Stay
Pairing: Callie & Arizona
Rating: T
Summary: One-Shot – What comes next? The judge made her decision, no one won. Everyone lost just in varying degrees. But… can Callie and Arizona work together for their daughter?
Disclaimer: I lay no claim to any of these characters… we all know who they belong to. If only their fates really were in our beautiful minds…
XxxxxxxX
"Stay."
"What?"
"Stay."
The two women sat on this bench that had seen so many different versions of, them. Staring out at the world around them, it offered a serenity. Somehow after the storm that was their lives recently, sitting here encircled by the calm breeze flowing through the vibrant trees was an oddity to life.
Take reference. A storm comes, leaves and branches are strewn around. Lawn furniture is overturned. Unstable roof shingles become untacked. Power lines fall. Homes suffer outages. The wait time at your insurance company has claimants waiting hours to get beyond the hold music.
A storm comes. And life is turned upside down. The vengeance leaves a very visible impact of the taken path left in its wake.
A storm has just barreled through their lives. But here they sat surrounded by the rare bright and sunny day offered by Seattle.
Lawyers had advised and battled. Friends had spoken opinion and offered advice. The judge had banged her gavel, solidifying her ruling. Against all odds Arizona had been given sole physical custody of their daughter, Sofia Robbin Sloan Torres, changing their lives forever. From that moment forward their lives would never be the same.
…..
A few days had passed when Callie nervously stepped into the bathroom that she'd seen Arizona enter minutes earlier.
"Maternal-fetal medicine, right?"
Callie stood just inside the door, hands nervously fidgeting inside the pockets of her lab coat. The ortho surgeon made a valiant attempt to house some semblance of confidence as she held the gaze of cerulean through the mirror.
Arizona had just stepped up to the sink to wash her hands when she heard the door creak. But the sign of a new comer, didn't phase the woman. Similar to how she'd gone through the last few days, she just wasn't all present.
After the judges ruling, Arizona had taken a few days off. The first day she and Sofia had gone to the local fair that was in town. The past few days had been filled with tension and turmoil… She needed some happy, some sunshine, and just the pure laughter of her little girl.
It wasn't a celebration so to speak… It was a momentary breath of fresh air from the drowning in the big ocean that seemed to have taken her hostage lately.
The next day the weekend was over, and Sofia had school. The battling mom's had yet to talk to their little girl about recent events, so life continued to move on 'normally'.
While Sofia was off to school, that left Arizona home to her own thoughts and vices. Sitting on her back veranda, rain poured down steadily. The world around her mirrored the brewing storm within, as she sat with the slow cylinder of death between a set of corral lips.
Exhaling slowly the puff that had just burned through her lungs, Arizona didn't even bother to wipe at the slow trickle that poured down pale cheeks. The onslaught started out slowly, growing exponentially until the sobs had caused all of her insides to pour over the side railing onto the earth below.
The judge had ruled in her favor, but… She didn't win. No. There were no winners that day, only varying degrees of loss had been handed out. Relationships would forever be altered after that life changing three days. Relationships with co-workers, her relationship with her daughter, and her relationship with her ex-wife would never be the same. So, she sat on the back porch in a state of mourning for the loss.
When the judge spoke, Arizona had to fight to remain present in the moment. She was so sure that she'd lost. Sitting at that table all she could think of was how she would have to send her little girl to a completely different time zone.
But as the words left the ruler's mouth, blue eyes had looked over just in time to see all of the loss that had just dispelled from her ex across the way. A woman that she always admired for her strength and confidence, had suddenly crumbled right before her eyes.
Dark eyes were fixated straight ahead as if reading the words that ticked from the judges mouth. Hands of support felt like weights as the brunette attempted to understand what had just been said.
Varying degrees of sobriety was housed in the remaining attendees. Callie looked to her right for just a moment. Across the invisible battle line that ran down the middle of that courtroom was her ex-wife still seated. There was no celebration being made. The two women locked gazes for a split second, attempting to dodge the eye of the other.
In that split second there was a silent apology that drifted through the atmosphere. Remorse. The only feeling settling in at the moment. Followed by an urgent disbelief. There was a mutual disbelief for how their epic love had managed to reach this… place.
Days passed, both women were a shell of their former selves, becoming actors in a stage play. The watchful eyes of their fellow villagers, allowed both to perform as if their life were a stage and they were mere actors. No one, knew what to offer beyond support and sympathy. These were uncharted waters.
"Hey…"
"Hey…"
Looking up in the mirror, Arizona's attention was piqued when she heard the unsure husk of her former lover.
"Maternal-fetal medicine, right?"
The blonde's head tilted ever so slightly as she considered the familiar phrase. The two women hadn't talked since their interrupted conversation outside the courthouse, just before the ruling. A text had been sent offering no changes to their previous agreement until they could sit and talk face to face.
But since then… The two women almost seemed to avoid each other like one housed the plague.
Wringing the water from her hands, Arizona found herself in a state of uncertainty. Considering her ex, blue eyes found the ortho surgeon fidgeting with her hands seemingly nervous before placing them in her lab coat pockets.
