My mother Renee always told me that marrying young was the equivalent of throwing your life away. But then again, Renee has always been a woman of extremes. In 2nd grade, I made the mistake of telling her that I liked Tommy Monahan, the only boy in my class that didn't laugh at me when I accidentally spilled a canister of blue paint all over my pristine white blouse. Her reaction was fierce and passionate- "Bella, honey! You can't seriously consider dating before you're 30! Once you have a husband, you give up everything! Don't you want to go to college and get a good job?"
Suffice it to say, I thought she'd go ballistic when I announced my engagement to Edward. After all, I'm only 18. In Renee's eyes, I still had a good 12 years to go before I even considered settling down. But to my surprise, she was ecstatic. "How wonderful, sweetheart! Edward is such a nice boy. And from such a good family! Most girls will never have the love and security the Cullens have to offer." So it wasn't that she liked Edward, per se. She was just excited that her only daughter, humble and plain as she may be, landed a rich husband that would make sure she was taken care of for the rest of her life.
I'm not sure how Renee would react if she knew that Edward was a vampire. And that I planned on adopting his "undead" lifestyle once our honeymoon was over.
"Bella?" I hear the man in question call out from the next room, his tone anxious. Deep and meaningful as our connection may be, Edward's mind-reading abilities don't work on me. I know it sometimes frustrates him when we are separated, even by a wall, because it means he can't completely protect me. I'm a magnet for danger and freak accidents, so I don't blame him really. But sometimes I think it's a good thing that his supernatural gifts have limitations…it make things, well…normal. Or as normal as they can be, given the circumstances.
"In here!" I call out. I'm in the "white room" of his "mother" Esme's island villa, attempting to unpack the contents of the massive suitcase Alice so graciously prepared for me. As if I had a choice. It's filled with skimpy bikinis, bright shorts and tank tops, and frilly lingerie…lots of frilly lingerie. I guess Alice knew that I'd need a bit of help getting Edward to give me the one human experience that I wanted before the changeover. You see, like Edward, Alice has a very special ability. But instead of reading minds, she can see into the future. At least, she can see likely future scenarios, but it doesn't always happen exactly right.
I grab a short, lacy nightgown from the top of the bag, and run into the bathroom to change. I bump my knee on the way, but that's beside the point. What's a silly bruise in the grand scheme of things? God knows, I get them often enough.
Before I have a moment to breathe, I know that Edward is already in the white room. I stare at myself in the mirror, wondering how I, Bella Swan, (oops, make that Bella Cullen!) can possibly look sexy. The delicate, pink fabric makes my skin look soft and dewy, and my body look very luscious and…female. Alice sure knows her stuff. If this doesn't make Edward budge, nothing will.
I walk back into the bedroom, my head bent to hide the blush that is surely creeping down my cheeks. What kind of bride needs to go to such lengths to seduce her husband on her wedding night? This is so embarrassing! I can barely breathe, let alone look Edward in the eye.
"B..B…Bella?" he stammers. I can't help but gasp. Edward is the epitome of confidence and self-control. It isn't like him to be at a loss for words. I reach out my hand, and stroke his cool, stone-like cheek. I know he's nervous and uncomfortable, and I can't help the feeling of satisfaction that courses through my veins. Men, even undead ones, are helpless when it comes to a woman in a frilly, lace nightie.
"You promised," I whisper, as I stand on my tiptoes to kiss his cool, hard lips. His arms move to encircle my waist and pull me closer. I know that I must be breaking his resolve. He deepens the kiss, and we stumble onto the soft, king sized bed.
When I begin to unbutton his crisp, oxford shirt, he suddenly pulls away. His perfect, god-like features have been twisted into an expression that can only be described as anguish. I know that look all too well. He is choosing between what he describes as his own "selfish" desires, and what will keep me unharmed…maybe even prevent me from getting badly injured or killed.
"Edward," I groan, trying to hide my frustration. "I'm not breakable, you know. We can do this. I trust you." He lets out a heavy sigh, and stretches out on his side of the bed. "Maybe you shouldn't trust me so much," he admonishes, after what seems to be an eternity.
The satiny straps of the nightie begin to slip off my shoulders, revealing a lot more skin than I'm used to. I hear Edward's breathing falter. It's now or never.
"You never thought anything was possible with us, but it is! You lay beside me every night when I sleep and have never so much as harmed one hair on my head. You tasted my blood when you had to clear my body of James' venom, and had the will to stop and keep me alive. You married me, and promised to give this a try! I love you, I trust you! Just kiss me, dammit!"
Much to my elation, my words seem to work. That night, Edward gave me the best gift a girl could ever ask for. He gave me himself. It was the most beautiful, human experience known to man. His gaze never left mine, and as I predicted, I made it through unharmed. Not one new cut, scratch, crack or bruise.
The next morning, I was woken by the bright, island sun filtering through the white curtains. Even with Edward's cold body beside me, I felt warm, as if I had spent the night dozing before a roaring fire. I turned onto my side, excited to meet the golden gaze of my husband.
As a vampire, Edward doesn't require any sleep, so he always spends the night waiting for me to return from dreamland. I guess after so many years spent awake, watching me sleep wasn't nearly boring as it should have been. In fact, I think he secretly loved it.
When I rest my gaze on his still form, a wave of panic runs through me. Edward may not have harmed me, but had I harmed Edward? A single ray of sunshine can cause a vampire's skin to reflect light like a precious crystal. Even with all the light in the room, Edward looked completely normal, if not a little flushed. Flushed? I had never seen any color on any of the Cullens' pale faces. His eyes were closed, and his breathing was strong and steady. Almost as if he were…sleeping. Was this even possible? What had I done?