Disclaimer: Here's a random fact: Coca cola/coke is very acidic. Here's another random fact: I don't own Prince of Tennis, or any of the characters. :)
Rating: PG-13, purely to be safe for some of the language
Warnings: Crack, fluff, veering crazily between the two like a drunk camel, some occasional language, Niou.
Summary: It's Niou and Choutarou… on their first date. Unfortunately, Agent Kirihara and Agent Marui are on a Mission to follow them. Fluff!crack.
Author's notes: Another Rikkai Drabblething. You don't have to have read the ones that come before this, but it might help a bit. The drabblething list goes:
Times of Stress
Passing the Time
How to ask out Marui Bunta
Four Days Later
October Ice
Because I Love You
Evil
Further Nonsense
Dear Diary
Kind of… the same
100 Word Challenges
Driver in a Hurry, Child in a Coma
Doctor, doctor!
The Woes of Solomon Grundy
I'm Not Going
The Little Things
I Had To
He WHAT?!
Operation: Christmas Party
Being Fukubuchou
Once Upon a Time
My Brother Bunta
Dear Diary: Living with Niou-senpai
A Morning at the Pool
This is Love
SFRR
And So It Begins
Most Unexpected
This Is March 5th
No Small Wonder
The Last Day Of A Stage in Life
Back to Basics
Blame it On the Damn Vodka
Papercuts
The Stuff of Myths
Finally Understood
Dear Diary: Beginning the Third Year
Operation: Disbelief
If you were hoping for more Tango plotness in continuation of the last chappie of October Ice… -shrugs sheepishly- You probably don't love me very much right now, is all I can say. n.n;; LOL. You'll have to wait a leeetle longer. Right now is Myth Pair!
I love all the people who liked the latest Dear Diary and October Ice instalments, and I especially love the following people for reviewing 'Dear Diary: Beginning the Third Year':
LadyChaos (Always happy to provide ;D), The Magical Whatever (I'm actually sure I nicked that from somewhere, but when I tried to remember where so I could credit it I came up blank…), Silent Slayer 2000 (It's… bizarre. Don't try it), KiriharaAkaya (Yes, yes you do. –Throws packet- Don't blame me if you die, though), May-Linn (That's what he said in the OVA, yeah, but Akaya didn't hear it, right? Xp), Blufox (Um… -Shifty eyes- Yeah, um, I totally didn't get Marui mixed up with Oishi on the 30th…), Britix ("fits together perfectly with the next one"? xD Not sure what you mean, but thankies!), Pikke Wood (I'm sure Jackal won't hold it against you ;p), Hropkey (It rains a lot. Remember to pack an Arc if you come here), Ella86 (What can I say but x33333?), Ahotep (Don't show it to your priest:o He might sprinkle holy water on me and I'll MELT), ScribbledDreams (Oh, everyone loves the Aka-chan!), Linc (-Snorts- Poor little you indeed! Your crack always makes me laugh out loud ;D), EikiTouYuIchiMaSyuke Angel (There will come a day when I can type your name without having to check the review like, five times…), Simmy.xxx (:o I LOVE Winnie the Pooh! It makes me OMGspasmOMG), TheNewKid25 (He tries, bless him xD), Toh Sock (Of course! He's like, the anti-Tezuka) and Roaming Phantom (… Please tell me you can't see Niou as a Catholic?!).
-Points above- I gave everyone their own sentence thingy to make up for my lack of updates… n.n;; If that counts for anything at all xDD If you don't like me saying things to you in my AN, just let me know and I'll stop. :)
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Niou bit at his penknife, trying in vain to get out the little screwdriver.
He gave up after six or seven attempts, and scowled when Choutarou chuckled lightly at him.
"Hey, you try working a penknife one-handed," he muttered. He chucked it over and nodded at it when Choutarou caught it. "Go on, then."
The silver-haired boy obediently put one hand on the table and carefully manoeuvred the screwdriver out with his teeth. He got it about halfway out before it slipped and entrenched itself back into its clot with a click.
Niou looked triumphant. "See?"
Amused, Choutarou shook his head and used his other hand, giving it back to Niou when he'd gotten out the screwdriver.
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Mission Report
Time: 1120 hours
Weather: Warm with a slight breeze
Field notes: This is Agent Marui reporting. Commenced Operation: Disbelief at 1100 hours, together with Agent Kirihara. Our briefing was to observe and monitor the first date of our targets, as certain parties believe that there is basically no way in hell that this relationship is going to work. Ever.
Targets are currently in 'Sweet Spring' coffee shop. We have followed them in and are observing them inconspicuously.
Target one (henceforth referred to as Spiky) appears to have trapped his hand in a box and is enlisting target two's help (target two henceforth referred to as Not Spiky) in freeing it by unscrewing the lid of the box.
