You have to get up.
I'd let him sleep as long as I could. Looking at him as he slept, the first full nights sleep he'd had in a week, I was loath to wake him but I knew I had to.
"Aaron, baby... You need to get up now.." Shaking Him gently.
I already had his suit laid out for him, I wanted to make today as easy as possible... Not that that was likely. Today was going to be impossible for everyone, none more so than him.
"The car will be here soon baby, you have to get up" wiping my own tears away, I left our room and went to the kitchen, sitting down at the breakfast bar to wait. Gone were the coffee cups and breakfast plates, now replaced with plates of sandwiches.
Rossi had offered to do this at his place, but Aaron had put his foot down. It was one of the only things that had gotten him to talk in over a week, he's so broken... Well truth be told we both are, and I know nothing I can say will make this pain go away. What do you do? What do you say when your partner partly blames you for the worst thing in the world happening to him? And what do you do when you know he's right?
Two weeks ago the team had been summoned to work a case in North Dakota. I'd meant to call Jessica before we left for the airport, I'd even had my phone in my hand ready to dial just as Garcia dragged me into her lair on the verge of tears. One look at my friend in pain and all thoughts of my phone call disappeared. It turned out that Morgan had upset Garcia with some stupid insensitive comment about her necklace which was her mothers. By time she had calmed down and stopped wishing the pox on Morgan, Aaron was standing in the doorway ready with our go bags.
It was half way through the flight when Aaron got the call. I knew something was wrong when the hand on my knee squeezed a little too tightly, frowning I had looked up at him in time to see the blood drain from his face as his eyes bored into mine. "Why didn't you call jess?" Was the only thing he said. For an hour that was all he would say, I knew the signs of shock but I needed to know what had happened.
"Aaron, talk to me. What's wrong? I meant to call jess but Garcia needed me and it just slipped my mind" he had looked at me then, and for a moment I had thought he was going to hit me.
"Slipped your mind?! My son is dead and that's all you can say?!"
Two weeks ago I had forgotten to call Jessica to ask her to pick Jack up from school, and now I was sat in the kitchen in my best suit waiting for his father to get dressed for his son's funeral. Because I'd forgotten to call Jessica no one had been there to meet Jack from school, we didn't live far from the school, so he decided to walk home. At that same time Craig Carvell, a lowlife drunk had gotten behind the wheel of his car. Apparently he'd run out of beer and was making a run to the store, he'd dropped his can on the floor of the car and had taken his eyes off the road to look for it just as Jack had started to cross the road. Craig never even saw him. The medical examiner told us Jack would have felt little or no pain at the time of impact and that he had died almost instantly. There really isn't any such thing as small comforts.
"Stop it." I looked up just as Aaron came in, I knew he didn't want to see me crying, I didn't deserve to cry. If it wasn't for me Jack would still be here, so I wiped my eyes and got up from my seat. I thought it would be better to stay out of Aaron's way today and was about to walk into the living room when he took my hand... The first contact he'd initiated in two weeks.
"Please stop It, I know it wasn't your fault Spencer. You have to stop blaming yourself too. I've already lost Jack. I can't lose you too." I knew he was lying, knew that Aaron blamed me for what happened and I knew he was right to. One phone call was all I'd had to make, one thing and today would be so very different. But he was trying and I loved him more than anything. I would do anything for Aaron, anything he asked and because of that, I would be whatever he needed. I don't know if we will get through this but I'm going to fight for Aaron, because he needs me to be strong for the both of us.