This story continues from the end of season two when Austin, Trish and Dez have just said their farewells to Ally and left to go on Austin's tour. The tour goes for 94 days over the summer break. Ally stayed behind to create her own album. Austin gave her a card before he left that he intended to end to her if she did not show up to say goodbye.
Words Not Said
It's been ninety days since they left for tour; they'll be back on Saturday. Honestly, I'm dreading their return. I'm glad to have Trish back more than anything else. I've been calling and video messaging her all summer. The thing is that I haven't spoken to the others at all since they left. Well, not true, I spoke to Dez a few times on video chat with Trish but that's all. I'm sure that Dez will be okay with it as we were never as close as the others, but I still love him...not like that though. It was Austin that I never spoke to.
I'm really nervous about seeing him. I've been tracking his tour; I know where he has been performing and any news that the media decided was juicy enough to share – no romance stuff, mostly meeting fans and all that. Trish even fills me in so that I know what they've been up to but I never allow her to invite Austin to join in our talks. I'm convinced that by now he probably believes that I'm mad at him or even worse. What else is he supposed to think of three months and not a word from me? I know that once he's back in Miami I will have to confront him about my actions but the truth is I don't even know why I've been this way toward him.
The thing that makes what I did so much worse is nothing of my doing; it's what Austin did. To be more specific it's what he gave to me before he left. Their where three things in the envelope that he gave me: The first was a letter written on a purple card with a bouquet of flowers and the words 'Thinking of You' written in cursive on the cover. The second was a plane ticket valid at any time to anywhere that Austin gave me in hopes that I'd join them on tour at some point. Of course that never happened. The third thing was his guitar pick that he used the first time he played for me. I told him one time in the practice room that I loved how well he played and that I had always wanted to learn. He even offered to teach me but I said no. I don't know why I said that but it was around the time when we, you know, kind of kissed and went out for a bit but decided we were better as friends; so I guess it was just seemingly to awkward.
Then there's what was written in the letter. On the left side of the card he wrote the lyrics to his song, 'Think About You', and on the right he wrote this:
Dear Ally,
I really wish you chose to come with us but I understand why you didn't. Your own album is a huge opportunity and I am really happy for you. I am going to miss you so much every day but we will talk all the time and I promise that I won't be gone too long. I will be thinking of you every moment and when I perform, I'm doing it for you.
Love always,
Austin
So he basically made the most super sweet gesture towards me right before he left for the summer. You can see why that made me confused. I never understood what it meant. Or worse, I thought I knew exactly what it meant. Basically it scared me because, although I'm not afraid to admit my feelings for him are still there, I think I just felt more comfortable keeping them to myself. It's kind of like that feeling that you get when you like someone and no one knows but you. It's like a secret that makes you feel so wonderful giddy and you don't have to share it; essentially a secret crush. But the point of a secret crush is that it stays secret so that they don't know and you don't have to act on it.
Yet I'm fairly certain that what Austin's intentions were by giving me what was in that envelope were a little different to what I was felling. And knowing that makes me nervous; and uncomfortable and awkward and anxious and unsure. So my decision not to talk to him was basically to avoid confrontation of both Austin and some locked away feelings. If he was really trying to say the things I think he was then I just can't handle that pressure because I honestly I'm not even sure what I feel. I only know that it's for him and it is that sort of feeling...or something like it.
. . .
I'm standing behind the counter at Sonic Boom. My shift finishes in... three hours. When I'm working throughout the day I spend most of my time thinking about Austin. That's only because I'm scared of what will happen when he gets back. I've imagined a hundred different scenarios, good and bad, but none seem like they will sort out whatever is going on. For the first fifty days of his tour he would call me more than once a day. Then it became a few times a week and slowly not at all. He even stopped trying to talk to me through Trish. I can't lie about how much I do miss him. Today is like any other day. I'm lying with my arms over my head as it rests on the counter thinking about Austin.
All of a sudden, someone rings the counter bell right next to my ear. "Hey! Wha..." I closed my mouth. He was so perfect. With sandy brown hair, long enough to be pushed back messily under his floppy grey beanie. His body was so perfectly structured, I'd bet swimmer with that tan. His cheekbones were so sharp and his jaw line so strong. And his lopsided smile; those dimples, the way he tilted his head the tiniest bit to the left. He wore a black Rolling Stones muscle tank and colorful striped board shorts. How blue are his eyes? Did I just sigh?
"Hi, I was wondering if you have a bathroom I could use," he said. The way that he spoke looking directly at me made me giggle under my breath.
"I, uh, yeah...in...back there," I stuttered as I fumbled with my hands to gesture in the direction of the bathroom. Mental face-palm.
"Thanks," he said, "I'm Lucas, by the way."
"Al-Ally. I'm Ally," I replied, shaking his hand far too gawkily.
"Nice to meet you, Ally," he smiled as he headed to the bathroom. I nervously waved back at him until he was out of sight. Please tell me I didn't just do that.
When he came back he walked right up to me and leaned over the counter. "Ally, I want to take you to dinner tonight. What-do-you say?"
"Mhmm...I mean yes, I'd like that."
"Great, I'll pick you up at 8:00," he smiled and grabbed a pen, "Do you have any paper?"
I shoved my forearm in his face. He chuckled, wrote down his number he left the store smiling. As I watched him leave, I looked down at my arm and smiled. I can't believe he just asked me out. Then it occurred to me that he looked older than me; at least eighteen. Oh, who cares if he's two years older; he's beautiful. I placed both my elbows on the counter and rested my chin on my fists. As I watched the clock above the door I thought about tonight's date with Lucas. For the first time in a long time, I was daydreaming about someone other than Austin...