Spiky and Not Spiky? Really? They're not very good names.
Agent Kirihara, you have to write in a militaristic fashion on a Mission Report. And write neater; your handwriting is practically illegible.
Sorry. Why can't we just talk instead of writing on here?
Because Spiky would hear our voices.
Oh, right. Understood, Agent Marui.
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"Ow." Niou glowered at the box and put his penknife away in his pocket. "Stupid thing. Why do the staff here think it's a good idea to have the sugar and stuff in there anyway?"
"I still think we should've asked for help rather than demolish the box," Choutarou said, still looking reproachfully amused.
"And sacrifice my 'no-one (bar occasionally Hiroshi purely because he's a lucky bastard) gets the better of Niou Masaharu' Rule? Never."
That made Choutarou laugh, and he started gathering up his things with a smile on his face. "Come on, let's go."
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Mission Report
Time: 1125 hours
Weather: Getting hot
Field notes: Spiky and Not Spiky have left the coffee shop and are walking down the highstreet towards the park. Prior research received from the Intelligence Sector (i.e. Yanagi) indicates the presence of some sort of miniature festival here by the park's pond. Possibly the destination of the targets?
So far, we have not seen any evidence of strife or even uncomfortable silences, despite Spiky's evident nervousness. However, Not Spiky seems blissfully unaware of this. Must commend Spiky's acting ability.
Or possibly Not Spiky's tact.
Dear lord, you know the word tact?
Don't do that thing with your eyebrows. You look like a really frightened cod.
Agent Kirihara has been temporarily suspended from commenting in the field notes.
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"I've never been to this part of the park," Choutarou commented, looking around with interest as they walked. Sakura petals were everywhere – a thick carpet of them covered the grass and paths, and more fluttered down through the air with every nudge of the breeze. It was absolutely beautiful.
"Stop putting flowers in my hair!" Niou finally yelled, giving a cherry blossom tree a passing kick. That only succeeded in a fresh load of petals raining down and getting caught in Niou's hair, and he brushed violently at them in frustration.
"Oh, don't hurt yourself, Niou-san." Choutarou caught his wrists and pulled them down. "They can't be that annoying. Besides, they look quite nice. Ne?"
He stopped talking as he suddenly realised how close they were. They'd stopped walking as soon as Choutarou had grabbed the older boy's wrists to stop him knocking himself out. Which he was still holding on to.
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Mission Report
Time: 1129 hours
Weather: About the same as 1125 hours
Field notes: This is Special Agent Kirihara reporting. Agent Marui is in a critical state of shock. So am I, actually, but Agent Marui actually fell over and hurt his fingers so I have to write. And I've promoted myself to Special Agent so I can write the field notes.
You can't promote yourself! I'll write the report, thank you.
As reported earlier, we followed the targets into the park (research from Intelligence says the park is called Kanagura park) at a distance, but were forced to get closer as cover lessened to avoid losing them. Spiky appeared to get very annoyed with a tree (highly recommend a Talk With Mura to be prescribed later) and attacked it and then himself. Not Spiky intervened and grabbed his wrists and said something about the petals looking nice and not to hurt himself getting them out. Note that at this point they were standing face to face. A tension filled moment ensued. And then 'Haru freaking blushed. I mean Spiky, sorry. But honest to Buddha, he went red and pulled away, muttering that he'd stop. And then they continued walking.
Have never seen anything like it.
Exactly. Please note that we might develop post-traumatic stress disorder after this and require cake.
You mean green tea. Agent Marui means green tea.
Right, that too.
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Choutarou looked slightly bewildered, blinking slowly at the spectacle before him.
"You never seen a Punch and Judy show before?" Niou asked above the cheers of the children as the sausage-stealing crocodile got hit on the head with what was probably a rolling pin.
"No, never. Which one's Punch again?"
"No idea. Might be the crocodile."
"Then… what's the woman called?"
Niou snorted. "If you can call that a woman. I think she's Judy."
"Oh, I see." Choutarou resumed watching with a little frown of deep concentration. He started as Niou nudged him in the shoulder and turned to look at him again. "Hmm?"
The other boy had on a lopsided grin. "Don't take it so seriously, Ohtori. If you don't like it, or don't get it, no worries. We can go look at some of the little stalls."
Choutarou looked surprised for a moment, and then glanced hesitantly at the garish, bobbing puppets. "But that would be a little rude to the puppeteer, wouldn't it?"
"Relax." Niou stood up and brushed himself off. "It's not a theatre or anything. Look, people are just coming and going as they please. Come on." He was rewarded with a heart-melting smile.
