Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot of this romantic little smutfest. All characters are the property of AMC and the brilliant Robert Kirkman.
His Peace
Daryl had never felt so alone or so wracked by guilt as he did at this moment. He knew he was the reason Carol was dead. He should have never let her come along when he went out for the supply run, should've locked the damn doors on the old piece of shit Ford that stalled out a mile from the school the group was holed up in and peeled away, leaving her behind in a nice, safe cloud of dust behind the gates. But he didn't. He let her come… was even happy for the company at first. And now, she was dead.
Daryl had been sitting on the hot pavement behind the gym, his head buried in his hands as the oppressive Georgia heat burned the back of his neck, replaying what had happened over and over in his mind. It wasn't a big deal at first- the car just broke down. They were on an empty stretch of road and only a mile from the school. They were both armed. They'd just walk back to the school. But before they'd gone twenty yards, they were surrounded. Several dozen walkers were bearing down on them from every direction. Daryl and Carol stood back to back, beating and slicing and stabbing as fast as they could as teeth and decaying hands grabbed at them. Still, they fought – ignored the odds that all but guaranteed they would not survive this encounter. Yet, somehow, the horde grew smaller and smaller and the pile of twice-dead bodies piled up at their feet. As Daryl pulled his knife out of the eye of the last standing walker, he sighed a premature sigh of relief. They'd made it… beat 'em… once again survived against all odds. He was almost smiling when he turned to Carol. Then he saw her pale face, the terror in her eyes, and the stream of blood running from her collarbone to her wrist that he knew right away wasn't walker blood. Carol opened her mouth to speak, then collapsed. Daryl caught her just before she hit the ground. He rushed her over to a thickly wooded area that would provide them a modicum of safety and set her down in the shade of the heavy brush. Gently, he pulled back her shirt and saw the fresh walker bite on her shoulder, just above her clavicle – a place impossible to amputate. A wave of disbelief and helplessness swept over Daryl. This couldn't be happening. Not to Carol.
Carol was the first person in this shitty, zombie-infested world that he befriended – the first person he let get close to him. He admired her, respected her, loved her like a sister. He knew her feelings for him leaned on the romantic side but she never pushed it, didn't begrudge him that he didn't feel the same way, wished him all the happiness in the world when he confessed to her, about a month before, that he had fallen for Beth. And now, here she was, dying in his arms because he didn't have the heart to tell her "no" when she wanted to come along.
Daryl stifled a sob and ground the heel of his hands into his eyes in a fruitless attempt to stave off the tears. His body ached from fighting the walkers but even more from grief. His neck and shoulders were burned to a cherry red from the sun but he couldn't even feel it. All he felt was the pain of losing his best friend.
Daryl heard soft footsteps approaching. He didn't have to look up to know it was Beth. He knew her walk better than his own by now - the sound her boots made when they hit the pavement, the way she still limped ever-so-slightly since the accident with the bear trap. He felt her sit down next to him and allowed her to take one of his hands in hers. She didn't press, didn't ask him any questions, didn't say anything at all. She just held his hand, stroking it gently with her thumb and allowed him to grieve silently.
He was the one that eventually broke the silence.
"It was my fault." He muttered, his voice a gravelly whisper.
"No." Beth replied simply, certainly.
"Why did I let her come with me? I shoulda told her to fuck off!" Daryl said, a flash of anger coursing through him.
"Because that's not the kind of person you are." Beth said quietly. When Daryl didn't respond, Beth gently placed her hand to his cheek and guided his eyes to hers.
"This wasn't your fault, Daryl." She said. Her eyes – those cornflower blue jewels Daryl had come to love so much, were shiny with tears – tears for Carol and tears for him, for what he had lost. Daryl had been trying to hold in his own tears since Beth showed up, but looking in her eyes – at the sincerity and sympathy and tenderness she held there, he felt his resolve crumble. Daryl's face crumpled as Beth took his head in her arms and held him to her chest. Daryl wrapped his arms around her and allowed the sobs to wrack his body. Beth was the only person in the world he could ever be this vulnerable with - the only one he'd allow to see him cry. He didn't have to pretend with her, never did, not since that day at the moonshiners shack all those months ago. So he let the tears fall as he breathed in her comforting scent and she ran her fingers softly through his hair.
They stayed like that for a while. Darkness was falling around them by the time Daryl finally lifted his head from Beth's wet shoulder and leaned his forehead against hers. It was well past dinner but Daryl had no desire to eat anyway. All he wanted now was to sleep. Sleep and hold Beth.
"Stay with me tonight." Daryl muttered quietly, his eyes closed. He could feel Beth's sweet breath on his face and it soothed him.
