Consequences
Adam:
I thought that it was finally high time that that youngest brother of mine got what was coming to him. I have watched as he twisted our father around his little finger since the day he was born, and frankly I'm just sick of it. Take last Monday for example. Little Joe comes riding home from school over an hour late. The kid is eight years old, and constantly into something, so it came as no surprise that the teacher had kept him late. I thought that maybe this time Pa would come down on him, seeing as how he had threatened him with certain 'consequences' if this happened again. Consequences, that's an interesting word, and it occurred to me just how many meanings the same word could have depending upon who it was in association with. Hoss, or myself it would have meant a trip over Pa's knee at that age. Joe? Of course not. Instead he turns on the tears and looks so hard done by that Pa ended up warning him yet again. Then today, only two days later, here he comes again late from school. I just knew Pa was at the end of his rope with the kid, but wrong again. He told Pa it wasn't his fault that the mice got into the classroom. Told him that he had caught them to keep a cat from killing them, and that they had gotten out of his pocket without him knowing it. Get this, Pa believed it! It was all I could do to keep from screaming out at Pa over the injustice of it all, but I didn't. I'm not that stupid. Well it was then that I decided that one way or the other Little Joe was gonna get it. I was determined to prove to my father that the kid wasn't the angel he thought him to be. I still can't believe I did what I did.
Little Joe:
Holey Toledo, was I ever nervous when I got home Monday. Ole Miss Jones kept me late all on account of me daydreamin'. But shoot, what kid wouldn't be daydreamin' as pretty a day as it was and all. I went into the house hopin' that Pa wouldn't be too mad, but he sure did look to be. He was all red in the face and walkin' back and forth. Hoss was sittin' on the hearth lookin' like he was the one in trouble, and I started to wonder if maybe he was. But I found out real soon that he wasn't. Adam was sittin' in his chair smirkin' at me like he thought it was funny. I don't understand that big brother of mine. You'd think he wanted to see me in trouble. Then it hit me, I remembered the last time Pa was mad at me about bein' kept late he promised me what he calls 'consequences'. Yeah, well I ain't got no doubt what those are for me. That means a spankin', and a good one. So I tell myself it's time to do what older brother calls 'damage control'. I'm not sure just what Adam means when he says it, but to me the only damage I'm tryin' to control is what Pa intends to do to my backside. So I ask myself, Joe, just what is the best way to handle this? My answer? Tears and a lot of 'I'm sorry's' and pitiful looks. And that's just what I did. I got so upset that Pa didn't do nothin' but warn me not to do it again, as he held me and rubbed my back. Yeah, yeah, I know. It's not really the honest and truthful thing to do, but I panicked. I mean come on. I'm only eight and my Pa makes at least three of me. That's when I decided I'd better be good for awhile, or I wouldn't be sittin' for awhile. And I was, that is until Wednesday, and that wasn't my fault. Really it wasn't, and was I surprised that Pa believed me. I was only tryin' to help the mice out. If I hadn't of put them in my pocket that ole cat would have killed them fer sure. How was I to know that they would get out of my pocket and scare all of the girls in school? Well, Miss Jones kept me and sent a note home to Pa, but after explainin' it to him, he understood it wasn't my fault. I could see that Hoss agreed with me, cause he wouldn't want that ole cat a killin' them mice either. But Adam, now he was another story. He looked like he was mad enough to spit nails. Don't know why, but he looked at Pa like had two heads or somethin' just cause he didn't bust my tail. You'd think he'd be more understandin' than that, as many times as Pa's done busted his tail. The look he gave me told me to be careful, cause older brother has somethin' planned. I still can't believe he did what he did.
