Description: My version of Joey and Pacey's break up at Prom and the after math.

Author's Note: This story with be updated regularly

Disclaimer: I only own the story not the characters besides Steven.

Chapter #1

(Pacey's pov)

" You wanted me to take the happy mask off, well it's off Joey. So answer me this one question. Why are you with me? Really, why are you with me? Because I don't know why I'm still with you. I mean I used to but I don't anymore.", I exclaim in frustration as the flood gates of pent up anger open. Not sure what the hell I am doing right now or why but I am about to completely shattered poor Joey Potter's heart. The worst part is? I have to, this needs to be done. Joey is not meant to be with a guy like me. She refuses to see that she could do better then me and I am left with no other option right now but to completely wreck her heart.

" I'll make a note of that.", answers Joey with a look of hurt and agitation in her eyes. Every fiber of my being is telling me to stop, to shut up and to just walk away. But I just can't. Letting Joey settle for me when I know that she deserves so much more then I could ever offer her...it would be a mistake. One that I am not willing to let her make. Am I still in love with Joey? Yes very much so but she is about to go off to Worthington. Where would I fit into her life there? I wouldn't, I would only be holding Joey back and that is the last thing that I want to do.

" What I do know, I feel like I'm Josephine Potter's little charity project. I feel like I'm the designated loser. The fact...back off!", I snap at my sister Gretchen as she makes an attempt to stop me from saying something that I won't be able to take back. It is a little too late for that though. I have had these thoughts and feelings bottled up inside me for way too long. They were bound to come spewing out sooner or later. Do I think prom is the most ideal place? To be honest, no but this is where I reached my breaking point.

" Pacey, I never said that! Look this isn't about me, this is about you.", argues Joey in her own defense. She is right, Joey is absolutely right. Not once did she ever tell me I am the designated loser but by just accepting my mistakes like they are meant to be, she may as well have. While I know that everything I am about to say once it is out, I can't take it back. At this point I don't really care. For way too long I have kept quiet and bottle up all these feelings and insecurities about my short comings, I just can't do it anymore though and I am not going to.

" It is about you! It's about you and how you make me feel when I'm with you. Okay, I feel like I'm stupid and I'm worthless and I'm never right! But you know what I realized? That is not my fault! It is not my fault because when I'm with you it's poor Pacey he didn't get into college, he forgot the limo, he ripped the dress and messed up the corsage.", I yell out in anger as I list my countless screw ups. All of which Joey just brushed off as if they were no big deal. It was almost as though she expected me to mess everything up and didn't want to make a big deal and have me feel bad. The fact of the matter is, I want her to be upset and to care and make a big deal. I don't just want Joey to accept my mistakes like they were meant to be. Does she have any idea how that makes me feel? It hurts like hell to know Joey just expects me to mess up.

" I told you that I didn't care about any of that!", remarks Joey before throwing her hands up in frustration. This is precisely what I am talking about. How can she not see how badly I need her to care about all of my little screw ups? By Joey just accepting them all this tells me is that she expects nothing less from me. Knowing that Joey assumes that I will more then likely screw something up? That thought alone is enough to kill me. I wish more then anything she would hold me accountable for my mistakes and not just brush them off like they are nothing and not a big deal.

" But I want you to care! I want you to care! I don't want you to just accept it like that's the way its supposed to be. We are not trapped on this boat, you and I are trapped in this relationship! I can't take it anymore Joey. When I'm with you I feel like I'm nothing! I feel like I'm nothing. That's why I flinch when you go to touch me. It's why I never touch you, why I never even think about it. Because whenever I start to it just reminds me that I'm not good enough.", I vent loudly in anger and frustration. By now poor Joey is nearly in tears. Yet here I am shattering her heart without so much as a second thought. I do not deserve Joey at this point. She did nothing to deserve my hate filled rant. Yet here I am yelling at her for my own damn short comings. I'm not even sure why she has not slapped me across the face. Lord knows I would deserve it had she chose to do exactly that. I am intentionally breaking Joey's heart right now, and for what? What reasoning could possibly justify my actions?"

Folding her arms across her chest, Joey glares up at me with tears in her eyes," Are you done?"

Shaking my head, I laugh bitterly to myself," oh no, I'm just getting started."

" Well you can stop and you can go to hell.", mutters Joey before taking off. I watch as she leaves without another word. There is no taking back any of the words that I just said. Joey hates me as she has just about every reason to. I had no reason to explode on her the way that I did…in front of everyone no less. When I saw her with Dawson though, I just lost it. For the first time in a long time, Joey looked happy. While I said that I didn't care, I did. Hell, I hated that Dawson is the one who was able to get Joey to smile. What is done is done though, there is no taking back any of the hurtful words I just spewed out at Potter. …

(Present day)

" That was the last you spoke with her?", asks my friend Steven after a minute or so of silence. No, after wards I felt it necessary to explain my outburst to Joey. Not that it made all that much of a difference. In a matter of minutes I had managed to rip Joey's heart from her chest, stomp on it and then hand it back to her in shards. Since that day I have saw neither head or tails of Joey Potter. The girl makes it a point to leave whatever social gathering we're at the moment she spots me. Simply put Joey wants positively nothing to do with me and I honestly can not say that I blame her.

" No, we did. Shortly after I exploded on Joey, I explained to her why. That I thought she could do better then me and I would only hold her back.", I acknowledge before taking a drink from my beer. That was a conversation that did not end well either. Joey has wanted nothing to do with me since. Can't say that I really blame her though. Why I chose prom to have that particular argument with Joey, I will never know. I just saw her with Dawson and lost it. Something inside me snapped and I went off without ever thinking twice.

" Let me ask you something Pacey, the photo of that girl in your wallet...is that Joey?", inquires Steven with an arched eye brow before leaning forward in his seat. How does he know about the photo I have tucked away in my wallet? Further more why does Steven care if it is Joey? I mean, it is. I am failing to see why this is his business though. Why does he insist on making me rehash the past tonight? The last thing I want to do is remember just how much of a jack ass I was to Joey that night. It was not one of my finer moments that much is for sure.

" Alright, I'm going to ignore the fact you know that I have a photo in my wallet. Why do you care if it's Joey's though?", I question when my curiosity gets the best of me. I mean, it is but what is it any of Steven's business? Found it shortly after our break up nearly three years ago. Wasn't ready to just toss it so I placed it in my wallet instead where it has since remained. Truth is I just do not have the heart to take it out. While I know Potter wants nothing more to do with me, I just can not bring myself to get rid of the photograph of her. It is currently all that remains of our once thriving relationship.

" Well, normally I wouldn't Pace. ...Except that girl in the corner booth looks an awful lot like Joey.", confides Steven with a nod of his head. Following his gaze, my eyes land on none other then miss Josephine Potter. Low and behold there she is. Jo has not changed one bit since high school, three years and she still has the ability to take my breath away. Look at her, she is frickin' beautiful. Should I go over to her? If I did would Joey even want to see me? Something tells me I already know the answer to this question though I can't help wanting to make things right after all these years. Joey deserves an apology, whether she accepts it is a completely different story. …