Title: Stages

Characters: John, Teyla, team, and others...

Episode: possible events after EATG

Disclaimer: Sadly, Stargate Atlantis and its characters are not my own. I make no profit, only for fun.

Comment: This fic was done for Jeyla4ever for this past Christmas' Beya's Secret Elf. I would encourage you guys to check out the others fics posted in Beya for the Secret Elf as well as the artworks. Jeyla wanted John and Teyla in either an establish relationship or developing with a happy ending but nothing cheesy. I also took some elements from the SGA novel, Homecoming that I am still reading. I will be posting all of the chapters this week.

Chapter 1 - Debate

John was draped over the railing of the catwalk in the East Tower. He had been out running for a little exercise, but mostly he wanted some time to think alone. He wasn't sure how long he had been standing on the catwalk because he was too busy wondering what was the next step in his relationship with Teyla and thinking about the next stages of his life.

He was thinking about marriage and babies which had been a little disconcerting for him since he never thought he would want to try the marriage thing again especially after his first marriage to Nancy had failed so badly. But that was exactly what he was thinking of doing and those old doubts of his were like swords slicing through his resolve.

There weren't many things that he feared or made him cautious, but this was one of the few things that made him a little of both. As a solider he wasn't afraid or cautious about anything especially dying. He's had to face death too many times to count the last few years, in two different galaxies and he had survived, not totally unscathed, for he still carried some of scars from his many brushes with death, but he had survived those experiences.

Nor was he planning to be reckless and put himself in harm way any time soon if he could help it now that Atlantis was back in the Pegasus Galaxy. The Wraith had proven that they were still very much a threat even with their once formable dominance in the galaxy severely weaken, and the Wrath, themselves had broken into fighting fractions. Those fractions had proven to be troublesome when not fighting each other during the past several months upon Atlantis return to the Pegasus Galaxy.

But for him for the first time in a long time, he didn't want to be that guy who didn't care if he went on a suicide mission and not because he feared dying. He would still gladly fight and if need be give his life for the people he cared for, for the people he loved, but his view and the focus of his life were much different from the man who walked through the Stargate seven years ago. His life had changed so much this past year. He was at a stage in his life that he was happy, truly happy and he didn't want to mess things up.

He was in a happily committed relationship with Teyla and he considered Teyla and Torren as his family. Torren may not be his biological kid, but in all the ways that matter, Torren was his son. He didn't think he could love Torren more even if Torren were his biological son.

He was helping to raise Torren because Torren spent the majority of the time on Atlantis with Teyla except for the conflicting missions or scheduled visits with his father. And what had surprised him was how much he had loved and enjoyed spending time with Torren and of course that had started him wondering what it would be like if he and Teyla actually had a kid together along with the "m" word.

Ooo

John sat back in his chair, staring blankly at the small black velvet box on his desk next to his laptop. Was he really going to do this? Was he really ready for this kind of commitment? It was a pretty big step.

Then again he hadn't though he and Teyla would be where they were now considering he had thought that he had lost any kind of chance with Teyla once he'd learned of her pregnancy and relationship with Kanaan. And once Kanaan had begun to live on Atlantis with Teyla after they'd rescued him and rest of Teyla's people from Michael even their friendship had seem in jeopardy.

John frowned at the last thought, the last thing he wanted to do right now was to think about was unpleasant memories of the past. Memories that included Teyla with Kanaan or what Michael's obsession with Teyla had caused. All that matter was he had gotten a second chance with Teyla.

John reached across his desk for the box. Opening the box slowly, then looking at the engagement ring he had gotten Teyla for the first time. It was one thing to see it on a website on his computer screen, but holding it in his hand was more profound. The ring was beautiful and yet understated. It was the best he could do soon quickly. He had called in a couple of favors. He was able to get a Knife Edge Diamond ring in white gold with help from his brother, Dave. Right now, Dave was the only one who knew about the ring and he wanted to keep it that way for now, not that he didn't trust Rodney and Ronon to keep his secret. Well he trusted Ronon to keep the secret. Rodney wasn't exactly known for keeping his mouth shut or secrets for that matter.

John studied the ring, his finger tracing the cut of the diamond. The one thing he felt most certain of was that he knew he wanted Teyla in his life, not just for the present, but for the long term. And he wanted Teyla to see it the same way too. And maybe that was the part that was freaking him out the most was how much he wanted that.

0oo

Teyla looked at John questioningly for a moment. She thought that John had been acting really strange all evening on one of the rare occasions she and John actually got to eat dinner alone in her quarter. John was usually flirty in these moments because it was so rare they got to be alone like this. So she had been excited about the prospect of tonight. She had been looking forward to her and John enjoying each other. But right now John seemed like he was a million miles away.

"John is everything okay?"

Teyla heard herself asked John as she put down her knife and fork on the small table next to her half eaten plate of food.

"Huh?" John replied looking a little bit surprised.

"I'm okay. Why you asked?"

"Because you are very quiet tonight. You seem distracted. Are you sure that nothing is wrong," Teyla asked.

"No, no everything fine Teyla." John answered in a reassuring tone before smiling wryly at her.

Teyla's brows arching told John she didn't quite believe him. John shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Teyla frowned slightly, but said nothing to him. Teyla felt that there was definitely something going on with John, but she wouldn't press him just yet about it. She wanted John to tell her what was bothering him on his own so for now she wouldn't press the matter.

Teyla reached for her glass of ice tea, giving John a soft smile. John looked at her seriously for a moment before he spoke.

"Ah, hmmm… Teyla actually I do want to talk to you about something."

TBC