RWBY Plays Grim Fandango – A RWBY Let's Play-style fanfiction by Fireball Dragon
Chapter #1 – The Travel Agency of the Dead (?!)
Dragon's Notes: Hello there! Well, would you look at this? An original reaction fanfiction by me? Who would've guessed? I suggest you read the Luke VS Harry chapter of my remastered "RWBY Watches DEATH BATTLE!" fanfiction to understand.
Grim Fandango was such a great game, with a truly inspired aesthetic, charming characters, witty dialogue, and an engaging story. Some of the puzzles were a bitch to solve, but overall, it was an amazing and memorable experience.
If you haven't played it, do it. Now. Like, seriously, the idea's supposed to be that you've played the game before you start reading this fanfiction. Almost none of this is gonna make any sense if you don't.
If/When you've actually played through the entire game, though…
Enjoy the first chapter.
RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, ScrewAttack, and Monty Oum (RIP).
Grim Fandango belongs to Double Fine and Tim Schafer.
I own NONE of this.
It was a nice and cool weekend at Beacon Academy, as Team RWBY headed back to their dorm room after FINALLY surmounting the difficult tests they were subject to in the days before.
As Ruby opened the door, she and her teammates were shocked to find… A gigantic box, the size of a small fridge tipped over on its side, lying on the middle of the floor.
"Another package?" Asked Ruby.
"Do you think it's from the same guy who gave us those Death Battle videos?" Weiss wondered.
As they approached the box, they saw a manila envelope on top. Ruby opened the envelope and read the enclosed letter out loud.
"Hail and well met to the ones who've received this package! Congratulations are in order, as you have been randomly selected as candidates for the initial trial run of the Interdimensional Let's Play Initiative!
What's the Interdimensional Let's Play Initiative, you ask? Simply put, we, the ones who've delivered this package, hail from another universe.
We have just discovered the means to perform interdimensional travel, and while it might seem odd to some, we've decided to try and help those dwelling in other universes such as yours to indulge in and hopefully enjoy the many, many video games we cherish here in our homeworld.
Enclosed in the package are several video games (All in disc form), a specialized gaming console known as the Gameplayer 255X, and an assortment of cables that can hook the Gameplayer up to just about any television set.
We hope you enjoy what we've offered, and please do not worry; all of your reactions while playing these games will automatically be relayed back to us. How? It's better if you don't ask.
Sincerely,"
The signature was blurred and could not be read.
"Okay, so it's NOT the same guy." Confirmed Weiss.
"Holy crap, some people from another dimension wanted to share their video games with us?" Said Yang in amazement. "That's awesome!"
"Well, why not play while the playing's good?" Said Ruby.
After Ruby used Crescent Rose to prop open the top of the package like a crowbar, the girls found what the letter said was inside; games, a console, and multiple cables.
First, they decided to hook up the console to their TV. While the package had multiple cables contained inside, they only needed a few. After which, they hooked up the four controllers the console came with.
Finally, they looked inside the library of games inside the package and pondered which game they should play first. There were just so many of them…
Ruby just decided to pick one at random. After closing her eyes and reaching inside, she grabbed a random game.
The game she grabbed had these weird-looking, but kinda cute skeletons on the cover, almost resembling figurines. In big bold letters, the words "Grim Fandango" stood on top.
"Grim Fandango?" Asked Ruby curiously. "Is it some sort of dancing game?"
"Only one way to find out." Responded Blake. She in particular was especially intrigued by this game.
Ruby activated the TV, then the Gameplayer, changed the TV's video input accordingly, and popped in the disc.
After the startup sequence, they saw the title of the game appear over a shot what appeared to be a table, with four tiny skeleton figures and an ashtray with a lit cigarette on top.
"So, it's like a film noir story, then?" Asked Weiss. The girls were further intrigued.
Just then, the game zoomed out to show a skeleton man in a green suit and hat sitting at the table that the title was displayed over. He was waiting in what appeared to be some kind of dimly-lit office.
The door from outside the office opened up, and in walked in another figure, apparently wearing a hood of some sort, and carrying what looked to be a scythe. RWBY was anxious, as they gathered an idea of just who this figure was.
"It can't be…" Blake said, dumbfounded.
"Do you think it's the… the…" Ruby didn't dare to finish that sentence.
Hooded man: Sorry for the wait, Mr. Flores. I am ready to take you now.
Flores: Take me? Take me where?
