Twilight Movie Scenes Gone Wrong
Ok as I always do I have to have my little says in things so let go. Anyone who has not SEEN the film twilight NOW THE FILM PEOPLE if you read the book.. It doesn't count so favourite this page. Go to your film shop.. Buy/rent twilight, watch it at least twice, and come back. Thank you..
For those who have stayed and watched twilight at least twice thank you and you's are legde's (legands). If you have watched twilight and you thought it was deadly but found Bella or some scenes a bit annoying well you have come to the right place, because I am replacing Bella with me there my stories my choices, and I have choosen Bella "falls" under a bus.
Just so everyone knows I'm from Ireland and I'm going to talk like a Dub ( Dubliner) all through this.
Each scene is from twilight I'm going to skip a few but ill label so you know, I'm going to do everything as normal in the film only I'm the new Bella, I love Edward and he cant read my mind and bla bla bla ok so lets begin.. P.S my names Alex so you will see that instead of Bella.. Anyone confused from here on send me a message I shall explain. Anyone un-confused go you and lets begin
In The Car With Charlie
Scence Intro :
This scene is at the start of the movie before I go home and there is awkardness but me being me breaks that awkardness
Charlie : Your hairs longer
Alex : that's all you have to say after YEARS.. Anyway I got it cut
Charlie : guess it grew out again
"long silence"
Alex : so……. You still have that moustache ?
"Charlie rubs under his nose"
Charlie : yep
Alex : So … anything exticing happen while I was gone
Charlie : No
Alex : Is there eggs in the fridge ?
Charlie : Yep
Alex : Miss me ?
Charlie : yep
Alex : I like your ……………….. Eyes
Charlie : thanks
Alex : always been that colour ?
Charlie : yep
Alex : WELL YOUR NOT ONE FOR F******G TALKING ARE YOU !
In The House With Charlie
Charlie : I got the sales-lady to pick up some bed stuff.. You like you like purple right ?
Alex : Purples the s**t thanks Da
"We walk outside to greet Billy and Jacob"
Charlie : Alex you remember Billy Black right
Alex : DO I REMEMBER .. How ya me budd ?
Billy : well still dancing. Glad your finally here Charlie here hasent shut up about it till you told him you were coming
Alex : Ahh da(Father) love you too
Charlie : shut up before I roll you into the mud
Billy : not before I ram you in the ankle
"They fight"
Jacob : Hi, I'm Jacob
Alex : THE LENGTH OF YOUR HAIR ? Yet its so smooth.. HERBAL ESSENCES ??
Jacob : ehhh yea.. We used to make mud pies when we were little
Alex : I honest to god I don't remember being friends with a hippie
"Charlie and Billy walk back over"
Charlie : so what do you think, as a home coming present
"Charlie taps old, orange rusty truck"
Alex : THIS !
Charlie : just bought it off Billy here
Alex : for what $1.50 ! The state of that thing I'm in no way driving that to school. PORSHE ALL THE WAY !!
Charlie : well for now and $2.00 actually
Alex : Right see ya, I'm going to school bye Da, Wheels and Hippie
Jacob : its Jacob
Alex : sure, sure
In School And Meeting People
Tyler : nice ride
Alex: IM GETTING A PORSHE SO SHUT IT .. TWERP !
Eric : hi, im Eric the eye's and ears of this place. Anything you need. Tour guide, lunch date shoulder to cry on ?
Alex : yeah thanks. I'd love a chicken roll (with cheese and peppers) and ill have lunch with you too love thanks
Eric : great headline for the future -
Alex : Chicken, cheese and peppers roll ?
Eric : Ehh yeah.
Playing Volley Ball
Alex : I cant play this game I swear I'm just going to sit over here
Some Girl : No play
Alex : I'll knock someone out
Some girl : just try
Alex : PUSHY ! Ok
"I hit Mike Newton in the head"
Mike : Owww
"I run over"
Alex : Ahhh lads I'm sorry
Mike : Its, ok, your, Alexandra right ?
Alex : Just Alex, you have eyes of a cat. A blind cat
Mike : I'm mike, Newton
"Jessica runs over"
Jessica : WOW she has a great spike right ?
Jessica : Hey your from Ireland right, aren't people from Ireland supposed to be small and green
Alex : No love that's the leprecons
"Awkard laughs"
Jessica : That's……so…..funny…ha
Alex : Ya.. Ok chicken roll anyone ?
Having Lunch Before The Cullens Come In
Jessica : Wow your like the shiney new toy
Alex : I do wash
"Alex see's Rosalie and Emmett walking in"
Alex : Ahh Lads there pale.. Never been on hoilday ?
Jessica : that's the cullens, they moved down here from Alaska like a few years ago.
Angela : They like to keep to themselves
Jessica : the blonde girl, that's Rosalie and the big dark haired guy Emmett. There like a thing. I'm not even sure that's legal
Angela : Jess, there not actually relatated
Alex : Well I would do some illegal things too "hint hint"
Jessica : the little dark haired girls Alice and shes with Jasper the blonde one that looks like shes in pain
Alex : she is cute, but like an electrocuted kitten.. And I have Panadol Painkiller for the blonde one
"Alex catches sight of Edward"Alex : WHOS HE HE'S A STUNNER. Single ? Perhaps ?
