A/N: I was just at a con and one of the Ed cosplayers inspired this, sorry if it's complete crap, but I had to write it before it ate my brain.
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Once again, our favorite blond alchemist returned to East HQ after wreaking havoc on an unfortunate town where he had been assigned to investigate a water contamination problem. He was in a foul mood because this mission was taking valuable time away from his search for the philosopher's stone. He stomped down the hall towards Colonel Mustang's office with a proverbial storm cloud over his head. Alphonse followed behind his brother, his armor clinking despite the fact that he wasn't stomping. Edward slammed open the doors to the office and stomped towards the Colonel's inner office. Alphonse stayed in the outer office and winced when Ed slammed the doors to the inner office open.
"Colonel Bastard!"
"What did you do to the town this time, Fullmetal?"
"Nothing! I just came to give you the damn report!"
"Then give it to me, or are you too short to reach my desk?"
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT HE NEEDS A LADDER TO REACH A NORMAL DESK?"
"You, bean sprout."
"Colonel Bastard!"
"Shrimp"
"Asshole!"
"You are being immature Fullmetal."
"Yeah, well at least I don't bend over for Archer!"(1) Everyone in the outer office froze. Ed put the report on Mustang's desk and stomped out of his office. Al followed dutifully behind him.
"What does Mustang bending over have anything to do with this, brother?"
"You don't need to know, Al"
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(1): This was actually what the cosplayer said. It was hilarious!