Boredom can drive people to the brink of insanity. Or at least, it drove SOME crewmembers into insanity. Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper were lying around the deck baking in the sun, and complaining about having nothing to do.
"I'm boooored." they all cried in unison for the umpteenth time that after noon. They had just gotten a fun new device at the last stop, and due to carelessness, it had fallen overboard.
"I'm Huuuungryyy! Sanji! Oyatsu!"
"You just ate lunch an hour ago Luffy so shut up!" Nami had put on her headphones and was listening to her mp3 player while she read on her lounge chair in the back of the ship. Robin was in the Galley making herself some iced tea to enjoy with a good book on this warm, summer day. Zoro kept her company while he scanned the wine rack in search of something good to drink as well. Zoro grabbed a bottle, popped it open and immediately began to drink. He walked out side and took up his post by the mast.
"Oi, Usopp." Luffy gurgled.
"...Nani?"
"I wanna play a game."
"Me too."
"Me three." Chopper agreed.
Zoro getting annoyed by their complaining quickly finished off his booze and tossed them the bottle. Relying on his reflexes, Luffy caught it mid-flight. "There, if you're so bored play with that. I'm gonna go take a nap..." He muttered that last sentence to himself under his breath.
Luffy pouted, "What are we supposed to do with a bottle?"
Usopp did his 'Captain Usopp Pose' and proclaimed: "WE SHALL PLAY TRUTH OR DARE!"
Luffy and Chopper looked on in fascination and then burst out into excited cheers.
"NAMI!"
"SANJI!"
"ROBIN!" The three of them called. They all poked out a head to see what was going on.
"WE'RE ALL GONNA PLAY TRUTH OR DARE!" No one else looked excited about it, but Robin smiled politely. Luffy pouted again, "Captains orders."
They all side and grudgingly made their way down to the main deck and sat down in a big circle.
"Oi, Marimo, you're playing too."
"Mmmguh."
"Captains orders." Sanji reminded.
Zoro breathed heavily, "Mmmmpf. Fine."
"I get to go first cause it was my idea!" Usopp proclaimed. He spun and it and as it slowed it pointed towards Nami's chair, but not at Nami herself.
"Nami! Truth or Dare?"
"That's not fair! It landed on my chair not me!"
"But you get to give out the next truth/dare whatever.."
"Fine. Dare."
" I dare you to give away over 10000 yen to the person of your choice. AND they don't have to pay you back." Usopp was nervous about such a bold dare, but he wanted to go through with it. All eyes turned to Nami. Her face was stone cold.
"C—Can I spin the barrel?"
"Neh, Usopp...what's that mean?"
"It means that we have to chose another dare for her to do so she doesn't have to do the first one."
"BOO!" Luffy pouted, "No spin the barrel! That's no fuu-uuun..." He complained.
"Luffy!" Nami scolded. But Luffy looked at her indifferently.
"Captain's orders." He said with a HUGE grin. Nami slowly, agitatedly, got up and went into the confines of her room. She emerged slowly and cautiously with a stack of bills in hand. She handed the bills to the small doctor.
"Here.." She said shakily, "I think we'll all benefit the most if the doctor has the extra money for medical purchases." She said all this through a clenched jaw and a forced grin on her reddening face.
"T—Thank you Nami!" Chopper smiled and tucked them into his hat for later
Nami was like a zombie as she sulked back to her deck chair. She sat down and just stared off into space.
"Dude, Usopp, look what you did, maybe we shouldn't do that again..."
"No shit you dumbass! My lovely Nami-san had to go through such painful torture because of THIS." Sanji pointed an accusing finger at Usopp and Usopp wriggled away as Zoro held on with ease to the belt of Sanji's pants to prevent him from getting to Usopp.
"Neh, Nami, it's your turn now." She instantly snapped out of her stupor.
"Yes, yes I suppose it is..." She laughed wickedly and scanned the circle of helpless victims. 'This is gonna be good...'
