I didn't have anywhere else to go. I didn't have anyone else to turn to. I had a little girl's life in the palm of my hands. My little girl's life in the palm of my hands. She was small, tiny, beautiful. She looked like a porcelain doll. So fragile and poised, and so perfect. I swore that I would only be able to love my baby brother. He was the only person I could count on, the only person I trusted, the only person that I could love. But, when I found out I was pregnant, that all changed. I loved my daughter more than anything in this world and it was hard for me to make such a drastic decision that could put her life in danger.

I wasn't always a cynical person. When I lived with my father as a child, then a teenager, I was very cynical. I believed that love killed and would destroy everything and anything in it's path, almost like a tornado or a twister. It was destructive and it hurt. My mother went absolutely insane because she loved my father so much. When he sent her away because he fell in love with someone else, it broke her. She couldn't handle that kind of betrayal. But, she only really broke when my father decided to keep me with him in spite of her. She was institutionalized and hasn't been released since. Then my father loved my brother's mother so much that he shot and killed her, he was really aiming for my brother, but in the end that doesn't really matter much. I told myself that falling in love would only make me end up losing my mind or getting killed, so I decided to stay far away from the whole concept.

Then, daddy sent me away to live in Italy with my Uncle Rudy and his wife Josephine. They took good care of me and I was able to witness real love. Where someone didn't go criminally insane or die in puddles of blood. They were truly happy and I started to soften on the whole idea of love. People in Italy were different from the people I had grown up with in the Zacchara household. These people cared for one another, protected one another, and loved one another with everything they had. That's when I met Tommy. I had been living in Italy for about seven and a half years when I met him. He was tall, dark, and dangerous. He had brooding brown eyes, but the sweetest smile. He was a wonderful person and when he looked at me, he looked at me like I was the only woman in the room. We met through my Uncle Rudy. Tommy worked for my Uncle and was promoted to my personal body guard.

We officially met the day I was attacked on a way to a meeting. A thug held me up at gunpoint and he shot him down like a rabbit dog and saved my life. That was the day I fell in love for the very first time. The way he smiled at me, the way he reassured me everything was okay, the way his fingers brushed my cheek when checking to see if I had been bruised, the way he looked into my eyes, no one had ever made me feel so complete. I remembered the day he asked me out for the first time. He was petrified because he knew all of my beliefs on love. He was taking a real risk of asking out the woman he was guarding, who happened to be his boss' niece. But, he was so sweet. I just couldn't say no.

"Ms. Zacchara, may I have a word," Tommy asked after escorting me home from a meeting one night.

"Of course Tommy, you know you can talk to me about anything," I reassured him. His lips trembled a bit and that's when we stopped mid-step in the middle of my driveway.

"I'm taking a big risk here by asking this," he began, "and if you find it disrespectful I completely understand and I will let you be. But, I would like to have the privilege of escorting you out one evening." I smiled and patted his cheek.

"Tommy?" I asked, "are you asking me out on a date?" He let out a breath, almost relieved.

"Yes," he let out, a little more comfortably.

"Of course I'll go out with you!" I agreed. He smiled brightly and kissed my hand. I wanted a little more than that, but I was afraid if I planted one on him he might pass out, so I let the kiss on the hand be enough. He was sweet and he was such a dear friend. I couldn't think of anyone else I would have rather been with.

I remember how his eyes had sparkled that night. How touched he had been on me agreeing to go out on a date with him. I don't think I had ever known anyone to be that happy to be in my presence before. It was something to get used to, but it was something I got used to rather quickly. Once we started to officially date, he moved into the house with me, and we broke the news to Uncle Rudy, who almost had a cow. But, once he realized we weren't just screwing around, he was happy for the two of us. I remember, one night, after Tommy and I had been dating for about three years, my Uncle came up to me and said, "Claudia darling, I am so proud of you. I haven't seen you this happy since… since… well actually I have never seen you this happy. You did good for yourself, and I'm proud that you have found such a good man." It had brought tears to my eyes to hear him say those words, because that's when I absolutely knew that I loved him and I was sure to have told him that night.

