Title: Bust
Fandom: Alias Smith And Jones
Genre: Drabble. Fluff. Humor. (This might even be considered crack!fic.)
Rating: K (General audience)
Word Count: 420
Disclaimer: Alias Smith And Jones and its characters are property of its copyright owners. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is taken from this story.
Summary: POV from one of the primary characters in The McCreedy Bust.
I should be throwing my hands up in exasperation right about now (you know, if I had any). I can't believe I've been taken by force from the McCreedy ranch yet again by Senor Armendariz. Is this what I've been reduced to? A mere pawn in the asinine game of one-up-man-ship between these two new-world thugs? I can't believe this! That I have to live this way! Me! Julius Caesar, the greatest Emperor Rome ever had! (Or, you know, a chunk of marble carved into his likeness. Same thing.) I deserve to be displayed with honor in the finest homes and museums in Europe, as I was for centuries before that... that... that... Neanderthal purchased me and transported me away from my home to this untamed land.
I have to be honest, here. It wasn't too bad, at first, being on display at the McCreedy Ranch. Not up to par with even your run-of-the-mill European castles and mansions, naturally, but probably the best I could hope for in this uncivilized country. I figured I could stand it for a few decades until I was restored to my rightful place.
But then that Spaniard mixed-breed snatched me away in the dead of night from my rightful owner and spirited me away across the river to his even less civilized Rancho. I shudder when I think of how I spent most of my time locked away, in the darkness, far away from any admiring eyes. Only to be brought out at irregular intervals and placed on display, not with honor -- oh, no -- but in the midst of a fiesta! As a party attraction! Oh, the humiliation!
I was almost relieved when those two thieves stole me from Senor Armendariz's safe. I was apprehensive at first, I admit, until I saw where I was headed -- back to Mister McCreedy. At least this was a place I was familiar with. I settled in. That was a mere few days ago. I sigh. My comfort hasn't lasted very long. Just as I am put back on display and I think everything is getting back on track, that Mexican bandito crashes his way in and snatches me again. And so now I'm headed back across the river to a life of darkness punctuated with periods of light and noise and drunken debauchery.
I close my eyes and resign myself to my fate. It is the only thing I can do now to honor my standing as a bust of Caesar, Greatest Roman Emperor who ever lived.