Nami kept her composure calm as the 'inner her' so to speak, plotted maliciously. She spun the bottle and waited for it to slow. Her smile grew as it slowly rolled towards Zoro. Millions of thoughts ran through her head, but she knew which one exactly to dish out.
"Zoro." She called sweetly.
He cracked an eye to glare at her. He sat up and removed his hands from behind his head. "What."
"Truth? or Dare?" It was more than obvious which one she wanted him to pick.
"Truth." He said. Not wanting to get up and do anything he decided to just pick truth so he could answer a stupid question, and get on with his nap. But then SOMEONE had to ruin his plan.
"Pussy."
The simple comment from Sanji was all Zoro needed to get revved up.
"You wanna die cook?"
"Like you could kill me, you wuss. You can't even take a dare."
"Bastard! I could take a dare if I wanted to!"
"So then Zoro, would you like to switch your choice to dare?" Nami asked in her sickly sweet voice. Zoro cringed at her tone, but agreed to take the dare.
"Chopper," She called, "Remember those experiments we were running?"
"Hai, Nami. But...are you sure that we should use it? I mean it hasn't been tested and--"
"Chopper!" Nami's sweet voice faded, "Go. Get. The. Syringe."
"Hai..Nami."
"Syringe?" Zoro was getting nervous. He didn't want a shot! Well, he wasn't afraid of needles....really he wasn't!...ok, well....maybe a little bit, but he wouldn't let it get to him. Actually, he was more afraid of what was inside the syringe then the needle itself.
"Got it, Nami!"
"Ok, Zoro. You dare, is to be Chopper's lab rat for his new...experiment."
Zoro stared at the liquid inside the bottle. It looked like used bathwater. Since he had no choice after taking the dare, he willingly stuck out his arm and closed his eyes waiting for the needle.
"This'll only take a second Zoro." the reindeer said as a consolation. He figured the swordsman was scared, seeing as how his arm was shaking and sweat could barely be seen on his furrowed brow.
Once it was done, Copper stuck a cute polka-dotted bandage over the spot where he had pierced Zoro's arm.
"Well, that should do it." Chopper brushed his hooves together at his accomplishment.
The entire crew sat staring at Zoro, waiting for something to happen, but nothing did.
"Nyaaaaaaaaah, this is booo-riing I want something to happen!......Sanji! Oyatsu!"
Sanji looked at the sun to determine the time.
"Alright, its overdue anyway. Zoro, come."
"Uwah? Why?"
"Cause if anything funny happens to you I wanna see it, and I can't see it from the kitchen."
"Bastard."
"Come, or no food...for anyone." He glanced at Nami and Robin who seemed rather indifferent to his threat. "Except for my beautiful, fallen angels." He bowed as he backed into the kitchen with Zoro, who was getting pummeled into the kitchen by Luffy's fists after the threat of no midday snack.
"alright, alright, Jesus Christ Luffy, I'm going!" Zoro sulked after Sanji and slammed the door, declaring how upset he was with the whole ordeal.
"Well...this'll be interesting." Usopp commented.
"Just you wait till the serum kicks in."
"But...nothing happened."
"No, nothing happened...yet..."
-------
"Zoro, chop these up and put them in the pan. Don't let them sit or they'll burn."
"Yeah, yeah." Zoro started chopping at wicked speed, as fast as Sanji when he was in a hurry. Sanji had to admit that he was pretty impressed. And he thought it was kinda cute the way his butt shook a little every time he chopped. Or at least, that is what the author wished he was thinking, instead, he was planning desert for his women.
"Oi, Zoro," Sanji tapped Zoro on the shoulder. Zoro jumped a little and accidentally burned himself on the stove.
Zoro dropped the pan and ran into a corner and cowered on all fours, growling in the stove's general direction. 'How dare that monster of pain attack me! I'll show him!...from WAY over here!' To say Sanji was surprised would be an understatement.
Zoro continued to growl until Sanji cam close. He then started to whimper. He crawled over to Sanji and nuzzled his hand with a surprisingly cold nose.