We were upstairs in my bedroom, well our bedroom, getting ready for bed, when I made him sit down on the couch with me. I was going to tell him that I loved him and that was a very big deal, because the only other person I had ever loved was my baby brother. And, I hadn't talked to him in ten and a half years. I wasn't allowed any contact with my brother at all and it hurt like hell. But, I had to focus on one thing at a time, and in that moment my undivided attention was focused on Tommy. "Tommy," I whispered, "you are one of the best things that has ever happened to me and I don't know what I would do without you. You are amazing and you are the only person in this whole world that has truly cared about me and has been there for me. This is really hard for me, because I told myself that this would never happen. But, it has and I wouldn't have it any other way. Tommy, I love you." He was drawn back, shocked and surprised. He loved me too, everyone said so, they said it was so obvious, but he would never say it. He was afraid that thoughts about love would scare me away and he would lose me. He never expected to hear me say those words to him, but now that I did, there was no stopping him from telling me how he felt.

"Claudia Antonia Zacchara, I love you so very much. I don't want to be with anyone else. You are it for me and I love you so much," he expressed to me, and kissed me. We spent the rest of the night making love.

He was the only man that I had ever made love with, the only man I had ever wanted to make love with. No other man had veer made me feel the way he did. Tommy and I were so happily in love. A year later, he decided that he wanted to make our love and commitment to each other official.

He pulled me out on the dance floor of the restaurant. We were on a regular date. We made an effort to go out to eat every weekend. Business was hectic, so sometimes we didn't have the time. We were swaying to the song, "When A Man Loves A Woman", when he began to make his thoughts known to me. "Claudia Zacchara," he began, "I love you more than life itself and I want to spend the rest of my life living with you, fighting with you, making love with you, spending time with you, and creating a family with you. So, I'm standing here, with my heart in my hands, asking you…" He bent down on one knee and pulled an engagement ring box out of his right jacket pocket. I gasped and placed my hand over my mouth. "Claudia Antonia Zacchara, will you marry me?" I smiled, tears running down my face.

"Yes, I will marry you!" I accepted. He smiled brightly and slid the fourteen carrot gold engagement ring on my finger. I jumped up and down for a few moments before flinging myself into his arms. I kissed him and he kissed me and I kissed him back and we were kissing all the way back home, bumping into walls and furniture, making our way up to our bedroom. I pulled at the buttons on his shirt and tugged down the zipper on my red, strapless, sweetheart dress. Once we made our way up the stairs he picked my up in his arms and carried me into the bedroom, placing me gently down on the bed.

"I love you Claudia Zacchara," Tommy whispered into my ear, before caressing my neck with small kisses.

"And I love you Thomas Parachelli," I whispered to him before kissing him passionately on the lips.

I had fallen in love for the first time in my entire life, and he loved me unconditionally, which I didn't believe was possible. He took care of me and protected me, sadly, I was unable to protect him. A few weeks later he was driving home from a business meeting. It was raining cats and dogs that night and I couldn't wait for him to get home. I was extremely nauseous and sick that afternoon, so I asked him if he would sit in at a meeting for me. He agreed and a little while after he left, I realized that I wasn't sick, but I was pregnant. I couldn't wait for him to get home so I could tell him the amazing news. Sadly, he never made it home.

My cell phone rang and I raced to pick it up, hoping it would be my fiancée, Tommy. "Hello?!" I answered all cheery.

"Hi, Ms. Zacchara, this is Doctor Trysting, your fiancée was in a car accident this evening and we wanted to inform you of his grievous injuries…" I didn't even let him finish his sentence before I grabbed my coat and rushed out the door. I tried to be as careful driving on the road, even though, my worries and fears were overcoming me. The last thing we needed was for me to crash my car and injure myself and my child. I made it to the hospital in record time; they just finished surgery and I was able to sit with him. I cried the whole time he was unconscious. He had bruises everywhere. His eyes were swollen and black and blued. He had scars all over his body, and numerous amounts of his body parts were wrapped in white bandages and casts. I sat by his bedside and tried to speak reassuring thoughts to him. But, I was just so scared that he was going to never wake up, and then he opened his eyes.

