Had this on my phone for a while... thought I'd post it. Let me know what you think!
Disclaimer: TMI and it's characters belong to Cassie Clare
1 hit.
Dread. Anxiety. Fear? No. He was a shadowhunter. He wasn't afraid.
1 more hit.
He was not afraid. He was not afraid. He was not afraid.
2 hits.
He was terrified. He was beyond afraid. His nerves hurt just thinking about it. His stomach rolled and he felt sick.
2 hits again.
Deep breaths. Get it together.
3 hits. Duck. 2 hits.
He had never felt anything like this. Not even with Jace. With Jace, he felt safe. With Jace, he knew it would never become anything. With Jace, he could go on pretending he was okay. There would never be a "with Jace" and that was okay.
2 hits. 5 hits.
But this… This was different. Just thinking about it had him shaking. Those eyes. That grin. That voice. It invaded him and shook him to the core. "With Magnus" …
10 his. 3 hits.
The way he walked, the way he would float around the room, so confident. So sure of himself. Alec felt jealousy run through his veins. He was raised to be the best. But he knew he wasn't. His parents knew it. Izzy knew it. Jace knew it. But Magnus Bane didn't.
5 hits. 4 hits. Duck. 5 hits.
Magnus Bane. Magnus Bane. Magnus Bane.
5 hits. 5 hits.
Alec had always felt small. He had always felt dead. He built up walls, hiding behind a scowl and sarcastic words. He felt safe there. He could do his duty to his family.
4 hits. 1 hit.
But Magnus… he made Alec feel out of control. He also made Alec feel secure. And special. Just one look from him and Alec felt that just for a moment, he was okay. Then the fear would sneak up on him. Did someone see?
6 hits. 3 hits.
He knew what was happening. He wasn't stupid. Maybe he was, for hoping. In another life, Alec would have smiled back. In another life, Alec would have met him for drinks. In another life…
1 hit.
In another life, Alec would let himself fall in love with him.
No hits. Nothing.
Nothing.
Then the fear creeps up on him.
5 hits. 3 hits.
10 hits. 10 hits.
His nerves felt like fire. His heart was pounding. He's drowning. He can't breathe. Keep it together.
10 hits.
And he looked up.
One look from Magnus. One smile from Magnus. His eyes flicker. He's glowing.
And the fear disappears.
And Alec smiles back.
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