It was almost fifteen years. Yet, I still cannot forget the first time we met. It was one of the happiest days of my life, and I treasure it.
I was only five year old that time, running as fast as I could while waving a frying pan on my left hand and carrying a paper bag of sweets on the other. I was rushing to the hospital because of my sick brother, Romania.
Before I could even reach my brother's room, I saw you staring at the empty walls. Your red eyes looked so sad. Determined to make you feel happy, I called out the first name that popped on my head, "Gil."
Luckily, you looked at me and smiled weakly. I pushed the glass doors open upon realizing that my guess was correct. Gilbert Beilschmidt. That's your name. You asked me how I know your awesome name, and I answered that it was a lucky guess, giggling.
"I am Elizaveta Hedervary and I live in Hungary," I said, stretching out my hand. You shook my hand and we made most of the afternoon by chatting. You told me you're sick with a disease, the same disease that killed your younger brother. I felt sorry for your story, and I promised you that I'll do something to help you get cured. You smiled at me and mouthed the word 'Impossible.' I smacked you with my frying pan and screamed that you should not think that way.
"There's something I can do," I cried.
You patted my head and said, "Awesome people don't die." You wiped the tears from my green eyes and handed me a little yellow chick plushie. I decided to call it Gilbird, naming it after your awesome name.
The next day, I was very excited to go to the hospital. Not to visit my brother, but to check on you. You became pale, I noted. But you told me it was normal. Though I know it isn't, I simply convinced myself with your statements. The rooftop was bare and empty. You sat down and asked me to sit beside you. I took out a couple of chocolate bars and shared it with you. You were very happy. I know those weren't enough to wipe away those sorrow caused by your disease, but somehow I felt happy that you are now smiling... truthfully.
Before I left, you asked me to come close to you. You leaned close to my left ear and whispered three words that I've always wanted to tell you. But I felt too shy to reply so I decided to tell you the same thing tomorrow.
But there was no tomorrow. You weren't in your room. I asked one lady in white where you went, and she answered that there's no chance of you coming back. My world felt like it crumbled to dust. I ran upstairs to the rooftop but you weren't there. I pulled Gilbird tight to my chest and cried. I blamed myself for not telling you how much I love you. Now that you are gone, I cannot tell you what I really feel. I regretted the time when I felt shy and refused to reciprocate your feelings.
Now I'm already a lady. Fifteen years. I still have Gilbird by my side, and there's no second that I take it off my sight. I live with my fiancé, and we are happy together. He's not like you, he doesn't consider himself as awesome. But you are still my first love, and I can't forget about you, Gil. And never will I.
It's too late to say this now but... I love you, Gilbert Beilschmidt.