It was an average and really quite boring day in Hyrule, and young Link was sleeping in his bed, truly comfortable. He had earlier in the day been out herding cuckoos in his hometown, Ordon Village. After his recent defeat of Ganon, he started his conquest of Princess Zelda. Unluckily, though Princess Zelda was a little bit intense. Link did really enjoy having his crouch intact. Besides, Link enjoys horses and other creatures, but Zelda does NOT. She had pets once, when she was young, but now she just has a lot of boots, gloves, cloaks, etc.
Link was sleeping undisturbed, when suddenly Fado burst through the door. "Link!" shouted Fado loudly, awaking Link from his slumber, "Get up! It's time for you to go out of this place and get a real job!" Link jolted upright in his bed shaking of various dirty magazines. Link was confused, wasn't herding Cuckoos a real job? Link whispered, "But Fado, I don't feel like it." Fado stared at Link condescendingly. With emotion Fado said, "Link I care about you. I want you to have a better life." Link said nothing; he only stood up and walked out the door. Fado followed him. "Link, here's an offer for a job at Malo Mart. Please consider it." Link stopped and dug his toe into the dirt. "No, Fado," Link muttered. Tears welled in Fado's eyes. "But Link," He said, "You need to improve your life." Link looked down at his feet and said, "Fado I don't want to leave you. And Ilia and the rest of course." Fado shouted, "Link, NO! You must go. I want all these young ladies to myself." Link laughed, "Okay Fado, get in their pants. For me." Fado only smiled.
Link ran into his house and gathered his things. He got dressed and wrote out his resume. Then he began to say goodbye to everyone. Once he got to Ilia he ran up and hugged her. Ilia was his childhood friend and at one time love interest. Ilia giggled and said, "Link, you seem more energetic than usual." Link smiled sadly and answered, "Ilia, I'm leaving. I want to get more of a name for myself and get ahead in life." Ilia, eyes red and brimming with tears she cried, "Please Link, don't go, you know, I'll really miss you." Link was blushed and promised Ilia he'd be back when he was a more respectable man. "Link, I'm let me come with you," Ilia commanded "I know you can't handle yourself on your own." Link was obstinate, "No Ilia, I have to do this on my own." Ilia turned away and said, "I understand Link, go and get your job." "I can't bring Epona with me. It would be great if you would watch her." Link answered. Ilia beamed "Link I can? Really?" Ilia instantly changed her mood. "I really would have missed Epona, too!" Link smiled and whispered "It's all ogre now." Suddenly, a group of moblins jumped out and dragged Link away. It truly was all ogre now.