Disclaimer: They still belong to DPB and whoever else but me.
This is happening on Xmas 2005 though it is no Christmas story. But as a January born I love the winter season a lot and Christmas is as good a time as any for this to happen.
I take that DPB will go through with his plan to at least move Mac to California.
There is a CHARACTER DEATH in here!
JUST ONE YEAR
Snowflakes were softly falling around her. Her breath was dispersing into the cold air in a misty cloud.
She was back in Washington. For as much as she loved the warm climate of San Diego she needed to be here right now. Needed to be at the place she felt closest to him.
Tomorrow she would visit her godchildren and spent Christmas with the Roberts' family. After that she would see Chloe before returning to her new home in California.
But today was for him only.
This place held so many memories of him, more than any other did. This had been the one place for him to come to especially today. So now she was the one holding up his tradition.
While starring at the shiny black wall she reminisced about the man she had loved deeply, still loved with all her heart.
He hadn't been here last year. He had been with her then. He had told her he would come this year. Now he could not for he was gone. Gone for five months, ten days, fourteen hours and thirty-six minutes already.
She would always remember him as he had made miracles happen in her world she had thought lost. For he had saved her when there had been no one else to save her. For he had stayed even though she had pushed him away. And most of all for in the one night they had been together he had made her four percent chance a hundred percent fact.
She easily recalled this one night when finally everything had been so easy. When finally both of them had been strong enough to take the one step because they had been sure about the response. Had he not proven his love more than once within the prior year? Had he not waited for her? That had been why she had felt it her turn to take the first step. However when she did, he had been right alongside her and they had spoken the words in unison whereas they had fallen silent afterwards only to stare into each other's eyes.
When she had asked him after this first night when she had lain securely in his arms, her head on his shoulder her arm spread over his chest if he felt things to be a little rushed he answered "I won't think nine years to be too fast," with this gorgeous smile of his. Right there and then everything in her life had been picture perfect.
That had been until that day in July a short week later, that one day she would not ever forget.
It started out downright ordinary though.
They went to court like so many times before. On opposing sides, first time since their change in status quo. She wondered whether this would influence whatever they now had.
They gave each other a hard time with more points on her side though. Only every now and then she failed to concentrate on his words and her case but followed the movement of the muscles under his uniform whenever he walked the space in front of the bench. She found herself drawn to his eyes each time he looked her way. And even so he never fully smiled at her she could still see it in his eyes and feel it in her heart. So many things changed that one night. The smile was there only for her to see.
They met for a short lunch. She joked about winning another case against him. He remarked that things were not through yet. He invited her to dinner for the night.
Her time was over as soon as court continued after the break. It was now his time to score the big points. She could do nothing but minor the damage for destroying her case he did.
By the time he started his closing argument she was sure to loose the case. She once again wondered if this would make any difference once they were out of this courtroom and at his place. She watched his every movement, every tiny gesture he made to support his words. He had always been good at this though this day there was no need to be. Even she would declare her client guilty. And still he gave his argument with as much power as he gave every other thing in his life. She had always been fascinated by that.
When he finally turned her way and cast a little smile at her she had stood, smoothened the wrinkles of her blouse and walked to where he had stood only a minute before. She would present her argument with just as much professionalism and passion as he had.
She and her client remained at their table while they waited for the jury to return. They said little. She had told him before what he would face if the jury would decide against him. There was no need to repeat that.
When the bailiff called everybody back in she shared a look with her opposing counsel. Just a short one but she was sure that he was dreading the minutes for this to be over as much as she did.
They stood when the judge entered. She sat down after the judge only to raise mere minutes later for the decision to be read.
Guilty. They found her client guilty in all points.
She turned to her left taking her client's hand that was offered nonetheless. She watched the bailiff reach for the man's arm to lead him away. She gathered the few papers still spread on her table.
That was the moment when things started to happen too fast for anybody to do anything, like they were on fast forward and she could not find the control to stop it. She only got a glimpse on what was there to happen.
Her client had freed himself from the hold of the bailiff and launched himself at Harm. He placed the first punch before the other had any chance to react. An instant later Harm let go of his briefcase and prepared for a fight raising his hands in defence.
The same second she discarded her own bag to step up between the two men. But before either she or the bailiff could take any hold of her raging client the man placed another hit on the Commander.
She saw him fall. Saw his head hit the bench behind him. Saw his still form slipping to the floor.
Immediately she let go of her client and rushed to Harm's side instead. She saw the blood that slowly dropped from his nose where the first punch had landed.
She felt for a pulse.
She found none.
Automatically she brought her ear close to his mouth.
But she heard nothing.
She searched for the right place to massage his heart and started pressing. Someone else began to do the mouth to mouth aiding whenever she reached the five. She heard her voice repeating the numbers over and over again. It sounded like a faraway distance.
Someone must have called 911 for after some time she was brushed aside and a paramedic took over her job.
The moment her mind could no longer concentrate on the counting she focused on the limb form of her friend, her lover.
And as if finally realizing what had happened sobs began shaking her and streams of tears were running down her cheeks.
She felt two arms hold her steady.
She watched the paramedics shock him.
Once.
Twice.
She longed to hold his hand.
Trice.
They stopped.
She wanted them to go on. But they would not.
They declared him dead ten past four.
She watched them laying him on the stretcher covering him up with a white sheet. She heard herself ask if she could go with him. She did not hear their answer. But she felt somebody lead her to the elevators. She climbed the ambulance after him.
Only now was she able to hold his hand. It had already started to get cold. She kept starring at the point where his face lay under the cover, her sight clouded by a million tears.
They walked him to the mortuary. They let her stay neither knowing what to do about her. She would not let go of him.
After a while her tears dried and she silently sat by his side his hand still in hers.
She once again felt a hand on her shoulder. When she looked up she found Bud standing there his eyes red from his own tears over his friend.
She let him take her out of the coolness of the mortuary. She started to shiver. Reluctantly he brought her home for she declined staying with him and his family. Still he made her promise to call whenever she needed anything. She did not call.
At home she collapsed on her bed as new sobs started to build. She cried herself into a fitful slumber.
A single tear now ran down her cheek when she remembered the day.
They had told her later that the fall had broken his neck, that he hadn't suffered much. That it had been bad luck to hit that bench. She had wanted to ask if that should help her any.
She now took the two steps forward to touch the golden letters of his father's name and to say a silent 'thank you' for having lived to a man she had never met but whom she had known from all she had been told, from all she had experienced herself and most of all from everything his son was, both his sons were. For Sergei had been the only one she felt who really helped her through most of the ordeal. She knew that everybody had tried to help her but in the end it had been Sergei who did. She didn't know why but she knew that without him she wouldn't be standing here right now.
She stepped back and turned to leave the one veteran's memorial for the other.
Some time later she was kneeling by a grave on Arlington Cemetery. It lay silent in the cold of the evening. Few people were walking the paths.
She brushed the snow from the stone and place a single red rose down on the grave. It looked like a single droplet of blood shed on the white field of snow, like a droplet right from her heart.
She ran her fingers over his treasured wings that were now engraved above his name. She was sure he now had a perfect pair of other wings.
For another moment she kept starring at these wings before she positioned a small black and white photo, she had pulled from her pocket, up against the stone. A small photo of their child. An ultrasound picture she had had taken last week. Another Rabb child that would grow up without its father. But she swore to herself that she would see to it that their little girl knew every tiny bit of who her father had been.
She stood back up. A year was such a short time, it could be gone in a moment's notice yet could change so much.
She bid her love a last goodbye. Until next year.