Hoss:
Now believe me, I know what kinda mischief my baby brother can get up to, and I ain't tryin' to cover fer 'em. Monday was his fault. He knew he was s'posed to be payin' attention to the teacher, and he didn't. I knew he was in trouble before he even got home, cause Pa was yellin' about all those 'consequences' he was gonna payin'. He kept talkin' about 'that boy' and what he was gonna do to him. Kept sayin' he was gonna tan his backside. Wonder where they come up with that anyways, cause when ya get a tannin' from my Pa, ya backside ain't tan, it's red. But anyhow, the kid comes in, all down and out. Looks like he done gone and lost his best friend. He knew he was in fer it and so he did what came natural fer 'em. He started crying and Pa durned near couldn't calm 'em down. Well shoot after thirty minutes or so, Pa'd done forgot all about bein' mad at 'em and just let 'em off with a warnin'. I could see the relief in Joe's face, but what I saw in Adam's was pure 'd anger. You'd think he wanted the kid to get a lickin'. Don't know why he'd feel that way as many as he's done got before. I cautioned Joe that he'd better be careful and stay outta trouble for awhile and he swore to me he would. Well he did, until Wednesday that is. But in all fairness, it really wasn't his fault. He was tryin' to save the poor little mice from that big ole tomcat that hangs out at the school. How was he to know they'd get out of his pocket? Well anyways, the kid was kept late again and had a note. I just knew this was it for the kid, and they wasn't no savin' his butt now. But here he stood, in front of Pa. Tears threatin', chin a quiverin' and holdin' out two of the cutest little mice ya ever did see to Pa. I swear the look on his little face made ya think he thought Pa'd just rip'em out of his hand and feed 'em to the cat hisself. I was so relieved when Pa believed him, but if looks could kill. Adam was doin' all he could to keep from hollerin' at Pa, and we all know that's be a mistake. One that could cost ya some hide, no matter how old ya are. I still can't believe he done gone and did what he did.
Ben:
Now that oldest boy of mine is usually a levelheaded young man. He is remarkably mature for his young age of twenty...most of the time. For some reason he has gotten it in his head that I am spoiling Joseph, and that I let him get away with too much. Ok, maybe I am a little bit easy on the boy, but if I took him to task over everything he does, the boy would never sit down. This has been a trying week so far. Monday, Joseph was late coming home from school and it didn't take much to figure out why. What was so bad about it was I had just told him last week what the consequences would be if he were late again. So when he walked in, I was waiting on him. He looked so sorry for himself, so small and scared. Well when he looked up at me with those tears and said he was sorry, I tried to stand firm. The child got so hysterical that I couldn't do anything but sit and hold him. I rubbed his little back til he had finally calmed down and fallen asleep. Well, I could see that Hoss was relieved his little brother wasn't getting a spanking, but Adam was another story. It was easy to tell that he thought I was wrong, but he was also smart enough not to tell me that. Joseph had promised me that he would stay out of trouble, and he did...that is until Wednesday. I was shocked when at four o'clock my baby son wasn't home as he should be, so we waited. By the time he showed up, Adam was smug, Hoss was worried, and I was furious. I had made up my mind that the young man in question wouldn't be sitting comfortably for the next day or so. When the door opened and he walked in, I could see he also knew this. He looked up at me with those big green eyes, wet with tears. His little chin quivering as he tried to hold the sobs at bay. With one hand he held out a note from Miss Jones, the other he kept in his coat pocket. After reading what the teacher had to say, I sat down on the table in front of the child. Tipping his chin up, I asked what he had to say on the matter. This is where he proceeded to tell me all about how he had to save the mice from the mean ole cat, and that he didn't mean for them to get out of his pocket in class. Holding them out in his little hands the boy looked at me like he thought I'd feed the poor little things right to the cat myself. It was decided right then and there that the little fella was not taking a trip over my knee. I mean, it was not his fault. I could see that Hoss was feeling the same as I was and was proud of his baby brother for saving the little animals. Adam was another story. He looked for all in this world as if he was going to challenge me on this issue. Luckily for him he chose to keep his mouth closed, because contrary to what he believes, he isn't to old to get a reminder of how to behave. I still to this day can not believe the boy did what he did.
