Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.
Itachi had been able to ignore the first ominous signs of romance blossoming in the air.
It was perfectly naturally, he reasoned, for Kisame to receive a dozen packs of scented tissues in the mail with nothing but a heart-shaped note attached. And when a bulky package that felt suspiciously like a hand-knitted sweater arrived, he dropped it in front of Kisame at the breakfast table without a word. But even he couldn't think of a reasonable explanation for the puppy busy lapping at his face, or the ridiculously gaudy pink bow tied around its neck.
Except, of course, that it was a present from a would-be suitor of Kisame's.
An image of a beautiful black-haired woman with milky white skin and violet eyes popped up in Itachi's head. It was immediately followed by an image of Kisame.
Yeah right, thought Itachi. There's no way this is happening.
Bracing himself, he carried the puppy into the kitchen. He held it up in front of Kisame's face and waited for him to explain it.
Kisame looked at the puppy. It looked back at him, and barked happily.
"It's not for me," clarified Itachi, when Kisame didn't say anything.
"What makes you think it's for me?" asked Kisame, hesitantly.
Itachi sighed inwardly. "Have you been living with yourself this last month?"
Kisame stared at him.
Itachi sighed again. The only thing that was sharp about Kisame was his sword. It was a wonder that anyone saw fit to woo him.
"Who is it?" asked Itachi, growing weary of the game and eager to be rid of the puppy.
Kisame lowered his gaze and Itachi swore he thought he saw a blush creep across the other man's cheeks. But then again, it was hard to tell against the blue.
"It's Iruka," he said quietly.
When Itachi regained consciousness thirty minutes later, he nearly fainted again at the sight of Kisame's face crumpled into a look of concern.
"If this is what I have to put up with if you're in love," he said, "then you can forget it now."
Kisame grinned, but Itachi didn't know if it was supposed to be reassuring or not. Either way, he wished he could forget the events of the morning and regress into his original state of blissful ignorance.
Yes, thought Itachi, that is definitely the best course of action.