Hi, this is my first published general hospital fanfic so I'm really nervous. I am so sad Sarah Brown is leaving, I love her and Claudia. Everyone has been writing a lot of great fics! Anyway I hope you like this. Please read and review! Thanks!
Sonny jolted awake as the storm continued to rage on outside his window. He ran a hand over his face and stared out the window. Lightening lit up the sky causing Sonny to wince. He hated storms, the thunder reminded him too much of gunshots and gunshots reminded him too much of his life. He wondered if Claudia was awake because of the storm. Of course the fact that she had just lost her baby, their son, because of a car accident could also be keeping her awake. She had been really upset lately. Just when he thought they were making progress the rocking chair she had ordered had arrived.
He remembered when Carly lost their first son. How devastated he had been when the one of a kind crib had arrived. They had each other to work through it. Based on the conversation between Johnny and Claudia he had walked in on Claudia had no one. Making up his mind he got out of bed and walked down the long dark hallway to her room.
The door was wide open and a flash of lightening lit up her room revealing an empty bed. The covers were ruffled indicating she had been there earlier. He started to go downstairs when a faint noise caught his attention. He hadn't been able to hear it over the thunder, the storm had finally let up. It almost sounded like a child's lullaby, he realized.
He moved to the next room over where their baby would have slept. He pushed the door open and saw Claudia in the stupid rocking chair she wouldn't allow him to get rid of. The lights were off and he could clearly hear the soft piano lullaby. She wasn't looking at him, seemingly too concentrated on her rocking and an object curled in her hands that Sonny couldn't see. He assumed it was the dog stuffed animal that had come with the chair.
He turned on the lights and his heart dropped. She was holding a gun in her hands, tears streaming down her face. She seemed to either be unaware or ignoring his presence.
"Claudia," Sonny said keeping his eyes on the gun.
"I killed our baby. I deserve to die," she said in a surprisingly strong voice. Sonny slowly came closer to her.
"Claudia it was not your fault. It was an accident, a tragic-"
"SHUT UP!!!" Claudia screamed clutching tighter to the gun. "That baby was mine to protect and I failed. The one thing in the whole world that I could give all of my love to and would actually give love back. Now he's gone and I have no one. No reason to live anymore," Claudia said with an eerie sense of calm.
"What about your brother? You love Johnny," Sonny said grasping at straws. Anything to keep her talking until he could get the gun. He finally reached her and he knelt down to look into her eyes, but made no attempt to take the gun.
"Johnny hates me. His life will be better off without me in it to mess it up," Claudia said raising her head. Sonny did not like the look in her eyes. Claudia was a fiery woman and her eyes were always flashing in anger, pain, love, and that sexy glint they got when she was feeling flirty. Now they were completely dull and empty of any emotion. His heart jumped when she raised the gun.
"Claudia no!" he shouted grabbing the gun and pulling her to the ground. He managed to throw the gun under the changing table and then he turned his attention to his wife. She was shaking uncontrollably, but made no sound. Sonny lifted her up and carried her to his room. He put her down on his bed and crawled in behind her pulling the blankets up over them. He held her until she stopped shaking. He looked over at her and saw her eyes were closed, so he went back to the nursery. He shut off the music and picked up the gun then went down the stairs.
"Mr. C anything wrong?" Max asked when Sonny came down the stairs.
"Missing something Max?" Sonny asked showing him the gun. Max looked startled and reached for his gun. He looked up guilty when he came up with nothing. "Do you know where I found this Max?" Sonny asked handing him his gun. Max shook his head. "I found it with my apparently suicidal wife. She is not to be alone for a moment, do you understand me. If I'm not with her either you or Milo is."
"Understood sir. Should we post a guard at her door?"
"No I'm moving her to my room. And Max don't upset her," Sonny said before going back to his room. He found Claudia where he left her and he crawled back into bed wrapping an arm sound her protectively. He sighed, worried, if he wasn't careful he was going to start genuinely caring for his wife of convenience.
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Sonny walked into his ex wife's house looking for his son. Morgan came running down the stairs with a huge grin on his face.
"Hey dad ready to go? Where's Claudia?" he asked slightly disappointed.
"Oh, yea buddy she isn't feeling well. But to make it up to you when she is feeling better you, me and Claudia are going to have dinner."
"Ok cool. Oh man I left my glove upstairs," Morgan said running up the stairs. Carly, who had been watching from her seat on the couch motioned Sonny over.
"What's wrong with Claudia?" she asked her voice more amused than concerned.
"Didn't know you cared," Sonny smirked. Carly nodded her head.
"Alright, but I trust you to use your best judgment when you bring Morgan around her," Carly said as Morgan came back down the sitars.
"Yes ma'am." Sonny said leaving with his son.
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Claudia watched the wind sweep over the pond and disperse the water lilies. She ran a hand through her hair and sighed. She hated being cooped up in the house. If she wasn't careful she was going to end up like her father did and start talking to plants. Making up her mind she showered, dressed, and left the house. She noticed when Max followed her, but she decided to let Sonny have his way for now. She ended up at Kelly's and got a large ice cream sundae.
"Max," she called motioning for him to sit down. He did and she offered him a spoon.
"Mrs. C I don't think-"
"Look Sonny didn't tell you to protect me he told you to make sure I don't jump off a bridge or crash my car on purpose. So the only person you need to pay attention to is me. Take the spoon Max, I won't tell I promise," she smirked. He smiled and took the spoon.
