One Shot: A Christmas Gift
Author: Dark Wings Of Imagination
Genre: Romance/Family
Rating: T
A/N: I was thinking and decided to finally write my first x-mas fic. So in this, let's pretend since the day Calvin was taken by his mother Olivia hadn't seen him and beside the "Semper Fidellis" necklace Elliot sent her she hadn't heard about him either. Set five years in the future.
Olivia Benson sat at her couch with a cup of hot coffee in her hands and just stayed there staring at nothing at all. It was Christmas Eve and she was alone. But since Calvin was taken from her and Elliot left the squad that is the way she had been feeling, no matter how many people could be with her she would still feel the loneliness she knew so well stab her heart again, so she just preferred to stay alone at her apartment.
It's been five years since Calvin was taken from her and when happened it felt like her heart had been ripped out of her chest and after that Olivia was no longer what she used to be. For the briefest moment of her life she felt like something was right, but as it always seems to happen to her it didn't last long. But she managed to ease the pain, until that day.
"That day" it's the way she calls the shooting day. This day is the other reason why she is so lonely. That day her partner and best friend, Elliot Stabler, in a defensive act, shoot a young girl and that ate him away and as the girl's life faded away so did Elliot.
He was her twelve year partner, her best friend and her love. She had loved him since the moment their eyes met for the first time. But it was a forbidden feeling, he was married and she would never dare to treat it by telling him the way she felt.
She loved him for twelve years and he just left her without saying good-bye, the only sign of life she had from him was his "Semper Fidellis" medal he sent to her, and even though he had hurt her she wears it every single day in hopes she will ever get him back again.
The lasts five years had felt like hell to her, everything she wanted and needed was gone and she didn't have a cue on how to get it back and this is, probably what hurts her the most.
After a while she looked at her wall clock and checked the time: midnight. It was Christmas day.
"Merry Christmas Ell and Calvin. Wherever you might be just hope you are happy".
She whispered to herself as a silent tear ran trough her face. With this she finally went to sleep.
EOEO
Christmas Day came faster than Olivia wanted it. She woke up at 8:00 a.m. and already had ten messages on her voice mail; she didn't even care to listen to them because she knew that at least eight of them were from Alex or Casey wishing Merry Christmas and trying to convince her to go to their Christmas dinner and the other two were probably from one her co-workers.
She spent most part of her Christmas day sitting in her couch watching some holiday's specials. Around 2:00 p.m. there was a knock on her door, presuming it was Alex she got up of her couch and made her way to the door already speaking to the person on the other side of the door.
"Alex you better don't try to drag me to one of your parties again or I will-" she interrupted herself when she came to the realization of who was standing in her door, and for a split of second she didn't believe her eyes.
"You used to be nicer when I was around" the sixteen year old boy told her smiling.
She pulled him to her and gave him a hug, or at least she tried.
"And you used to be smaller." She replied smiling truly for the first time in five years.
"Well, I guess children are meant to grow up." he said to her.
"Yeah, I guess they are".
Olivia was out of words. She couldn't believe Calvin was standing in front of her. She missed him so much and now she had him here.
He stood there waiting her to finally notice him and when she did she ran towards him and threw her arms around him. He returned the hug and held her even tighter.
"I missed you" she whispered in his ear.
"I know. I'm sorry. I missed you too." He whispered back to her.
"Let's come in. This is not a hallway talk"
Olivia said to both of them and they entered the apartment.
Olivia was shocked to say the least. After five years Calvin was with her again and so was Elliot. She was happy to have them with her, especially being Christmas day but she knew that some things needed to be cleared between them, mostly between her and Elliot.
The three of them sat in the living room in silent for a while until Calvin saw something that caught his attention. He then turned to Olivia and said.
"I can't believe you still have the draw I made to you on your fridge!"
"Well after you were taken from me it was the only piece of you that had left me"
Olivia stared at him closely and she couldn't believe how much he had grown up in the last five years.
"I guess you were as sad as I was, weren't you?" Calvin asked turning his attention to her. He missed her so much. She was really his mother, she took care of him when he needed to and he hoped she would be willing to do this again.
"Yes, I was. But tell me how you two decided to appear? Or this is just a dream?"
She spoke her last sentence with a truly fear of this being just a dream. Before any one of them could respond she felt herself being pinched by someone and she let out an "ouch" before turning to a laughing Calvin.
"What the hell Calvin! Why did you do this?"
"If it hurt it meant you are not dreaming".
She smiled. He hadn't change at all.
"Okay. So, which one of you is going to tell me how you decided to appear together?"
Elliot decided it had to be him. He owned an answer to her.
"I did. I came to realization that I couldn't just sit and wait to what happened just disappear, because it won't and with this I was only hurting you. So I contacted Calvin grandparents and they told me that they loved their grandson but he was miserable without you, so I asked if they would allow him to come with me they said yes, as you can see, and… well the next thing we showed up at your door on Christmas Day"
She had listened to every word carefully. She could tell he was truly sorry and she could also hear the hurt in his voice when he talked about "That Day"; in one thing he was totally right it wouldn't disappear, no matter how hard he tried it would still haunt him but as the time passes it can be eased.
