The author of this story acknowledges that most of the characters and the
atmosphere of this story is property of JK Rowling.
It was nearing the end of April during the Marauders fifth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and the tension was high with students studying for their OWLs and NEWTs, as well as for the upcoming Spring Ball. Every student from fourth to seventh year was allowed to attend and the pressure was on to find a date.
However, the Marauders did not appear to be suffering from the insecurities of their fellow students. They wasted no time looking for a partner for the dance. After his twelfth rejection from Lily Evans, James Potter had decided to ask Kelsey Smithettes, a fellow fifth-year and Lily's roommate. She had simply swooned and at the chance to go somewhere with the James Potter. Sirius Black was taking a sixth-year girl, Peter Pettigrew had decided not to attend the dance and Remus Lupin was trying to work up the nerve to ask the girl of his dreams to be his date. Adriana Finn.
There was only one problem with the girl Remus had set his heart upon. One big problem. She was hopelessly in love with James, a fellow Marauder and one of his closest friends. Nobody knew this secret of hers except for him, she had told him at the end of their second year, the year when they had first become friends, and she had entrusted him as her confidant since that day. After close to three years of friendship Adriana now considered Remus to be one of her best friends, next to Lily of course, and he spent more time with her than he did with any other person, aside from Sirius, Peter, and James.
Yet, in these years of friendship he had never found it in him to tell her that he loved her, had been in love with her since he first saw her at the Gryffindor house table at the welcoming feast of their first year. He had wanted to tell her, of course, but every time he even got close to telling her she would say something about James and it would shatter him as completely as a broken glass. So, Remus settled for loving her from afar and, being the great person that he was, answered her questions about James and agreed with her wholeheartedly on the fact that he was "just too stupid to see the wonderful girl sitting right in front of him."
But right now, more than ever, he wanted things to change.
He had been sitting alone in a comfy chair in front of the fire of the common room. Most of the other students had gone to bed, but he waited up. Adriana had asked him too that night at dinner.
"Oi! Lupin," she had caught up with him just as he was about to leave the dining room. "Meet me later?" At his nod she had set the time, 1:00.
And so he was there. Waiting for her. She had seemed cheery enough when she had asked him to come, but he knew the reason for there meeting. She wanted to talk to him about James.
So he sat there at waited. A text book lay open on his lap, but he did not look at it. He was too involved in his own teenage melodramas. 12:00 rolled around, and in what seemed like the passing of mere moments 1:00 came. He checked his watch at the same time she came down the stairs, not even a minute after one.
Adriana's hair was orange tonight, her eyes a vibrant blue- grey. That wasn't what she was supposed to look like, but she was a Metamorphmagus, able to change her appearance at the slightest whim. She smiled slightly at him as she approached; scanning the room to be sure that no one else was in it.
"Hey Lupin. Some last minute studying?" She said teasingly as she gestured to the book on his lap as she took the seat on the couch across from him.
He shrugged, "Just waiting for you." Remus closed his text book and placed by his feet. A frown tugged his brow as he searched her face. He hated it when she changed her appearance. "I don't like it."
Adriana didn't have to ask what he was talking about, this was a regular occurrence. With a slight chuckle, she scrunched up her face with a look of great concentration and her face instantly changed. Her lips got less full, her eyes became wider and changed to a deep chocolate brown that matched her hair which shortened itself to shoulder length and became curled loosely. This was Adriana and she was gorgeous. "Better?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Much."
She began the tradition, "You know ... you're the only-"
"Person who cares that you won't be you.' He finished for her. They discussed this every time they were together, and she would always change back to herself to avoid further argument. But after they separated, she would always change something. And even though it seemed to escape everyone else's notice, he knew that she always made herself look more like Lily whenever she was around James.
He didn't want to think about that anymore so he cleared his throat, "You wanted to talk?"
The mischievous look that usually covered her face and that he loved was wiped off in an instant, to be replaced by the broken-hearted look which he had grown to know so well. "He's taking Kelsey, isn't he?"
Remus's heart broke a little and he nodded.
