A/N: I was bored, then I had inspiration! So I wrote this, a play on the wonderfully horrible 'My Immortal' by xxxbloodyrists666xxx, which can be found on this website. You should read it, it's great for a few laughs. Not to mention bleeding eyes, poser-ish like tendencies, random sex descriptions, and the strange urge to tell people to 'fuk of.'
Mi POV
I wook up suicidally. I got out of my black n red coffin cuz I'm a vampire. Then I changed out of my long blak nitgown and put on a tite black jean miniskrt, a blacke and read stripped long-sleved tshirt, old blakk Convese, and loots of white fountain and black ilyiner. All I hade to do was wait 4 da bus so I cut meh rists to pass the Tim.
"I'm so goffick." I whishpered loudly and sexily to the mirer.
I watched me bled until the blood stopped. Then I hooped on the bush and sat next 2 meh friend Hellana (get it cuz we r goffic and Gerald is so sexah). "Hellena Davey Raven Dementius Maxia Alexis Otter Iero!!1!!!1!!" I shreekied in her ear. (btw shes not aktully related 2 Frank Iero cuz if she was shed be soooo lucki!)
She luked at meh wit her blak rimed pink eyes, cuz shes only part vampire. "Wat do u want, Enoby Holly Jade Omaris Kristen Ebony Wolfi Elizabeth Tiara Demonica Girafii Way?"
And no, Im not like related to Gerod, cuz if I waz id be so for incezt! "I saw him yestrday," I said all depresed lik.
"Aw1!!83! Did u punch him or do u wnt me 2 do it 4 u?" she asked sexily.
"Naw, he put his glock in my tool and ten he dyed," I said happly.
Her is got rel bick. "how did he dye?" she asked curiosly.
"oh he just got all goffick and decyded to slit his rists for no reel reson." I reassured her suicadilly.
"oh k!" she mumbled randomly.
Then the bus stoped and we lept of and just then 5 of the 9236167 guys who lyke meh 4 some reason poped out of nowere. "HI EDONY!" Draco, Hairy, Voldymore, Snap, and Loopin chrosed suiciadly.
I loked at them. "Make oot wit each other," I commanded, cuz bi guys are the sexxxxx!1!!1
They all started kissin except for the one goffick guy named Drago so I mad him feel bettah by sleepin wit him behind the bus. "Oh goffic guy!" I said as I starting haveing a orgi.
"U dont kno mi nam?" he said suicadially be4 slittin his rists and dieing.
I started 2 cri becuz I loved him and slit my rists even tho I cant die cuz I'm a vampire. I dyed anyways and went to Hell and got meryidd to Satan.
Fin
A/N: I might write more. It wouldn't make sense, but neither did the original fanfic, now did it?
XOXO Fuck Sincerely,
Shae