"He sounds nervous." Said Weiss.
"I don't blame him." Responded Yang.
Hooded man: Now, now, there's no need to be nervous.
"With who that guy's apparently dealing with," replied Yang, "I'm sure there IS a need."
Flores: Nervous? No… It's just your appearance… It's, well, it's a little intimidating…
The camera then changed to show the full appearance of the hooded man. Just as RWBY thought, it was the Grim Reaper. Though he had quite a suave and debonair voice for the Harvester of Souls.
Hooded man: Intimidating, me?
"YES." RWBY blurted out.
Manny: But I'm your friend! My name's Manny Calavera, I'm your new travel agent!
Ruby and Yang suddenly laughed at that statement. Weiss and Blake were surprised.
"The Grim Reaper works as a travel agent?!" Chortled Yang.
"This game is gonna be silly, I just know it!" Chuckled Ruby.
"Manny Calavera… Interesting name." Inquired Weiss.
"Somehow, that name feels… Familiar." Noted Blake. She had no idea why.
Flores: I don't want a new travel agent, I want to go home.
Manny: Ha-ha, you can't go home Celso, you're dead. But you're not alone, everybody here's just as dead as you, that's why we call it the Land of the Dead.
"So, this takes place in the afterlife." Weiss realized.
"I gathered that." Replied Blake.
Manny then sat down at his side of the desk and prepared to use what appeared to be a strange-looking computer.
Manny: Are you ready for your big journey?
Celso: No! …What journey?
Manny: The Four-Year Journey of the Soul.
"Say what?" Questioned Ruby.
"I've read something about that before, I think." Responded Blake. "Apparently, some cultures believe the dead had to travel four years through the… nine layers of the underworld before they could actually rest in peace."
"Nine layers?! For four years straight?!" Exclaimed Ruby.
"No wonder they need a travel agency over there." Snarked Yang. RWB giggled in response.
Manny: It is quite a big trip. And I can't lie to you Celso. It could be very, very dangerous.
"I can't see how dangerous things can be when you're already dead." Said Weiss.
Manny: Unless… You were to take that money you were buried with and buy a better travel package from us!
Manny then handed out several pamphlets to Celso, each decorated with vehicles and labelled "DOD." RWBY was curious about the travel packages.
Manny: I mean, wouldn't you rather cross the Land of the Dead in your own sports car? Maybe try a luxury ocean cruise?
"Ooh, ooh! Go for the sports car! Go for the sports car!" Shouted Yang.
"No, ocean cruise! Ocean cruise!" Argued Weiss.
"I second the cruise!" Blake replied. "Lots of fish!"
Manny: Or, if you led a VERY good life, you may even be able to go for a ticket on the Number Nine itself!
Celso/RWBY: The Number Nine?
Manny: That's our top-of-the-line express train. It shoots straight to the Ninth Underworld, the Land of Eternal Rest, in four minutes instead of four years.
"Well, THAT'S convenient!" Blurted Yang.
"I can't imagine it being easy to qualify for, though." Retorted Weiss.
Manny: But very few people qualify, let's take a look at your records.
As Manny checked Celso's records on his computer, RWBY's collective eyes widened as his client, Celso Flores… Did not qualify for ANY of the major options. Hell, his records were apparently LESS than qualifiable, considering it went down PAST the bar!
"What kind of life did that guy even LIVE?!" Ruby said in shock.
"Quite an… 'Indulgent' one, I'm assuming." Blake responded.
"Stealing, gambling, heavy drug usage, probably adultery, just to name a few disqualifiers…" Yang followed up with.
Manny: Well, the bad news is that the train appears to be just out of your reach. But I still got a couple of tricks up my sleeve here…
Manny continued to work on his computer, looking for ANY kind of travel package Celso could qualify for. But while Manny was feigning a sense of confidence, RWBY knew that Celso's Four-Year Journey would end up being a difficult one.
Manny: Mmm-hmmm... Yah-ha. Yes… That's the ticket… The "EXCELSIOR LINE!"
The scene changes to outside Manny's workplace, and it's revealed that the "Excelsior Line…" Is nothing more than a knobbed cane labelled "EXCELSIOR" on the side, along with a built-in compass on top of the knob.
Ruby and Yang laughed in surprise, while Weiss and Blake just watched in silence.
Manny: Yeah, she's a beauty. That compass in the handle will sure come in handy, too...