Clearing her throat, Callie stepped forward. "Can we talk?" Dark eyes looked up in pleading. "I think we should sit and talk. Without lawyers or anyone else, please?"
"Okay." Arizona simply agreed. It was absolutely time they sat and talked.
"Uhm… alright. Okay." Callie was a little surprised at the eased acceptance.
"There's a movie in the park that Sof, Zola and I are going to tonight… she wanted us to go together. I was trying to find a way to ask you… But I haven't seen you, and we've been avoiding each other… And I totally thought this would be awkward. But now you're here." Arizona realized her ramble was becoming a little lengthy. Meeting the stunned look of her ex, she felt the need to explain. "Sofia knows something happened…" This thought alerted the other mother. " And I think she needs to spend some time with us, together."
"Then you haven't talked to her yet?"
"No. We agreed to do that together. I wouldn't leave you out of that, Callie." Arizona had a little edge to her voice, bothered by the implication. "Sorry." At the sight of slackened shoulders, Arizona was remorseful for the bite in her reply.
"No, no, you're right. I shouldn't have implied. We agreed to talk to her together."
"So tonight, the movie? And we can talk after? The girls are having a sleepover at Mer's."
"Are you sure? I mean… I know Sof wants me to go, but I understand if you don't really want me there. I'll talk to her and take the blame-"
"Just come to the movie Callie. This isn't about you or I, it's about our daughter. She wants both of her moms to sit in the park and watch a movie together. Bring Blake if you want." Arizona waved her hand through the air. She was starting to get annoyed with the situation. "Just… just come to the damn movie."
"Okay."
…..
That night Arizona showed up to the movie in the park with Sofia and Zola in tow. The three sat in the lawn chairs, covered with their blankets sharing their assorted snacks.
Not long after they arrived a familiar face came into view. Callie was stood a little way away searching for her party.
Searching through the many faces in the crowd, Callie landed on three familiar faces waving her over. She was a little reluctant at first to accept invitation. But if it would make her daughter happy she would brave the running of the Bulls. So here she was, lawn chair in hand making her way toward the young smiling faces.
"Momma!" Sofia was excited to see the woman making the trek towards them. "Over here momma, we're over here!" She called out.
"Hey ladybug." Callie picked up her little girl, hugging her tightly into herself. Trying not to worry her little girl, the brunette pulled back before the embrace could become overwhelming. "So, what's cookin' good lookin'?"
Sofia smiled as her mother placed her back down into her seat. "We're watching Home. And mommy let us have ice cream. But we can't have too many snacks because Auntie Amy will not be happy if she has to clean up puke." The little girl repeated her blonde mother's words from earlier."
"Mommy's right." Callie set up her chair on the opposite end of the girls. Far enough from her ex to hopefully avoid any awkwardness that might stem from their interaction. "Hi Zola! I hear you girls are having a big sleepover tonight?"
"Mhm. And Auntie Maggie said if we don't wake up too early she will take us to get our nails painted tomorrow." The girls were so excited for their pending outing.
"Oh that's so exciting!"
Arizona sat back smiling at the interaction playing out. At first she looked around in anticipation for the red head resident that she knew would be accompanying her girlfriend. But when the movie started and there was still no mention of her, Arizona was surprised at Penny's absence.
The girls sat passing snacks back and forth, completely engulfed in the movie on display. By the end of the movie the Sofia and Zola moved sluggishly to Callie's car. The two women decided Callie would drop the girls to Meredith's. The girls were destined to fall asleep during the quick drive and Callie would be able to easily carry them to the door.
After delivering the girls safely and setting up the time she would be back to pick up Sofia to start her week with her daughter, Callie was on her way to meet her ex-wife.
When the brunette arrived to Arizona's the door was already left unlocked for her entry. The two women considered meeting at a neutral location. But at the end of the movie when Arizona stood, Callie noticed the silent growl of pain in the shorter woman. She figured Arizona must've been going all day with her prosthetic on. So she offered to meet on the other woman's turf. And just a little bit, Callie hoped this offering would buy her some grace in her ex-wife's eyes.
"I'm in here." Arizona called from the kitchen. "I stopped by Debbie's and picked up food. Hope you're hungry."
Callie stepped into the kitchen regarding her daughter's other mother. She was already changed into a comfortable looking hoodie and yoga pants, standing behind the counter on her crutches confirming the pain she'd seen emanating in the blonde's features at the park.
"Blueberry pancakes-"
"With bananas, yes." Arizona completed and answered the question. "This conversation isn't going to be easy. Figured comfort food was a must have."
Late night breakfast from Deb's Diner was always their go to when they would come home from an exceptionally difficult case, or anything especially testy that wouldn't allow for the easy consumption of alcohol.
"There's apple cobbler and ice cream too, if we're haven't strangled each other by dessert." Arizona attempted to lighten the tension in the room. Motioning for the other woman to take a seat across the table, Arizona pulled out her own seat taking a much needed rest from standing.
