Chapter 1: resources
Today was like any other day, except not really because today was the day that the day was not like any other day, shit was about to go down.
It was laundry day. And the reploid was damn low on quarters.
It's robbery time bitches.
X pulled up to the taco bell in a mercedes benz, a gun in one hand, and a gun was his other hand.
' I cant believe it. I could've robbed anything. But if I'm gonna rob anywhere, I guess this is the easiest place to do it.' He thought, preparing himself for what he was about to do. Living in DA HOOD, not a lot of people come to taco bell at 8 fucking AM. So there shouldnt be any casualties. And besides, whos gonna fight a guy with GUN HANDS.
X stepped outta his super baller mercedes and ran into the taco baco. "Hello welcome to tacoH HOLY FUCK X WHAT THE FUCK." It was that shady bitch Cutman. "Cutman what the fuCK." X said, ready to shoot that scissor-headed piece of shit in his dumb cutman face (A/N: cutman fucking sucks) And at that very moment. "PUT YOUR HANDS UP THIS IS A RO- X WHAT THE FUCK." It was Zero. He was robbing the same fuCKING TACO BELL.
"Zero what the fuck" X asked lowering one (1) gun, keeping the other pointed at cutmang. "Wait why are YOU robbing this taco bell?" "It's laundry day man, my non-existent laundry needs laundering. Hey do we even remove our armor? Isn't that like our exoskeleton? Dude what the FUCK. WE'RE FUCKING ROBOTS." "... just dont think about it. Shhh" X trailed off. "OKAY SO BACK TO THIS SHIT" At this point, Cutmang had already hung up his uniform and was just about to leave. Unfortunately for him, that piece of shit no good pile of scrap metal opened the fucking fire alarm door. "HE'S TRYING TO LEAVE." Zero exclaimed, pointing at the dumb orange fucker. "JUST GRAB THE WHOLE CASH REGISTER AND THE ROBOT AND GET INTO THE CAR." X yelled back, making a mad dash for the scissor-fucker. "Ahee..ahe..heee.." Said cutshit nervously, "now fellas, th-th-there's no need to be brash!" " Shut the fuck up tinboy." x said, picking him up with one arm (the gun arm) "DUDE I CANT PICK IT UP IT'S NAILED TO THE COUNTER." Zero said in a panic. Before he could even finish saying counter, X used his gun arm, cutman still under it, to blast a hole in the counter freeing the cash register."
"DUDE YOU ALMOST SHOT ME." Zero said. "YOU'RE FINE JUST GRAB THE REGISTER AND LET'S GO. PRICES FOR THE NICE DETERGENT GO UP AT 9." came the other reploid."C-could you please put me down..?" "NO!" Came the reply from the two frantic robbers.X threw cutmang through the car window at the force of 300000 jet engines, cutman (nearly) exploding on contact (but not really). Following the sound of distant police sirens,zero jumped into the passanger side and threw the register onto cutfucks (nearly) lifeless corpse. "SHIT X WE NEED TO GO NOW" Zero yelled, slamming the car door shut,"I KNOW BITCH" X zaid, slamming onto the gas (A/N: did u kno that was a fetish? I didn't need to :C )and plowed straight through the taco bell drive through since it was easier than trying to exit the parking lot in a timely manner.
"Ok, heres the plan. We're going to drive away like nothing happened. And we are going to pull up behind the walmart. And then we're going to take the body out of the car.." X said, keeping his cool behind the wheel. Whatta babe. "And we're gonna leave him there?" Zero said naively. "NO YOU FUCK WE'RE GOING TO SHAKE HIM DOWN FOR HIS MONEY." X said back. "Oh.. yeah that makes more sense!" damn, zero was..kinda cute today? What the fuck? 'Shit… I read that life-endangerment made you feel things for people. But IM NOT A GAY?' X thought, gazing over at Zero, his long flowing anime hair glistening in the morning sunlight. Or maybe its because his windows were dirty. "X FUCK KEEP YOUR GODDAMN EYES ON THE FUCKING ROAD" Zero yelled, grasping onto the seat for dear artificial life. Somehow during X's gay thoughts, he managed to FUCKING MERGE INTO ONCOMING TRAFFIC.
X quickly snapped out of his gay daydreams, the headlights of a huge semi-truck reflecting off his eyes " OH FUCKIN GH SHIT' He yelled turning the steering wheel in a panic and crossing multiple roads and sidewalks hitting a few bystanders on the way through. " OH DEAR GOD X" Zero screamed, being thrown around the car as they hit "speedbump" after "speedbump". (hint: they were not speedbumps) "X WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR DAMAGE?" Zero yelled, still trying to catch his breath, and his emotions. He's basically scarred for life now. "YOU HIT QUICKMAN." " Well, I guess he just wasn't fast enough." X said, turning on his windshield wipers as if didn't just commit vehicular proto-manslaughter. (badum tss) "X. HOLY FUCK." was the only thing the poor reploid could say. Needless to say, the rest of the drive to walmart was silent, except for the one "ahee…." coming from the backseat. This was quickly fixed with a smack to the head with a cash register after a sharp left turn.