"A CANE?! That's all he could get?!" Asked Weiss in shock.
"That's all he qualified for." Confirmed Blake.
"I knew it!" Yang responded. "The old man's a cheapskate!"
"Ah, that's too bad." Said Ruby.
Manny: Oh, you're going to have a great trip. Wish I was going!
Celso: Why don't you? You could give me a lift.
"Yeah, isn't that what the Grim Reaper usually does?" Inquired Blake. "He's supposed to transport souls to the other side…"
Manny: Oh, I can't leave here till I've worked off a little debt to the powers that be…
"Wait." Ruby said. "Was Manny a living person, too?"
"Seems that way." Replied Yang. "Apparently, working as a Grim Travel Agent or whatever is his way of trying to get to the Ninth Underworld."
"Wow, whatever he did in his life," Weiss responded, "It must've been a lot worse than Celso."
Celso: Community service, eh? Well, I guess there are some folks worse off than me.
Celso then went down the steps of Manny's workplace, starting his Four-Year Journey.
Manny: Oh, I'll be leaving here soon enough!
As soon as Celso was far away enough, Manny took the time to relieve stress by whispering under his breath:
Manny: No thanks to dead-end, no-commission, low-life cases like yours, menso.
"Ooohh!" RWBY cried.
"Burn!" Yelled Yang.
"Well, at least he waited until Celso couldn't hear him." Ruby replied.
Manny then went up to the elevator to his office's floor. RWBY noticed how he was so tall that he had to duck under the elevator's door frame to get in and out.
"He must've drunk a LOT of milk when he was alive." Said Ruby in bewilderment.
"His tall forehead only adds to it." Followed up Yang.
As Manny made his way to his office, a red-headed skeleton secretary informed him of something.
Secretary: Hey Manny, the boss told me to tell you not to leave early tonight, he wants to talk to you about something when he gets back from his trip.
Manny: Tell Don not to worry… I'm not going anywhere. Especially not with clients like that.
"Poor Manny." Muttered Ruby.
As Manny was in his office, he took off his cloak to reveal that he was wearing a business suit underneath… and a pair of stilts. RWBY could not help but laugh.
"He was wearing stilts?!" Guffawed Ruby.
"Ohh, I can tell I'm gonna love this game already." Yang announced.
Manny: Where do they get these guys? They don't qualify for anything good, so I can't sell anything good, can't work off my time, and I'm stuck. Stuck selling a bunch of walking sticks to burros for eternity.
"What's a burros?" Inquired Ruby.
"I can't understand all those foreign words he's saying." Quizzically replied Blake. "What language even is that?"
As Manny was getting out of his "work clothes," he continued to lament on the monotony and inconvenience of his situation, hoping he could catch a break.
Manny: I need better clients. I need a real saint. I need a lead on a rich, dead saint.
Just then, the message tube in his office began shaking. Inside it, a capsule was sitting, obviously carrying a message of some kind.
Manny: Hmmmm…. ¿Qué es esto?
As they saw Manny standing still, RWBY realized that they were finally in control of him.
"Oh, control's enabled." Said Ruby.
After noticing Manny smoking a cigarette as one of his idle animations, RWBY got Manny to make his way to the message tube.
They noticed that selecting an object of interest would let Manny pick three options: Examine, Pick Up, or Use. They got Manny to "use message tube," in other words, opening it to read the capsuled message inside.
Manny: It's some sort of special work order...
Letter (In the secretary's voice): To: All agents. From: Office Manager Don Copal.
Don: All right you boneheads, thank your lucky stars and get to your freakin' cars! We have a mass poisoning on our hands! Too many dead to assign specific cases, so all clients are FIRST COME FIRST SERVE! So, let's see some hustle out there!
Manny: Whatever you say, jefe.
"Mass poisoning?! This should be good for business!" Exclaimed Ruby.
"We gotta get him there ASAP!" Added Yang.
"Wait, before we do that," Retorted Blake, "We should probably look around and try to find items we can use."
"Yeah, that's usually how games like these work, right?" Inquired Weiss.
Ruby and Yang agreed with the two and decided to get a feel for the current in-game area, noting that the flow of the game's story was completely dependent on them. First, they got Manny to check his computer.
Manny: Here's Celso's file. That walking stick was too good for him.
"Yeesh! THAT was an act of generosity?!" Blurted Yang. RWB giggled.