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Mission Report
Time: 1150 hours
Weather: Hot
Field notes: Targets have won a goldfish from one of the stalls. Agent Kirihara is in a state of distress and I have had to stop him from jumping out and rescuing the goldfish several times. He claims that Spiky will eat it, but after giving him a stern pep talk he has gained his composure and will be able to continue the mission in a professional manner.
Not Spiky seems to be having an excellent time – we can report (and I can confirm from personal experience) that Spiky is never boring.
We are very interested to report that Not Spiky has somehow succeeded in persuading Spiky to buy and eat toffee, one of Spiky's known nemesiseseses. Ses.
We are beginning to suspect something amiss here, anyway. Possibly Spiky is in fact Yagyuu Hiroshi, the Gentleman, who has been a known accomplice of our intended target for a long time. Well, at least a year.
But the Gentleman wouldn't blush.
Maybe he would. Because he'd straight (although this agent would like official confirmation of this from Intelligence, please), right, so maybe being that close to a guy would make him embarrassed.
Hmm… The plot thickens.
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Niou almost made a break for it. As if his nerves weren't bloody shredded enough, damnit!!
"How good to see you both here. Together." Oshitari's tone was perfectly polite with just a hint of entertained.
"Ah, Oshitari-senpai." Choutarou didn't seem embarrassed at all. Niou gathered up his reserves of courage that he kept for emergencies and managed a passable disdainful smirk. It wouldn't have held up under any of his teammates, but it would do for Oshitari.
"Good to see you too, I suppose," he drawled. "Sorry, but we have to go and… and find somewhere to… find people to give toffee too." Right, yeah, that was convincing. Not.
"Toffee? What a coincidence. Gakuto loves toffee. I was just on my way to meet him at the Hyoutei courts. Why don't you both come with me? We could play doubles."
"Don't you have classes to go to?" Niou asked, smirk becoming more scowly.
"Classes are cancelled all across Hyoutei today, as I'm sure Choutarou-kun told you. That includes the high-school section too, you know. What about Rikkai Dai?"
Niou shrugged carelessly.
"Oh, I see. Playing truant to go on a date with Choutarou-kun. How sweet."
Choutarou blinked, and then turned to Niou. "You're missing classes?"
I Will Kill You, Niou's glare informed the tensai. "Not missing, as such. I'll still get the notes and everything, so it's fine."
"From Yanagi and Yagyuu. I see."
I Fucking Hate That 'I see' Of Yours, Niou glared.
Oshitari couldn't speak Deathisimpendingese, but he could get the gist of it. "Language, Niou-kun. Come on, let's go play some tennis together, hmm?"
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Mission Report
Time: 1300 hours
Weather: Still hot
Field notes: Ignore previous theory of Spiky having been replaced by the Gentleman. It's definitely Niou.
I thought the whole point of calling him Spiky was because you shouldn't name names in a Mission Report?
… Yeah, but how else was I supposed to put it?
Anyway. Resuming report. It's definitely him because the Gentleman can't replicate that scary gleam in his eyes that Spiky gets when he's really enjoying winning over his opponent at tennis.
Opponents.
No, opponent. He's not acknowledging Flippy at all. Don't interrupt the Mission Report, Agent Kirihara.
Anyway. Targets engaged in battle with members of Hyoutei Gakuen (high-school division) at 1220 hours. They will henceforth be referred to as Flippy and Smirky.
Sounds like a bad 80's cartoon from America.
Agent Kirihara has been temporarily suspended from commenting in the field notes again.
Current score of the game is 5-3 to our targets. Will stay and observe.
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The ball thudded past a panting Gakuto, and the look on Niou's face was one of utterly satisfied triumph.
"6-3, I believe," he said smugly, high-fiving his doubles partner. "Nice work, Ohtori."
"Best of three sets!" Gakuto demanded, levelling his racquet at them.
Niou shook his head and gave him a deliberately patronising smile. "Sure your stamina can take it? You still jump around too much. You're not gonna last long on the high-school tennis circuit if you can't play three sets, you know."
"I can too play three sets!"
"Pft," Niou snorted. He tossed his racquet at Oshitari. "Thanks for the racquet and game, tensai-san."
"My pleasure. You've gotten much better, Choutarou-kun."
"Oh, no, it's purely thanks to Niou-san that we won," Choutarou said, embarrassed.
A loud beeping startled them all, and Gakuto bounced over to his bag to get his phone. He read the text message on the screen then waved at Oshitari. "Yuushi! We gotta go!"
Oshitari walked over and started sedately packing up his things, catching his breath. "Well, I'm sure I'll see you both around," he said, nodding politely. "Give my regards to Yukimura-kun, would you?"
Niou shrugged. "Sure. If I remember." Which meant no, of course.
"Jaa." Oshitari and Gakuto left, leaving Niou and Choutarou standing by themselves on the empty court.