"Ok." Beth whispered. He knew she knew there was no euphemism behind his request – no expectations. They had not, as of yet, crossed that bridge in their relationship. He just wanted to be near her, hold her through the night, calmed by her presence.
Beth lifted her forehead from Daryl's and placed a warm kiss there, then took his hand in hers. Together, they walked toward the entrance of the school.
They passed a few people on the way to Daryl's room but none of them stopped him or pressed. He had told Rick and the others what happened the moment he got back, his hands and clothes still covered in Carol's blood, his voice catching in his throat as he recounted how she died. Not one of them cast blame on him. Rick simply bowed his head in grief while Maggie started to cry quietly and Glenn wrapped his arms around her, tears rimming his own eyes. Beth just looked at Daryl, a pained expression on her face revealing that she knew exactly how much Carol's death affected him. She reached out to him and placed her soft delicate hand on his arm. That was his undoing. On the verge of breaking down, he left the room without a word, walked to the nearest restroom and scrubbed the blood off of his hands, then went out the doors of the school and ended up in his purgatory behind the gym until Beth came to find him.
"I'm sorry I just left ya earlier. I didn' think I could say anything without breakin' down." Daryl said suddenly to Beth, feeling like an ass for walking away like he did.
Beth shook her head.
"It's ok, Daryl. I understand." Beth said. And Daryl knew she did.
When they got to his room – a disused 6th grade classroom at the end of a dimly lit hallway, Daryl let them in and immediately took Beth in his arms again. He needed to hold her and feel her close, know she was safe. Beth's head was resting against his chest, her arms wrapped tightly around his waist. Daryl breathed deeply, taking in Beth's scent, allowing it to wash over him and ease some of the pain he was feeling.
Beth lifted her head from Daryl's chest and looked in his eyes.
"It's gonna be ok, Daryl. It's gonna hurt like hell for a while, but you're gonna be ok." Beth said. She then placed her lips to his softly, tenderly.
Beth's kiss was like a drug for Daryl. When her lips were on his, he didn't feel guilty or grief stricken. All he thought about when Beth was kissing him was how sweet she tasted, how perfectly her body melded with his, how much he wanted her – wanted to know what she felt like pressed beneath him, her body his to explore.
Daryl felt himself growing hard against Beth's abdomen and for once didn't feel self conscious about it. Instead, he deepened their kiss, his tongue parting Beth's lips. She moaned quietly into his mouth and Daryl pulled her tighter to him, lifting her up in his arms. Beth responded by wrapping her legs around his waist, her pelvis pressed tightly to his throbbing erection. Daryl backed her against the door they had just walked through, his groin grinding against hers. She moaned into his mouth and Daryl pulled his lips from hers, dropping them to her neck, pulling at the collar of her shirt to expose her milky shoulder which he pressed his lips to. He trailed the tip of his tongue from her clavicle to the divot at the base of her throat, up to her earlobe, tasting her, relishing the escape and peace she offered him with her caresses and kisses.
Beth's hands found the buttons on Daryl's sleeveless flannel shirt and she deftly undid them. She pulled the fabric from his body and he shrugged it off to pool at his feet. Beth unwound her legs from Daryl's waist, eliciting an involuntary groan of protest from him, but Beth just smiled and began trailing kisses down his muscled torso, her hands stroking his abdomen as she fell to her knees, kissing the muscled area just below his belly button. Daryl was shocked when he felt Beth suddenly start working at the fly of his jeans, making quick work of the button and zipper. She slid them off his waist and smiled up at him surreptitiously before hooking her fingers in the waistband of his boxer-briefs and pulling them down revealing his hardened and prominent manhood. Daryl's heart raced with desire and anticipation and he couldn't help the reflexive jerk and moan of pleasure that escaped him when Beth took him full into her mouth. Daryl's hands braced against the door, his eyes closed as he relished the feeling of Beth's lips and tongue as they worked on him.
Daryl could feel the heat rising within him and willed himself to hold on, hoping that this was just a prelude of things to come. As if reading his mind, Beth suddenly relinquished his shaft, then trailed her tongue up his abdomen until she reached the base of his ear.
"Make me yours, Daryl Dixon." Beth whispered in his ear and Daryl felt every fiber of his being ignite with desire. He crushed his lips to Beth's while simultaneously finding the hem of her t-shirt, breaking his lips from hers only long enough to pull it over her head. She was wearing a simple white bra which he made quick work of, sliding it off of her body before taking her left breast into his mouth, teasing and caressing her nipple with his tongue while his hand worked her other breast. She moaned and panted as he stroked her and Daryl's excitement mounted again, nearly undoing him. He wondered how he was going to manage to hold on with Beth grinding against him, so fuckin' gorgeous and sensual. Feeling as though he might come apart if he waited much longer, Daryl quickly undid the button of Beth's jeans and slid them down her legs along with her panties. She was naked now and Daryl felt an almost unbearable ache to be inside her. With a primitive growl, he hooked his arm behind Beth's knees, swept her up in his arms and carried her over to the old mattress covered with threadbare blankets that was his bed.