"What's in those cabinets?" Blake asked, referring to the cabinets/locker Manny hung his cloak in. They got him to "Examine cabinets."
Manny: Ah, the old files, the old clients, the glory days... When people died with dignity, and Domino Hurley didn't exist.
"Who's Domino Hurley?" Wondered Ruby.
"Off the top of my head, I'm guessing some sort of rival salesman." Said Weiss.
"Always sucks when one employee gets better treatment than most. …Except not for the one employee." Snarked Yang.
Manny: I don't want to re-read the old files; it'll just make me sad.
"I'll bet." Added Blake.
RWBY got Manny to go the end of the cabinets that he apparently remodeled into a supply closet for his cloak and stilts.
Manny: This end cabinet is where I hang my cloak.
They tried to get him to "use end cabinet," thinking it'd be cool to get him to wear his cloak again…
Manny: Nothing in there but my cloak. Eh, I'm going to let it air out some more.
"Eh, fair enough." Muttered Ruby.
As RWBY navigated Manny around his office, they noted another desk besides his where a bunch of books, memos, and… A deck of playing cards lied on top.
"All that other stuff looks boring." Noted Ruby. "Let's get the cards!" And so, she got Manny to "pick up cards."
Manny: Better take these cards… It looks like a long day of solitaire for me.
"It REALLY helps to joke about these kinds of situations." Remarked Yang.
RWBY got Manny to exit his office to the hallway outside. However, before that, they managed to get him to "examine office door."
Manny: Wasn't too long ago that the name on the door was "Supply Closet."
"He got relocated to the supply closet?!" Shouted Ruby.
"Man, no wonder he's so bummed." Added Yang.
Outside his office, they saw two other doors, and the secretary from before typing away. They got Manny to "examine other door."
Manny: (Sigh) My old door.
"Wait, that was his old office?" Inquired Ruby. "Who's in there now?"
"Probably that Hurley guy or whatever." Replied Yang.
As they tried to get Manny to "use Domino's door…"
Manny: Domino's office is locked. Probably scared I'll steal one of his files. Not a bad idea, actually.
"Uh-oh… Was that foreshadowing?" Said Blake hesitantly.
Brushing that aside, they made their way to the secretary, whom they got Manny to "examine."
Manny: It's my boss's secretary, Eva.
Eva: It's my boss's whipping boy, Manny.
RWBY giggled at that.
"Hey! She's not supposed to be aware of that! He's talking to us!" Chided Weiss.
"Talk about meta." Remarked Yang.
Upon "selecting" Eva, RWBY noticed that two different options appeared over characters: "Look at" and "Talk to." They got Manny to "Talk to Eva."
Manny: Buenos Dias.
Eva: Manny? Why aren't you at the poisoning?
RWBY saw a list of conversation topics pop up right after Eva said that. They chose to go through all of them, just to get a feel for the in-game situation.
Manny: What poisoning?
Eva: Yeah, the code three gazpacho poisoning that everybody's at but you! Why do I send out memos if no one reads them?
"What's gazpacho?" Asked Ruby.
"It's gotta be some kinda food, but other than that, I have no idea." Answered Yang.
Manny: Where was the poisoning again?
Eva: Just ask your driver for crying out loud. He'll know.
"Oh, he has his own driver?" Said Weiss.
"He's probably downstairs." Added Blake.
Manny: I forget... am I supposed to be somewhere right now?
Eva: Manny, do I have to explain your job to you again?
Manny: No, but I'd like to hear your description of it, just for kicks.
Eva: Well, the Manuel Calavera that I know picks up people in the Land of the Living...
Manny: Dead people.
Eva: Preferably. And he brings them here and he tries valiantly to sell them the best travel package that they qualify for. If he sells enough premium packages, our hero will be free to leave the Land of the Dead.
RWBY sorta thought that's what this whole thing was about.
Eva: Until then, he and I are stuck here... having the same conversation... over and over again for eternity.
"Wow. Manny must really like bugging Eva." Said Ruby, bewildered by Eva's sarcasm.
"That's flirting for ya." Snarked Yang. RWB giggled.
Manny: Well, enough about me. What's your job like?
Eva: Like babysitting, except I don't get to watch TV.
"This is some really snappy dialogue." Giggled Blake in surprise.
Manny: What if we just skipped town tonight? You and me, baby!
Eva: Thanks for the offer, but we'd never make it out of the city alive. In one piece, I mean.
Manny: I bet I could get out, if I really tried.
