Missing - Chapter 1

The insertion point seemed to flash in slow motion, mocking the intense gaze staring a hole into it. Its reflection flicked softly on the reflection of her glasses as she tapped her finger gently on the keys. She had meant to have completed this assignment weeks ago, but procrastination won her over whenever responsibility quietly reminded her that yes, you really need to get your shit together, Luka.

With a sigh she tilted her head back against the chair and stroked the stray pale strands from her face. She spent too much time ignoring it, so now that panic had settled in as the due date drew closer she found herself unable to actually write anything at all. Her mind was a blank. It had been a blank all week... all month. No. All year? She wasn't sure anymore. Her mind was in such of state of chaos for so long, she was completely incapable of pin-pointing that exact moment when this happened.

Okay, maybe that wasn't completely true. She kind of knew. She knew. Just didn't want to admit it, anything but that. But if she wanted to survive and succeed in her education, then maybe it was about time she swallowed that hard truth.

With a click, she navigated her browser to a well used bookmark of JustBFriends, the current and most popular social networking site that most people under 60 seemed glued to for one reason or another. Luka closed her eyes and took a deep breath followed by another click.

Hatsune Miku.

Luka tensed up, clenched her teeth a bit. Simply reading her name felt like a sharp needle pricking her chest. It wasn't entirely horrible but just enough so that it causes one to be avoidant of the cause. A sharp exhale steeled her for the next obstacle. Her eyes slowly scrolled down to the box of colour that was the dreaded profile picture.

Why did she have to be so beautiful.

The needle seemed to dig into her a little deeper, somehow made worse by the fact that she was smiling so happily. It was genuine and innocent and warm, like she could melt away your troubles with that simple gesture alone. Only, she wasn't alone in the profile picture. That made it all worse. Far worse.

Luka covered her mouth. The little prickling suddenly increased to tenfold and she gritted her teeth, almost chewing her bottom lip. She managed to push the cursor over the small mail icon underneath that dazzling, wonderful smile, but not before angrily swatting the cursor over the other person's face for a moment. Pointless, yet slightly therapeutic.

Once more, the fucking insertion point seemed to mock her, 'tick-tock, here I am and here I'm not. You gonna write this message or not?' Where would she even begin? It was all pretty messed up. Should she even say anything? If she didn't, keeping silent would drive her insane. If she did, there was a chance of making Miku very unhappy. An unhappy Miku may withdraw from her.

Ouch. That realization seemed to hurt.

Her eyes drifted away from the screen as her fingertips contemplated the deciding act, the possibly final one.

Click.

"Hey. Can we talk? In person."

Click.

Hopefully she'd read it soon. Her hands began to shake as she took a much needed breath, the adrenaline beginning to leave her system. Maybe now she could finally have a little peace and actually work on that assignment-

Ping!

Or she could have a second panic attack and throw her future in the trash, that works too. With a heavy or light heart, it could not decide, she hurried to open the newly obtained message.

"Sure! Can I come over?"

'Yes. No. I don't know. Maybe? Dammit.' Luka's fingers rapidly tapped at the keys as her heart rate began to skyrocket. Okay, calm down. This was okay. It was normal. She just wants to come over. She has done a lot already! They were friends! Why was she trying to rationalize this!?

"Yeah."

While she frantically pondered if sending a one word response was weird or not (by her standards) she closed her laptop and set out to make her living space just a bit more welcoming for her special guest.

A gentle knock at her apartment door snapped Luka out of a fretting daze. Lightly adjusting herself and checking her glasses in the mirror at the small entryway, she slowly opened the door and felt the panic turn into real excitement.

"Hi, Luka!" Miku greeted her so happily and with such a warm energy. It was hard not to fall for. It wasn't just her lips that curled into a smile, but her whole being seemed to express it. Luka found her gaze softening as she felt the smaller girls presence enter her home.

"Hey, Miku." She greeted back quietly with a smile of her own. The one that's faint but can't seem to wipe off your face. The one that lets you know you're doomed. The younger girl casually made herself at home, sitting down on the nearby couch that could only fit two while the older woman ventured into the kitchenette to start brewing tea, as was the custom or ritual for them whenever they'd visit each other.

There was a moment of silence while Miku concentrated on taking her jacket off and absent-mindedly began checking her phone once hands were free, oblivious to the familiar sound of metal clacking against porcelain and eventual footsteps. And just like that, a cup of tea magically appeared on a coaster in front of her on the coffee table. She spoke a quiet thank you, generously giving her friend another warm smile. Luka nodded, unintentionally snapshotting it and filing it under 'luckiest girl' which was suspiciously close to 'unluckiest girl'. She set down her own tea and sat opposite the tealette.

As Miku took a sip and savoured the flavour and heat, warming her hands around the mug, she said something that caught her unfortunate friend off guard.

"I'm so happy you messaged me." Luka tried her best not to inhale her hot drink, her brow furrowed in confusion. She was definitely not prepared for that. "It feels like we keep missing each other lately." She continued. The older woman nodded lightly. She couldn't really deny it. There had been a few reasons why that was. The both of them had their own degrees to work for, social lives to manage, part time jobs and paying bills and the like. But the main reason that wasn't known to the younger girl, is that Luka had been purposely avoiding her.

"Yeah, sorry, life can get pretty crazy." She took a sip from her mug trying to brush it off as nothing. "I've still not finished my final paper." Luka rolled her eyes as Miku giggled.

"Still? You're blowing it off, aren't you?" She smiled knowingly. The pinkette couldn't really deny it, nodding and stifling a laugh.