"I'm sorry." Callie blurted as she took up the offered seat. Blue eyes jumped up in her direction. "Arizona, I am so sorry. I need to say that, and I really hope you can hear and accept my apology. The things that were said and insinuated in cou-"
Callie's words were halted at the raising of Arizona's hands that called for a pause in sharing. "I know. You were scared, and though I wouldn't have done it… I do understand how you got there. As much crap as I put you through, I guess I was a little over due. I don't want to focus on us Callie. We need to focus on Sofia, and what she needs. We have to work together as Sofia's parents and give her the happiest, most filling life we possibly can."
"Well you won. So it's your choice."
"I didn't win." Arizona quickly snapped. "Really, Callie? Nobody won in that courtroom. We all lost, everyone of us. And if we can't sit here like two people that once upon a time actually loved each other, we're going to continue to lose more and more."
"You're right. I'm sorry."
"Stop apologizing, just… just… I would like to keep Sofia on the same schedule that she's been on. At least until you leave. And we need to be nicer to each other. Sofia knows that something is up… and, she doesn't like it."
"She had a really great timer tonight though, didn't she?"
"Yeah, she really did."
"Thank you for inviting me, giving me the opportunity to experience that tonight. You're right, she senses that something is going on. Tonight was the happiest I've seen her in weeks." Callie reminisced on their outing. "Maybe we should- -maybe we could do that? Go out and spend time as a family sometimes. For Sofia?"
….
That was all a little over a month ago. And now here they sat on the bench. Their bench so to speak. It could still be there bench even though they were divorced. It's not like either ever felt comfortable to share this spot with anyone else. No… Just like how they now slept on the opposite side of their beds.
"Callie."
"Hmm?"
"I know the trial hurt you, and I am so sorry for that. But do you get why I did it?" This was bothering Arizona lately. She never wanted Callie to be mad at her… ever again if she could help it. And this custody battle had caused the biggest rift since her infidelity in their marriage.
For so long she walked on egg shells with her words and her actions not wanting to hurt the brunette again. The pain that radiated off her wife that night of the storm haunted Arizona in her dreams.
When Callie sat in the therapist's office and said she didn't want to try to fix them anymore, followed by her request for divorce… Arizona just took it. It was her punishment for the unbearable pain she'd caused to the woman she had vowed to love and protect most in the world.
And a little bit Callie knew that was the case. Arizona carried the guilt of that night around with her nearly every day, going along with any decisions Callie would make in her form of retribution.
Arizona didn't want to be divorced… For a long while there was still the longing looks until recently she had to force herself into rehab to get over her drug of choice. Callie.
That's why she forced herself to go out to that bar so often. That was her outpatient rehab. She worked hard to get over her former lover. Or maybe she was just fooling herself. Because truthfully when she found out that Callie planned to move across the country an unexplainable pain ached right in her heart.
Coupled with the possibility of losing her daughter as well? The thought was unbearable.
"Because you're a good mother." Callie spoke up turning her body to face her ex. "You're a good mother Arizona, I know that. I swear I never understood how you ever thought motherhood wasn't for you. From that very first ultrasound Arizona, you just mastered it. I—I went about this whole thing the wrong way. And in the process I hurt you… I did something so indefensible to you Arizona."
"You slut shamed me Callie, and- -and, you let th- -that lady make it seem like I was nothing to Sofia."
Arizona paused in her speech.
"This is my baby!"
"You're not being rational." Arizona attempted her plea to an infuriated Mark.
"Oh, you never wanted this. You never asked for it. Why the hell are you giving us some opinion on what you- -"
Now he had exhausted the peds surgeons patience. "No, no, no! You know what I didn't ask for? I didn't ask for you, Mark. Because you know what you are? You're basically a sperm donor." She was hurt, and she was scared, and she found herself in a position she never ever wanted. Arguing with the man whose baby was growing inside her girlfriend. Her girlfriend. "I mean, this is me and this is Callie, and we're together, so I say- -"
"No! You don't get a say. This is my family. I'm the father. I'm the father. You're not anything. You're nothing."
Those words stung just as much then as the insinuation of that same argument that was professed in court.
"I'm her mother too Callie. No matter what, whenever someone looks at you and they look at Sofia they automatically know that Sofia belongs to you. No one ever just assumes that she's my daughter. No one."
Callie could hear the hurt and the damage in Arizona's voice.
Exhaling tense breath, Arizona paused a moment to consider her next thought. "Stay."
"What?"
"Stay." Arizona was suddenly nervous. "Things have been good, right?" Callie offered a nod in agreement. "We have actually been talking, and listening to each other."
"That little party trick only took us seven years."
"Ha! Yeah… For two world class surgeons, we kind of suck at the easy stuff don't we?" Both women were able to laugh at that for a moment, not missing how unfortunately true that was. "Callie?"
"Hmm?"
"Sofia needs both of her moms Cal. She needs both of us." Both women sat silently, weighing the option of the plea. "If you really feel like moving to New York is something that you just absolutely have to do, then I'll support you and we'll figure this out together. But… But if, if you staying is still an option…" Her words strayed with the wind.
"Do you want me to stay?"
"Yes." That single word escaped with so much weight before Arizona could hold it back.
And Callie knew. That yes wasn't just for Sofia. "Okay."
….
I hope you liked it… Feel free to let me know with a review.
xoxo