Eva: Oh, Manny. Look at you. You're a trapped rat, and you don't even know it.
"Well, at least it's good to be ambitious." Said Yang.
Manny: Why do some clients qualify for better travel packages?
Eva: They led good lives.
Manny: Que traes! How do you define a "good" life?
Eva: Better than yours and mine.
"I wonder if we'd qualify for good travel packages." Inquired Ruby.
"Ruby, we're far too young to die yet." Retorted Weiss.
"Though with all the fighting villains and Grimm, you can't chalk it up to lack of trying." Snarked Yang.
"…Fair point." Weiss admitted.
Manny: So, what did you do in life to get stuck here?
Eva: What I did back in the fat days is none of your business. You know the rules.
"Fat days?" Asked Ruby.
"I guess it means back when they still had flesh." Guessed Blake. RWY thought that was an interesting term for that sort of time.
Manny: Any messages for me?
Eva: Besides the one about the poisoning? I only have one other message for you, Manny... I'm not your secretary! I don't take your messages! So get it through your thick skull, and stop forwarding your phone to me!
"Uh, that's four." Said Yang in sarcasm.
Manny: Alright, but that sounded more like FOUR messages to me.
RWBY burst in laughter at that sync. More and more, they fell in love with this game's sense of humor.
Manny: In my heart, though, you're still my secretary.
Eva: Manny, what are you talking about? I was NEVER your secretary, even when you were on top. I got one boss, same as you-Don Copal.
Manny: Come on. I know you work for another man besides Don.
Eva: Wh...What are you talking about?
"Wait, what?" Said a surprised Ruby.
Manny: I know you take memos for Hurley sometimes.
Eva: Ah, Manny. Just beat it, will ya.
"She's hiding something." Said Blake. "I wonder what."
Manny: Busy as ever, I see.
Eva: I'd have more work to do if you had more clients.
Manny: Ouch!
"This is some seriously fast-paced flirting." Chuckled Yang.
Manny: Where is everybody?
Eva: Oh, Manny, did you forget what day it is today?
Manny: Oh man. Did I come in on Saturday again?
Eva: It's the Day of the Dead! Everybody's back in the Land of the Living, visiting their families, like we should be.
"Oh, I've read about how some cultures have holidays like that." Noted Blake.
"Aw, that's kinda sweet." Said Ruby wistfully. "I wish my mom could visit me like that."
"That'd be kinda scary, though." Retorted Yang.
Manny: Why aren't you visiting your family today?
Eva: Ah, the boss is here so I gotta be here. How about you, Cal?
Manny: No one back there I want to see.
"Really?" Ruby wondered. "No family? No friends?"
"They're all probably dead like him and in even worse situations." Replied Weiss.
Eva: ...and you don't want Domino here alone, getting all the good leads.
Manny: Domino's here?
Eva: He's at the poisoning right now, stealing your commission.
"I knew it, that Hurley guy's a rival salesman." Confirmed Weiss.
"Looks like he's the one to beat." Challenged Yang.
Manny: So... you going to the Christmas party?
Eva: After the spectacle you made of yourself last year? I wouldn't miss it for the world!
"What, was he drunk or something?" Asked Yang sarcastically.
"Why would the dead need to drink?" Retorted Weiss.
"They don't need to smoke either." Argued Blake.
"Of course not! They can quit any time they want!" Added Yang. RWB giggled.
Manny: Any good gossip?
Eva: Well, I heard Domino got a raise.
Manny: Por favor. Tell me some good news, why don't ya?
Eva: I still love you.
Manny: You're all I really need, Belleza.
RWBY cooed at that. "D'awwww."
Eva: Manny, if you don't mind, I've got a lot of filing here to do…
Manny: Right. Hay te huacho.
After getting all the info they needed, they decided to take the other elevator they saw in the opening cutscene. As they couldn't access it before, they thought now would be as good of a time as any to do so.
As Manny went into the elevator, they saw that it led down into the garage… the Garage of the Dead! A car took off right in front of him, heading out towards an exit very clearly labeled "Land of the Living."
"Do… Do you think we should try?" Wondered Ruby. WBY knew what she was thinking. Before her teammates could answer, she tried to get Manny to get through the "Land of the Living" exit…
Manny: Can't go through on foot. People have tried, but they never came back.
"What happened to them?" Asked Weiss.
"I think it's better we don't know." Confirmed Blake.
