As I gaze into the eyes of my bond mate I wonder why my life has taken this horrible turn.

Why am I forced to suffer like this?

I am almost 16 with the weight of the world on my shoulders. I have been betrayed by the man I thought of as a grandfather and my father figure is dead. The only other male influence I have in my life has abandoned me due to my godfather's death and I am alone.

I always gave been.

I have been forced to watch the deaths of thousands thanks to my scar, a curse given to me the day of my parent's death. I was beaten and starved by my last living blood relatives and now I am being forced to bond with a man that hates me.

What did I do to them?

I, Harry James Potter, am being forced to bond with Draco Lucius Malfoy for my own protection; I personally do not believe that. I believe I am being forced to bond with him so I will not kill myself the next chance I get and he happens to be the only available at the moment.

I'm so sorry Draco. My selfishness costs you so much.

As I stare at the blond man in front of me I see that he is just as confused and is hurting just as I am so I cannot hate him. Only the one who I can hate is the one that forced us together, and even then I cannot hate the man too much as he is only doing what he thinks is best.

What is best for the world but not for me, never for me.

As I watch the light that burned, so passionately, in my bond mates eyes go out I know my eyes now match his, the only thing about us that dose match, our dead eyes. No matter the reason or good intentions the man has just cursed us both to a terrible life.

Oh, what dead eyes you have.

Not living just existing, I fear we will never again enjoy our lives, as they are forever intertwined with this damn war. A war that killed so many people, a war that has left thousands broken, a war that only I can end.

Neither shall live while the other survives.

A war that is not ours to fight, we shouldn't even have to worry about his war. We are children! Children should not learn to kill other humans; we should not learn the correct way to interrogate a prisoner. We should not be made into weapons.

I'm a monster, one that the world created, one that the world will fear. They create monsters at a frightening rate.

Even so, I feel a fait feeling of kinship with my bond mate. For, I, deep in my heart, I rejoice at the thought of us suffering together, and feel a little guilty as well because I am happy I am not to suffer alone.

I'm a selfish person at heart maybe that is why I am being punished?

As we say our vows I watch as Draco's now dull gray eyes, eyes that once held such feeling, I feel just a small part of myself die and know my once expressive green eyes show it. Another part of me dead, one piece gone with my parents, another with Sirius, one with Remus, and one for each friend that betrayed me

Am I human still? Do I have enough soul left?

I just survive, always survive. The stone, I survived. The Chamber, I survived. The dementors, I survived. The tournament, I survived. The Ministry, I survived. This, I will survive.

How I long to live and not just survive.

Our bonding is over, we are now and forever bonded, unless one of us dies we are to be together forever, never to fall in love and be happy, we are nothing but puppets' waiting for our master's to pull the strings. We are always read to perform.

Always ready to serve our masters.

With an inaudible sigh I step down from the large alter the bonding ceremony, it was a beautiful ceremony, has just taken place on I gently tug Draco's unresponsive arm, he's in shock, and lead him to our new rooms.

They want us to bond emotionally, a way to make us suffer all the more.

I try not to meet anyone's eyes, as we walked past the many guests, why must they be here to watch our deaths, and our puppet masters, Snape, McGonagall, and the headmaster.

It's their fault we are suffering.

When I reached our rooms, they like our ceremony are wonderful; I pulled the unresponsive teen inside. Only one bed, I'll sleep on the couch. I see tears on Draco's face they cause my very soul to cry out in agony. I know what he's thinking of, or rather whom he thinking of, it's him.

Blaise Zabini. They one he loves.

I know this because I am thinking of someone as well, Draco, my wonderful Draco. How I wish you would love me. They ruined it all. You will never return my love now! I am cursed to suffer all my days. For the man I love is forever in my grasp yet his heart belongs to another.

Why me?

Draco. Blaise. My hell; my personal hell, to be around him yet never be able to hold him to tell him I love him. My unrequited love is going to be the death of me.

I'm already dead.

Draco, he needs help. I push the broken hearted teen onto the bed; he's still crying. How I long to wipe them away. I take off his shoes and make sure he gets covered.

No matter what I will try and make this easier for him. He should have to suffer due to my selfishness. I will try and lessen his suffering all the while hoping and praying I see the light in those once passionate now dull gray eyes return.

Even if it means I don not return from the final battle Draco will one day be happy again. I swear it.

My fate forever sealed, by the dead eyes of the man I love.