"Very much so." Hopefully she'd never know the main reason. A secret for the time being.

"So what was it you wanted to talk about?" Luka froze, her movements stiff. Miku looked on, her expression turning to that of concern and leaned in as if she were about to reach over and take her hand. Those bright green eyes peered into her. It was almost unsettling. Carefully, she put down her mug and sighed through a pained smile.

"It's um... it's about Len." She paused, letting that simple information sink in. "He's not being faithful." Again, a pause, mentally preparing herself to present the case. Miku's eyes cast downward, her expression not so readable anymore. Knowing that she might be in pain, Luka began to feel the sting of guilt. "I'm sorry. I-"

"I kind of already knew." Both of them fell silent, the air in-between becoming unfamiliar and uncomfortable. Luka's face contorted in confusion. She half gestured with her head to the side and became unsure of opening her mouth. Miku's gaze returned to her with a sad smile. "We're going through some things."

"What happened?" The older woman's voice was soft. Quiet.

"We broke up a few days ago." It seemed like she wanted to say more but decided against it, taking a sip from her mug instead. Silence fell upon them again.

"I'm sorry. I saw him at Kaito's house party last week being curiously close to someone else. I saw on accident." Miku set down her mug and sighed, leaning back into the chair and listening. "I had debated telling you sooner but I..." Luka frowned.

"...But what?"

"Every time I saw you two, you looked so happy together. I just... I don't know. Anyway, I'm sorry. I should have said something sooner." Luka shook her head and Miku shrugged with a somewhat forced smile.

"It's okay. It was over before that." The pinkette tilted her head slightly. "You already know I wasn't feeling... that way about him." There was something about the way the smaller girl held her gaze that struck her as odd. It was so subtle, however, she couldn't recognise it. "Were you worried about me?" Luka let out a laugh. Of course she was. It was obviously obvious.

"Yeah. I'm still sorry it turned out this way." Miku's expression softened. "I'm here if you need to talk about it." There was a short, more comfortable silence this time. The aroma of tea in the air, the heat around their hands and the presence of a good friend's company. Luka suddenly grimaced.

Friend. Somehow that word made her feel ill. She decided to drown that feeling with more tea.

"I would if you weren't so busy." The tealette grinned playfully, obscuring it with the clasped mug. And just like that, the sickly sensation seemed to diffuse.

"Okay, you got me there. But I mean it." What she had witnessed wasn't the only reason she was avoiding her friend, but distancing herself entirely wasn't an option. She wasn't a teenager where she could run away from her problems. However, she hoped that her dear friend would never find out the real reason. The secret. The truth.

"Since I'm here and all... I wanna be a lil' selfish!" The younger girl piped up, beaming some wondrously mischievous smile. Luka became worried. "Since we haven't seen each other recently..." Luka became very worried. "Can I have you all to myself tonight?"

Luka gripped the mug so hard it could have broken into pieces, and her heart rate spiked high enough to pierce through her chest. And yet, she managed to maintain a cool facade. "What did you have in mind?" She said coolly. With a delighted smile, Miku set down the mug in case she also broke hers in excitement and raced to the stack of shelves housing a small collection of DVD's. It did not take long for her to find the one she wanted, holding it out with arms outstretched and a serious look on her face. Luka took a much needed breath and leaned back. "Fiiiiine."

She kind of hated herself right now but she was equally happy, too. It really had been some time where it was just the two of them hanging out and being relatively normal, something Luka had really missed. It took a while to adjust to her friend's former partner but as the two appeared happy, she swallowed her own feelings and allowed them to be... them. And it hurt. At first it did. Quite a lot. The first few weeks when she introduced him to her, it was having to swallow a ball of razor blades and keep it there to cut into her every time he made her laugh. It was hell. But as far as pain and suffering goes, it was a tame one. And a tame hell could be lived in, she found. Those weeks turned to months, then it became easier.

But now she had to deal with this change. The change of maybe being as close as they once were but with the sick realization that she had come to think of Miku very fondly, more than your average best friend should. It was as if she had betrayed her, broken some sacred oath by falling for her. The conflict within didn't want to subside, especially now since the tea turned to wine and were both huddled up on the couch under a blanket as some Korean romance drama played out in front of them. The tealette's eyes were transfixed, completely absorbed into the insane story of whatever was going on. Luka had tried to concentrate, but it was nigh impossible when Miku's very being was inside her comfort zone.

The mental tug of war was exhausting her, and she yawned.

"Bored?" Miku asked, turning to meet Luka's gaze.

"No no... I'm tired, that's all." She flashed a smile to reassure before turning her attention back to the screen. The younger girl mulled the thought over.

"Are you okay?" Luka nodded in response. It did not satisfy as an answer. "You know..." She shuffled under the blanket and cuddled up to the older woman's side, resting her chin on her shoulder. "Remember when I talked to you about Len? About when I doubted my feelings for him?"

Oh, shit. Luka tensed up, the defensive cool facade came back automatically. "I remember."

"We talked about being in love. What it felt like. How it should feel like." She paused. Luka's heart raced. "I-..." Miku stopped herself in her tracks, clearly having second thoughts. Luka tried to search her eyes for an answer, her heart beating so fast it felt still inside her throat. She closed her eyes and let herself relax against the older woman. "Never mind. I'll talk about it later."

Luka gently let out that held breath she forgot she was holding, her mind frantic with a few hundred thoughts on what exactly Miku wanted to talk about. It was definitely going to keep her up all night.

She still had no idea what was going on in this drama series and why she even owned it in the first place.