Exhaling loudly, still a little out of breath, Niou wiped his face with his jacket and offered it to Choutarou, who took it with a nod. "Thank you, Niou-san."
"You can call me 'Haru, you know," Niou said, starting to walk towards the gate. "Everyone does. Well, everyone who knows me that I don't mind being around for more than ten seconds."
"Um…" Choutarou considered this for a few moments, not sure what to say in response, then smiled and handed Niou back his jacket. "What about Masaharu-san?"
Niou tied his jacket around his waist. "You uncomfortable with 'Haru?" he teased - but there was none of his usual bite with the words at all.
"No, I… I just, well… It seems impolite, is all," Choutarou said uncomfortably. "I was always raised to be formal with everyone. I don't think I've ever called anyone anything minus an honorific."
"What, never?"
"I don't think so, no."
Niou gave him a look of astonishment. Then he suddenly let out a short laugh and clapped Choutarou on the shoulder. "God, you Hyoutei people entertain me," he said, grinning. "I think I'd suffocate in that kind of environment." He shook his head and continued, "There's a first time for everything, right? So try calling me 'Haru for a while, see how it feels. Don't call me Masaharu without an honorific though. My aunt and uncle call me that, and it's just weird."
"… What about 'Haru-san?" Choutarou offered, unwilling to take such a large step.
"Eh… Well, it's a start."
"Then, you can call me Choutarou, if you like."
A softer grin that was almost a proper smile appeared on Niou's face. "I was waiting for you to say that," he said.
They walked on down the pathway, talking idly about the match they'd just played. Niou agreed reluctantly after some insistence from Choutarou that he take the goldfish home for Akaya, and Choutarou in turn reluctantly agreed not to get him to try toffee again.
A man on a bicycle in a huge hurry sped down the path towards them, and they stepped aside for him to pass, and then walked on. Then they turned around in surprise as a large crash sounded, along with the yells of three separate people.
"Watch where you're going!" Akaya yelled, glaring at the unfortunate cyclist. "You could've killed us!"
"You were the one who got in my way!" the man yelled, getting up off the ground with a groan. "You stupid kids… You'd better not have broken my bicycle, or you'll be sorry."
"Excuse me?" Marui drew himself up to his full height (he was only just about the same height as the cyclist). "Are you threatening my boyfriend?"
"MARUI BUNTA, KIRIHARA AKAYA!"
The pair turned around, and identical shifty expressions appeared on their faces.
"Why, 'Haru!" Marui said brightly, waving weakly at him. "Erm. Fancy seeing you here. Is that Ohtori? Wow, that was totally unexpected. We weren't following you or anything, you know. Just in case you were wondering."
Marui and Akaya bolted as an enraged Trickster started after them.
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Mission Report
Forced to abort mission. But can conclude the following:
A) It's safe to annoy Spiky around Not Spiky, because he'll calm him down enough to spare our lives. Probably had a lot of practice with Blue Cap.
B) Still highly doubtful about whether or not this relationship of theirs is going to work. But a lot less doubtful than before.
C) Spiky is seriously falling for Not Spiky. Can't see the attraction of the guy personally, but each to their own.
D) I deserve to be promoted to Special Agent. Or maybe even deserve to get promoted to joint-Field Marshal with Mura.
E) Intelligence needs to help Agent Kirihara with the goldfish, please, because I have no idea how to look after one and Agent Kirihara wants to keep it in the bathtub so that it has lots of room, which isn't exactly inspiring Spiky to let him keep it. That means YOU, Yanagi.
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San: As in 'Niou-san'. Honorific used to show respect.
Kun: As in 'Choutarou-kun'. Honorific generally given to boys your age or younger.
Senpai: Honorific given to someone higher up (either in age or status) than yourself in your workplace/school.
Tensai-san: More or less equates to 'Mr. Genius'. Very sarcastic coming from someone like Niou. :)
Jaa: Pretty informal way of saying 'see you'.
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Sandy: Weeh. Hope that was alright! I officially christen Niou/Ohtori the Myth Pair! Cos, see, you probably know that an Ohtori is a phoenix/mythical bird thingy, right? And a Niou is one of the Gatekeepers of Hell. They can see through all your lies (hence the whole thing with the episode called 'Kikumaru completely read by Niou' - it was a daft pun) and have no mercy. XD Hence, both mythical creatures. Hence Myth pair. Go, go spread the love! xD
Please, please leave a review; due to my exams I can't update often until the end of June (I know I said end of May… there were some scheduling issues and such, all very bureaucratic and I won't bore you with details), so your reviews genuinely do count now towards me updating more often. So please help me out? n.n
If you could quote your favourite bit from this or any other Drabblething in your review, that'd help me out hugely too. But you don't have to, of course :3