He lay her down atop the blankets and stationed himself above her. He covered her mouth with his again, his tongue dancing with hers. He couldn't ever remember being so damn turned on by any woman he'd been with in the past. But Beth was different in so many ways - so kind, so genuine, so beautiful – he shouldn't be surprised by how amplified his desire for her was. After all, she was the first woman he had fallen in love with.
Daryl froze and his lips broke from Beth's as the realization that he was in love with her crashed over him. Beth, breathless, looked at him with concern. He was staring at her, gazing deeply into her eyes, drinking in her beauty and allowing the warmth of his love for her consume him.
Beth reached up and cupped Daryl's cheek gently with her hand.
"You ok?" She asked quietly.
Daryl continued to gaze at Beth until the words came of their own volition.
"I love ya." He said, his voice sounding surprised even to him.
Beth's eyes widened slightly and Daryl felt something akin to embarrassment course through him. He had never uttered those three words to any other soul in his entire life and he had no idea if this was a good time to say them. Would Beth think he said those words just because he was about to bed her?
To his relief, Beth's face broke into a small, soft, smile - no sign of mistrust or doubt in it.
"I love you, too." She said warmly, stroking his cheek with her delicate hands. A small smile made it's way to Daryl's lips as he leaned down and placed a single tender kiss on Beth's lips. Then, his eyes locked on hers, he guided his manhood into her.
He heard Beth gasp quietly as his shaft entered her warm wetness. She was trembling beneath him and he looked at her with concern, locking his dark blue eyes with her cornflower ones, trying to discern if she was ok.
Beth smiled and nodded, answering Daryl's unspoken question. Yes, she was ok. Yes, she wanted this… wanted him.
Keeping his eyes on hers, he began to move in her, only breaking eye contact when he'd lean down to kiss her lips, her cheeks, her neck, and anywhere else his lips would reach. Beth's hands gripped him hard, her nails digging into the sensitive scar tissue on his back. He didn't care though. He did not, could not, feel any pain at this moment.
When Beth's body began to shake beneath his and moans of pleasure began escaping her lips, Daryl increased his pace. He still kept his eyes on hers, watching as her pupils dilated and her cheeks flushed red as she climaxed with a cry of pleasure. Watching Beth come to her fall was Daryl's own undoing. As Beth's womanhood tightened and throbbed around him, he let go with a throaty growl, crushing his lips to her as he came.
Quivering and drenched in sweat, Daryl collapsed atop Beth, his head resting on her breast. Beth's fingers threaded into his hair and she held him to her, her body glistening and her breath still shaky and quick. They stayed like this for several minutes as they came down from their climaxes. Daryl held Beth tightly, his arms wrapped around her waist. He could not bring himself to let go. She was his peace. When he held her, made love to her, the shit of the world didn't exist and couldn't touch him.
It was a long time before Daryl finally rolled off of Beth, but he kept her in his arms. She lay her head on his chest as he held her, inhaling her scent. The pain of losing Carol was still fresh in his mind, but it didn't hurt quite as badly while Beth was in his arms. It was like she was Novocain to his hurting and guilt ridden mind.
Daryl felt Beth's lips touch his chest just above where his heart beat. He pulled her a little closer, her body now nearly fully atop his. She sighed and Daryl wanted to drown in her, let her anesthetize him to everything but her. Because when he was with Beth, he didn't feel consumed by the guilt of Carol's death. He didn't feel like the world was falling apart just outside the gates of the school. When he was with Beth, he wasn't wracked with anger for what the Governer did to his Brother and Herschel. He couldn't feel the pain of his fucked up childhood or the uncertainty of what his future held. When he was with Beth, all he thought about was her – how good she felt in his arms – how she could light up a room with her voice and touch and mere presence. How her body fit his like a key to it's lock.
"Hey, Beth…" Daryl said quietly.
Beth lifted her head and looked at Daryl. He reached up and stroked her cheek with the back of his calloused hand.
"I meant it ya know. I didn't just say it 'cause of what we were about to do. I love ya Beth." Daryl said quietly.
Beth smiled softly.
"I know." She replied warmly. She scooted herself up and placed a tender kiss on Daryl's lips.
"I meant it too." She whispered.
Daryl put his lips on Beth's again and kissed her fully. She had given herself to him when he needed her most, taking away the hurt for at least a little while. Daryl sighed and closed his eyes. With Beth in his arms, he fell into a deep and peaceful sleep.
