still haven't said a word. As if she's been living in my house her whole life, she walks up the stairs, effectively missing every squeaking step, and quickly comes back down with a large towel and warm clothes for me.

"Arms up."

I do as I'm told and lift my arms. Without as much as a blink, she takes off my shirt. She rubs the soft towel over my torso with the same delicate and careful hands and moves the towel up to my neck and head. She takes the band from the bottom of my braid and grabs a comb, earlier hidden between the towel and the clothes. Effortlessly she combs out my braid and then continues to dry my hair as she runs her soft hands through it. Once my upper body is dry, she repeats her earlier demand and I lift my arms again. She puts a dry, thick shirt on me and then repeats almost the whole process, minus the hair, with my legs after a short demand.

I watch her as she works. She changed. All of her hair has grown back, it has grown a lot. She has beautiful long, black hair now. She is skinny but healthy. There is only a small sign of pain in her eyes, remotely smaller than in the eyes of most Victors. She doesn't seem to be hurting, she seems worried about me, which is strange enough as it is. This ís still Johanna Mason, right? But she changed, for the better.

Once I am all warm and dry, she tells me "Goodnight, Brainless.". She walks towards the stairs. My best guess is that she claimed one of the guest rooms. Before she can disappear, I say her name.

"Johanna."

My voice is raw and croaks. The cold rain has taken its toll. I deserve it. Johanna turns around with one foot on the fifth step and one of the fourth. Her dark eyes gaze into my light ones expectantly.

"Hmm?"

"Thank you."

Johanna smiles warmly at me and nods. As she continues to climb the stairs, I get up and follow her.

As I lay in my own bed a while later, staring at the ceiling, I remember something.

When Johanna and I were roommates in District 13, she would be restless and unable to sleep until I calmed her down and held her until she fell asleep. After Peeta died, I copied that. Only now, I have no one to hold me in my sleep any longer. I lift myself from my bed as images of myself hanging from the tree flash before my eyes.

Suddenly, I realize Johanna saved my life. And with that possibly those of my children, Annie and who knows. I begin to realize important things. Haymitch and Effie need me to balance out their relationship. As well as they go together, sometimes one side takes the upper hand and then one of them calls me to stand on the other side of the scale to make it even. The people in the Hob that have returned still expect me to bring them things I hunt, as I do and am teaching my children. Annie needs me too. She is good with children and is saner than any random person you could pick in the street but she still has her Victor's breakdowns. And like how I needed Johanna tonight to save me from one of mine, I realize that my urge to 'hang from the Hanging Tree so I might be free' was that, Annie needs me to save her from hers when hers come. And my children... how could I be so stupid? I can see Peeta's hurt eyes before me as I think of how he would have felt had I really left them.

I stood, ready to hang from a dead branch to put my children on the exact same path as my mother put me. She had been dead inside as well after my father had died. I had done exactly what I had despised when I was young. With their father, my beloved Peeta, gone and me following in his footsteps, this would have become a family tradition. That is, if they would have tortured themselves long enough to have children.

But now that won't happen. Because I am not hanging: Johanna saved me. Maybe Johanna needs me too, in a way. I know now that I need her. I need my old friend who has changed so much, so in a way, I need my new friend. And all I can do is hope that she needs me, too. Maybe we can fill each other's voids.

Before I know it, I'm at the door of the guest room Johanna is occupying. I open it silently, knowing how to keep it from croaking. There she lies. Her long lashes drooping over her pure but aged face, aged by life, not time. But she's awake.

"Katniss..?" her voice fills the cold night. It makes it warmer.

"Can I lay with you?" I ask hesitantly. "I... I need you."

I see Johanna's blanket move and see she's making room for me by shuffling to the right. Perfect, my side is the left anyway. As I lay down and curl myself up in Johanna's protecting arms which she seemingly carelessly wraps around me, I ban the bad thoughts from my mind. And as she feels my arms wrap around her waist, I know she's doing the same. I will able miss Peeta and everyone else I've lost. I will never really heal and probably, neither will Johanna or Annie. But we can get by. And somehow, as I lie here in the arms of a friend, companion, I know we just saved each other from meeting up at midnight in the Hanging Tree.

(I don't own the Hunger Games)