They sat in silence for a minute. She looked as if she was close to tears so he got up and moved so that he sat next to her on the couch. "Come on Ri, it's not the end of the world."
"How would you know?" Adriana whispered sulkily as she rested her head on his shoulder. "You don't know what it's like to love someone so much it hurts, and they not even know." Remus put his arm around her and shut his eyes, a self-deprecating smile crossing his face. He knew all too well.
"Now what am I going to do? I can't go now ..."
"Why not?" Remus pulled her face off his shoulder so he could look at her better.
"I can't go if I don't have a date," she said patronizingly, as if speaking to a small child.
"You could go with me." Those five words spoken in a whisper shocked him just as much as they did her, if not more. He had finally said it after waiting five years. He couldn't breathe.
And the expression on her face almost killed him. The shock had not yet died from her eyes and she stared without saying a word. She looked as if the thought had never crossed her mind, and it hurt. Oh, how it hurt.
Remus quickly looked a way, to hide the pain from her, but she seemed to realize she had insulted him and spoke in a rush. "But Circe ... I thought you were going with her?" He just shrugged, afraid to speak as he did not trust his own voice. "Lupin ... we couldn't go together? It'd be weird."
"Yeah." His voice sounded funny, even to his own ears and he coughed to clear his throat. He forced a laugh that he knew sounded fake, "It was stupid of me to ask. I just thought ..." he stopped talking as he looked down into her face. He couldn't finish his sentence and looked away again. Silence reigned for an hour-long minute.
"Thought what?" Adriana prompted, obviously confused.
"I was just being stupid, Ri," he took a deep breath. "But you're right, it would be weird." He took his arm from around her and she stared at the floor, leaning her head on her hands.
"Maybe it wouldn't," the words barely a murmur, but they stopped his heart as effectively as a gun shot. He raised an eyebrow, but did not say anything, waiting for her to continue. "I mean, we hang out together all the time, it would just be like that. Right?" She shifted her head slightly so she could see him.
"Right."
"Sounds good," Ri smiled at him and he felt himself smile in return. But then, as if struck by lightning, the smile fell from her face. "What about Circe?"
He shifted uncomfortably, "I never was going with her."
"But she asked you, didn't she? She said she was going to." Circe was Adriana and Lily's roommate.
"Yeah, she asked me." He didn't look her in the eye, not sure why he was so afraid of telling her this.
"You said no?" At his nod, she pressed on. "Why?"
He debated how much he wanted to tell her. He had said no, because he had still been trying to work up the nerve to ask Ri, but he couldn't tell her that, not after her reaction to him asking her in the first place. But he could think of nothing else to say. He knew Circe liked him, and had felt like a total cad saying no. The truth was he hadn't wanted to go to the dance with anyone but Adriana. "Didn't want to go with her," Remus mumbled.
This time it was she who raised an eyebrow, but she sensed that he didn't want to talk on the subject anymore and didn't ask anymore questions. Another silence followed this one not as uncomfortable as the last and Remus settled himself back on the seat. Adriana followed suit and leaned back next to him.
He watched her out of the corner of his eye and saw her scowl. His euphoria of going to the dance with Ri died and he readied himself for the painful conversation that he knew was about to follow.
"Kelsey Smithettes?" Her tone held disbelief. "She's such a flake!" Remus didn't say anything, it would be best to just let her rant, as he had discovered from experience. "Now, I can see why he makes a fool of himself over Lily, she's perfect, but to lower his standards to Kelsey? How can he be so stupid?!"
Now she expected him to answer, and he steeled his voice against the pain. "He couldn't think of anyone else, and she was the closest to him when Lily shot him down." Remus spoke the truth.
"Too stupid to think of me, isn't he then." She scoffed, "I should just get over him then, shouldn't I? I mean, honestly Lupin, if he's too stupid to see what's right in front of him then he doesn't deserve my adoration."
"No. He doesn't." Remus answered quietly.
And if she was too stupid to see what was right in front of her then she didn't deserve his adoration.
Together, they sat there for another hour or so, Adriana ranting to him as he kept his silence, tears staining his insides as he was once again struck with the knowledge that she loved his best friend, and to her, he was just a shoulder to cry on.