RWBY also noted a red device sitting next to the exit. It looked similar to the control mechanisms for car wash tunnels. They got Manny to "examine" it.
Manny: There are lights for "Wash", "Rinse", "Wax"... And "Land of the Living" depending on your destination.
Unfortunately for RWBY, they soon realize Manny couldn't "use" it for himself.
Manny: The driver-demons operate this somehow, and the company won't tell us salesmen how it works. Gotta keep us down somehow.
"Demons?!" Said Ruby, shocked. She was worried Manny might have to fight some of them, though this didn't seem like that kind of game.
"Well, it is the Land of the Dead, isn't it?" Replied Blake. "Demons usually inhabit that sort of place."
"Are they anything like Grimm?" Wondered Yang.
"Well, hey apparently serve as drivers, so they're probably not as evil, and definitely a lot smarter." Weiss inferred from Manny's comments.
As RWBY got Manny to make his way down the other end of the garage, they saw a bunch of stationary cars, a toolshed, and an accompanying tool cabinet right next to it.
"Alright. Where's our driver?" Questioned Ruby.
"Maybe he's in that shed?" Asked Weiss.
"Maybe we should check that tool cabinet for inventory." Inquired Yang. As RWBY got Manny to "Use tool cabinet…"
Manny: It's locked.
But as soon as he said that…
Voice from the shed: Hey! Who the- Who's messing with my stuff?
Suddenly, a gigantic orange creature in a mechanic's jumpsuit crawled his way out of the toolshed.
"Whoa!" Cried RWBY. They knew it was a demon, but he probably wasn't Manny's driver.
Demon: Oh, heh, sorry, sir! I didn't expect... Sales agents usually don't come over to this part of the garage...
Manny: Hey, you a driver?
Demon: Me? Hah! No. No no no. I don't drive em', just wrench em'.
"Oh, he's a mechanic." Confirmed Ruby.
"I could sorta tell from the jumpsuit he's wearing." Added Yang.
Manny: I'm Calavera. Manny Calavera.
Demon: My name is Glottis.
"As in 'epiglottis?' Like, a part of the throat? Ew…!" Retorted Weiss in disgust.
"I dunno, for a demon, he's kinda cute." Added Ruby. WBY actually kind of agreed.
Glottis: I don't get many visitors-Hey! I got a message for a Mr. Calavera... Uh... Your driver said... ... that Mr. Hurley said... that he could have the rest of the day off.
"What?!" Barked RWBY.
Manny: Domino sent my driver home?
Glottis: Yeah, wasn't that nice?
"Yeah, that's clearly sabotage right there." Said Yang. "He's trying to stop Manny from getting to the poisoning!"
Manny: Nice hut.
Glottis: Yeah, I wonder how nice it would seem to you if you were TRAPPED in it all day like me.
"Especially since it's clearly too small for him." Replied Weiss.
Manny: If you hate your job, why don't you quit?
Glottis: It's not just a job, it's what I was created to do. If I get any farther away from cars than this, I'll get sick and die. It's like I'm not happy unless I'm breathing in the thick, black, nauseating fumes... (Glottis sniffs)
Manny: (Smokes a cigarette) Hmm. Can't imagine.
RWBY giggled at that.
Manny: Glottis... Glottis... Is that a German name?
Glottis: Oh, no. My roots lie not in any Earthly nation's soil. I am an elemental spirit summoned up from the Land of the Dead itself and given one purpose, one skill, one desire: to DRIVE. Or, to change oil and adjust timing belts, if no driving jobs are open.
"And we COULD use a new driver…" Inquired Ruby.
Manny: Looks like I need a new driver.
Glottis: OH! I...Uh... I! Uh... I, would agree with that. Yes you do.
"Well hello, opportunity." Said Yang with a glint of hope in her voice.
Manny: You want to be my replacement driver?
Glottis: ME? Oh, oh no. Sorry. Can't. Rules.
RWBY needed to convince him to be Manny's driver.
Manny: Come on Glottis, I need you to be my driver.
Glottis: No, I can't. I'm... I'm... I'm too big.
RWBY saw 3 different counterarguments pop up for that.
Manny: You're not too big! you're just right!
Glottis: No, they told me again and again. I'm too big to drive.
"Aw… I thought for sure the whole "just right" thing would work." Replied Yang, disappointed.
Manny: You're not too big. You just have a self-image problem.
Glottis: A what?