They had almost finished the ice cream and were having a pretty good time. They were laughing at Max's story about his little brother growing up when Claudia's little brother walked in with his girlfriend Olivia. Claudia met his eye and looked down quickly. She felt her chest constrict, the pain weighing down on her like a ton of bricks.
"You ok Mrs. C?" Max asked concerned. He looked over at Johnny and Olivia who were both coming towards them.
"I don't want to talk to them. Get me out of here, please," she said in a hushed whisper. Max nodded and quickly stood up to block Johnny's path to his sister. Claudia quickly left the diner.
"Claudia!" Johnny shouted trying to get around Max. "Hey what is your problem? That is my sister and I want to talk to her."
"Mr. C gave me very clear instructions that Mrs. C is not to be upset and she doesn't want to see you. Back off Johnny," Johnny looked like he was going to protest, but Olivia put her hand on his shoulder to calm him down.
"Let it be Johnny," she warned.
"She's my sister and I am not going to let Sonny cut her off from me," Johnny left with Olivia and Max went outside to look for Claudia. She was gone.
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Claudia wandered into the Metro Court and sat down at the bar. She ordered Vodka on the rocks and stared into her drink. Seeing Johnny had really thrown her, sending her back to their fight. He was right, she was a mess and it wasn't fair to ask him to be her only support. She only screwed up his life and she was determined to stay away from him.
"Claudia Corinthos what a surprise," came Carly's voice. Claudia looked up and saw Carly taking the seat next to her.
"You want me to leave?" Claudia asked seriously, not up for a fight.
"Wow you really are sick," Carly said her smile falling. "No I don't want you to leave"
"Who told you I was sick?"
"Sonny, why what really happened?"
"Sonny found me in our dead baby's room with a gun," Claudia said her voice as casual as if she was talking about the weather. Carly knew the kind of pain Claudia was going through and for reasons unknown to her she wanted to ease that pain. She had told Jax she would never wish that pain on anyone and she had meant it.
"I've had miscarriages before, I know how hard they are, but you can't just give up. There are people that need you."
"Like who?" Claudia hissed. "My husband who can barely stand me on a good day? My brother who I've almost gotten killed more times than I can count and wants nothing to do with me? Or my friends?" Claudia said smirking at Carly. Carly half smiled concerned at Claudia's defeat. She had never seen Claudia like this. Claudia fought like hell every minute of every day. It was unnerving to see her so lifeless.
"My sons like you."
"They'd get over it and I'm sure you'd be thrilled," Claudia knocked back the rest of her drink and stood up. "Thanks for letting me stay this time. Say hi to Michael and Morgan for me," Carly watched her leave and picked up the phone.
"Hello?" Sonny said.
"Sonny I just ran into Claudia."
"Is she ok?"
"I don't know. She seemed really upset, I found her at the bar and she told me about last night. She had at least one drink maybe more. I just thought you should know."
"Is Max with her?"
"No is he supposed to be?" Carly asked. She heard Sonny swear.
"Thank you for calling me."
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Claudia let Max open the door to the living room and she plopped down on the couch. Her phone rang and after making sure it wasn't Johnny she answered.
"Where are you?" Sonny asked angrily.
"Home with Max," Claudia said getting slightly annoyed. She wasn't used to anyone caring where she was or that she was even alive.
"Carly said she found you at the bar without Max. You lose him?"
"No he was in the bathroom," Claudia lied. She liked Max she didn't want to get him in trouble. "Besides I don't really need a babysitter."
"Claudia you almost killed yourself last night."
"I screwed up alright?" Claudia said angrily. She took a deep breath, "What are you my husband?" Claudia said smiling. She heard Sonny laugh.
"Yes I am," Sonny said from the living room doors. Claudia smiled and put away her cell.
"Take me to bed husband," She smiled wickedly and Sonny relished the glint in her eyes.
"Yes ma'am."
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Sonny woke hours later to find Claudia not in bed, but sitting on his window seat staring out into the night. He slowly came up behind her and looked out the window. It was too dark to see anything. He gently moved Claudia's hair away from her face so he could see her. Her eyes were blank and for a minute he thought she might be sleep walking. Until she looked up at him and smiled.
"I didn't want to wake you," she said quietly. Sonny ran his hand over her hair soothingly.
"I don't mind," Sonny said sincerely.
"I want to go back to Italy," Claudia said turning back to the window. Sonny said nothing and slid in behind her leaning Claudia's back on his chest. She tensed at the contact and Sonny sighed. Was he the only person that had ever held her, comforted her, the only one that even touched her warmly? She eventually relaxed in his embrace and Sonny kissed the back of her head.
"I don't want you to go," he said softly. She turned slightly so that she was looking at him.
"Why, guilt? I've spent my whole life living with people who didn't really want me. My father kept me to teach my mother a lesson, my Uncle Rudy loved me in his own way, but had no need for a teenage girl. He took me in because of his love and loyalty for his sister. I don't want to spend the rest of my life like that."
"Honestly Claudia I don't know why I want you to stay, but I do. Please give this whatever it is more time."
"You wouldn't want me if you knew what I had done," Claudia said turning away. Sonny cupped her cheek and turned her back to him. He said nothing only lowered his lips to hers.