She grabbed his hand and looked in his eyes for a few minutes until Calvin spoke up
"Olivia I asked something to my grandparents when Elliot went to their house and they agreed with me but they said that you will have to agree with it too."
"What it is?" she asked quite curious.
"Can I live with you again?" Calvin asked her. Part of him feared she would say no, but deep inside he knew she wouldn't let him down.
"Of course you can. You don't know how many times I wished this" she said to him and pulled him into a hug.
She was overwhelmed; she would have him with her again.
"Okay mom, now you can let me go you are suffocating me" he said to her as she let him out of her embrace, he looked at her and saw tears forming in her eyes
"Are you okay?" Calvin asked her concerned he had said or did something wrong.
"Yes, I'm great. It's just… I… you just called me mom". She said.
"If you don't want then I don't call you mom." He said to her.
"No, no. I loved it when you called me like that, is just I wasn't expecting but I couldn't be happier." She said to him.
It was true he had caught her by surprise but she loved it. When he called her mom her heart exploded in happiness and joy and these feelings didn't fit in a smile so they burst out in tears.
Calvin sighed in relief; she scared him for a moment. He knew he couldn't just call her Olivia anymore, it wasn't right, she wasn't just any other person, no, she was his mother.
EOEO
They spent the rest of the afternoon and the beginning of evening chatting about everything they had done in the last five years. Calvin told them about the school, about his friends and the girl he had a crush on. Olivia told them about the new squad detectives and that both Alex and Casey were back and a few other things. Elliot didn't talk too much and when he did was only about his kids. Around 8:00 p.m. Calvin said he was tired and he wanted to sleep, Olivia set her bedroom to him and he went to sleep.
After she was sure Calvin had slept she went back to the living room where Elliot was and sat next to him in the couch. For a good amount of minutes neither of them talked, they didn't really know what to say or how to say what ever that had to be said. Until Olivia couldn't take the silence any more.
"How are Kathy and the kids?"
"They are fine. Kathy is fine. She and the kids are in Boston, visiting her mother for the Holidays"
Olivia didn't understand full well why he wasn't with them.
"Why you are not with them?" She asked him.
He took a breath before answering her question. He knew where this was going, and even though he wasn't sure if he wanted to talk about it, he knew he would have to.
"We divorced. After I shot that girl I became even more distant to her. I pushed her away, the same way I did to you. After two years living that hell she said to me she couldn't bear anymore, she was sorry for leave me like that but it was too much for her. And I don't blame her, I let my demons interfere in my marriage and it just ate me away."
She couldn't say she was surprised, she knew the impact that it would have in his life when she saw him shooting, and when something like this happens, it just consumes you until there's nothing more left.
"I pushed you away Liv and I am sorry it took me five years to finally see the stupid mistake I was making. If you only knew how many times I picked the phone to call you, but every time I did it I thought "what I am going to say? Hi Liv, I miss you; by the way I can take the image of the dead girl out of my head. Bye" no, I wouldn't do this, but these five years without you were though to say the least".
He said to her in the most caring and regretting tone she had ever heard from him.
"That makes two of us. These five years without you and Calvin were hell to me. Really I don't even know how I survived it."
Olivia said as pain gripped her heart. Her life without them was so empty that sometimes she asked herself if it was worth living.
"Liv I am sorry for what I put you trough, but there's something I need to confess: I love you. I don't expect you to forgive me for what I done to you, and I don't think these three words can make the pain I caused you just go away, 'cause I know it won't and this is not what I expect. I just need you to know this and I hope someday you can give us a chance and I will wait until you are ready."
She was shocked. After seventeen years he finally said to her he loved her.
"Elliot I have been in love with you for seventeen years, I waited seventeen years for you to say you loved me. What you done hurt me but I forgave you a long time ago, 'cause if I didn't I wouldn't be wearing your medal every single day. And if you think we should give a chance to it then we will"
Olivia was relieved for finally be able to say to him she loved him, she knew that deal with him wasn't easy, but she would do everything she could to work it out, so was he.
Elliot was smiling for the first time in years. He leaned towards her and kissed her. A kiss full of love and promises. When they came out for air he said to her
"You, me and Calvin, a family, what do you think?"
"I think it's perfect. Merry Christmas Ell, I love you."
She said to him while their foreheads rested against each other's.
"Merry Christmas Liv, I love you too"
He said and kissed her again.
They couldn't be happier. This Christmas would be unforgettable. They finally admitted their feelings for each other and it would change their lives forever, because this Christmas love was given to them.
For Elliot it meant a new beginning. He had a second chance and he will make right this time.
For Olivia it meant her life returned to her. Her love and her son came back to her and this was all that matter.
Although Calvin had sounded asleep, he wasn't. He heard all their conversation through the bedroom's door and couldn't be happier. This is was the best Christmas he ever had, he gained a family and there isn't a better gift.
"Merry Christmas mom and dad, I love you"
He whispered and finally went to sleep.
A/N: Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed and please Review.