Adam:
So, I guess you're wondering just what it is that I did that no one believes I could do. Well, it happened Friday. I had thought and thought about what to do. I know now, it was really kind of childish in me to want my baby bother to get in trouble with Pa, but at the time it seemed like a good idea. I started out by catching a couple of chicken snakes and putting them in an old grain sack. Then I got a jar of honey and stashed it in my saddlebags along with another sack of chicken feathers. Poor ole Hop Sing still don't know why all of a sudden I wanted chicken so much the rest of the week. Anyhow, with all of my props hidden away, I waited until after Joe left for school and followed him in. Now, I didn't bother telling Pa where I was going, that was a mistake. I get to the edge of town where the school is located, and left Sport in the nearby bushes for a quick get away. Easing over to the back door of the building I waited until I knew the kids were going out to recess and started my mission. Easing the door open, I balanced the pan of honey on it. Rigging up the string that would release the feathers was next. I carefully placed the string where it wouldn't take more than just a slight movement to set it off, just like a snare. Next came the snakes. I watched as the kids all made there way back into the classroom and took their seats, before quietly depositing the snakes inside the open window. Miss Jones took one look at the intruders and screamed. Naturally she ran out the back door. Laughter was all I heard as the honey poured over her and then the feathers hit her. She looked like that chicken ole Pete sees when he's been hitting the whiskey a little too hard. While the kids were all either laughing at the teacher or helping her, I made my way over to my baby brother's gear and stashed the honey jar in his saddlebags. I know. It was wrong. But the kid just gets away with so much, that it's just not fair. Little did I know, I had an audience. You've heard of a captive audience? Well, my audience captured me. I whirled around as I felt the iron grip on my arm, just to look into the massive chest of my father. There he stood, looking none too happy with me. He reached around me and took the honey jar out of Joe's bag and looked at it. Then he looked at me. Then he looked at Miss Jones, who had just walked out of the building, attempting to wipe the sticky mess from her eyes. Can you even start to guess how embarrassing it is to be my age and have your father stand you in front of the teacher to make your apology? Well, I do. There was no way out of it. I had to tell the whole long, sad story from start to finish. It was bad enough that Pa knew, but now so did Joe and Hoss, who I found out later, was with Pa. Now I fully expected to hear a good long ear-burning lecture, and to be restricted to the ranch forever, but I never dreamed Pa would do what he did. He looked at me, and then asked Miss Jones if he could borrow the schoolroom for a few minutes to remind me of the consequences of bad behavior. Now, I was really hoping he just wanted privacy to yell at me, but then he stopped on the top step and called back to the teacher. "Miss Jones, where do you keep that paddle?" She told him, he found it, and boy did I feel it. I haven't had my backside busted like that in a long time. The ride home was might near impossible, but I made it. Then I had to wait in my room til Joe got home and apologize to him for trying to set him up. He was really good about it, and forgave me. Actually the kid told me he rather enjoyed the prank and wanted me to give him a few pointers. Of course I said I would, what are big brothers for?
Little Joe:
Adam had been actin' strange all week. I knew he thought Pa shoulda wholloped me good and was mad that he didn't. But it was more than that. He had some kinda strange hankerin' for chicken all week. Couldn't figure it out, til Friday. It had been a long mornin' and to be honest I was tryin' to think of a way to liven things up a bit, when it happened. As soon as we all got back in from recess, Miss Jones started screamin' and runnin' from a couple of snakes. They looked like a couple of cowboys and she was the stray, causes they rounded her up and right out the back door. What happened next was bout the funniest thing I ever did see. A pan of somethin' sticky, that I later found out was honey, fell on her head coating her good. Then as she staggered out the door, she was plastered by a bunch of feathers. I wondered if this was what the big chicken ole Pete sees sometimes looked like. Some of us, after laughing for awhile, helped her out the front door so she could clean up in the horse through. That's when I spotted them, my family. There was Hoss standing at the horses watching as Pa marched Adam toward where we stood. I couldn't believe it. My brother, old granite head, was behind it. He had pulled the all time best prank ever. Boy was I proud, that is til I found out he had planned on hangin' me with it. I couldn't believe it. My own brother. But then again, I knew why he did, and really couldn't blame him. I know I get away with too much, and how he feels about it. Still hadda hand it to him, it was a good one. Pa was madder than I ever remember seein' him. He made Adam stand in front of Miss Jones and apologize to her. That was bad enough, but what was worse was we all had watched it. I figured that Pa'd just yell a lot and make Adam go home on restrictions, but boy did he fool me. He asked Miss Jones to borrow the classroom so he could remind Adam how to act. It was something to do with 'consequences of bad behavior'. To me that meant a sore bottom, but Adam was too old for that. Or at least I thought he was cause when Pa got to the top of the steps, he asked my teacher where her paddle was. You could have knocked me over with a feather, hahaha. When I got home, Adam apologized to me and I forgave him. I asked him to give me a few pointers on pranks and he said he would. I mean after all, what are big brothers for?
