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As Zophar stood in front of the full-body mirror in his dreary, slimy headquarters, admiring his brand new, multi-colored, androgynous state, he couldn't help but notice the way the contrast in the blue of his hair and the pink in the surrounding flaps brought out so much intensity in his eyes. Now, just to add a finishing touch to those fierce, perfect gems... He stretched an effeminate hand out to grasp his eyeshadow; it was a tradition of his to gussy up before every apocalyptic battle. Ah, yes, nothing got him in the mood to devastate a world like his favorite past-time: cross-dressing. Just as he opened the container holding his color of choice, he heard a whiny, pleading voice coming from the middle of the crystal formation nearby. "Please, Zophar, let the humans be," Lucia cried, and the more he tried to ignore her, the louder and more tinny her begging became. "I'm your true enemy, so let this battle be between us-"
"It rubs the lotion on its skin."
He tossed a bottle of Dove body cream towards her, only to have it ricochet off the transparent stones encasing her.
"I... what?..."
"It rubs the lotion on its skin," he repeated, rolling his eyes in agitation, "and puts it into the basket again." Why couldn't she just be a good dolly and leave him alone?
Lucia, in a state of utter confusion, decided that it was best to remain quiet. Zophar, meanwhile, went back to what he was doing and applied a gracious helping of eyeshadow to his eyelids. You could never have too much royal purple, and the intensity he'd noticed in his eyes before had doubled. As he continued his routine and gently spread the mascara, he began to fantasize that he was, in fact, a woman. When he added the wine-colored rouge to his face, his reverie became deeper, and he actually began to become aroused by his own mirror image. Gods, he looked good. So good... As the burgundy lip-stain glided over his mouth under the careful direction of his graceful hand, he asked his reflection,
"Would you fuck me?"
His lips began to tremble with excitement as he answered himself with, "I'd fuck me."
The tremors moved into his hand as the anticipation grew. He didn't know if he'd last until the battle ended as he continued, "I'd fuck me hard." It was almost an afterthough when he quietly added, "I'd fuck me so hard..."
He was so lost in his daydream that he didn't even notice that Hiro and his band of misfits had arrived, and were gawking at him incredulously. The flying pink powderpuff was hastily covering her mouth, trying desperately not to vomit. "It's getting more and more difficult to take this guy seriously," Hiro finally said. While he and the others still sood in silent awe, Ronfar began to snicker and cackle at the sight before him. Zophar, stunned and outraged that his ritual had been interrupted, roared, "Don't you judge me! I'm more beautiful than any of you could ever dream of being!"
Tucking his genitals between his legs, he spread his arms out, waving his body in what was supposed to be a seductive manner. "Gaze upon my perfection, puny mortals!"
Ronfar, who had just seconds before nearly been in hysterical laughter, was rapidly growing pale in the face as he muttered, "Okay, this just stopped being funny..."