Dear Levi,
How are you doing? Do you miss me?
If you are reading this letter it is because I am already dead, I asked my father to make sure you would get this if I were to die before we could get married.
Silly is it not? For all this time, every since I met you I've known deep inside that you were someone I would love and cherish, even when we were kids and we used to fight all the time.
Yet I have been too shy to admit openly how I felt about you before. I only even told my family some time after joining the Scouting Legion and realising how unlikly it would be for us to live very long. You were always so strong though... I could never allow myself to show weakness infront of you because I thought it might have slowed you down if you had to worry about me, you were already so busy worrying about everything else.
Do you remember the night you told me about your own feelings for me? I do, it was the happiest moment of my life, and if there is anything I regret it is not giving you the answer I wanted to give. I was too scared... And I am so sorry.
I wish I was a stronger person, a person that could have confessed to you directly with words. Yet sometimes it felt like you knew anyway. Like when we kissed for the first time and everything felt so good the hours we spent together. You remember that too, right?
It seems like all I have left of you now are the memories we share. As you told us many times, we must give up our humanity to become monsters that can bring humanity victory over the titans. So we gave up our humanity and became soldeirs... For the sake of that cause.
If one day we can get our humanity back, if we both live long enough to see a safer world without the titans then we will spend our time in that world together just like we promised eachother back then, and there is nothing else I wish for. We agreed we could not bring any children into this world, and that we have no choice but to put our emotions aside for the sake of our duty. Sometimes, I wonder if that was really necessary. Those nights I cry myself to sleep wishing you could lie there beside me and make the pain go away, but I remember my duty. I will not fail to serve my purpose for the sake of my own selfish wishes and I know you will understand why I did not come to you no matter how lonely we both are.
I am certain, that if we both do not make it to see the world of peace we dream of then I will be the first to die. I know that you have what it takes to win this war so do not eber give up, okay? That is an order you hear! If you break it I will come back to haunt you forever!
I want you to live in happiness for at least your last years, so please do not ever stop fighting for your dream, our dream, of a beautiful world without terror.
I love you.
Petra.