Hello everyone it's me Animediva943 with a brand new story. I was watching avenue q on youtube and then the inspiration for this story came. Also this will be an AU. I put it in the naruto section because I thought it was more fitting. Anyway enjoy the story.
I don't own Naruto, Avenue Q, or the songs.
Input song: it sucks to be me.
The cast will resemble the following from avenue Q
Sasuke=Princeton
Naruto=bryan
Sakura=kate monster
Shikamaru=rod
Choji=nicky
Ten-ten=Christmas Eve
Rock lee=trekkie monster
Kakashi=Gary Coleman
Ino=Lucy the slut
Kiba, Iruka and Jiraya=the bad Idea bears
Shino=Ricky.
A/N: I had to watch avenue Q before writing this fic. If I get anything wrong I'm sorry. Plus I made Sakura and Rock lee demons because in avenue q, Kate and Trekkie were monsters and I want it to be an accurate spoof of that play.
Avenue N
Chapter 1
It sucks to be me
On a bus ride to a New city, Sasuke Uchiha was looking at all of his belongings, his photos and most importantly his college degree in bio chemistry. He had so much potential, so many accomplishments and all the talent in the world. However that talent and those gifts were going to waste in his old neighborhood. He would try to find himself a job but it wouldn't go through. He got evicted from his house because he struggled to pay his bills after being laid off. He remembered it just like it was yesterday.
Flashback-three months ago
", can you come in here for a moment?" Hinata asked. She was the head of Hyuga corp. one of the most famous companies in the whole city. She always seemed to be very shy and demure. It was that time of year again, some people were about to get laid off or fired. Unfortunately for him, Sasuke was on the list. He was hoping that maybe he wouldn't get laid off now, but that wouldn't be the case.
"As you know, we are making cuts again this year, and you were on the list to be laid off." She explained.
"I know," he replied, standing in front of her nervous as ever. He had been working in that company for ten years, ever since he graduated college. And now it was possible that he would lose his job of ten years.
"Mr. Uchiha, you have always been one of my best interns and I have always been grateful that you were here. You have made a great chemist but I cannot afford to pay you anymore." Then the bad news dropped like a bomb.
"Forgive me Sasuke, but I have to let you go."
End flashback.
While on the bus to his new neighborhood, he stared hard at his diploma, wondering if he really earned it. If it actually meant something.
"I spend for years in college trying to earn you and yet I still don't have a job. I have to find a new, cheaper neighborhood to live in all because you didn't hold up to your worth." It was ironic; the career he lost was the same career that caused him to lose his fiancée. Sure he cared about his work, but it seemed like he loved his job more than her and that is what drove her away.
Flashback eight months ago
"Dammit Sasuke!" a blond girl with four ponytails screamed. "You're always at your office you're never home for me or my daughter!"
Sasuke knew that he had to provide a home for them. At the time he had just been promoted to head secretary and since then, he was spending extra hours at the office and had hardly time for her or his future stepdaughter.
"I'm sorry Temari." He said. "It's just that my boss has been shoving paperwork up my ass since she gave me that promotion."
"So what?!" Temari shouted. Her rage was overflowing the entire house. Every day she and Sasuke would get into these fights and she would always complain about how he was never there for her, how she always had to care for her daughter. The raven haired man talked a lot about adopting her, but couldn't exactly hold up to his promises. Whether it was taking her to the movies or even picking her up at school, he just couldn't pick her up on time because of his new promotion.
"YOU NEED TO OWN TO YOUR GOD DAMN RESPONSIBILITIES!" the blond single mom screamed again.
"I told you already!" he yelled back. "I can't do everything because I have to work. I have to put a roof over your head and food on the table!"
"Do you see this sasuke?" Temari asked. Holding a peace of paper to his face. Said paper read.
NOTICE OF EVICTION
TENANTS MUST PAY $3,937 WITHIN 30 DAYS OR LEAVE THE APARTMENT.
"This is"
"A FUCKING EVICTION NOTICE!" She interrupted. She had just about had it with all the drama and was not about to let herself or her child have to sleep on the street. She grabbed everything that the raven haired chemist owned and tossed it to him violently then she threw the engagement ring at him, almost hitting his eye.
"I'm done with your bullshit, Sasuke. Now get the fuck out of my house, NOW!" Temari demanded.
"wait, honey don't do this…" he pleaded.
"OUT!" the blond woman shouted again. This time pushing him out the door.
End flashback.
Meanwhile in a neighborhood known as Avenue N. Naruto Uzumaki was heading out to find a new job. Like Sasuke, he recently got laid off and was struggling to pay the bills.
On his way to his first job hunt he ran into his childhood friend, a demon girl named Sakura Haruno.
SONG STARTS HERE!
"Morning Naruto." She greeted.
"Hi, Sakura." He responded.
"How's life?" the pink haired demon asked.
"Disappointing." He answered.
SAKURA
What's the matter?
NARUTO
The caterine company
laid me off.
SAKURA
Oh, I'm sorry!
NARUTO
Me too! I mean, look at me!
I'm ten years out of college, and I
always thought -
SAKURA
What?
NARUTO
No, it sounds stupid.