Manny: Repeat after me: I am not fat. I am thin. Women find me attractive...
"God, how many times do I have to repeat things like that in the mirror every morning…" Muttered Yang.
"What?" Inquired RWB.
"Nothing! It's nothing!"
Glottis: Hey, I never said I was too fat for the ladies, just the cars. The ladies like me just fine (heh heh heh).
"Yeah, demon ladies maybe." Snarked Weiss.
"Ruby, I think that, as a mechanic, Glottis can do custom jobs to alter the cars…?" Said Blake, trying to drop a hint.
"Yeah, yeah, I know. There's only one option left, anyway." Replied Ruby.
Manny: You're not too big. The cars are just too small.
Glottis: Yeah! Those dang compact cars—
"Seems like everything would be 'compact' for him." Muttered Weiss.
Glottis: Hey! That gives me an idea! I could alter your car just a bit-with just a quick torch job to let out the seams, you know?
"There we go." Confirmed Ruby.
Glottis: Ah, but I'm not allowed to modify the cars without a work order from upstairs. I could lose my job.
Manny: A work order, huh?
Glottis: Yeah, yeah, yeah! I can't torch anything bigger than a cigarette without one of these signed by the boss himself.
Glottis then handed Manny a work order, which Manny put into his inventory.
Manny: Hey, that's my line. Getting people to sign. Back in a snap.
Glottis: Yeah, too small. I'm not too big! Everything around here is just too small!
Glottis then went back into his toolshed.
"You'd think they'd give him a bigger shed, at least." Said Yang.
RWBY knew exactly what they needed to do.
"Wait, before we do anything else, let's check our inventory just to review." Inquired Weiss. RBY thought that was a good idea. They used the "inventory" command to keep in mind what Manny currently has on him. The first item that popped up… Was his scythe.
Manny: My scythe. I like to keep it next to where my heart used to be.
"Awwww!" Cooed RWBY.
After reviewing the rest of the inventory, RWBY got Manny to make it back upstairs. But when they tried to get Manny to give the work order to Eva…
Manny: Eva, I really need the boss to sign this work order.
Eva: I'll give it a shot. Mr. Copal, I've got Manny Calavera out here to see you...
Don: Didn't I say no interruptions today?
Eva: Eh. Sorry, Cal. Maybe tomorrow.
Manny: That's too late.
Eva: Oh yeah, like you're going anywhere.
"And his door's locked, too." Added Ruby. "Too bad."
Blake, however, suspected something was up. "Wait a minute… Ruby, try that again."
"What?" Asked Ruby. "Why?"
"Just do it." Retorted Blake. "I think something's wrong here." Seeing no reason to argue with her, Ruby tried to give Eva the work order again.
Manny: Eva, I really need the boss to sign this work order.
Eva: I'll give it a shot. Mr. Copal, I've got Manny Calavera out here to see you...
Don: Didn't I say no interruptions today?
Eva: Eh. Sorry, Cal.
"…Copal's reply seems a little too… "Repetitive" for his own good." Noted Blake.
"It's pre-recorded video game dialogue, Blake!" Argued Weiss.
"Yeah well, between that and his door being locked, it seems like there's something in his office he doesn't want us to see…" Blake kept pondering just what it was.
While Blake kept thinking, RWY decided to get Manny outside the office through the main elevator as they saw in the opening cutscene. As he was outside, they noticed a parade going on the other side of the office building.
"Is that for the Day of the Dead?" Asked Ruby.
"Who knew people actually celebrated the concept of death?" Said Weiss, surprised.
"Let's forget about that for now." Replied Blake. "Right now, we need to get that work order signed."
As RWBY had Manny head towards the parade, they noticed that the alleyway next to the DOD office building was open. They had him go in, noting a blue gem on the side and what appeared to be a rope heading down from one of the upper floors.
Manny: It looks like a rope... ...but it's really just a bunch of cheap ties tied together.
"Why is that even there?" Asked Ruby.
"For sneaking in and out, maybe?" Yang guessed.
"I think I know exactly who just 'snuck out.'" Said Blake.
RWBY got Manny to climb the "rope." As he did, they noticed an open office window in front of the ledge the rope was tied to.
Manny: Looks like the Boss has gone fishing.
"So how did he even reply to Eva?!" Said Weiss, shocked.
"Well, since everyone in this game is either dead or a demon, I wouldn't be surprised if ghosts were involved." Ruby replied as a wild guess.