Hoss:
I couldn't believe it, I just couldn't. Pa decided that he needed to go to town to pick up some things and asked me to go with him, seein' as how my older brother had taken off without a word. That alone put Pa in a bear of a mood, but that was nothin' compared to what happened next. When we got to town, we spotted Sport tied to some bushes just outside of the schoolyard. Stopping, we watched as Adam ran down across the yard to the shed where the kids leave their gear and tack. We watched as he put something inside Joe's saddlebags. Pa knew that he was up to somethin', so he stomped over and grabbed him by the arm. Takin' the honey jar from little brothers bags, Pa looked at it, then Adam and then to the teacher who was bein' lead down the steps. She was covered with the honey and chicken feathers. First thing I thought of was ole Pete. I couldn't believe it. Older brother Adam had pulled a prank that would match any little brother would think up. Only problem was he intended to make everyone think Joe did it. That just ain't right. I know he gets upset about how Pa babies Joe, but still, it ain't right. Next thing I know is Pa's dragging Adam in front of the teacher and makin' him apologize. I braced myself for the loudest lecture you can imagine to start, but instead, Pa asked Miss Jones to borrow the classroom. He was draggin' Adam up the steps yellin' somethin' about consequences and bad behavior. I figured he just wanted to be alone to do the hollerin', boy was I shocked when he turned and asked the teacher where she kept the paddle. The ride home was not a pleasant one. Pa was still furious, Adam was hurtin' somethin' fierce, and I was just tryin' to keep quite. Pa made Adam apologize to Little Joe for tryin' to get him in trouble. He didn't mind, cause he was gonna anyways. Little brother asked Adam if he'd give him some pointers on pullin' pranks and he told him he would. Of course he said yes, after all, what big brothers are for?
Ben:
A chicken? What would posses a twenty year old young man to turn the town schoolteacher into a chicken? It was a good thing ole Pete wasn't around anywhere at the time. You can't even start to know how embarrassed I was to see my oldest son sneaking around the schoolyard like a common criminal. It was bad enough not to be able to find him this morning when I needed him to go to town, but then to find him already there, doing what he was doing was just too much. I watched the boy as he ran over and put something inside his baby brother's saddlebags. Knowing this was not the typical behavior of my normally mature son, I decided to see what he was up to. I walked over to where he was and grabbed his arm. He was more than a little surprised. He literally looked as if he'd faint. Reaching around him, I removed the object and found it to be an empty jar of honey. I looked at it, then to Adam, then to schoolhouse. There I saw one, Miss Abigail Jones being helped down the steps by several of the students. She was covered in honey and feathers. It was then that I knew exactly what was going on. Well I promptly lead my oldest little boy over to stand in front of the teacher, where he couldn't do anything but spill the whole story. The more he talked, the angrier I got. The prank was bad enough, but to try to pin it on his baby brother was just too much. This is when I made the decision that my son needed a reminder of the consequences of bad behavior. He was still holding out hope of just a lecture as I dragged him toward the building. The look on the boy's face was priceless as I turned and asked the teacher where she kept the paddle. I took that boy inside and bent him over the teacher's desk and busted his tail good for him. Finished, I marched him home and made him stay in his room until his little brother got home from school. He knew he was to apologize to Joseph, and he did. He was sorry about what he did, and I forgave him. I know he thinks I'm too easy on his brother, and maybe he's right, but after today I doubt any of them will try me for awhile. Although, Joe did ask for a few pointers on pulling pranks, and Adam agreed. I just hope he don't give the boy too many. It's his job to help keep him out of trouble. After all, what are big brothers for?
The End (April 2005)