Jessica : That's Edward Cullen, totally gorges obviously, but apparently nobody around here's good enough for him LIKE I CARE
Alex : is he in pain too ? Will I offer Panadol ?
In The Biology Class
Were Bella and Edward first see each other
Mr. Milleina : ive got a seat for you over there beside Edward
Edward : "Evil fit and stare"
Alex : is he alright
"Edward takes a fit"
"Alex sits beside him and she gets evil stared at for 40 minutes and then"
Alex : Excuse me there.. Edward is it, despite your gorgeusness don't stare at me unless you have a problem like with the eyes ….. Have you got a problem
"Edward looks away and shakes his head"
Alex : well then then.. Were cool.
"Edward shakes his head again"
Alex : well then.. STARIN AT ME LIKE
Days passed and Edward didn't show up Alex thought many reasons Hatered for her, camping, having affairs with his sister, eating chicken rolls or mainy the shits.. When one day she goes to biology and finds him sitting there.
In the biology Class when they first Talk
Edward : hello, I'm Edward Cullen your Alex ?
Alex : yep, you happy today ? Prozac (google it people)
Edward : Im sorry. I didn't get a chance to introduce myself last week
Alex : Ahh I have me bad days aswell. Will you test that Biology
Edward : ok . So you liking the rain
Alex : well I'm used it . What about you ?
Edward : same
Edward : so why did you move to the wettest place in the continatley west ?
Alex : To see me da
Edward : ahhh
Edward : why didn't you go with your mother do you not like the guy ?
Alex : I love me ma and Phil is cool
Edward : And now your un-happy ?
Alex : I don't know.. Like supposed im ok
Alex : did you by any chance get contacts ?? Like your eyes were black and there like Brown
Edward : I EM I -------------- YOU .. You have a colour disorder my eyes are ……. Blue you just cant see it because you.. Em blind
Alex : BLIND ! Damn my eyes
"Edward storms off to car park."
Alex : IM NOT DONE COME BACK HERE !!!!!! DON'T STORM OFF ON ME.. All I want is a chicken roll
The Big Van Crash Scene
"Alex is at her car and Edward at his across the lot when tyler's van comes to squish her"
Alex : why ! Why cant I have a Porshe, I'm a good person and -- AHHH A RANDOM VAN COMING TO SQUISH ME SHOCK ! AHH
"Edward catches her and stops the van with one hand"
Alex : WTF ! Who ? You ? Catched ? EDWARD WTF !!!!! AHH A VAN
"Edward drops her and leaves her"Alex : what is it with this fella and storm off's GET BACK HERE BITCH
Carlisle's Checking Her In The Hospital
p.s I skipped like a few bits if confused fast forward to this bit on the film and you see shes getting her eyes tested with his light thing
Carlisle : Ok Alex just look here
"Carlisle shines light"Carlisle : you were very lucky !
Alex : well see your son as great as he is every time middle of a conversation LIKE HE WALKS OFF CHEEK OF SOME PEOPLE !
Carlisle : tell me about it. I asked him to powder My nose
He stares at me for 1 hours, storms out and from a distance OK CARLISLE !
Time passes and Alex leaves the ward to find Rosalie, Edward and Carlisle having a moment but instead of hiding behind walls she walks up to them
Alex : Eh Edward whats the story .. AND DON'T WALK OFF !
Carlisle : hahaha.. Rosalie lets let them talk
Edward : What ?
Alex : DON'T WHAT ME . You stopped the van. Whats the story ? What are you Edward by day iron man by night ??
Edward : I was standing right next to you Alex
Alex : do I luck like I fool ? You where miles away from me
Edward : Alex I think you hit your head.. Maybe you should get some rest
Alex : I could curl up on your boot..
Edward : what
Alex : I just want to know the truth Edward right !
Edward : cant you just thank me and get over it
Alex : cant you just swallow your stupid pride, get out of your shell take your top off and tell me ?
Edward : I hope you enjoy dissapointment
Alex : let me guess you have no Abbs ?
At the Quilettes Beach and Jacob Tells Alex About the Cullens
I skipped like 2 scenes but there small.. So there all talking when Jacob and friends come up
Angela : so I keep thinking Eric's going to ask me to prom and he just .. doesn't
Alex : HAS HE PROBLEMS .. Ill go over there now and give him an-
Angela : its ok.. Just you know
Alex : ask him yourself
Angela : is that not like bad
Alex : he cant say no
Angela : thanks alex
Alex : Ahh its grand
"Jacob and friends arrive"
Jacob : Hey Alex !!
Alex : do I not get a minutes peace . STALKED BY A HIPPIE ! Hey Jacob and friends
Jacob : your on my grass
And Friends : hey
Jacob : you ok
Jessica : shes just upset because her date failed
Eric : WHAT DATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jessica : she invited Edward
Alex : and what about it
Mike : well cullens a freak
Jacobs friend : yeah you got that right
Alex : here leave him alone right.. So the boy has staring and stalkin issues LEAVE HIM !
