Ginny watched her husband with soft eyes, noting how his chest rose and fell with his deep breaths, telling her that he was sound asleep. Her heart was pained as she looked upon his sleeping form, for in that moment he was a young boy once again. His face was so innocent, for once free of all signs of how hard his life had been. At that, Ginny's thoughts turned darker. It had only been recently, indeed, only since she had been living with him, that she had learned all of the painful details of Harry's life. Even now, lying in bed next to him, she could see the long, faded scars that marred the man's back, clear proof of just how mean Harry's uncle had been. Ginny had decided that it was a good thing she would probably never meet That Man, because if she ever did meet That Man, she would most definitely curse him terribly. Imagine, keeping a young boy in a Cupboard Under the Stairs! She had discovered that fact when she had come across Harry's Hogwarts acceptance letter. She remembered how her stomach had twisted when she had read the address on the envelope. Harry had simply laughed, telling her about the ordeal of just obtaining that letter. He explained that he didn't actually live on the Floor Of a Shack on a Rock, and that that was where he had been when Hagrid had finally caught up with the Dursleys, and how the first letter had been addressed to His Cupboard. And if that hadn't been bad enough, she had discovered the much more subtle, hidden scars on his thighs and the few on his wrists. Those had been explained by a much more guilty and ashamed Harry. Those had been punishment, he told her, first for Cedric's death, then Sirius's. He had been so ashamed, letting little derogatory remarks and insults about himself slip into his speech. Ginny had just wanted to reach out to him, to soothe him and make it better, but she hadn't known how. But even that didn't compare to the worst discovery of all, after the first time she had told him that she loved him. He had been so startled by that statement, his whole body showing complete shock and surprise at those three little words. He had turned bright red, and had replied with a hesitant, "I love you, too." Ginny rolled over, and remember the rest of the conversation as she stared at the dark ceiling.
"I love you, Harry."
"I-I, er, I-I l-love you, too."
"Did I- er, is everything-, What's wrong?" she had asked, fearing the worst when she heard his obvious discomfort.
His response was not what she had expected.
"Nothing's wrong- I love you. It's just I- Well, I don't think any one's ever told me that they loved me before."
No one ever told him that they loved him before.
No one ever told him that they loved him before.
In what world was that ok?
"Didn't your aunt and uncle love you, Harry? Dumbledore chose to put with family for a reason, after all, didn't he?"
"They never loved me," he scoffed, as if the idea was preposterous. "They spent the first ten years I was with them trying to stomp the magic out of me. They liked normal, and anything not normal was bad and didn't deserve their time. And I'm not exactly normal, now am I? Even in the wizarding world I'm a Freak."
Ginny rolled back over in the bed, tears streaking down her face. The motion must have moved the mattress a little too much, for Harry woke, rolling over to face her. As the sleep cleared from his eyes, Ginny watched the youthful innocence clear out as well.
Harry frowned, seeing the tears on his wife's face.
"Oh, honey, why are you crying? Is everything ok?" he asked softly. he hated seeing Ginny sad, it made is heart heavy. He hated when those he loved were in pain.
"Oh, Harry! I love you so much!" she sobbed.
Harry smiled. He rested his hand on Ginny's stomach, feeling the kicking of their tiny unborn child. Ginny had been so emotional lately, proclaiming her love for him every other minute.
"Ginny, I appreciate the sentiment, but that doesn't really explain why you are crying at-," he checked the clock, "four in the morning."
Ginny felt sick. All these years, and he still couldn't accept that someone loved him, that she meant it when she told him that he was the best thing in her life. Even though he couldn't admit it, even to himself, she could tell that he still viewed himself as the Freak in the Cupboard, who didn't deserve to be loved.
"It's nothing, Harry. Just the hormones acting up, I suppose." It was too early in the morning to confront Harry's non-existent self-esteem.
As he slowly fell back asleep, Ginny sent one last thought to him, desperately wishing that he could hear it, that she could have been brave enough to say it out loud. Her last thoughts complete, Ginny closed her eyes, and fell asleep, her breathing matching that of her husband's.
Just let me love you, Harry, even though you don't think you deserve it.