SAKURA
Aww, come on!
NARUTO
When I was little
I thought I would be...
SAKURA
What?
NARUTO
A big comedian
on late night TV
But now I'm thirty-two
And as you can see
I'm not
SAKURA
Nope!
NARUTO
Oh Well,
It sucks to be me.
SAKURA
Nooo.
NARUTO
It sucks to be me.
SAKURA
No!
NARUTO
It sucks to be broke
and unemployed
and turning thirty-three.
It sucks to be me.
SAKURA
Oh, you think your life sucks?
NARUTO
I think so.
SAKURA
Your problems aren't so bad!
I'm kinda pretty
And pretty damn smart.
NARUTO
You are.
SAKURA
Thanks!
I like romantic things
Like music and art.
And as you know
I have a gigantic heart
So why don't I have
A boyfriend?
Fuck!
It sucks to be me!
NARUTO
Me too.
SAKURA
It sucks to be me.
NARUTO
It sucks to be me.
It sucks to be naurto
SAKURA
And sakura
NARUTO
To not have a job!
KATE MONSTER
To not have a date!
BOTH
It sucks to be me.
While complaining about how much their lives were supposedly rotten, they saw their friends Shikamaru and Choji arguing. They were roommates for a long time and as roommates they always got on each others nerves about something. They were yelling so loud and talking over each other so much that Naruto and Sakura couldn't tell what they were fighting about.
NARUTO
Hey, Shikamaru, Choji can you
settle something for us?
Do you have a second?
SHIKAMARU
Ah, certainly.
SAKURA
Whose life sucks more?
Brian's or mine?
CHOJI AND SHIKAMARU
Ours!
SHIKAMARU
We live together.
CHOJI
We're as close
As people can get.
SHIKAMARU
We've been the best
of buddies...
CHOJI
Ever since the
Day we met.
SHIKAMARU
So he knows lots
Of ways to make me
Really upset.
Oh, every day is
An aggravation.
CHOJI
Come on, that's
an exaggeration!
SHIKAMARU
You leave your
clothes out.
You put your feet
On my chair.
CHOJI
Oh yeah?
You do such anal
Things like ironing
Your underwear.
SHIKAMARU
You make that very
Small apartment
We share a hell.
CHOJI
So do you,
That's why I'm in hell too!
SHIKAMARU
It sucks to be me!
CHOJI
No, it sucks to be me!
SAKURA
It sucks to be me!
NARUTO
It sucks to be me!
ALL
Is there anybody here
It doesn't suck to be?
It sucks to be me!
While walking around the city singing about how much they believed their lives sucked. They ran into Naruto's fiancée who was just getting off of work. Ten-ten.
TEN-TEN
Why you all so happy?
CHOJI
Becuase our lives suck!
TEN-TEN
Your lives suck?
I hearing you correctly? Ha!
I coming to this country
For opportunities.
Tried to work in
Korean deli
But I am Japanese.
But with hard work
I earn two Master's Degrees
In social work!
And now I a therapist!
But I have no clients
And I have an
Unemployed fiance'!
And we have lots
Of bills to pay!
It suck to be me!
It suck to be me!
I say it
Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-
Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-
Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-
Suck!
It suck to be me!
Sasuke finally gets off of the bus and sees his potential new friends. He had just found an apartment building that he believed he could afford. And he needed help to get to the superintendents office.
"Excuse me." He interrupted.
"hey there!" Naruto greeted.
"can someone help me please, I'm looking for a place to live."
"Why are looking all the way out here?" ten ten asked.
"I just moved here from avenue C. I tried avenue K but the rent was out of my price range. And this neighborhood seemed a little cheaper." Sasuke answered.
Then Naruto and the others led the new man in town to superintendent Kakashi's office. The raven haired man seemed a bit star struck when he saw Kakashi's face.
NARUTO
Yo, Gary!
KAKASHI
I'm comin'! I'm comin'!
SASUKE
Oh my God!
It's Kakashi Hatake!
GARY COLEMAN
Yes I am!
I'm Gary Coleman
From TV's
Diff'rent Strokes
I made a lotta money
That got stolen
By my folks!
Now I'm broke and
I'm the butt
Of everyone's jokes,
But I'm here -
The Superintendent!
On Avenue Q -
ALL
It sucks to be you.
KATE MONSTER
You win!
ALL
It sucks to be you.
BRIAN
I feel better now!
GARY COLEMAN
Try having people
stopping you to ask you
"What you talkin' 'bout, Willis?"
It gets old.
ALL
It sucks to be you
On Avenue Q
(Sucks to be me)
On Avenue Q
(Sucks to be you)
On Avenue Q
(Sucks to be us)
But not when
We're together.
We're together
Here on Avenue Q!
We live on Avenue Q!
Our friends do too!
'Til our dreams
Come true,
We live on Avenue Q!
PRINCETON
This is real life!
ALL
We live on Avenue Q!
NICKY
You're gonna love it!
ALL
We live on Avenue Q!
GARY COLEMAN
Here's your keys!
ALL
Welcome to Avenue Q!
meanwhile sasuke was in his new apartment making himself at home.
"Avenue N huh?" he said to himself. "well, let's see what happens.