Element One: The Recidivism ComplexA Mass Effect fanfic by Malethoth KazyanenkoNOTE: all mass effect characters are owned by biowareor someone i dont really know the copywrite but they AREN'TMINE so dont steal them 0kChapter 1: Dark Forebodings: Ascension of the InversionWith a heavy sigh, Commander Shepard cut the FTL comm link that linked him to the Council. Even though Captain Anderson was now the human seat on the Council, the politics of war never were made any easier because of the aliens' tendency to only serve their interests and not really think ahead you know like Kaidan Alenko says a few times if you talk to him in the mess hall (this is a callback to the video game itself) and Shepard was worried that the Council even though they really liked him were not prepared enough for the return of the Reapers from dark space (author's note: oh by the way spoilers) because Shepard knew that the Reapers were real and they had big plans for everyone but no one knew why they did what they did and they were probably pretty evil so Shepard knew he had to stop them.He glared at the crew of the SSV Normandy, even though he knew that they were not responsible for the conundrum he found himself currently in and facing but even though he knew that he did it anyway because he was relieving his anger and frustration with the Attican Traverse's political machinations and they weren't there so he had to take his anger out on somebody else so he chose his crew. Umm, what happened next? Oh yeah um so he went down to the engineering deck and got mad on the way because of how slow the elevator was and said to himself "man I bet the Reapers have faster elevators, those alien machine bastards!!!" because everything that made him mad was directly tied to the Reapers at least in his mind (he is very dedicated to extimerinating the Reapers because they are bad).Once he was down he spotted Urdnot Wrex, the krogan who probably got killed if you were stupid and didn't have a high enough Charm or Intimidate talent rank to convince him to sit back and watch the extinction of his entire species so he was still bummed but Shepard knew how to cheer him up because Shepard also had experiences with the total wiping out of species because of the Prothean beacons and also the Cipher that the one asari chick on Feros gave him that allowed him to understand Prothean culture more than before so he and Wrex had been growing more close."Shepard," grunted Wrex."Wrex I have bad news for you," sad Shepard sadly."I bet it's not as bad as your father betraying you and your entire species being condemned to a slow death as timeless monstrosities from beyond the stars slowly regather and contemplate the utter subjugation of all we can ever know, their ineffable motives spanning thousands of years, their most minute action inscrutably better-planned than the greatest salarian tactician; even as we rally against the triumph over the Sovereign, we look to the frigid depths of dark space where an infinite armada of his kind wait with hungry eyes to devour the galaxy and vomit out cold vacuum."Shepard frowned and then said "no we're out of toiler paper."Wrex grunted. "I won't wipe your ass for you if that's what you're insinuating."Shepard grinned knowingly and said "I don't want you to wipe it... I WANT YOU TO FUCK IT." and then Wrex and Shepard started having gay sex because it turns out that most aliens have sex the exact same way humans do except that krogans have four balls which gave him super-powerful orgasms as he climaxed into the cavernous walls of Shepard's triumphant anus."Thanks Wrex," said Shepard."You're welcome Shepard," said Wrex (he's a krogan).Shepard felt a little better but he knew that their biggest problem was the impending Reaper invasion so he went to talk to Liara because she knew more about the Protheans than anybody and they knew a lotabout the Reapers, enough to reverse-engineer the mass relay technology and build the Conduit so logically she would be a good place to go if he wanted to learn more about the Reapers so he went to go see her and said "Hi Liara I was wondering how you are doing since we destroyed the Sovereign and trivialized thousands of years of asari, turian, and salarian galactic dominance by means of a single human-built ship, saving the entire galaxy because your races were too blind to see just how badass humans are.""Shepard that is not very nice! The asari helped out with defeating Sovereign!" protested Liara angrily because she did not like it when people said mean things about the asari."No they didn't they actually helped out Sovereign by working on the rachni queen information recovery project to pinpoint the location of the Mu Relay as well as being integral components of the Thorian project through which Saren achieved a non-trivial degree of capability with which he found Ilos and nearly destroyed all of galactic civilization," retorted Shepard.Liara burst into tears and then Shepard slapped her with his mighty rod of righteous renegade indignation and might."Anyway I wanted to know what the fuck the Reapers are up to," inquired Shepard with a knowing look on his face."How should I know, do I look like I have a third eye in the middle of my forehead that enables me to see the future and read the minds of inscrutably ancient mechanical nightmares whose very existence renders the entire paradigm of organic life moot and wasted?" she screamed."Uh I just thought maybe you'd have some theories on why this stupid cycle of exinction keeps happening, it's like a goddamn Matrix plot ripoff that didn't make any sense in the 1990s, and the Reaper didn't even TRY to explain what the fuck was going on, at least Morpheus told Neo why there were humans in jars and shit," Commander Shepard said."Hmm good point," murmured Liara with a hungry look in her eyes.TO BE CONTINUED(please rate and review this is only my second fanfic so its not my best work but i like it so THAAAAAAAAANKS:):))