Hey people! I really wanted to write a fun Romy oneshot. Unfortunately, this didn't come out as good as I had hoped. Oh well. I hope you like it anyway.
Enjoy!
(Note: There will be translations at the bottom)
"Il y a les gens espagnols dans la salle de bains. Allez la nourriture les chèvres."
"Chere, what de HELL are y' talkin' about?"
Rogue sighed, glaring up at him from over the top of her French textbook. He was staring at her like had just grown a second head.
"Ah'm tryin' to study for mah French test, Swamp Rat," she replied crossly.
Remy stared at her for a few more moments, and then burst out laughing.
"What?" Rogue asked, suddenly feeling very self-conscious.
"Not'ing, just y' never goin' t' pass dat test," he said, sitting down next to her on the couch. Rogue glared at him again. Remy had been part of the X-Men now for a few months, and he still seemed to get a kick out of never leaving her alone.
"Why?" she asked, staring down at her book again. "Ah was speakin' French, wasn't Ah?"
"Oui," Remy said, still smiling. "But it made no sense at all."
"How do ya know that?" she retorted, still keeping her eyes on her book. "Maybe Ah meant to say what I did."
"Y' meant to say t'ere be Spanish people in y' bathroom?"
Rogue didn't say anything.
"Exactly," he said, grinning smugly. Rogue irritable blew some of her bangs out of her face and stared at her textbook intently.
"Shut up," she growled. "Ah need to study. You're distractin' me."
"Je ne jamais!" he said. "Remy only wants t' help."
"What, ya mean like a tutor or somethin?" she asked, looking up at him skepticly.
"Sure, why not?" he responded, shrugging. "Anyt'ing for mon chere."
Rogue rolled her eyes, opening her book between them so he could see too.
"Ah need to be able to read and write all of the stuff in this chapter," she explained. "Ah know a little of it, but some of it is really throwin' me."
"Sérieusement?" he asked. "Chere, dis stuff is just th' basics!"
"Fahne," she said irritably, pushing the book over to him. "Quiz me."
"D'accord," he said, picking up the book and holding it so she couldn't see it. "Réponse dans le français: que la voie commune est-elle de demander à quelqu'un comment ils font?"
Rogue squinted, trying to remember what the teacher had said when they went over that.
"Uhhh, Comment-ça-va?"
"Oui!" Remy said, and Rogue couldn't help but smile a bit. He continued speaking.
"This one seems hard," he said staring at the book. Rogue wasn't sure she liked that sly smirk on his face as he reached for a pencil and a sheet of paper. "Remy'll just write down th' answer for y' and y' can practice sayin' it."
"Ok?" she said uncertainly as he handed her the paper. She read them. "Je vais enlever tous mes vêtements et permettre à Cajun sexy de me tripoter?"
Remy completely cracked up, looking like he was going to die from laughter. Rogue hastily grabbed her textbook and opened it to the back, looking up the words she had just said while Remy hit the sides of the couch with his fists, still laughing.
Face now burning bright red, she closed the book and hit him hard in the head with it, only adding to his laughter.
"Ah hate you so freakin' much right now."
It didn't take long for Rogue to realize she had made the biggest mistake of her life. Yes, Remy was teaching her French, but most of what he was getting her to say she later realized were just sex jokes and other things that if she wrote down on a school test would get her suspended.
"Remy can't help it, chere," he said. "It's jus' to perfect an' opportunity."
"Ah swear if you make me say one more thing about how 'sexy' you are, Ah'm gonna shove this book down your throat," she growled, meaning every word of it.
"Aw, cher," he said, hugging her around the waist. "Y' know I'm jus' playin' wit' y'. Sides, I be makin' y' tell th' truth."
"Just teach me what Ah halfta know, alright?" she snapped, pulling away from him. "We've been at this for three hours already, and all you've taught me to say is that Ah'm stripping for a Cajun!"
"Y're point?" Remy asked innocently. Rogue groaned, sitting back down on the couch and glowering at him.
"What's it gonna take for ya to actually teach me what Ah need to know?" she asked. She hated having his help, but she really needed to at least get a B on this test. And she doubted she could do that when all she knew how to say for herself was about Spanish people and goats.
Remy smiled, and Rogue had a feeling she was about to regret what she had just said.
"D'accord, chere," he said. "I teach y' all y' need t' know for y' test, and in return y' go on a date wit' moi. Deal?"
Rogue gaped at him. So that had been what he was playing at. All those months of begging her to go out with him, and he had seen the perfect opportunity right now to bribe her. She gets to pass her test, and he gets that date.
"That's cruel and unusual," she said, crossing her arms. Remy shrugged.
"Dat's th' deal," he said. "I teach y' French, and my payment is takin' y' out t' dinner. I t'ink dat sounds pretty fair."
Rogue groaned for about the millionth time. Her hands were pretty much tied with this one. It didn't mean she had to like it.
"Fahne," she finally agreed. "But you better actual teach me to say things that won't get be expelled, got it?"
The next morning, she was tired, irritated, but feeling ok about the test. Five hours of studying had to amount to something, right?
At least, she hoped so as she sat next to Remy at the table, both with a coffee cup in hand. Neither had gotten to bed early that night. Rogue was studying, and Remy had just been trying to figure out where they were going for this 'date'. Apparently, she was to be sentenced to her doom at 7 tonight. Joy.
"Je suis dans un coma," Rogue said after a bit, trying to grab at the knowledge hiding in the back of her mind. "Do you think Ah'll do alright?"
"I doubt it, cause y' just said 'I'm in a coma.'"
Rogue felt like ripping out her hair. "We studied for hours last night, and Ah still don't know anythin!" She banged her head on the table a few times, then just let it stay there.
"Don' worry chere," Remy said comfortingly, putting his hand on her shoulder. "Jus' keep t'inkin about dat date tonight and y'll feel all better."
Rogue raised her head to glare at him, and was about to say something when an idea popped into her head.
"Hey Rems?" she asked sweetly, sitting up and looking at him innocently. "Can ya do me a favor, sugah?"
Remy stared at her in confusion. "And what would dat be, chere?"
Rogue answered by pressing her lips to his. It was short, sweet, and within a few moments Remy was on the ground, out cold.
"Rat de Marais de Merci," Rogue said, smiling as she got up and grabbed her backpack. "Et n'oubliez pas de cette date ce soir. L'épreuve française, ici je viens."
I know that probably wasn't any good, but I tried, right? :3
French Translations
Il y a les gens espagnols dans la salle de bains. Allez la nourriture les chèvres: There are Spanish people in the bathroom. Go feed the goats
Chere: Dear or beloved
Je ne jamais: I would never
Sérieusement: Seriously
Réponse dans le français: que la voie commune est-elle de demander à quelqu'un comment ils font?: Answer in French: What is the common way to ask someone how they are doing?
Je vais enlever tous mes vêtements et permettre à Cajun sexy de me tripoter: I'm going to take off all my clothes and let the sexy Cajun feel me up
D'accord: Alright
Je suis dans un coma: I'm in a coma
Rat de Marais de Merci. Et n'oubliez pas de cette date ce soir. L'épreuve française, ici je viens: Thanks Swamp Rat. And don't forget about that date tonight. French test, here I come
I hope you liked it even if it wasn't that good and please review!