It was nearing the end of April during the Marauders fifth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and the tension was high with students studying for their OWLs and NEWTs, as well as for the upcoming Spring Ball. Every student from fourth to seventh year was allowed to attend and the pressure was on to find a date.
However, the Marauders did not appear to be suffering from the insecurities of their fellow students. They wasted no time looking for a partner for the dance. After his twelfth rejection from Lily Evans, James Potter had decided to ask Kelsey Smithettes, a fellow fifth-year and Lily's roommate. She had simply swooned and at the chance to go somewhere with the James Potter. Sirius Black was taking a sixth-year girl, Peter Pettigrew had decided not to attend the dance and Remus Lupin was trying to work up the nerve to ask the girl of his dreams to be his date. Adriana Finn.
There was only one problem with the girl Remus had set his heart upon. One big problem. She was hopelessly in love with James, a fellow Marauder and one of his closest friends. Nobody knew this secret of hers except for him, she had told him at the end of their second year, the year when they had first become friends, and she had entrusted him as her confidant since that day. After close to three years of friendship Adriana now considered Remus to be one of her best friends, next to Lily of course, and he spent more time with her than he did with any other person, aside from Sirius, Peter, and James.
Yet, in these years of friendship he had never found it in him to tell her that he loved her, had been in love with her since he first saw her at the Gryffindor house table at the welcoming feast of their first year. He had wanted to tell her, of course, but every time he even got close to telling her she would say something about James and it would shatter him as completely as a broken glass. So, Remus settled for loving her from afar and, being the great person that he was, answered her questions about James and agreed with her wholeheartedly on the fact that he was "just too stupid to see the wonderful girl sitting right in front of him."
But right now, more than ever, he wanted things to change.
He had been sitting alone in a comfy chair in front of the fire of the common room. Most of the other students had gone to bed, but he waited up. Adriana had asked him too that night at dinner.
"Oi! Lupin," she had caught up with him just as he was about to leave the dining room. "Meet me later?" At his nod she had set the time, 1:00.
And so he was there. Waiting for her. She had seemed cheery enough when she had asked him to come, but he knew the reason for there meeting. She wanted to talk to him about James.
So he sat there at waited. A text book lay open on his lap, but he did not look at it. He was too involved in his own teenage melodramas. 12:00 rolled around, and in what seemed like the passing of mere moments 1:00 came. He checked his watch at the same time she came down the stairs, not even a minute after one.
Adriana's hair was orange tonight, her eyes a vibrant blue- grey. That wasn't what she was supposed to look like, but she was a Metamorphmagus, able to change her appearance at the slightest whim. She smiled slightly at him as she approached; scanning the room to be sure that no one else was in it.
"Hey Lupin. Some last minute studying?" She said teasingly as she gestured to the book on his lap as she took the seat on the couch across from him.
He shrugged, "Just waiting for you." Remus closed his text book and placed by his feet. A frown tugged his brow as he searched her face. He hated it when she changed her appearance. "I don't like it."
Adriana didn't have to ask what he was talking about, this was a regular occurrence. With a slight chuckle, she scrunched up her face with a look of great concentration and her face instantly changed. Her lips got less full, her eyes became wider and changed to a deep chocolate brown that matched her hair which shortened itself to shoulder length and became curled loosely. This was Adriana and she was gorgeous. "Better?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Much."
She began the tradition, "You know ... you're the only-"
"Person who cares that you won't be you.' He finished for her. They discussed this every time they were together, and she would always change back to herself to avoid further argument. But after they separated, she would always change something. And even though it seemed to escape everyone else's notice, he knew that she always made herself look more like Lily whenever she was around James.
He didn't want to think about that anymore so he cleared his throat, "You wanted to talk?"
The mischievous look that usually covered her face and that he loved was wiped off in an instant, to be replaced by the broken-hearted look which he had grown to know so well. "He's taking Kelsey, isn't he?"
Remus's heart broke a little and he nodded.
They sat in silence for a minute. She looked as if she was close to tears so he got up and moved so that he sat next to her on the couch. "Come on Ri, it's not the end of the world."