"Claudia," he whispered, his swollen, scarred lips, slurring at the sound of my name.

"Hey baby, I'm here. I'm here and I love you, so much," I confessed to him.

"I love you to sweetheart," he coughed up. I grabbed his bandaged hand and held it lightly in mine. He entwined his fingers with mine and held on tightly. I didn't squeeze his hand, afraid I would hurt him. "You are the best thing that has ever happened to me…"

"Don't you dare do that to me," I began to scold him, crying my eyes out, " don't you dare say your goodbyes. Not now, not yet, not tonight."

"Claudia…" he tried pleading.

"No! I'm a stubborn bitch remember and there is no way in hell I am going to let you leave me!" I yelled at him and he managed to smile a bit. It was a crooked smile, but a smile it was.

"I love you, stubborn bitch or not," he reassured me. I laughed, trying to act as if I wasn't scared that he was going to leave me.

"Tommy, you can't leave me, you have to fight, for me and… and for our baby," I told him.

"Baby?" He questioned me.

"Yeah, we're having a baby, so you have to fight, you have to fight with everything you have," I demanded. He gave me his signature look. The look that made me feel like I was the only woman in the room, which I was but that was besides the point, and I was the only person he ever wanted to lay his eyes upon.

"I love our baby… and I love you…" he whispered before slowly slipping away.

"No! Tommy, No! Nooooo!" I cried, shaking him and screaming for him to wake up, but nothing worked. Once his eyes closed, I gave up on love, because no one would be able to look at me the way he did ever again. The doctors walked in and called the death. I trudged out, rubbing my stomach. I knew that the baby knew that it's daddy had died and that it was just the two of us now. Tommy left us and he left me to take care of a baby, our baby, all by myself. He swore he loved me, but he couldn't fight hard enough to stay with me. Love does kill and it always will. I was never going to let any man get close to me, just so they could leave me broken and abandoned. Never again.

I wasn't always cynical, but once I lost Tommy, I couldn't ever believe in love again. Then, nine months and a brutal eleven hours of labor passed and I held my beautiful baby girl in my arms. She was precious, so angelic and beautiful. Her name was Isabella Marie Zacchara and I had once again fallen in love. I loved my daughter with everything I had and I was never going to lose her or let anyone take her away from me. No one was ever going to take someone I loved away from me again.

I moved back to Port Charles New York after Izzy turned three. I wanted to take her with me, but knew that I couldn't. If daddy or Trevor ever found out I had a daughter, a target would be painted on her back and I was not going to let that happen. She didn't want me to go, but I told her that once it was safe I was going to come back for her and bring her to America to live with her mommy and Uncle Johnny. She agreed eventually. I sent her letters all of the time and presents, but that didn't fill the big empty wholes in our hearts, that needed to be filled with the presence of the other.

By August, I knew I had to stop running. I had to bring her to her rightful home, her home with her mother. I met many people in Port Charles, most of them hated me, but there was one person I knew I could count on to help me keep my daughter safe. He hated me, without a doubt, and I hated him. But I knew how much he loved his children and once he saw Izzy I knew he would help me protect her from daddy and Trevor.

So, I stood in my apartment, looking in through the crack in my bedroom door, as my three and a half year old daughter, Izzy, laid on my queen sized bed, sound asleep. I paced the floor of my apartment, waiting for him to show up. I knew he had a life, a fiancée, whatever, but I told him that a child's life was at stake here, so what was taking him so long?! A knock sounded from the door and I ran to it. I checked through the peep whole to see if it was him before I opened the door to let anyone into my apartment. It was him. So, I opened the door and let him inside. "Good you're here," I told him cheerfully.

"You said that a child was in trouble, so tell me what's going on and I'll see what I can do," He told me harshly. I obviously got him at a bad time, or maybe it was the fact that it was ten thirty that made him a little edgy. I didn't care, I needed my daughter's safety to be in tact before sunrise and I knew that I would only be able to do that if I had his help.

I started, "Okay, first things first, there's someone I need you to meet."