Chapter 1

Adam and Hoss could say what they wanted, they usually did anyway. Joe would let them prattle on. He had something they would never have. He was going to marry Kitty Manning Barrett the most beautiful girl in all of Nevada. Just about then he felt like he was the luckiest man alive.

To Joe she was a vision. His breath caught in his chest as he suddenly rounded a tree and caught sight of her. She had come early. She stood by the LAKE looking shy and more beautiful than ever, her hands clasped in front of her.

"You're early," He swaggered up to her, a broad smile crossing his tanned young face.

She blushed demurely.

"I'm glad you come early, it'll give us more time to..."

"Joe," she stayed his hand before he could place it around her shoulder.

"Joe, we need to talk things over."

The smile slipped from Joes face. It was quickly replaced with a slight look of confusion.

"But...what do we need to talk over. I told ye, I got it all worked out. We can marry in three years. I'll have enough money saved by then. We can settle somewhere else, somewhere where no one knows who we are. I'll get a job as a ranch hand..."

She shook her head. "Joe, you're fifteen years old."

"I'll find work, I'll hire myself out as a horse breaker."

She put her hand to his lips. "Joe, we're too young, it's all going too fast."

Joe felt a wave of panic rising in his chest.

"What do you want me to do Kitty, I'll do what you want me to..." Joe couldn't finish. He looked down at his shoes and tried to control the emotions welling up within him.

Kitty reached up and gently kissed his cheek. He felt a ring being put into his hand. He looked down at it. It had cost him all the money he had.

"I'm sorry Joe," She whispered.

"Yeah, don't worry about it." Joe tried to smile but found he couldn't look at her.

She backed away from him and ran back towards the dirt road. Once he was sure she was out of sight Joe allowed the tears to fall. He couldn't even begin to process what just happened. How could he have been so wrong.

~o~

It was another hour of just sitting by the lake before he could get himself together. He remembered as a child fishing there with Hoss not a care in the world. Life had been so much easier then. All he cared about was fishing and playing with his friends acting out the gun battles they had read about in the latest dime novel. Who needed girls anyway. They always make you do stupid stuff anyway like take walks for no good reason and talking rubbish about the moon and the stars. Who needed them anyways. Even as he spoke Joe put a hand up to his face to swipe at the tears beginning to gather there once more.

Luck was with him when he got home. Ben was flat out tired and fast asleep by the fire. Adam was absorbed in fixing a drawer that had come apart in Ben's desk. Only Hoss spoke to him as he headed into the kitchen.

"Your dinner is in the stove. You're lucky Hop Sing had ta go out. He was madder than a desert snake at you for not bein here to eat his meat pie. He made it especially for you."

Joe only nodded. He took a cookie from a jar on the shelf and went to leave the kitchen.

"You ain't gonna eat it?" Hoss asked.

Joe shook his head. He exited the kitchen crossed the living room and headed for the stairs.

Hoss watched him go. He sidled back into the kitchen and retrieved Joe's dinner from the stove. The contents would make a fine sandwich he decided.

Joe didn't even eat the cookie. It had only been a prop to make his actions look nonchalant. He didn't much feel like eating anything. He lay down on the bed and put an arm up over his face. He closed his eyes though he knew there would be no sleep for him that night.

What happened, had he done something wrong? He thought again of the evening he spent with Kitty and her mother. Had he made a fine enough impression? He wore his best suit, scraped a comb through his unruly mop of curls. Maybe he should have asked Adam about dinner table manners. He hadn't expected all that cutlery. They were just eating a dinner, they weren't gathering weapons to fight off the Paiutes.

Kitty's mother was so much older than he had expected. She had a face neither soft nor kind. Her piercing dark eyes seemed to bore into him. She rather looked down her nose at him as if she was beholding something distasteful. Truth be told he hadn't expected such a cold reception. Kitty had assured him that her mother was keen to meet him in person.

What she was keen to do was ask him a barrage of questions.

"Your father I hear has been married no more than three times is that correct?"

"Yes ma'am, he…." Joe tried to answer but there was yet another question.

"And he has three sons all by different wives,"

Joe had never thought of it in that way, he could only nod his head in agreement and try to swallow down the clump of roast lamb caught in his throat.

"That is very odd I must say, and your mother, I hear she was from New Orleans."

Joe blushed red. "Yes ma'am."

He seemed to sink lower in his seat with every question she put to him.

Joe had planned to tell Kitty's mother the happy news of their engagement that evening but the happy news remained a secret between the pair.

~o~

Joe stepped heavily down the stairs the next morning. He stopped short of the breakfast table, all were eating and he didn't want to join them.

"I'll start in on my chores, it's looking like it might rain in the afternoon so I'll get them done early." He told them as he headed for the door.

"Joseph," Ben called out to him.

Joe turned and hoped Ben wouldn't press him into taking food.

"You're pale looking, didn't you sleep son?"

"Not very well Pa, it was that damn shutter again, it was squeaking all night,"

"I'll take a look at it," Adam mumbled as he took a draught of coffee.

Joe was relieved to be out sweeping out the barns on his own. He remembered how Adam and Hoss had laughed when he had told them of his plans to marry Kitty. If they found that so funny they would find the fact that she dumped him even more hilarious. He couldn't bare it to be teased about that. He was trying to act as normal as he could but he was struggling, her rejection of his love had left an open gaping wound and he honestly didn't know if he could ever get over it.