Jacobs friend : the cullens don't come here
Alex : WHY ? Do you bully them ?? DO YOU
Jacob : em before you shoot someone do you wanna take a walk ?
Alex : sure
Alex : so like what did your friends mean about the cullens don't come here because if there getting bullied Ooh ill -
Jacob : no its just like an old scary story
Alex : Ooh go on .. Tell me just is SAW in it I have a fear
Jacob : No anyway -
Alex : is the spock out of star trek in it because ill die
Jacob : em no
Alex : ok do go on
Jacob : well you no quielettes are desendents from wolfes
Alex : Ha so there dogs like
Jacob : no wolfes
Alex : Betcha theres little Golden Retrivers and all
Jacob : well my great grandfather the chief found them hunting on out land so we made a treaty with them if they promised to stay off Quil lands we wouldn't expose what they really are
Alex : So what are they ?
Jacob : Its just a story
Alex : tell me !!!Jacob : Google it
Alex : fine !!
After a while of googling later Alex finds in port angles theres a shop that sells them.. The next day Angela and Jessica ask her to prom shop and she goes little does she know theres rapists but ah well
The Dress Shop
Jessica : Ooh I like this one Alex what do you think
Alex : honestly ?
Jessica : yea
Alex : big, pink and slutley
Jessica : you've said that about the passed 5 dresses though
Alex : guess you have an eye for it
Angela : this really isn't your thing is it
Alex : no I just wanted to buy a dog book.. Hey can I come back later meet you at the resturant
Jessica : ok
Alex buys her dog book, and is walking to the resturant when she bumps into rapists who I will call Lonnie, Chip, Ger and eh Bill.
Lonnie : saw you at the dress store
Chip : hey your pretty
Bill : hang out with us
Alex : AHHHHHHHH GET AWAY FROM ME I DID KARATE WHEN I WAS 5 ILL WHIP YIZ AROUND
Ger : let me just
Alex : GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME !!!!! ILL BOOT YOUR AROUND !!!!
"Edward does big car trick around the corner and hops put ready to kill Lonnie and friends"
Edward : get in the car !Alex : get in the car what ?
Edward : Oh My God .. Get in the car PLEASE !
Alex : ok
Lonnie : that was dangerous
Edward : get over it
"Edward hops in car and starts driving 300miles per hour"
Edward : I should go back there and rip those guys heads off
Alex : I know you should a good box here and there
Edward : distract me so I wont turn around
Alex : MUSHROOM PIE !Edward : what
Alex : how many mushrooms in a mushroom pie ?
Edward : Emm
Alex : See I distracted you
Edward : true you are smart
Alex : I no
Edward : I think you need something to eat
Alex : ok
Edward : resturant ?
Alex : woohoo I'm starving
In The Resturant
The food order I'm about to make is for a laugh.
Waitress : Ok sir what will you have
Edward : Nothing thank you
Waitress : ok… mrs ??
Alex : starters garlic bread, chicken wings, toasted sandwhich and Main large chicken currie and a side of chips, spagetti and a few meat balls, a side salad some more garlic bread, chicken fillets side plate and some spicy sause and as for desert double choclate fudge cake more garlic bread and double vanilla icecream and 8 donuts and pickles and salami and ham --
Waitress : sorry are you ordering for 2 people ?
Alex : Emm.. Yes
Waitress : Ok ill be back with your order
Alex : tut
Edward : what ?
Alex : I wasent done
Edward : ok
Alex : how did you know were I was
Edward : I didn't
Alex : please don't start this I swear ill kill you
Edward : well I was trying to keep a distance but I heard what them low lifes were thinking
Alex : how did you hear the thoughts ?
Edward : I can read minds
Alex : cool I can juggle, but were all different
Edward : I don't have the strength to stay away from you any longer
Alex : what do you mean away, we in school together, were here together what more do you want ?
Edward : more
Alex : Ooh I see.. Start over again
Edward : fine. I don't think I have the stregth to stay away from you any longer
Alex : well theres more if you want more
Edward : woo
1 hour and 3 chorses of food later, Alex and Edward drive home to find another "animal" attack has just killed Charlies friend and Alex sees her feet flutters her eyes and cops on he's a vampire .. Reads the book googles things and decied to comfront him the next day in the forrest and heres what happened
The Next Day In The Forrest
This is in the forrest the most important part of the film were she tells him and this is how it went
Alex : your skin is like white, you don't eat garlic bread and I'm colour blind so your eyes do change colour
Alex : I know what you are
Edward : say it
Alex : a-
Edward : Out Loud
Alex : a-
Edward : say it
Alex : a
Edward : say -
Alex : STOP INTERRUPTIN ME JEEZ IM SAYING IT ! YOU'RE A VAMIPIRE !!
Edward : are you afraid ?
Alex : afraid ? IM SHITIN !!!
If you would like me to continue to the rest of the movie please leave a comment/review and I will post soon.. chanx