"I think there's a more practical answer, though…" Responded Blake.
As RWBY got Manny to enter Don's office, they noticed just how messy it was. The girls were pretty disgusted. And so was Manny.
Manny: This place is a mess.
"No kidding." Weiss agreed. "Wait, hold on! Is that Copal's computer?"
RWBY got Manny to "examine Don's computer."
Manny: It looks like Don's rigged his computer to automatically answer his intercom...
"I knew it!" Confirmed Blake. "I told you something was wrong!"
"Nice one, Blake." Commended Ruby. "Way to call it!"
"Well, since he's gone, why don't we just change what 'he' has to 'say?'" Retorted Yang. RBY knew what to do. They saw a list of auto-responses on Don's computer, quickly realized which one they needed to pick, and did so.
Manny: I'll just change his auto-response here…
"Don": Ah, cripes, Eva! Just sign it yourself, will ya? I'm busy!
"There it is." Confirmed Yang. "Hopefully Eva hears that."
They got Manny to sneak out of Don's office, go back down the rope, and make it back inside to the upstairs lobby. They knew that with Don's auto-response altered accordingly, Eva would have no choice but to sign Glottis's work order.
Manny: Eva, I really need the boss to sign this work order.
Eva: I'll give it a shot.
RWBY saw that the scene changed from gameplay to a cutscene, which means they were right. They felt both smart for figuring it out, and yet, pretty guilty for doing something very clearly illegal. But in their minds, it had to be done.
Eva: Mr. Copal? Mr. Calavera has somethin' out here that he says he needs your signature on–
"Don": Ah, cripes, Eva! Just sign it yourself, will ya? I'm busy!
Eva signed the work order as she was "ordered," but couldn't resist letting out a snide remark.
Eva: You'll have to excuse him, Manny. It's probably a really hard crossword puzzle he's got in there today.
"HA!" RWBY shouted.
Manny: Eva, I'm impressed. I had no idea you had this kind of power.
Eva: Well, we all have our secrets.
"I'll bet you do." Retorted Blake.
RWBY watched as the scene shifted to Glottis using a blowtorch on Manny's car so he could fit his big demon heinie inside. Clearly, it was gonna be a tight fit, as evident by Glottis's struggle, which RWBY couldn't help but giggle at.
Glottis: Gdak. Gahh. Ahh. Nuhh.
Manny went down back into the garage in his "work clothes," scythe whipped out, ready to head out to "the field."
Glottis: Hey, I look good in this, don't I? Heh heh.
"That's up for debate." Snarked Weiss.
Manny: Yeah, well, they say black is slimming…
It felt nice for Blake to hear that. Not only does she wear black clothes on the regular, she had always been a little self-conscious about her weight, not made any better by rumors of people commenting about her "thick Bellabooty." Not that she'd talk about it, mind you.
Glottis began driving down the Land of the Dead as they crossed into the Land of the Living, his expression clearly one of unbridled joy.
Glottis: I'm drivin'! Yeah! I'm drivin'! RrrrrrrrmmmmmmAahaha!
RWBY felt happy for Glottis finally being able to indulge in his "one purpose, one skill, one desire" so freely. But Manny noted that Glottis wasn't going as fast as it looked like was going.
Manny: Por favor. I coulda walked faster than this! Rrr, hÌjole, I'm gonna miss the poisoning!
"Let's hope not." Said Ruby.
Glottis: Brrrrrrr!
As Glottis continued to make motor noises with his mouth, Death the Salesman finally made it to his destination; a Diner of the Living. RWBY was kinda weirded out as to how the Land of the Living and its people looked like a bunch of magazine cut-outs glued together.
However, they saw another limo pass by Manny's. Inside, another Salesman of the Dead waved by as who appeared to be a nun of some sort was looking at DOD travel packages.
Manny: Domino!
"So that's Domino, huh?" Confirmed Ruby.
"Did he just get a nun as a client?" Inquired Weiss.
"Well, isn't he a lucky guy." Snarked Yang heavily.
Will Manny be able to strike out as lucky as Domino, and get the "rich, dead saint" he's been looking for? Or will things continue to be an uphill struggle for him as he tries to pay off his debt? Exactly what secret is Eva hiding? And what of Manny's AWOL boss, Don Copal? Find out on the next exciting episode of Dragon Ball Z- I mean, RWBY Plays Grim Fandango!