"How would you know?" Adriana whispered sulkily as she rested her head on his shoulder. "You don't know what it's like to love someone so much it hurts, and they not even know." Remus put his arm around her and shut his eyes, a self-deprecating smile crossing his face. He knew all too well.
"Now what am I going to do? I can't go now ..."
"Why not?" Remus pulled her face off his shoulder so he could look at her better.
"I can't go if I don't have a date," she said patronizingly, as if speaking to a small child.
"You could go with me." Those five words spoken in a whisper shocked him just as much as they did her, if not more. He had finally said it after waiting five years. He couldn't breathe.
And the expression on her face almost killed him. The shock had not yet died from her eyes and she stared without saying a word. She looked as if the thought had never crossed her mind, and it hurt. Oh, how it hurt.
Remus quickly looked a way, to hide the pain from her, but she seemed to realize she had insulted him and spoke in a rush. "But Circe ... I thought you were going with her?" He just shrugged, afraid to speak as he did not trust his own voice. "Lupin ... we couldn't go together? It'd be weird."
"Yeah." His voice sounded funny, even to his own ears and he coughed to clear his throat. He forced a laugh that he knew sounded fake, "It was stupid of me to ask. I just thought ..." he stopped talking as he looked down into her face. He couldn't finish his sentence and looked away again. Silence reigned for an hour-long minute.
"Thought what?" Adriana prompted, obviously confused.
"I was just being stupid, Ri," he took a deep breath. "But you're right, it would be weird." He took his arm from around her and she stared at the floor, leaning her head on her hands.
"Maybe it wouldn't," the words barely a murmur, but they stopped his heart as effectively as a gun shot. He raised an eyebrow, but did not say anything, waiting for her to continue. "I mean, we hang out together all the time, it would just be like that. Right?" She shifted her head slightly so she could see him.
"Right."
"Sounds good," Ri smiled at him and he felt himself smile in return. But then, as if struck by lightning, the smile fell from her face. "What about Circe?"
He shifted uncomfortably, "I never was going with her."
"But she asked you, didn't she? She said she was going to." Circe was Adriana and Lily's roommate.
"Yeah, she asked me." He didn't look her in the eye, not sure why he was so afraid of telling her this.
"You said no?" At his nod, she pressed on. "Why?"
He debated how much he wanted to tell her. He had said no, because he had still been trying to work up the nerve to ask Ri, but he couldn't tell her that, not after her reaction to him asking her in the first place. But he could think of nothing else to say. He knew Circe liked him, and had felt like a total cad saying no. The truth was he hadn't wanted to go to the dance with anyone but Adriana. "Didn't want to go with her," Remus mumbled.
This time it was she who raised an eyebrow, but she sensed that he didn't want to talk on the subject anymore and didn't ask anymore questions. Another silence followed this one not as uncomfortable as the last and Remus settled himself back on the seat. Adriana followed suit and leaned back next to him.
He watched her out of the corner of his eye and saw her scowl. His euphoria of going to the dance with Ri died and he readied himself for the painful conversation that he knew was about to follow.
"Kelsey Smithettes?" Her tone held disbelief. "She's such a flake!" Remus didn't say anything, it would be best to just let her rant, as he had discovered from experience. "Now, I can see why he makes a fool of himself over Lily, she's perfect, but to lower his standards to Kelsey? How can he be so stupid?!"
Now she expected him to answer, and he steeled his voice against the pain. "He couldn't think of anyone else, and she was the closest to him when Lily shot him down." Remus spoke the truth.
"Too stupid to think of me, isn't he then." She scoffed, "I should just get over him then, shouldn't I? I mean, honestly Lupin, if he's too stupid to see what's right in front of him then he doesn't deserve my adoration."
"No. He doesn't." Remus answered quietly.
And if she was too stupid to see what was right in front of her then she didn't deserve his adoration.
Together, they sat there for another hour or so, Adriana ranting to him as he kept his silence, tears staining his insides as he was once again struck with the knowledge that she loved his best friend, and to her, he was just a shoulder to cry on.